Reflections on Fortress Besieged

"People in the city want to escape, and people outside the city want to rush in. Whether it is marriage or career, it is a universal wish of life. "

one

When it comes to love, I am a very conservative person. For twenty years, I have been totally honest, and my resume is a blank sheet of paper, but I am particularly good at talking on paper.

I love to think about it, and the more I think about it, the worse it gets. I always feel that in some prejudices, love is a slightly vulgar thing.

I don't know if this is accurate. Aside from the relationship between puppy love and primary and secondary education, compared with the pursuit of career, academic research, feelings for home and country, charity volunteers, GDPGPA, etc., love is slightly insufficient, and it is not very popular on the stage, but it is often active in the entertainment sector: as far away as a star's scandal, as close as Boys and Girls' Day, full of banners, love life shows in friends circle, and single dog who has been repeatedly attacked.

Poke your brain a little, and you will understand that love is a very personal thing after all. Why do you have to compare it with those tall things? Just make fun of it after dinner and adjust the right to work and study. But because love is everyone's private affair, no one can deny its meaning. Through love, one can feel happiness and self-worth; Through love, the relationship between people in society becomes more and more complicated and close; On a larger scale, through love, the reproduction of races can continue, and the struggle for survival, a natural selection, has put on a romantic coat.

Imagine two strangers, from acquaintance to love, from strangeness to life. It's incredible to think about it. How many wonderful fate and stories will there be. How many girls, in how many years of youth, have a beautiful imagination of love and tirelessly weave that perfect figure in their minds.

Thinking of "To Youth", there was a short comment that was quite popular at that time: "Movies tell us that only beautiful people have youth." But I think the imagination of youth will always belong to everyone, and no one can deprive it.

I am reminded of Boys' Day again. On the way, I met three or two girls and said with a smile, "Hurry up and find a male ticket. It would be nice to have a male ticket. " "What are you thinking? Boyfriends can cure all diseases, right? " I was passing by, and I felt cute. I have heard a lot of similar teasing and said a lot.

After teasing, I began to get used to a new life alone. I used to like a person, but now I like a person. Busy. Sometimes, I don't have time to imagine what it would be like for two people to be together, but in a little spare time, my heart will occasionally ripple, causing some minor injuries and sighs.

two

It was in this state that I met Fortress Besieged.

In the process of reading, I heard some existing experiences, and some unexplored stories were slowly spread out, as if I had relived the voice and smile of my old friends and met a group of new friends in advance. I want to summarize the characters and emotional clues in the book with the following slightly playful description, although it may be superficial and irresponsible:

The hero of the novel is Fang Hung-chien. In my eyes, he is sandwiched between ordinary people and famous families, a pseudo-rich handsome guy returning from overseas, and also a "famous school diaosi". He lived a mediocre life, and the greatest feature of human nature is also the greatest weakness, that is, cowardice. His other qualities, such as simplicity and kindness, seem to be inseparable from the essence of cowardice and can be labeled as "cowardly simplicity" and "cowardly kindness" He likes to talk, shakes hands and is smart, and some of them are smart, but he has never practiced sleek and sophisticated life skills and is ignorant of the world. His chest is always full of tiny blood and heavy dignity, but he lacks the ability to defend this dignity.

Fortress Besieged tells the story of Fang Hung-chien, several girls and a good friend. When Hung-chien returned from studying abroad, he hooked up with Miss Bao (or each other) first, and then with Miss Su. Zhao's rival in love was angered because of Miss Su. Hung-chien was so busy avoiding Miss Su that he was forced to fight with his rival in love, but he fell in love with Miss Tang out of control, desperately trying to get married, and the result was a mess. When Hung-chien left his hometown, Zhao Fang was able to resolve the misunderstanding of rival in love, which eventually became a much-told story in gay friends. Hung-chien met his future wife, Miss Sun, during his trip. Everything in the middle is omitted. After marriage, Fang and Sun bickered and quarreled many times, and the novel drew a heavy and slightly ironic end in the fierce conflict between them.

The above omits a lot of situations and backgrounds, and people who haven't read the original work may feel a little abrupt. These four young ladies have different weights in the book and also represent different feelings:

Miss Bao is a romantic woman, and Hung-chien's relationship with her is only based on youth.

Miss Su is a female doctor with a strong desire for control. What she hopes is that all the excellent men in the world will be fooled. For Hung-chien, this relationship is the trouble of being chased down. All he can think about is how to escape without losing face.

Miss Tang is a spiritual girl and Hung-chien's dream lover. In this fruitless relationship with Tang, perhaps Hung-chien can be described as: his eyes are shining, his head is hot, his heart is like a deer, his mouth is eloquent, and he is all thumbs. () He is cautious, restless and suspicious. Hung-chien, like an industrious and stupid spring silkworm, devoted himself to weaving a sweet and colorful love, and finally suffocated in the cocoon and pupa. Hung-chien gave full play to the imagination of male animals-the sadness of final separation was even conceived by himself. I prefer to call this relationship juvenile love, full of hormones and dreamy breath, hot and even a little reckless.

Miss Sun is an ordinary college student with independent spirit. Hung-chien may be budding, ambiguous and happy about her, but he is not as enthusiastic and firm as he was at the beginning. Finally, the two men came together with some confusion, which seemed to be based on the warmth that they didn't hate each other. Fortress Besieged seems to say that this is the real marriage. As for the bleak ending, it is also reasonable and has a deep sense of reality. Or at least some realistic possibility of realism.

three

I read all kinds of love from Fortress Besieged, and I also read my own view of love. Fang Hung-chien has many shadows of himself.

If you want to define yourself now, I think it should be the middle and late period of juvenile love:

I am not brave enough, or I still have concerns, but I have never taken that step;

I used to follow the impulse and express my ideas clumsily. After being rejected, I experienced sobriety, calmness, and even pretending to be calm. Finally, pretend to see through the world of mortals and conduct the so-called "strength analysis."

I once held the fantasy of chicken soup to "be a better self and wait for that person to appear around the corner inadvertently";

I often have self-doubt and self-distrust, worry that I am not good enough, and tell myself to always struggle and work hard with a mentality of unwillingness and even fear of mediocrity.

Later, I began to understand that being single has its own advantages. The life of two people may be warmer, but it is also more crowded. They need to learn to take care of each other and learn to tolerate each other. In a person's world, I can be free, more free and less bound and burdened.

I began to understand that I should be responsible for my own life, and I should also learn to respect myself, love myself, stand on my own feet, accept my happiness and unhappiness, and be kind to my emotions and personality. Even if there is only one person, I can live happily with myself, not to mention that I have never been alone.

After reading Fortress Besieged, I began to realize that there are no best and perfect people in love and marriage, only more suitable and considerate people. Even so, conflicts and contradictions are inevitable, and the maintenance of feelings requires tolerance, understanding and even patience. After all, which child has never seen his parents quarrel, but most of them are still in the same boat after quarreling all the way.

However, those long-lasting loves, which you love me and forget, are rare and almost non-existent, and may only live in soap operas and some girls' youthful imagination. Fortress Besieged tells me the gap between reality and imagination.

four

I think, about love, it finally boils down to the grand proposition "What kind of life do you want".

One person or two people may not be the key to the problem, the key is the state you want. What do I really want? To tell you the truth, I really haven't thought about it. But I still often envy some couples: when two people are together, they are still busy, have their own direction of struggle, encourage and support each other, and there are not only boredom and dog abuse in life, but also ideals and distance.

Let time pass again. I hope I can live a good life alone now, and I can get ready to meet her who may or may not appear. In the hurried years, I will never lose my ability to love and be loved.

It seems that the ending of this feeling can't escape the taste of chicken soup and fairy tales after all. After all, I have explained that I am only in the middle and late stage of teenage love, and medicine can't be stopped. The imagination of youth belongs to everyone, and I want to keep mine. The reality that Fortress Besieged taught me has to be experienced in my life.

Thanks to everyone who saw this. If you and I have similar expectations, then I would like to offer my most sincere blessing here: May you finally meet the joy of love that belongs to you.

I want to use this article to commemorate all my youth thoughts in the past 20 years.