The lines of Private and Zhao Weiguo's sketch of running for village head

Some of these actors' names have been changed! Look at it!

Appearance: (step, shoulder) "One, one, two, one, one, two, one" (Feng steps on Xuan's heel)

Xuan: Oh dear! Don't you have eyes?

Feng: (closing his eyes) Of course I don't have long eyes. I walk with my eyes closed.

Feng: Fellow villagers present, Yang Feng bowed to you. (Bowing)

Xuan: Grandparents are sitting here and wish you a happy Children's Day. (Salute)

Feng: After such cruel competition, only two people are left to be village heads. One is him (finger Wei Xuan).

Xuan: The other one is me. (patting the chest)

Feng: (almost fell, frowning at his face) What about me?

Xuan: Well, hey, why are there so many people on the stage (smirking)

Feng: (pretending to cry) Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo.

Chew, what's the big deal? I want to challenge you!

Feng: I have the qualifications to be a village head.

Xuan: I also have the qualifications to be a village head.

Feng: I'm strong (showing my muscles)

Xuan: I feel weak and nauseous (cough-)

Feng: I can eat 24 buns a day.

Xuan: My three meals a day add up to only half a bowl of porridge.

Feng: You can't be a village head on this question.

Xuan: You don't know. This is a good condition for being a village head. I won't abuse public funds to eat and drink like this. You look like a toad with a big belly and small eyes. At first glance, you are not a good person. Don't choose him. Look at a good man like me, so pleasing to the eye from head to toe.

Feng: Don't be proud. I have people to support me. Just say that I passed by the market today and all the girls who bought sweet potatoes waved to me. (imitating female voice) Yang Feng Yang Feng, you are so handsome. We love you as the village head. (Blows a kiss) Come and buy sweet potatoes.

Xuan: What's the big deal? I'm more interested than you. Just now, when I came in, an old lady in her seventies grabbed me and said, (imitating grandma's voice) Haha Wei Xuan, if you become the village head this time, I will marry you.

Feng: I have an ideal of being a village head. I want to lead the whole village to get rich and develop industries.

Xuan: I want to develop high-tech agriculture.

Feng: I want to drill oil in the stone.

Xuan: I want the shark fin on the back of carp.

Feng: I think-

Xuan: I want bird's nest on the apple tree.

Feng: I think-

Xuan: I want to transfer your gene to the hen, so that she will brag when she is born.

Feng: How can I brag?

Xuan: You are bragging. Hens with your genes will cackle-look, look, I laid a preserved egg for Yang Feng!

Feng: Scare! (I am so angry that my mouth is crooked that I straighten it with my hand) Chew, you are talking nonsense. There are hens that can lay preserved eggs. Although it is meaningless for you to bicker here, I have made practical efforts. (whispering in Xuan's ear) Last night, I sent two or three thousand yuan to every household. Haha, what about you?

Xuan: I didn't send any money. I am so poor now. Every household owes 20,000 to 30,000 yuan. If I can't be the village head this time, I won't pay it back.

Feng: Ah! You mean if people don't choose you, you won't pay back the money, (pointing to Xuan's face) you bad guy, huh?

Xuan: You are so generous. Why don't you wait until I become the governor before becoming the village head?

Feng: Wow, you want to be a governor!

Xuan: Yes, Napoleon was right. A village head who doesn't want to be a governor is not a good village head.

Feng: Did Napoleon say that?

Xuan: Yes, Napoleon said that. I met him today. He came up to me when he was eating powder at the entrance of the village in the morning and said, Congratulations, Brother Xuan, you are going to be the village head. After that, you can be the mayor, and after that, you can be the governor! I also invited him to eat a bowl of powder!

Feng: I'm shocked. Which Napoleon? Didn't Napoleon die the most? You-you hit a ghost-

Xuan: No, he is the man who works in the motorcycle shop opposite. He has a broken wheel in his hand and has been repairing it all the year round.

Feng, scared, I thought it was Napoleon, the British general, but it turned out to be the opposite fool, haha-stop listening to his nonsense, come and support me and sing with me: Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, Yang Feng will win! Yang Summit won! (leading applause) Thank you (bowing)

Xuan: (grasping hands and looking at Yang Feng coldly) Thank you for applauding Yang Feng's poor, sympathetic and sparse salad.

Feng: It's better than not having you.

Xuan: Who said that? Listen carefully.

Hey, everybody, clap your hands with me: If you support Wei Xuan, please clap your hands. If you support Wei Xuan, please applaud. If you support Wei Xuan instead of Yang Feng, please come and clap your hands together. Haha (smug) Look, how neat and beautiful!

Feng: Everybody join me in shouting the slogan: Yang Feng will win! Yang Summit won!

Xuan: Yang Feng will fail! Yang Summit failed!

Feng: Zhou will fail! Zhou will fail!

Xuan: Yang Feng will fail! Yang Summit failed! (At the same time as above)

Ting: Don't run-

Feng Xuan: No! Run! (running around)

Ting: (Catch up, catch two people and pull them to the front of the stage) You're not afraid, are you? These two patients ran out of our mental hospital. They have been looking for them for three days and nights, but they still come.

Attention! Turn right! shoulder/pectoral girdle

Feng Xuan: 1 12 1, 12 1 (talking while walking)

Feng: (whispering to the audience while walking) I will be discharged from the hospital in two days. Please remember to support me.

Xuan: (whispering to the audience while walking) Vote for me. Remember to vote for me! I will leave the hospital tomorrow.

(to Feng) Hey, let's go somewhere else.

Feng: Right, right!