Joke Collection Website - News headlines - There is a new recruit named Shunliu
There is a new recruit named Shunliu
Some time ago, there was a TV series called "My Brother's Name is Shunliu", which was very popular in the military camp. Coincidentally, there is a new recruit in a certain hero group, who is just like the "Shun Liu" in the TV series. He is honest and honest, so everyone also calls him "Shun Liu".
Recently, Shunliu was selected and participated in the scout selection training. Company Commander Liu from the training base said that this training was "selecting the best from the best" and only one person from each class could enter the military area reconnaissance commando team. Although Shunliu usually keeps quiet, he is more motivated than anyone else. He had long made up his mind to get the only spot in the class. However, among those who can be selected, who doesn’t have two skills? What's more, there is a college soldier in Shunliu's class, nicknamed Li Datou. He is highly educated and flexible, and he has the highest voice in the class.
On this day, Company Commander Liu took Shunliu's entire class to the back hill of the training base for infantry fighting vehicle training. It's the dog days of summer right now, and the training ground is surrounded by mountains and looks like a steamer. Everyone sitting in the infantry tank was like taking a sauna. As soon as Company Commander Liu had arranged everything, he received a call and had to leave for a while. Before leaving, he invited everyone to come to his place after training and eat dumplings made by his wife. Everyone was very happy after hearing this. The five-spice dumplings made by my sister-in-law are famously delicious in Quanlian.
With the motivation, everyone immediately devoted themselves to training with full energy, but only ten minutes after sitting in the chariot, they were all very hot. At this time, Li Datou came forward. He took the lead in taking off his coat. When everyone saw it, they all took off their coats too. In the end, only Shunliu was left, neatly dressed and sitting there, unmoved.
When Li Datou saw it, he pulled Shunliu and said: "Hey, Shunliu, look how hot you are? Take it off quickly." But Shunliu turned away and answered seriously He said: "There are requirements in the training syllabus. We must be fully armed!" Li Datou felt bored and had to say: "You are the only one who can do it. Are we all cowards?" The other comrades also shook their heads, feeling that Shunliu is a bit unsociable.
But on such a hot day, even if everyone took off their coats, they were still out of breath. At this time, Li Datou spoke again: "I think, Company Commander Liu is not here anyway, let's just go outside the car to cool off!" After saying that, he jumped out of the car first. Everyone, look at me and I look at you. They didn’t dare to move at first, but they didn’t last long and everyone got out of the car. What about Shunliu? Still wearing his coat, he sat motionless in the car.
Everyone saw each other and took turns mobilizing Shunliu in the car: "Hey, buddy, come out." Shunliu said solemnly: "The company commander said that training should be the same whether the leader is present or not. !" When everyone heard this, they immediately couldn't get off the stage and said, "Don't use the company commander to pressure us, you are so serious!"
Li Datou's mind was really sharp. At this time, he spoke again: " Don't look at this guy Shunliu, but he also reminded us. If it wasn't hot today, none of us would want to do this. But we can't let the company commander find out. Now, everyone has to take turns lying in the grass on the mountain. , Once you find Company Commander Liu coming this way, quickly get dressed and get into the chariot!" After hearing this, everyone nodded in agreement and said that Li Datou was thoughtful.
Seeing that two hours had passed, everyone was chatting and laughing outside the car, so happy. Suddenly, the soldier in charge of the investigation shouted in a low voice: "Company Commander Liu is here!" Then he shrunk his head and ran down the grass on the top of the hill.
Everyone quickly got into the car, put on their clothes, and sat back down. Suddenly, Li Datou looked at Shunliu and thought of something again. He whispered: "I said you are just stupid. You see that Shunliu is covered in sweat and his clothes are soaked. Aren't we doing this to ourselves?" After saying this, , he unscrewed the military kettle next to him and poured water on himself. Suddenly, he was completely wet from his back to his vagina. Everyone also followed suit.
In the end, Li Datou smiled and stuffed Shunliu with a pack of cigarettes and said, "Brother, you can't tell anyone what happened today.
Shunliu blocked the cigarette and said, "Shunliu has never done anything like snitching since I was a child!" "
At this time, Company Commander Liu came back. When he saw that everyone was practicing hard and their clothes were so wet, they looked like they had just been fished out of the river. He said happily: "As expected of me, I brought them out. The soldiers are all good! Now everyone calls it a day and goes back to eat dumplings. "
When we arrived at the camp, my sister-in-law said to Company Commander Liu, "Look how wet their clothes are. Tell them to change them quickly and I'll wash them." "At first everyone was embarrassed, but Company Commander Liu also gave the order: "Listen to your sister-in-law! "Everyone obediently handed in all the dirty clothes.
Within two days, Captain Liu came to Shunliu's dormitory with the washed clothes, threw them on the bed, and said, "I'll give them all to you. Washed. But he pulled one out and asked, "Whose is this?" Why is there still a hole! When Shun Liu saw it, he blushed and raised his hand and said, "Report to the company commander, it's mine. It was accidentally scratched during training the day before yesterday." "Liu Company Commander warned: "Military uniform represents the image of a soldier, please pay more attention to it in the future. This time, your sister-in-law fixed it for you. Shunliu took it over gratefully and thanked her repeatedly: "Sister-in-law is so kind. This dress is sewed better than what my mother sewed for me at home!" ”
At the weekend, Shunliu, in order to express his gratitude, bought some fruit to the family team and gave it to his sister-in-law. After he returned to the dormitory, everyone heard that he had gone to Liu Lianchang’s house, and they all expressed their gratitude to him. Shunliu took the initiative to talk to him, and his comrades ignored him, especially Li Datou, who showed disdain when he saw him.
Just when Shunliu was puzzled, a fellow man was mysterious. He told him politely: "Do the people in your class have any objections to you? Shunliu was surprised: "What are your opinions?" The fellow said: "I heard Li Datou say secretly that you have a plan." He also said that you tore your clothes on purpose, and I was sure that your sister-in-law would mend them for you, so that you would have a reason to come and thank you. When you go back and forth, isn’t there emotion? Everyone says you are so wise and foolish. ”
Shunliu shouted that she was wronged, turned around and left: “No, I have to argue with them!” But a fellow villager grabbed him and said, "Shunliu, I'm kindly telling you, don't betray me!" "Shunliu thought about it and realized what the fellow said made sense, so he lowered his head and squatted on the ground, not knowing what to do.
Two days later, the training base announced the list of personnel selected for the reconnaissance commando team. Shunliu's list He was famous. But he couldn't be happy because everyone was a little angry when they saw him.
On the afternoon when everyone was packing their things in the dormitory and preparing to go back to the old company, Shunliu came. The atmosphere in the dormitory was a bit stuffy. After a while, Li Datou finally spoke: "Brothers, I think this is too unfair. "Everyone raised their heads. Li Datou added: "Don't look at some people who are like boring gourds all day long. They look strangely honest, but they are very flirtatious. In order to win a spot, they actually learned to play the emotional card! "
At this time, one of Li Datou's buddies also helped: "That's right, I can guarantee that he must have reported the incident when we slipped out of the chariot that day! Shunliu knew that he was talking about himself, so he couldn't hold back his anger anymore: "I swear to God, I didn't report you!" "
Just as you, comrades, were looking at me and I was looking at you, not knowing who to believe, suddenly, a roar came from outside: "Stop fighting! "
It turned out that Company Commander Liu had been standing outside the door for a long time. At this time, he stared at Li Datou and the others with a solemn face and said, "You have all misunderstood Shunliu. I chose Shunliu, except for his good overall grades. In addition, the most important thing is that I value his honesty. Then, he explained, "Shunliu didn't tell me that you guys were lazy that day." "
Everyone looked at Company Commander Liu in confusion. Only Company Commander Liu continued to say: "It was your coats that gave you away." After you delivered the clothes that day, your sister-in-law had something to do and didn't wash them in time. By the time she came back, those wet clothes had already dried. I discovered at that time that only the torn clothes in Shunliu had salt stains left after the sweat dried, like a white "map". Based on my many years of experience in leading troops, I know that the 'sweat' on other people's bodies must have been manipulated.
Therefore, I specially found a soldier and asked about it, and he admitted it. "After hearing this, everyone lowered their heads and lost their temper.
Then, Company Commander Liu educated: "Today, I originally came to say goodbye to you, but unexpectedly, I taught you another lesson by the way. I just want to tell you a truth: to be a soldier, to be a good soldier, only one who is as honest as Shunliu can become a good soldier. You may not know that the team training slogans have been standing at the door of the reconnaissance commando team for many years, one of which is 'pragmatic'..."
Frog, calf, duck, parrot, fox, gray wolf, postgraduate entrance examination, fugitive, ancient Xuanwu Gate
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