Funny text message copy of shocking people

1. The patient who just woke up after surgery asked: What happened to me? Doctor: You were in a car accident and just had an operation. So I'm in the hospital? The patient said. Doctor: To be exact, most of you are in the hospital.

2. congratulations: the stock price fell, the cannon was ordered without the license, the mobile phone slipped into the sewer, and you had a stomachache and took the wrong medicine.

3. It's really cold these two days. You must take care of yourself, and don't freeze-as the saying goes, "People freeze their legs, pigs freeze their mouths". I've put on long pants, so buy a mask quickly!

4. pastor: which one of you happens to have a birthday today? Tom raised his hand with joy. Priest: Good. Please blow out these candles after the service!

5. a man was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a man rushing in, and it was suddenly stormy. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast. ""I envy you, I didn't take off my pants! "

6. A beautiful woman married an ugly man and complained when she was pregnant: If my child is like you, you really should be cursed. The husband replied: If my child is not like me, you should be cursed.

7. The blind man rides a bike with the lame. The lame man looks at the road and suddenly sees a deep ditch and exclaims: Gougougou! The blind man looked back and sang: Ole Ole Ole! So

they fell into the ditch!

8. Because of you, I believe in fate. Maybe it's all predestined, pulling us together. What I want to say now is-what sins did I commit in my last life?

9. A snail was traveling on the road. As a result, a turtle ran over him, and the snail was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. The police asked him about the situation at that time, and the snail replied, "I don't remember, his speed was too fast ..." 1. You slashed a pig with a knife that day. The pig escaped into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg for mercy from you: "We are born of the same root, so why should we eat each other?" "11. The ugly duckling is beside the bear. Lai toad married a swan, Wang

hatched a panda, the tigress gave birth to a white rabbit, and you learned to read short messages!

12. domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boar is born in the mountains, and stupid pigs are reading this message. If stupid pigs are laughing, fat pigs are angry, dead pigs are ignoring me, and even pigs are not as good as those who don't reply.

13. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep soundly ... I really envy you, alas, sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you!

14. The pig cried sadly, and his mother asked, What are you crying about? Pig said: I feel stupid. Mother comforted: don't cry, the person reading this message is more stupid than you.

15. that day, I quietly looked at your sexy body, twisted naked in front of me and gently stroked your skin. I couldn't resist your temptation and said, "boss, I want this fish." "

16. The ugly girl turned around and scared a cow to death; Ugly girl

When she turns around, the water in the Yellow River falls flows backwards; Ugly girl

After three turns, Tai Sen plays table tennis instead!

17. The sea. It's full of water! A fine horse, it has four legs. Pepper, it's really spicy! Little fool who reads short messages, it's grinning!

XVIII. When I was down and out, I was with you. When I was sick and injured, I was with you; When I'm frustrated in love, it's still you beside me ... It's bad luck to be with you.

XIX. Today's

Four sons: Laozi is idle but not idle, his wife has no right to win power, a COP travels thousands of miles without legs, and his son has no money to make big money.

Two

Ten.

One of the four great ideals

Four of my

Four great ideals: I have too much money to want, and I can hold different beautiful women; Play around the world, don't work but sleep.

21st. The bee and the spider are going to get married, but the bee is reluctant to say to her mother: I have always loved flies. Mom said: Fool, although flies are handsome, they pick up shit after all. Although spiders are ugly, they are engaged in the internet!

22. Walking alone in the cold street in the middle of the night, I feel lonely and helpless, always thinking of you, thinking of you, looking forward to you, and really want to say loudly to you ... Will you invite me to dinner?

23. You are dancing gently on a lotus leaf. Your graceful posture charms everyone who sees you, and one of the poets exclaims, My God! Pig leaves! Another poet shook his head and said, no, it's a mule looking for a lotus root!

24. One day, a tiger chased a crab. After chasing the crab, it disappeared. The tiger turned around and found a spider in the tree. The tiger smiled and said, Don't think I don't know you because you are online!

25. Your hair is the Milky Way in the sky. Your eyes are the moon in the sky, and your face should be the clear night sky, because your youthful slogans are all over the sky, and there are so many pimples!

XXVI. History teacher: Why did you leave early? A Dai: I have an important appointment. History teacher: Is history important or girlfriend important? A Dai: If I am late again, she will become history.

XXVII. I've traveled from south to north. I've been on a ship and waded in water. I've seen people who were sentenced and tied up. I've seen people who were slapped with guns. I've never seen anyone like you.

28. A colleague from the hospital called Dr. Wu's house:

Three are short of one. Come on! Madam: What's the hospital doing so late? Dr. Wu: Yes, it's a very critical case. There are already

three doctors waiting!

XXIX. Part One: Fake cigarettes, fake wine and fake friends; Bottom line: false feelings, false feelings and false gentleness. Horizontal batch: money is real.

Three

Ten. Piggy is amazing. Every day, he sleeps until

1 o'clock, and every five bowls are bottomed out. No one dares to compare the weight. Where is the pig? I'm snickering and reading text messages.