Give me 10 jokes.

1.=====================================

Jack galloped down the street on his bicycle, and people in the past made way.

The policeman stopped him and asked, "Why are you riding so fast?"

Jack replied, "I'm sorry, my brakes are broken, so I want to ride back and fix them as soon as possible to avoid accidents."

2.=====================================

A man suspected that his wife was mentally ill and asked the doctor: She was always worried that her clothes would be stolen.

Doctor: What evidence is there? A: Once I came home early and found that she hired someone to look at the clothes in her closet.

3.=====================================

In the morning, Tang Priest woke up and saw Wukong suddenly die on the ground. Friar Sand sobbed, "How did Wukong die!" Pig cried, "Master, you talked in your sleep last night and recited spells all night. . . "

4.=====================================

Students went to a big company for an interview, two people were admitted and fifty or sixty people signed up. The exam question is: let the examiner remember himself in the shortest time. My classmate gave the examiner a mouth without saying a word, and then turned and ran away. Tell him to go to work the next day.

5.=====================================

A: I fell in love with her at first sight and intuitively knew that there must be some mysterious fate between us.

Really? Did you talk to her?

A: Of course, I chased it very hard. At the last minute, I told her with my killer that my father was a millionaire.

Wow, then you must live happily ever after.

Yes, we live together. She is my stepmother now.

6.=====================================

One day, two children went to the grocery store to buy things. When they came in, they saw the boss sleeping, so they woke him up. The boss got up reluctantly and asked, "What do the children want?" The first child said, "I want a pack of instant noodles." The boss looked up at the instant noodles on the top shelf and reluctantly brought the ladder. He just wanted to send the two kids away quickly and then go to bed. Just as he was about to climb up to get instant noodles, the boss wisely asked the second child, "Do you want a pack of instant noodles, too?" The child replied, "No". The boss took a bag of instant noodles and asked the second child, "What do you want now?" The child said, "I want two packs of instant noodles."

7.=====================================

I quit smoking and I still have a whole piece of Chinese at home. Who will get it? Two men: I have given up drinking, and there are still some bottles of Maotai. Who wants to buy it? The three men made an excited expression and asked, do you have abstinence?

8.=====================================

Alcoholics applied for a job in a wine company and tasted more than a dozen wines. The drunkards all told the year and degree of the wine, and the examiners were shocked. The manager winked at the female secretary, who handed her a cup of urine. After drinking, the drunkard said: female, 23 years old, pregnant for 2 months! Suddenly the whole audience was silent. The drunkard thought that the application failed and said angrily, if you don't give me this job, I will tell the father of the child! Several leaders present said in unison, "You have been admitted.

9.=====================================

A fat man came in and claimed to have lost 20 pounds in three days.

Otherwise, the slimming organization that refunded the money, after asking about the content of the guarantee,

The fat man signed the contract,

And make an appointment to start the weight loss course the next day. The next day, the beautiful staff took the fat man to a big room.

There was a naked woman with a sign around her neck:

Catch me and hit me three times! At present, of course, fat people are chasing beautiful women all the way around the house.

After running for a long time, I finally caught my black hair and played it smoothly for three times. No. 1

God, he lost 4 kilograms! The next day, the beautiful staff led the fat man to another bigger room.

There was a naked blonde with a sign around her neck:

Hit me five times! With yesterday's pleasant experience, the fat man naturally worked harder to catch up.

After a chase, he successfully played five times. The next day, he lost 6 again.

Kilogram! On the third day, the fat man thought:

No matter how attractive today's beauty is, I just won't run away until you get your money back.

Hey, hey, hey ... The beautiful staff took him to a small room today.

The fat man is wondering how to turn it into a small room.

I saw a female orangutan in the room with a sign around her neck:

I caught you playing 10 times! ! ! !

10.=====================================

Mother and daughter go swimming in the swimming pool. When their daughter dived, her bathing suit accidentally broke. Mother quickly picked up the placard by the pool and covered it with her daughter. People couldn't help laughing after reading the placard. The placard reads: Dangerous, 2m deep, used by skilled personnel. Mom quickly adjusted the placard. This time, people laughed even harder. It says on the back: Men only, please take off your clothes before entering. The embarrassed mother took another look at the placard, which read: Adult 30 yuan, Children 10 yuan, half price for more than 20 people. So I changed it immediately and almost fainted after reading it. The placard says: Business hours are 9: 00 am-65438+00 pm. Looking at the people who laughed almost out of breath, my mother's only hope was pinned on the last placard, but when she saw the placard, she really fainted. The placard reads: This is the use area of * * *, please keep it clean for the health of others.