Who can tell me many jokes (at least 30) and I can give high marks as soon as possible?

Gabby: Miss. .......

why

Leave me alone.

Are you out of your mind? Who cares about you?

Do you really ignore me?

MM: Ignore it.

GG: Really ignore it?

What the hell are you doing?

I want you to promise me one thing.

What is this?

Leave me alone?

I ignored you.

You are such a bitch. I told you to leave me alone, and you tried to leave me alone again and again? If you want to talk to me, just say so. I hate people beating around the bush.

Hmm: ... When did I say that?

Didn't you say that?

MM: Of course not.

Gabby: Oh. Sorry, I made a mistake. I thought you were my boyfriend.

Boyfriend? Are you a man or a woman?

A man. How come? You want to fuck me again?

Oh, my god Are you gay?

No, I just want to have sex with women.

What did you just say about your boyfriend?

Gabby: What?

It's nothing.

Leave me alone.

MM； I ignored you.

...... (5 minutes later) .....

You just want to have sex with me?

Why did you come again?

Why are you here again? Always thought of you as my boyfriend.

You are driving me crazy.

GG: Look, you still want to have sex with me and expect to be driven crazy by me.

Mm: 555555555, mom. I will never surf the internet again.

Gabby: OK. Let's have sex in the future.

Um: ... 55555

19.

Gabby: Hello.

Hello.

I am a soldier.

What does this have to do with me?

You're not interested?

not have

I am a businessman.

MM: please.

GG: Still not interested?

not have

I am a handsome boy.

Get out.

GG: Not interested?

not have

Are you sure you won't come with me?

not have

Gabby: Thank you. You name the place.

MM:？ What position?

GG: * * Location.

MM: When did I tell you * *?

I use a question to ask if you agree with me. If you answer no, it means yes. It means you want to. Don't admit it yet.

No, no, no, not at all.

You farted.

MM: No.

You can't stop. No, no, not necessarily indigestion. Need to be adjusted.

Are you hungry?

I really want to be with you.

MM: But I don't want to.

Do you like women? ]

I won't.

Gabby: Then I'm normal. Why not think about it?

MM: Not now.

Gabby: OK. Let me know when you want it. You are always welcome.

MM: You ... don't always think about it.

I don't want to be with you, after making love.

Hmm: ... vague

20.

Gabby: Hello. Can I ask you a question?

MM: What's the problem?

Can you say it?

MM:SY？ What?

Gabby: Hands *.

No. Why do you ask such a boring question?

Gabby: Then you must do it often. So you can't do it.

Nonsense. I am still * *.

I am a virgin, too.

MM: haha. Is it? Don't believe it.

GG: Really. I am afraid of pain, so I have been afraid to do it.

MM: haha. Are you afraid of pain? All I know is that women are afraid of pain for the first time.

Gabby: It will bleed. ......

MM: It must be a woman. What kind of blood are you bleeding?

Gabby: No?

MM: Of course not. You are so stupid.

Gabby: Oh. Then I'm relieved. I can have sex with my boyfriend.

MM: You are ... dizzy!

2 1.

Hi, see you again. Do you still remember me

Who are you?

That was a few days ago.

What day? What day?

The one in bed yesterday.

MM: Which one was on the left and right of the bed yesterday?

GG: 5555555 ... Why don't you remember the following?

There is a dog here.

GG: ... That's me under the dog. .....

MM: Then you can find it. ...

Sorry, I thought you were the dog. :)

22.

Do you have a needle?

MM: No.

Do you have any matches?

MM: No.

Gabby: Got a cigarette?

MM: No.

Do you have ham sausage?

MM: No.

Do you have any cucumbers?

MM: No.

Where is the flashlight?

MM: No.

GG: Rolling pin?

MM: No.

Gabby: No way. Do you want it to be thicker?

MM: No matter how thick it is?

Don't you * *?

There is no time. I take guests when I have time.

GG: There must be a vacuum cleaner, right?

We don't have carpets there. No need.

GG: Suck under you. I know how to use it. I don't know about maintenance.

MM: There is a doctor's check-up every week, free of charge.

So is your client, right?

My husband.

GG: ......

23.

What sign are you in?

MM:* .

Gabby: What does it belong to?

MM: Chicken.

Gabby: What occupation?

MM: Sit on the stage.

Do you have any hobbies?

Mm: * * OK.

GG: What is the happiest thing?

I'm covered.

GG: What is the saddest thing?

MM: The guest is * *.

If I call you, Is there a discount?

MM: Buy one and get one free.

GG: Do it once and send it once?

Do it once and get a condom for free.

Gabby: How much is it once?

MM: Charge by age.

Gabby: How?

Mm: 5- 15, closed 100. 16-25, received 150. 26-35, 200.36-55, charge 300. More than 60, calculated according to the package night.

Why do you get older?

MM: The older you get, the longer it takes.

GG: How do you judge your age?

MM: The bigger the tree, the thicker its diameter.

GG: ... Is that reasonable? ... cold!

24.

I wish I were a woman now.

MM: Why?

Gabby: You can be a man.

MM: What are the advantages of being a vase?

Gabby: You don't want to?

MM: No.

GG: You are really a rare girl in society.

MM: That's right. I just meet guests at home and never go out to stand in the street.

GG: ... dizzy.

25.

Who are you?

Your girlfriend. Forgot?

Gabby: No way. I only have a boyfriend.

MM: How?

GG: This is MM speaking.

No Aren't you XXX

No, he is my husband.

Mm: 55555555, I was cheated by him. It turns out that he has a family.

GG: Don't be sad. I was cheated by him before I became his wife.

I'm pregnant with his baby. What should I do?

His daughters are all pregnant with his children. How do my daughter and I behave?

He is really an animal. I want him to be in charge.

Gabby: Of course. But you have to wait in line for a long time to get the list.

What list?

GG: Find the list he is in charge of.

MM: Is it that exaggerated? He's really not human.

GG: Yes, I remember that after I went to the zoo last time, all the giraffes there were pregnant. I haven't got the list yet.

What? There are all such lies. You are XXX, right?

I am his wife. But I will wait for him to admit that I am his wife and wait for him to finish two weddings. Until I was divorced twice.

No So serious?

Gabby: Yes. So I advise you to solve it yourself.

Millimeter: 555555555 ....................................................................................................................................................................

(GG: What a big breath! Women nowadays are so difficult! ) .....

26.

Gabby: Hello. Abbr millimeter

What is this?

I want to discuss something with you.

What is this?

GG: I am lovelorn. Want to get out as soon as possible. Can you help me?

Oh, poor thing. But I can't help you You can tell me, and then I will comfort you.

GG: Hey, that's what my girlfriend said. But she comforted me and then ignored me.

MM: Did she talk to you after comforting you? Do you often fall in love?

Gabby: Yes. I want to find a new girlfriend to comfort me every time I fall in love.

MM: oh. Then you have the wrong person. I have a boyfriend. I can't comfort you.

Gabby: No way. You just said you wanted to comfort me. Why have you changed your mind now?

Hmm: ... hmm. I have a boyfriend. Inconvenient.

So you should comfort me at your convenience?

Hmm: ... hmm. . All right. Yes, you can.

Gabby: Then I'll wait for you in the bathroom.

What are you doing there?

I will wait for your comfort at your convenience.

Go to hell.

Aren't you * * when I die?

Hmm: ... you are so dirty!

Gabby: I've started flowing downwards.

You are too yellow.

I am yellow.

I won't talk to you. You rascal.

GG: ... I just want to do the most basic things with you. But you haven't even thought about the basic requirements of being a man. Hey, you're an animal.

Um: ... 5555555

27.

Do you want to have sex with me?

MM: No.

Then why did you send me a yellow photo? Seduce me?

I'm just sending you my photos. Not yellow?

Your face is showing. Isn't it yellow?

MM: Joke, how can there be a photo that doesn't show your face?

But you, but you still smile with your mouth open. ......

You are so boring. What should I do if I don't smile when I take pictures?

Because I saw your mouth. So I think you want to have sex with me.

You want to have sex with me when you see my mouth?

Gabby: Yes.

MM: Is my mouth ... really that sexy?

Gabby: Yes. I'd like to interject.

Hmm: ... vague ......

28.

Let's go to play together this weekend.

MM: What to play?

Gabby: The eagle catches the chicken.

MM: It's so childish.

GG: Not naive. You are an eagle. I'll take out the chicken and catch it for you.

Do you have any more chickens?

I have one on me. I carry it with me every day.

Hmm: ... just the one below you? .....

Gabby: Yes. . Haven't you seen it?

Um: ... hey! Wait until it's as big as an eagle.

GG: If you play, it will become bigger than an ostrich.

MM: Ostriches always bury their heads. useless

Hey, don't keep hitting me like that. ......

29.

GG: I'm depressed recently.

What's the matter with you?

I overstepped my authority Very distressed.

Well, you can't get rid of your bad habits.

Gabby: The doctor said no problem. It's just more often.

MM: haven't you ... have any women been with you recently?

not have ..

Do you really want to do it?

I'd love to. Almost every day.

Hey. Look at you so pitiful. Let me help you. Make you feel less painful.

Really?

MM: Really. I want it, too. .....

You want to help me? You're amazing. If you help me, I can hold the magazine in my hand and look at the beautiful women on it.

Hmm: ... Ah, so ... Oh!

30.

Gabby: Hello.

Hello.

GG: ... Hey!

MM: How to sigh?

what can I say? ...

MM: Go ahead. What's bothering you?

I fell in love with a woman. ......

MM: This should be a good thing. Sad about what?

GG: But this MM has a boyfriend.

MM: oh. A little sad.

GG: There is no need to be sad. But her boyfriend fell in love with me. ......

Hmm? How did this happen? This is a very sad thing.

GG: No, but this MM's boyfriend has another boyfriend.

Hmm: ... what a mess. It's really sad

GG: But, but her boyfriend's boyfriend also fell in love with me. .....

MM: That's enough, that's enough. . . It's too complicated. You're pathetic. That's really a very sad thing. I sympathize with you.

Gabby: That's not sad. The saddest thing is. ......

MM: Isn't that sad? Then what are you sad about?

GG； The saddest thing is ... I fell in love with you, too.

Hmm: ... Are you kidding?

No, I just made up a story to say I love you.

Hmm: ... you are so cunning, hehe.

GG: ... Let's get a room.

What? I never said I wanted to be your girlfriend.

GG: Girlfriend? Aren't you a man?

Hmm: ... dizzy. I am a woman. .....

Gabby: Hey, this really makes me sad. ......

Hmm: ... 555555555555, damn it! .......

3 1.

Gabby: Be good.

Who are you?

Gabby: Yesterday we just, uh. ...

Which one is that?

Gabby: That's it. .......................................................................................................................................................................

Shit! Are you full? ! I don't know you!

GG: 555 .........................................................................................................................................................................

Get out! Damn it, if I had known, I wouldn't have gone to the Internet cafe to steal Q. ..............

Oh, so you stole my Q! Go to hell!

The sweetest 7 sentences for boys chasing their girlfriends.

Boy: May I ask you the way?

Girl: Where to?

Boy: To your heart.

Boy: Your legs must be very tired, right? !

Girl: Why?

Boy: Because you've been running around in my head all day.

Boy: Look at the label of her shirt.

Girl: What are you doing?

Boy: Oh, I wonder if you are made in heaven.

Boy: I had a bad day. Seeing beautiful girls will make me feel better. Can you smile for me?

Boy: Sorry. I am an artist. Staring at beautiful women is my job.

Boy: Can I borrow your mobile phone?

Girl: What?

Boy: I'm going to call my mother and tell her that I have seen a peerless beauty and that her daughter-in-law has fallen.

Boy: It's raining heavily today.

Girl: Yes.

Boy: That's because God is drooling over you.

Boy: Believe me, I will make you the second happiest person in the world.

Girl: Why not be the first?

Boy: With you … I am the happiest person in the world.

1+ 1=?

One day, Xiaoming's teacher asked him, "What is 1+ 1?" Nickname said: I don't know. So the teacher asked him to go home and ask his parents.

Xiao Ming came home and asked his mother that she was putting on makeup. He said, "Oh, it's beautiful today!" Xiaoming went to ask his father who was reading a newspaper. He said, "President Bush said so." Then Xiao Ming went to ask his brother who was watching the football match and said, "Good shot!" Finally, Xiao Ming asked his sister again. His sister is calling her friend and saying, "Oh, Lili, I don't have time today! Next time! "

The next day, the teacher asked the nickname: "1+ 1=?" The nickname said, "Oh, it's beautiful today!" The teacher said, "Who told you that?" The nickname added, "Bush of the United States said it." The teacher kicked the nickname angrily. The nickname added "Good shot!" The teacher said, "Come to my office after school this afternoon!" " The nickname said, "Lily, I'm not free today! Next time! "

1. Pay in line in front of the supermarket cashier. Seeing how fast the cashier moved when she typed the order, I was dazzled and couldn't help muttering, "You moved so fast that I didn't see how much you charged."

The cashier smiled and said to him, "I think of you." Payment is like an injection. The faster you move, the less you will feel pain. "

2. Gangsters get together, clench their fists, and call Boss Zhao Ping according to Jianghu rules.

-Don't call me Brother Ping. Flat chest is my wife. Call me brother ping.

3. Some friends like fishing very much. They go to the reservoir by a small yacht. The boat is well done, let's work together; Captain, first mate, helmsman, etc. Are available; Finally, a fat man with no position appeared; But his role is great, because without him on board, the ship will not be stable; So there is a most NB title: pressing the boat!

I have caught a cold these days. I went to take the bus in the morning, but I couldn't help sneezing ... I just heard a woman say, "Honey, I heard that swine flu is very popular recently." What if I am infected? "

I only heard the strong man next to me say coldly, "What is this? You are not afraid of people, but also of a stream? "

5. Tang Priest: Empress, you teased the poor monk with another woman's id online, and the poor monk took the bait. What does this mean? Explain that the poor monk is a playboy? No, it shows that even if you change your name, the poor monk will definitely fall in love with you. No matter when, where and in what way, poor monks will recognize you in the vast sea of people and fall in love with you, and will never let you go!

A man knocked down a strange old man on a motorcycle in downtown!

That man was scared out of his wits! More and more people are watching!

Suddenly, the man hugged the old man and cried in tears: "Dad, wait for me, I'll find a doctor for you!" " "

After that, he ran away . .

The old man struggled and shouted angrily, "Come back here!" "

Everyone expressed their feelings: "This son is really filial!"

The manager of the company asked people to hang the slogan "Do it at once if you want" on the wall, hoping to inspire employees!

After a while, a friend of the boss asked him how effective this measure was.

The boss said angrily: "The cashier ran away with 654.38+ 10,000 yuan, and the office director eloped with my female secretary, and dozens of employees asked for a raise together!"

A child stood by the blacksmith's shop and watched the blacksmith strike while the iron was hot! The blacksmith hated her a little, so he took out the red-hot iron and put it in front of the child to scare him!

The child winked and said, "If you give me a dollar, I will lick it!" " "

Hearing this, the blacksmith immediately took out a dollar and gave it to the little girl!

The child took the money, licked it with his tongue, put it in his pocket and left. ...

An old couple born on the same day of the same year ushered in their 60th birthday!

During the dinner, god came and said that he could satisfy the two wishes of husband and wife!

The old woman said, "My dream is to travel around the world."

God waved his wand, wow! Dig out a pile of plane tickets.

The old man said, "I want to live with a woman 30 years younger than myself."

God waved his wand, wow! Turned the old man into 90 years old!

Xiao Qiang gave a speech at the rally, and the people below were all ears.

Xiao Qiang said, "I hate two kinds of people the most! One is racist, one is black and the third is illiterate! "

The people below were sweating like a pig. . .

One very cold winter, two beggars, an old man and a young man, went begging in the morning. They walked to the door of a restaurant and waited for the boss to throw leftovers.

Many things grind, and soon the boss came out with a bucket of leftovers. The little beggar hurried up to eat, while the old beggar stood still.

Because the weather is very cold and the meal is very cold, the little beggar wants to vomit after eating a few bites, so he vomits!

Then the old beggar rushed up and said, "I'm waiting for your spicy mouth."

There is a couple whose husband is very stingy!

One morning, the husband woke up to find his wife dead in bed.

He jumped up quickly, looked pale and stumbled down the stairs, shouting, "maid!" " Maid! "

The maid replied, "Sir! What is it? "

The husband shouted, "boiling an egg for breakfast is enough!" "

Introverted Xiao Zhang saw a beautiful woman in a bar.

After a long hesitation, he finally got up the courage, approached her and asked in a low voice, "Can I talk to you?"

Suddenly the woman shouted, "no, I won't sleep with you!" " "

The whole bar was staring at them. Embarrassed, Xiao Zhang blushed and didn't say anything, so he returned to his seat with great grievance.

After a while, the woman walked up to Xiao Zhang and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology." I just want to test people's reactions in embarrassing situations. "

This is, Xiao Zhang shouted loudly, "Do you want 200 yuan? Too expensive! "

A group of fireflies are flying in the air, and one of them doesn't shine!

The other asked him curiously, "Brother, why don't you shine?"

The firefly replied, "Hey, my buddy forgot to pay the electricity bill last month!" " "

Two beautiful women are discussing what cosmetics have the best whitening effect in the elevator.

At the same time, there was a black man beside him, listening silently.

Suddenly the black man said to the two beautiful women, "It's no use! I tried, it's useless! "