What can you do when you are bored?

It won’t be boring if you smile (*^__^*) On Monday, after Xiaoying handed in her homework, she was asked by the teacher to stand for punishment at noon and read 500 times: "I will not dare to make up lies in the future." Teacher". Why? Let’s take a look at how she wrote her essay:

Today is Sunday. We got up early and went to Taiping Mountain next to Ocean Park to pick fruits, because grandma and grandpa live in Taiping. Mountain.

After we arrived at the foot of Taiping Mountain, we took off our shoes and started climbing. We reached the top of the mountain in about 1 minute. The air on the top of the mountain is very good. Grandpa took us to his orchard. Wow... Grandpa's orchard is so big. There are many fruit trees planted, including watermelon trees, strawberry trees, and pineapple trees... Because I was too young to climb up, grandpa climbed up the watermelon tree, picked the biggest watermelon and threw it to my father. , Dad took it with one hand!

There are many fruits growing on the ground in the orchard, such as apples, pears, coconuts, etc. Grandpa picked some coconuts, peeled off the coconut skins with his hands, removed the seeds, and distributed them to everyone. Coconut is delicious! I ate more than twenty. My cousin also used coconuts to humiliate me, which hurt so much!

After the fruit dinner, we went to play in the Himalayas next to Taiping Mountain. We heard from the teacher that the Himalayas are the highest mountains in the world. Sure enough, the teacher didn't lie to us. My cousin and I climbed and climbed. It took about 2 minutes to reach the top of the mountain. I was so hot. Later, we still felt very hot, so we went to the top of the mountain to soak in the hot springs. What a cold hot spring. The Himalayas are such a great place.

Later, my cousin asked me if I had any money. He saw a McDonald’s near the top of the mountain. Damn cousin, you borrow money from me every time! While we were still shopping, we heard our mother calling us to go home from Taipingshan, so we had to leave reluctantly.

My father said that if I get the first place in this exam, he will take me to Tokyo, Beijing, and Nanjing this Sunday. I want to go to Xijing most because my cousin lives in Xijing. She said that the textbooks were actually a lie. There is a higher mountain in Xijing than the Himalayas. It takes about 3 minutes to climb. There is a big night market, a children's playground, and a clear stream on it. I must study hard and ask my dad to take me to these places.

Teacher’s comment:

The content is full of contradictions, extremely exaggerated, and incomprehensible. This is something I have never seen in my more than 20 years of teaching. Please pay attention next time.

"I Talk about the Post-90s"

Ninety-one, ninety-two, ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety Eight, ninety-nine, one hundred, one hundred and one, one hundred and two, one hundred and three, one hundred and four, one hundred and five, one hundred and six, one hundred and seven, one hundred and eight, one One hundred and nine, one hundred and ten, one hundred and eleven, one hundred and twelve, one hundred and thirteen, one hundred and fourteen, one hundred and fifteen, one hundred and sixteen, one hundred and seventeen , one hundred and eighteen, one hundred and nineteen, one hundred and twenty, one hundred and twenty-one, one hundred and twenty-two, one hundred and twenty-three, one hundred and twenty-four, one hundred and twenty-five, one hundred Twenty-six, one hundred and twenty-seven, one hundred and twenty-eight, one hundred and twenty-nine, one hundred and thirty, one hundred and thirty-one, one hundred and thirty-two, one hundred and thirty-three, one hundred and thirty-four , one hundred and thirty-five, one hundred and thirty-six, one hundred and thirty-seven, one hundred and thirty-eight, one hundred and thirty-nine, one hundred and forty, one hundred and forty-one, one hundred and forty-two, one hundred Forty-three, one hundred and forty-four, one hundred and forty-five, one hundred and forty-six, one hundred and forty-seven, one hundred and forty-eight, one hundred and forty-nine, one hundred fifty, one hundred and fifty-one , one hundred and fifty-two, one hundred and fifty-three, one hundred and fifty-four, one hundred and fifty-five, one hundred and fifty-six, one hundred and fifty-seven, one hundred and fifty-eight, one hundred and fifty-nine, one One hundred and sixty, one hundred and sixty-one, one hundred and sixty-two, one hundred and sixty-three, one hundred and sixty-four, one hundred and sixty-five, one hundred and sixty-six, one hundred and sixty-seven, one hundred and sixty Eight, one hundred and sixty-nine, one hundred and seventy, one hundred and seventy-one,... It's almost time. The bell is ringing. I have to go home for dinner. Teacher, if there is a chance, see you next year. Report | 2012-8-6 15:06 aeptewere | The seventh-class bus was overcrowded, and there was a woman standing at the door.

A GG squeezed from behind the bus to get off,

I told the woman, "Give me a moment and get out of the car," but the woman didn't move at all.

GG stepped on her when he squeezed past.

The woman turned out to be very powerful. She kept scolding, "You're a psycho! You're a psycho!~~" and she was so loud that the whole car looked at her.

GG remained silent. When he got off the car, he couldn't bear it any longer. He turned around and said to the woman, "Your repeater!"

The whole car burst into laughter~!

There were a few funny children behind, constantly accompanying the scene just now.

A said, "You are crazy, you!"... B said, "You are repeating the machine." "Yeah you"...

Everyone in the car burst into laughter~!

Later, a little girl also wanted to get off the car, so she squeezed past and timidly said, "Oh~ I~ If I think about it, I’m not crazy~! "

The whole car burst into laughter again~!

The woman did not speak, but a word came from the side: "Are you out of battery?"

The whole car burst into laughter~!

The young woman reported: "I put money in my bra and it was stolen by a handsome guy in the crowded subway..." The policeman wondered: "Such a sensitive place. Didn't you notice? The young woman blushed and replied, "Who would have thought that he was touching money?"

A woman said to her cheating husband: If you dare to divorce and marry that young goblin, I will marry the goblin’s father. From now on, your son will call you brother-in-law, and you have to call me mom! The husband fainted on the spot and behaved himself from then on...

My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and came home a beautiful woman a few days later! When he walked in, he said to his confused husband, "What? You don't recognize me anymore?" The husband was stunned for a moment, and then said in surprise: "Come in, my wife is not at home."

One day I suddenly discovered , I have an eldest aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt, a fifth aunt, but I don’t have a third aunt. So I asked my dad: Why don’t I have a third aunt? I also thought for a moment: Did my third aunt die when she was young? My dad said angrily: Your third aunt is your mother!

A girl met a gangster at night. The gangster asked fiercely: Stop! Why go? The girl didn't want to be robbed of her money, so she said pitifully: Go borrow money. The gangster still asked fiercely: What are you borrowing money for? The girl was afraid of being raped, so she said: She has a sexually transmitted disease and has no money to treat it. The gangster roared: Get out!

Mr. A found that there was often a text message from a stranger on his wife's mobile phone, and the content of each text message was the same: "Brother Zhao asked you to do something for me." One night at 10:30 , Mr. A captured his cheating wife and the man who was having an affair in one fell swoop, and cursed: Fuck, do you think I can’t understand that text message? Read it backwards and it’s “I’ll help you take off your bra at half past ten”!

The boy said to the girl: "I fell in love with you the first time I saw you!" The girl asked strangely: "When did you first see me?" The boy quickly explained: "It was the first day of school. I saw you came to school with your family, and the skirt you wore was so beautiful!!" The girl was furious: "I didn't wear a skirt that day, and the one wearing a skirt was my mother!"

< p> It is said that a thief broke into the bank and finally pried open the safe. He found that there was not a penny in it, but there were some jelly. The thief was puzzled, but he couldn't think of it in vain, so he put the jelly have eaten. The next day, Mr. Thief specially bought a newspaper to see how much impact he could have by stealing from the bank. Hey~ since it made the headlines: The only sperm bank in our city was stolen last night!

The dog proposed to the bear, and the bear said: "I don't want to marry you, I want to marry the cat." The dog asked puzzledly: "Why?" The bear said: "Marry the dog, and I will have children in the future. If I marry a cat, I will give birth to pandas!"

There were three children sitting in front of the clinic - an older boy, a younger boy, and a girl. The nurse asked: Children, where do you feel uncomfortable? Big Boy: I swallowed a glass ball. The nurse asked the other: What about you? Girl: That glass ball is mine. The nurse asked again: Where are you? Little boy: I’ll play next!

Somali pirates: "Three million US dollars, fixed price!" Chinese official: "Two million and a half million!" Pirates: "Do you think I'm stupid? I know you said two hundred and fifty is an insult!" Chinese official: "Three million is three million! But *** must write seven million!" The pirates burst into tears and stretched out their thumbs: "You are still ruthless in robbing money!!!"

A buddy. A new foreigner moved next door. One night the foreigner knocked on the door and asked for help, saying: "My TV is broken and I can't change the channel." The guy looked down at his watch and said calmly: "The national TV is at 7 p.m. It will be like this until half past seven.

"

The priest was playing golf and the nun was watching. The first shot missed. The priest cursed: "TMD, it missed!" "Hit again, the priest cursed again: "TMD, missed again!" The nun said, "God will punish you as a priest for swearing." "As soon as he finished speaking, a thunderbolt struck the nun to death. The priest was puzzled: Why was it me who cursed, and why did he strike the nun to death? At this time, the voice of God was heard from the sky: "TMD, I missed the target too. ! "

My 7-year-old niece insisted on taking a bath with me, a 20-year-old adult. While washing, she said, "Auntie, why are your breasts so small?" I sweated wildly: "Why is it so small? Why is it so small?" "My little niece gave me a pitiful look and comforted me: "It's okay, mine is very small~"

One day, my brother went to play basketball in the primary school affiliated to the Normal University and heard a lower-grade girl on the playground asking A junior boy: “Do you love me or not? The boy said helplessly: "My mother gave me 3 yuan a day, and you used two and a half yuan to buy snacks. Tell me whether I love you or not!" ! ! "

The old man divided his inheritance before he died. He said to his eldest son: "Your wife is about to give birth to a baby, so I will leave her bankbook to you." "I said to my second son: "You are going to get married soon, and I will leave the house to you." Finally, I said to my younger son: "I am most worried about you. I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I will leave my most precious inheritance to you." You. The younger son was secretly happy, and the old man said: "There are more than 300 young girls in my QQ account friend list, and the number is ******." ”

In the human body class at the Academy of Fine Arts, a girl angrily threw her pen on the ground while drawing, and scolded the male model: Now she is bigger and now smaller, why should she be allowed to draw anymore!

< p>A girl bought a designer bag after saving money, and excitedly told her companions: "Look at these two letters, LV!" Have you seen it?" The companion said: "Tsk, this is the pinyin? I learned it in elementary school, "Donkey"~

Every time my wife and husband quarrel, the wife will run to the toilet and stay there for a long time, This happened a lot, and the husband asked his wife out of curiosity: "What are you doing in the toilet?" It seems quite relieved? My wife said, "Brush the toilet!" My husband asked: "Can cleaning the toilet relieve anger?" The wife said: "I don't know, anyway, I use your toothbrush."

My son came home tremblingly: "Dad, I only got 60 points in today's exam." The father was very angry: "Next time you get a low grade in the exam, don't call me dad!" The next day his son came back: "I'm sorry, brother!"

A leader set the mistress's phone number in his hand to " "Mayor", every time the mistress called, my wife said: "Hurry! The mayor is calling!" After the leader answered the phone: The mayor asked me to come. Before leaving the house, his wife told him from behind: "Do it well!"

Xiao Li was going to immigrate to the United States, and his boss asked him: "Are you dissatisfied with your salary?" Xiao Li said: "Satisfied." "Are you dissatisfied with your housing?" "Satisfied" "Is it because you are dissatisfied with the Internet environment?" "Also satisfied" "Are you not satisfied with medical care or your children's schooling?" "Satisfied with them all!" "Since you are satisfied with everything, why do you want to immigrate? "Because there is dissatisfaction allowed there!"

Whose bodyguard is more loyal between the Chinese leader and the American leader? The American leader ordered the bodyguard to jump from the 10th floor, and the bodyguard knelt down and said, "Don't." This way, I still have a family.” So the President of the United States relented. The Chinese leader ordered the bodyguard to jump, but the Chinese bodyguard jumped without saying a word. The President of the United States was so frightened that he quickly grabbed him. The Chinese bodyguard said: "Don't be like this, I still have a family."

Quote: As soon as the director entered the office, the wife of the office director burst in, waving a pair of women's briefs and said to the director: "My husband I even wore women's underwear when I went home at night, you must take care of it." The director nodded yes and stuffed his briefs into his pocket. When I got home in the evening, the director's wife found the briefs in the director's pocket while doing laundry, and said to the director: "Don't joke like this in the future. People will have to look for it all day."

The male classmate went to a certain place on a business trip, and the female classmate went to see him. The two chatted about salary. The male classmate asked: "How much money do you have after tax?" The female classmate blushed and whispered: "Follow me. Why do you want me to pay for my old friend's sleep? You go to bed first and I'll take a shower." Someone asked the doctor: "Excuse me, doctor, how can I live to be 100 years old?" Doctor: "First, Quit drinking." Someone: "I never drink." Doctor: "Second, quit having sex." Someone: "I'm not attractive to women at all." Doctor: "Third, eat less meat.

” Someone: “I’m a vegetarian!” Doctor: "Then why do you live so long?" "

When I got on the plane, I saw a beautiful woman sitting in my seat. So I asked in a gentlemanly manner: Are you a 36A? My sister actually blushed and replied: I... I am a 36B. ... I am Genghis Khan: Sister... I think... I think you misunderstood, I mean my seat is 36A by the window!

Once I went to stay in a hotel, and I was confused at night, and suddenly, I heard someone knocking on the door to ask questions. Woman: Is there anything wrong? Woman: I want to ask the handsome guy, how do you write Kun in Kunming? Me: Oh, the one above is the same as the one below... .(sweat)! Female: How about we have sex? I’m not afraid of the lady, but I’m afraid that the lady will faint.

Men and women classics

1: Forum. Poster: Aren’t you women hot when you wear a bra in the summer? Forum reply: You will get hot if we don’t wear one...

2: Poster: I beat up my dog! It didn’t tell me about the earthquake! , usually screams so happily, but during the earthquake just now, he was sleeping in his nest as if nothing happened! Reply: Alas, they are not biological after all...

3: Host: My wife gave birth to a baby girl, she is very cute! , please help me give my daughter a powerful name. Reply: Chengji Sihan.

4: Poster: Give me a woman, and I can create a nation! Well, if I give you a sow, the price of meat will drop next year!

5: Poster: When I was in college, I skipped classes, failed classes, dumped people, got dumped, and got into fights! Demerits, demerits... Hey, I've done everything I can do ~ Reply: Have you ever died?

6: Poster: Please describe China's National Seismological Observatory in one sentence Reply: Hindsight. , like a pig beforehand!

7: Let’s tell a story that starts with KB, is funny in the middle, and has a tragic ending. For example, there was a ghost who farted and then died. I went to Sister Furong, fell in love with Sister Furong, and married Sister Furong...

8: Ya Louzhu: Talking to the idiots at work every day makes me feel that my future is very slim... Reply: Be happy for you ~ Because Playing the piano to a cow is not scary, but what is scary is a group of cows playing the piano to you every day!

9: Posted by: A female pineapple vendor in Nantou, Shenzhen bit off the penis of the city manager’s uncle in a fit of desperation... Reply: Humph! If you don’t let me live, I won’t let you enjoy life! !

10: In fact, Newton was just lucky to have discovered the law of gravity. If I had been born three hundred years earlier, I could have done it! Reply: He is indeed the lucky one, because what hit him on the head was an apple, and what hit the poor poster on the head was either a durian or a coconut...

11: Postmaster: Was he called uncle or miserable? My brother is in trouble? Baoqiang’s reply: Uncle, your brother is out.

12: The host: The city manager has added new weapons to catch stray dogs!

13: Host: Why do more and more people not want children? Rape reply: Senior officials sent from Beijing have said that they should be arrested from childhood.

14: Poster: I met a male netizen today and he kept hinting that he wanted to have sex. I would like to ask: Is it true that the purpose of meeting netizens now is to have sex? Rape reply: Netizens won’t sleep with each other when they meet? Are you kidding, everyone is so busy.

15: Postmaster: A student has the lowest grades every year. He often fights with others. According to the leader's request, the teacher wants to give students a better listening final comment. How should I write it? Violent reply: The student’s grades are stable and his practical ability is strong.

16: Poster: From the Hainan mineral water drinking incident, we can see that China’s food safety is worrying. Mineral water can also kill people? Isn’t there a QS logo? Strong reply: Let me ask you weakly, does QS mean to die?

17: Host: Do you want Li Yuchun or Zhang Ziyi as a man? Rape reply: A rooster or a pheasant, neither choice

18: Poster: Which one is more cost-effective: raising a dog or raising a man? Rape reply: Auntie, even if you can treat a man like a dog, do you dare to treat a dog like a man?

19: Host: Li Yuchun and Sister Furong fell into the water at the same time. You have a brick in your hand. Who do you hit? Rape reply: Whoever saves will be killed.

20: Poster: I have one million and want to buy a car. Can you give me some advice? 21: Forum owner: Wang Xiaoya and Chen Zhangliang are getting married. Please comment in four words. Forum reply: You have become a good person!

22: Postmaster: Do you think I look like Wu Bai? Forum reply: Only half the image! (Two hundred and five!!)

23: Host: Last night when we were walking the dog, our big Tibetan mastiff and a bald wild dog bit each other by the woods. Dry! Unexpectedly, the Tibetan Mastiff was defeated by a straw dog! ! ! Forum ***: ****, before I went bald, they all called me Lion!

24: Host: Guess which country I am a mixed-race child ^_^ Forum reply: Chinese + Transformers!

25: Post owner: My girlfriend always says she has small breasts. I think it’s okay. Please ask forum GGs to help identify it~ Forum ***: I have two pimples on my back!

26: Post owner: If I had 100 million yuan, I could get a loan to buy a house in Tomson Yipin! Forum reply: Yes, but you still have to borrow money to pay the property fee first ~

27: Poster: He made an oath today that I am a part of his life, I am a part of his body, if it is gone He can't live with me~ Forum ***: My ex-boyfriend said the same thing. Later I found out that I was his appendix, appendix, ears, six fingers and other dispensable things!

28: Host: I am so rich, what kind of car should I buy for my nanny? Forum reply: It depends on how the relationship between her and your husband develops ~

29: Original poster: The damn barber shop cut my head badly! Everyone came up with some destructive measures, asking for the greater the damage, the better, and the smaller the noise, the better, because I was going alone. Forum Basement: It was midnight, the moon was dark and the wind was high. Quietly and gently, a man hung himself in front of the barber shop...

30: Posted by: What should I do if I have amnesia? Forum reply: Wouldn’t that be cool? Every morning I wake up and find that the person sleeping next to me is a different woman~

31: Host: When you were a child, did you imagine what kind of scene would make you stand out in front of everyone when you grew up? Forum bench: Take a load of dung to the streets, and throw it at anyone you don’t like!

32: Postmaster: Why does pol.ice sound the siren when it catches bad guys? Aren't you afraid that the bad guy will run away if you hear him from a distance? Forum ***: The higher-level unit usually notifies the lower-level unit in advance before coming to inspect ~

33: Poster: Why does the child born have the same surname as the father? Forum ***: Because the money spit out from the ATM belongs to the person who inserted the card.

34: Postmaster: Being handsome is useless—in the end, he won’t be eaten by pawns! Forum reply: Being handsome is accompanied by soldiers, cannonballed, rode on a horse, sat in a car, and has a secret love... Why is there something wrong with being handsome? ! !

35: Poster: Collect the most scolding words without using any curse words. Forum reply 31: Did your mother throw away the person when she gave birth to you and raise the placenta?

36: Poster: Why was the Japanese side relatively indifferent when President Hu visited Japan, and even the airport didn’t even hang a welcome sign? Forum ***: How to hang up? Warmly welcome old Chinese friends to Japan?

37: Original poster: I fell in love with a girl who is 6 years younger than me and is still in junior high school. What a sin. Rape reply: It would be really sinful to remove the word "like".

On the 101 bus to work, it was overcrowded. There was a man and a woman close to the door. The man wore glasses, carried a leather bag, and had a frivolous look on his face. The woman looked like a standard OL. The two talked unscrupulously: Man: Is your husband not at home tonight? (It’s a lot quieter around here...)

Female: Well, he is out of town this week.

Male: Then we can have some fun tonight ? (The uncle next door turned to look...)

Female: What do you want to do? (The aunt next door also turned to look...)

Male: Just do it the same way. I'll ask for a room (the middle school student next door also turned around...)

Female: Oh, you ask for a room, I won't come, or I will ask for one (everyone was shocked...)

Male: That's cool , go ahead, I’ll come in and beat you to death (the crowd around me took a breath...)

Female: She thinks I’m easy to bully and says, I don’t know which one to do, and I can’t bear it and don’t ask for mercy (the crowd exudes BS in their eyes) (light of light)

Male: No matter how fierce you are, I can only stay with you for one hour. I also have to accompany my girlfriend at night (there is murderous intent in the carriage...)

Female: Shout She comes to have fun together (Faint...)

Male: She only knows how to fight landlords, not mahjong... (all go berserk)

A man woke up in the morning and found his wife dead. on the bed. He jumped up quickly, ran down the stairs with a pale face and stumbled, shouting: "Amei! Amei!"

The maid replied: "Sir! What's the matter?"

"One boiled egg for breakfast is enough!"

One day, Zhu Zhishan told Tang Bohu: There lived a widow in the back mountain. She had been a widow for three years. She regarded chastity as her life and only raised an eagle to depend on her. If you can deal with this woman, then I, Zhu Zhishan, will admire you. Tang Bohu thought about it and asked Zhu Zhishan to come back in a few days to hear the news. Two days later, it started raining heavily. In the middle of the night, Tang Bohu climbed up the back mountain and arrived at the door of the widow's house. Tang Bohu knocked on the door and asked, "Can you let me take shelter from the rain?" The widow opened the door. It turned out to be Tang Bohu, a talented man from Jiangnan, and she quickly let him in. Tang Bohu came in, thanked him profusely, and then asked, "Can you take off the wet clothes?" When the widow saw that the clothes were all wet, she quickly put the clothes on the stove to dry. At this time, Tang Bohu asked again: "Sister-in-law, I'm thirsty. Can you lend me a ladle so I can drink some water?" The widow quickly gave Tang Bohu a ladle.

Tang Bohu finished drinking the water, looked at how late it was, and asked the widow: "Sister-in-law, can you let me spend the night here?" The widow thought for a while, and it was raining heavily outside, so she agreed. Led Tang Bohu to the guest room, Tang Bohu entered the guest room, was not polite, and fell asleep. At dawn the next day, Tang Bohu got up early and quietly walked into the yard. Sure enough, he saw the eagle that depended on each other. Tang Bohu caught the eagle and plucked out all its feathers; then he returned home without even saying hello to the widow.

A few days later, Tang Bohu and Zhu Zhishan were playing chess at home and heard someone knocking on the door. Zhu Zhishan opened the door, and it turned out to be the widow. As soon as the widow saw Tang Bohu, she yelled in Mandarin: "Tang Bohu, Tang Bohu! You are a scholar from the south of the Yangtze River, a talented man, why did you do such a dirty thing? I thought you were pitiful that day, so you opened the door with kindness. Let you come in. If you want to take shelter from the rain, I will let you take it off. If you want to take it off, I will give it to you. If you want to spend the night, I will let you stay the night. Why did you pluck out all my eagle feathers?"

Zhu Zhishan was dumbfounded...

1 When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she walked over and whispered: "Be careful. Liver! "The patient smiled and said: "Baby."

2. A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she hurriedly Said to the man: Comrade, you dropped your cigarette! The man was furious: You just castrated me!

3. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly, he saw a person running in. Suddenly it was stormy and rainy. "Brother, I'm so envious of you, so fast." "Why are you envious? I didn't take off my pants."

4. A ***, the English name of the next girl to be interviewed is "spring" .

The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English proficiency and shouted: Hi! The one named "Spring", it's your turn!

5. On the bus, a pregnant woman standing said to a strange man sitting next to her: Don’t you know I’m pregnant? The man looked very nervous and said: But the child is not mine!

6. People: Are there military prostitutes in the army? Army: Yes, how can we do it without military discipline? People: Really! Do you have to pay? Military: How much money do you need? Our military disciplines are all handed down from above.

7. Female secretary: "Boss, your wife called, and she said she wanted to kiss you on the phone." Boss: "You collect it for me first, and come over and give it to me later."

p>

8. Mrs. Wang is pregnant with quadruplets and shows off to her neighbors everywhere, saying that it is not easy to conceive quadruplets, and it takes an average of 60,000 times for one to occur. Mrs. Li was surprised: Do you still have time to do housework?

9. The child is thinking about issues related to "heredity and environment". The mother interjected: This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like his father, it is genetic; if he is like his neighbor, it is environment.

10. The woman said: Why do you look so old-fashioned? The man said: If you like RMB, do you still care about the year it was issued?

One day, I went to Hangzhou with my sister and saw the Life Release Pond (a pond with countless turtles) in front of the Jing Temple. , seeing

a pond full of turtles swimming with only their heads exposed in the water, the cute girl shouted excitedly: "Wow~ there are so many ****!

!!" I fainted from laughing on the spot

Go...mm and then my face turned red...

What happened in junior high school: A group of us were there after class Telling a joke, (there are men and women) is of course a very old joke

: "Once upon a time, there was a eunuch..." Then he stopped talking, and a girl asked: " What about the bottom?

" I said: "The bottom?

The bottom is gone..." Everyone laughed, and a minute later, it was the same MM

< p>Asked: "Why is there no more down there?" Me: "..."

Once we were discussing cooking in the dormitory, and a brother's GF was also there. We say that nowadays young men generally know how to cook, but young girls generally do not. The girl said: "I can do it, I can make chicken!" Everyone snickered

. MM didn't know what she meant, so she said confidently: "I really know how to make a chicken!". Everyone couldn't bear it and rushed out of the door.

MM chased him outside the door and stood in the corridor and shouted: "

Am I the only one who knows how to make a chicken?" Everyone was horrified and fled.

When I was an undergraduate, before taking the computer internship class, the MM who was in charge of managing the computer room asked our teacher (male) to borrow

a screwdriver to dismantle a machine (in Another room), but when we were getting on the machine, she stood at the door of the machine room and shouted to me: "Teacher! That thing of yours is really hard to use." ! ” Everyone turned around~

One day, my sister and brother went to school and saw two dogs mating while riding in the car. The younger brother asked his older sister what he was doing. "We're fighting." My sister quickly responded to him. At this time, my sister noticed that two young hooligans were looking at her, their eyes still scanning her body. "What are you looking at? Do you want to fight?" my sister said loudly.

Once, I, my girlfriend, and two friends (a couple) drove to another place to play. The journey was very long. . . When we came back

My MM and I were sitting in the back. Since I didn't sleep much the night before, I felt like snoring not long after we got on the road. I leaned against MM's body and snored.

After a short time, I woke up refreshed~ Unexpectedly, MM was also tired and said: "I have been slept with by you, now it is your turn to let me sleep."

My friend in front immediately stopped the car, opened the door, stepped out of the way and laughed wildly

. . . ?I and I really don’t know what to say~~ MM’s eyes were too big to react~~!

One day, when I brought my new laptop to work, a beautiful colleague came over to admire the machine.

After looking at the machine

I looked at the computer bag, and then suddenly told the second most powerful joke in history: "Your foreskin is so soft!"

Why

What is the second strongest? Because while I was shocked and stunned, she told the most powerful joke in history: "Let me open it and see."! ! ! He immediately vomited several liters of blood and fell unconscious.

Remembering a past incident in junior high school, a certain BT in the class asked an innocent little girl an H riddle. The riddle was "New

Wedding night—

--Hit a historical figure." The answer is "Charles I." Of course the little girl couldn't guess it, so BT laughed wildly and proudly announced the answer. Unexpectedly... the little girl chased after the BT and asked: "Why Charles I? Why? Can you explain it to me? I really don't understand!"

"The BT's vitality was severely damaged. From then on, he was as afraid of the little girl as a snake and a scorpion, and he no longer dared to tell H stories in front of her...

My sister found a cigarette advertisement

p>

It said: One stick in hand, endless aftertaste. Then my sister turned to a certain soy sauce advertisement

It said: Drops of fragrant and delicious. Finally, the three sisters quarreled with their mother. Also tell me how you feel,

Mom

Mom couldn’t help but find an advertisement for a certain chocolate company that said: Only melts in your mouth, not in your hands

< p>A recruit got up to report to the toilet. After entering the toilet, he did not come out for a long time. Officer An was very strange. He was afraid that he was going to desert, so he went to the toilet to take a look. He looked carefully and found that the recruit was still on the toilet. He moved closer.

He was also found muttering to himself.

An Guan became even more curious, so he sneaked closer to hear what he was talking about.

The soldier was saying: "Son, it's not that daddy doesn't want you, it's just that mommy can't be found!"