Classic funny connotation quotations short sentences

1 You know, under my tough skin, I am a fragile person.

2. BMW clears the way in front, Mercedes-Benz follows, and donkey is inserted in the middle.

Don't say you love me very much. If you dare, you can take me to meet your parents in the New Year.

4, good and evil will eventually be reported, grab my man, I will grab your man.

5, go forward, hold your head high, face higher requirements, resist the north nose _ challenge if you are the one.

6. Let me count by hand. I am destined to be your husband.

7. While waiting for the bus, I heard a couple say, Run, the No.8 bus is coming.

8. Tucao is used to count money, not to reason.

9. The longer you have contact with people, the more you like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people.

10, do you want to eat or not? *

1 1, my mother said: People who blush most easily are often the kindest.

12, the biggest pain in life is that I didn't see the rainbow after the storm, and I caught a cold.

13, living in this era of fuck, we should hold the attitude of fuck everything.

14, you said that ice was sleeping water, I only remember that fart was a breath of shit.

15, "Doctor, what should I do with big pores?" "The pixel drops."

16, Rome was not built in a day, nor was it built in a day.

17, how much love can be messed around, and how many broken shoes are waiting.

18, youth is running hard and then falling down beautifully.

19, my quilt is sick, take good care of it.

20. I counted my fingers and found that I was missing in your life.

2 1 and after 90, you have a heart born after 80 and a face born after 70.

22, don't think that you can swear casually if you look good!

23. One day Altman raised his hand to answer questions in class, and then the teacher died.

24. You are mine! I heard that marriage certificates are very cheap now, 9 yuan each. Let me treat you!

Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment, I always say a word in my mind: "Fried". ...

26. If you treat me as a game, I will kill you.

27. How many people like me to listen to English songs? I don't know what that means. ?

28. Eating is also what I want; Fat, I am also; You can't have your cake and eat it, so I'm leaving.

29. If you want good eyesight, use Hushubao first. Chrysanthemum recommendation ~

30, life since ancient times, who has no shit, who has no paper. Good poem, good poem.

3 1, each of us is a dreamer. Dreams are gone, only homesickness is left.

32, shameless this matter, if done well, is called excellent psychological quality.

33. I woke up easily on this spring morning and yawned for it. I can't sleep at night and I can't wake up during the day.

34. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in one word: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.

35. The bell in class is sweeter than the national anthem, and there are more bells in class than anxiety.

36. I always want to play computer at school, but I can only stare blankly at the computer during holidays.

37. If the teacher didn't say you can't litter, I would throw you out.

38. There are always a few people. As soon as the teacher asked them to answer the question, the whole class laughed. ...

It's not that I don't want to lose weight, I'm just afraid of rebounding.

40. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

4 1, Confucius said: sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Laozi said: Confucius is right.

42. Eat steamed bread. Eat kimchi. The rest of the money is used for dating.

There are so many bacteria in the outside world that I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.

44. The teacher always says that I swear and stink. Can you sit next to the trash can and keep your mouth from stinking?

45. A woman without talent is virtuous. I must be too wicked.

46. Don't think that you can play Mercedes-Benz in the street by driving a tractor.

47. The teacher asked, why did you choose A instead of C for the answer to this question? The student answers, because the question is stupid.

In order to prevent us from puppy love, the teacher invented something called teacher-student love.

49. The exam is zero. I don't even have a zero without you.

50. In class, someone sent a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him up ... It said, Are you there?

Funny quotations with classic connotations

1. Every reserved and calm moment has a naive and silly past.

2. surfing the internet really hurts. Three seconds for a card, the card is chic. Stop in five seconds and it will be tangible.

3. Lies, after packaging, have a better name: oath.

4. The first part: looking for a job, looking for a good job, the second part: looking for a husband, looking for a good husband, horizontal batch: dreaming.

I have been crazy, stupid, persistent, persistent, loved, and finally lived alone.

6. Money is selfless and many families have been cheated.

7. How can you be so calm about someone who has a crush on me?

8. My biggest wish is: the school has collapsed, the teacher is crazy, the homework belongs to others, and you are mine.

9. Being cheated on the Internet 1300 yuan. I went to the police. The police said that if the amount was below 2000 yuan, I wouldn't file a case, so I immediately dialed 700 yuan into the liar's account and was deeply shocked by my wisdom.

10. Take your girlfriend to the amusement park and take a roller coaster ride. Other people's girlfriends: ah ~ ah ~ how horrible! Girlfriend: Ouch!

1 1. Tell me if you like it. Maybe people are waiting to refuse you.

12. "Why do I feel so beautiful every time I take a shower?" "Because I'm out of my mind."

13. Every time I take the elevator, I hear the door open with a "ding", just like in the microwave oven. Sometimes there are acquaintances in it.

14. Never dare to take the car of a female driver again. This is my first car accident. I covered my eyes and didn't step on the brakes.

15. Three stages of life: first, the moonlight family who earns money on their own conditions is called a loser; Second, if you lose yourself and start to gnaw at the old, this is called mutual loss; Third, when you are old, find a partner like yourself. It's called husband and wife failure.

16. A diaosi finally made an appointment with the long-awaited goddess to go up the mountain to watch the sunrise. A cool breeze blew, and diaosi said, "Are you cold?" There was a warm current in the goddess's heart: "It's not cold, thank you ..." Diaosi: "Can you take off your coat and give it to me? I'm so cold ... "

17. The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today.

18. There are only three reasons why you don't listen carefully in class: holding a mobile phone in your hand, there is a silly contrast in your heart, and there is a funny contrast next to it.

19. Or 10086. It is good for me. I sent him a short message and he replied to me three times.

20. The mouth is trying to be brave and the heart is surrendering. It's not very strong. Actually, we are all faking it.

2 1. Don't quarrel with male tickets easily. Nobody likes such an unreasonable woman. Learn from Pan Jinlian and get poisoned.

22. Attractive women are not afraid of men's playboys, and capable men are not afraid of women's unrealistic!

23. I know you won't come with me if I reach out. So I stretched my legs and tripped you, and you really stood up and chased me.

24. "When do you think your boyfriend is the stupidest?" "So far haven't been able to find me. It's stupid. "

25. There were Ximen Qing in ancient times and Edison Chen today; The stream sees the stream and takes out its own camera.

Funny quotations with classic connotations II

1. Teacher, just follow the old lady! ... after a long time ... teacher, please give me a break!

2. Chastity varies from person to person. For example, people will praise a girl as a virgin, but they will also laugh at a boy as a virgin.

3. Bitter people: Nothing to die for. Romance: Nothing. Find a beautiful woman to sleep with. Rich man: nothing to buy a new car to drive. Me: Nothing. Pick up a cigarette and smoke it …

4. I changed her from a girl to a woman; She changed me from a boy to ... a poor man.

5. Is it cruel that the female mantis will eat the male mantis after mating? But some women swallow countless offspring during mating …

6. When I was a child, I often heard that someone committed suicide because of the pressure of life. At that time, I knew death, but I didn't understand what stress was. Now that I have grown up, I don't understand why so many people are still alive …

7. A beautiful, pure, gentle, sexy and lovely virgin is like a ghost. Men are talking about it, but no one has seen it with their own eyes …

8. Spring is not a cry, but a real knife and a real gun!

9. "Honey, I'm … I'm pregnant … for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you're not responsible …"

10. As the saying goes: If you laugh, the whole world laughs with you; You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

1 1. During the dinner, the principal insisted that I find some female classmates to accompany me, but as a teacher, how could I do such a outrageous thing? I came to the hall outside anxiously and saw several young ladies sitting on the stage, looking very young. So I asked them to come with me, and the Taiwan Province fee doubled as usual. The only requirement is that they must always say that they are students of the Film Academy. Unexpectedly, several young ladies burst into tears with joy: "Big Brother, you really found the right person. We are from the Film Academy! ! ! "

12. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I didn't have a chance to interrupt her.

13. The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.

14. Advertisement of a flower shop: Today, the price of roses in our shop is the lowest. You can even buy some roses for your wife.

15. About thong: I used to take off my underwear to look at my ass; Now, pull out your ass and look at your underwear …

16. Bathing is a blessing to the ass and a pain to the head; Watching movies is a blessing on the head and a pain on the ass, but listening to you is a pain on the head and a pain on the ass.

17. since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the internet, but there are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.

18. Look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.

19. It is better to have a virgin in China than in Japan.

20. If you hate a man, turn his woman into Chris Lee, so that he can't enjoy the upper body happiness. If you hate a woman, turn her man into Chris Lee, so that she can't enjoy the happiness of the lower body.

2 1. I really don't want to do it anymore-because the pestle has been ground into an embroidery needle.

22. Sometimes, we are so grateful for the kindness of others that we turn a blind eye to the kindness of our loved ones all our lives.

23. I can't talk I stutter when I see a lot of people, like a sheep shitting. Please forgive me if it doesn't taste like you.

24. How can a woman have a tip if a man is not drunk? How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk? Women and men are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel.

25. I'm not nice to you without money and power. Can you follow me?

26. Why is her brother a gangster? Shit! Aren't you going to the party?

27. Time is like cleavage, there is always a squeeze.

28. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my toad mother.

29. According to the pig's aesthetic, I am basically a handsome guy.

30. Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, it can't play the sadness of Lao Tzu!

20 Classic Funny Quotations with Connotation

20 Classic Funny Quotations with Connotation

1. "As for whether you believe it or not, I believe it anyway!" It fully proves that the leader is too pure and lacks the skills of lying.

2. If you can't afford a house alive and a tomb dead, you'd better buy a train ticket to embed it, dear!

My only weakness is that I have a lot of money, and now it's almost perfect.

4. Ministry of Railways: Saving people first? The question hurts!

5. Life is like mahjong: love at first sight is called Tianhu, free love is called Pinghu, finding a lover is called dark bar, hooking up with someone else's husband is called grabbing bar, having children with someone else's husband is called flowering on the bar, having a lover is called hanging, having no lover is called xianggong, and being single is called touching yourself!

6. I invited the leader to dinner, and the leader declined some. I wanted to say yes, but I said damn it. Shit, no more handwritten text messages. . .

7. If you don't have eggs, it won't hurt; But you have a fat, you can make a fat egg!

8. The blender stirred away my youth, the excavator dug away my dream, the roller crushed my hope, and the electric welding machine could not sew up my sadness!

9. Nowadays, men don't have to chase girls so hard. As long as you have a car and a house, your wife will follow. Believe it or not, I do.

10. Some people say that men who are bad to women in this life will be sanitary napkins in the next life.

1 1. Some people say; A woman who gives a man a green hat will be a contraceptive in her next life.

12. In order to work overtime, I decided to leave all the work to do after work!

13. I have worked hard to chase you for so many years, but I still can't surpass the distance between you and the micro-towel!

14. I asked fahai: what is fate? He said: You wait, I will accept you sooner or later. .

15. In Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to make sentences with the Great Wall. Xiaoming replied, "The Great Wall is very long." The teacher was unhappy: "No, create another one!" " Xiao Ming was even more unhappy and twisted his head: "Why, I'm not Qin Shihuang! "

16. If you don't have the luck to buy 5 million in the lottery, try buying 500 thousand in the ticket. That's a high probability, dear!

17. Overtime is not terrible. The terrible thing is not knowing when to work overtime.

18. Will there be any accidents on Tanabata ~ ~?

19. Su Zhen's national tour page ~ The ant started, as if she was not looking for Xu Xian.

20. Bai is so awesome that he told the Ministry of Railways: Our technology is very good and qualified, and we are still confident. Bai said: a person's heart function is good, and everything in the liver, spleen and stomach is good, but he is mentally retarded. Can you say that he is a healthy man? !

Funny and meaningful classic quotations

1: Not farting will suffocate your heart. Don't push, exercise.

2: Goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and add water, light the fire and cover the pot!

3. If cutting my hair means cutting my memory, will I lose my memory if I cut my hair?

4: Are you doing well now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

5: There is no cow dung in the end of the world, so why unrequited love for a piece of shit.

6: Man is iron, rice is steel, and there is no soup in his bones.

7: Some people are so tender that they come out as soon as they pinch, but I am so timid that I bubble when I pinch my nose.

After which noble family, your father is Marshal Tian Peng!

9: Will you stop spinning around in my head? Aren't you tired?

10: the sky is vast, you eat grass and I eat sugar.

1 1: I think the earth is so dangerous. I miss Mars.

12: If you don't have health insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

13: Sorry, there is no gender suitable for you in the public toilet.

14: Once upon a time, his eyes were as lifeless as Dong Cunrui's.

15: I took a fancy to you at first, because I was out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

16: People who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and those who can't eat fat are fearless.

17: Although I can't help sentient beings, I can hurt them.

18: Who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.

19: The fat is so thick that it is uncomfortable to move!

20: Beat all the soy sauce in the world and make others jealous.

2 1: In order to be a civil servant, I gave birth to a leader's son.

22: Beauty is heaven for the eyes and hell for the wallet!

23: the world is cold and cold, and the human feelings are warm and cold.

24: When there is a bright moon, look up by yourself.

25: Everyone is a prisoner, and the phone number is the number.

26: The mountain is not high, the fairy light is brilliant, and there is not much water. Drink it.

27: Don't worry about my sense of security. You think I'm a special antivirus software.

28: Some people say that I am too lazy to cramp, but in fact I am too lazy to cramp.

29: Clear water without fish makes people invincible.

30: You don't have the image of a pig, but you have the temperament of a pig.

3 1: The chances of finding true love this year are similar to those of being struck by lightning.

32: The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.

I don't know my rival in love or my lover.

34: The high pressure in your eyes is enough for my mobile phone to last for a year.

35: Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

I don't think you are a qualified friend. You better be my wife!

37: If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

It took me a long time to buy a mobile phone, and I realized that my words were so valuable.

39: Learn not to be angry first, and then learn to make people angry.

Confucius said: In a threesome, there must be my wife. Choose a beautiful one to marry.

4 1: Old people can't fight, children can't fight, women can't fight, and men fight to the death.

42: Your appearance is not accurate and your proportion is not good.

If people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.

I didn't say you were shameless, I said you were shameless.

You say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals are indeed friends of human beings.

46: Obama, do you remember the little bin Laden by Daming Lake?