How to compile everyone’s names into some funny phrases

1. Can you help me compile some people’s names into riddles, verses, and funny puzzle words? I need them urgently

Friends, if you don’t understand my task, just ask if you don’t understand. Adopt it as soon as possible ^_^

Hou Yi lived alone among the mountains and rivers

The distant trees in the fog are full of autumn colors

The light boats are floating on the spring water beams

After graduation, I went to Shanghai Kun

A thought about the four northern islands

Everyone who came was the master Chen

At two o'clock, I was in Nanning Xiao

Several generations of emperors have been doing Zhengwei

Among them is Jiang, the general in front of the camp

The beauty meets Houwei at dusk

Especially wearing a sword to see the gentleman dragon

Adding people, adding people, adding children

Miracles will always arrive

This woman born in the Year of the Dog is in awe of authority

Stay far away Hearing the Sound of the Monkey Yuan

The forest blocks another inch of light

My son raised funds for the four modernizations

He is always generous and generous

The two love each other and are closely related to Hao

The beautiful people parted with tears in the ocean

Then they crossed Taihang and entered the Shaanxi mainland

Skills are made through hard work

Willing to offer strategies and strategies to the world

Unite as one for Comrade Zhou

Set up two sails and act wisely first

Thirty days after the separation of brother and sister

Very considerate, no one thanked me

Every moment I remember it, I feel even sadder

I have to sweat all the time when I go to work

The West Lake virgin’s self-esteem Gao Jie

Every bit of savings becomes the Four Modernizations

The landscape has changed and people are vying to be the first in Europe

Old things should not be preserved

Reclaim the land and become a pioneer banker

The little duck flutters its wings and wants to fly into the sky

Singing continuously for the sun to rise

After joining the party, you will never look back

The waistband of generals is male and female Jianping

The wild geese formation and the others pass by the forest

The four parties are united and united in one mind

Harmonious and peaceful, without resentment and gentleness

Right Zheng has a good relationship with his neighbors

A man shines with his heart

The world-famous Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty

When you ask your heart, you can look at the sky

The drizzle is falling on the Double Ninth Festival

The willows and willows are leaning on the spring breeze

2. Looking for some funny sentences

1 Who in the world grows old all of a sudden? Answer: Bride. Because today I am the bride and tomorrow I will be the wife. 2 How much is a heart worth? Answer: 100 million. Because you are single-minded! 3 How many letters are there in English? Answer: 20. AIDS (AIDS) died, ET (aliens) flew away. 4 Where is it absolutely forbidden to tell jokes? Answer: The seaside. Because telling jokes at the seaside will cause a tsunami (Haixiao). 5 How much money do I need to bring to go out in typhoon weather? Answer: 40 million. Because of the typhoon weather, don’t go out unless you have something to do. 6 It’s time to take an exam, what books can’t you read? Answer: Encyclopedia (lose all encyclopedias). 8 Why is the belly of a penguin white? Answer: Because the penguin's hands are too short, the bath can only reach the belly but not the back. Why would a healthy couple give birth to a baby without eyes? [Answer] Chicken lays an egg 9. If the end of the world is tomorrow, why do some people want to commit suicide today? [Answer] Go to heaven and get a place. 10 When a fat girl is sick, what are you most afraid of when others come to visit her? [Answer] Take care. 11 Question: What are you afraid of with cloth and paper? Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.

Reason: Not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, only (paper) afraid of the unexpected. 12 Question: What is the last name of Pencil? Answer: Xiao Reason: Sharpen (Xiao) pencil.

13 Question: What will the Kirin become when it reaches the North Pole? Answer: ice cream. Reason: ice cream (Ice Kirin).

14 Question: Which number from 1 to 9 is the most diligent and which number is the laziest? Answer: 1. Lazy; 2. Hardworking. Reasons: One (1) does not do it and two (2) does not stop. 15 Question: How to make a sparrow quiet? Answer: Press it.

Reason: silence. 16 Question: Who is the fastest runner in history? Answer: Cao Cao Reason: Said Cao Cao, Cao Cao arrived 17 Question: Which number from 30 to 50 is more powerful than a bear’s poop! Answer: 40 Reason: Facts speak louder than argument (bear) 18 Question: What should I do if the pig runs out of the pig pen? Answer: Wang Leehom Reason: Coaxing in. 19 Question: What should I do if it comes out again? Answer: Han Hong Reason: Still coaxing 20 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------A bear without a tail is a tail bear, and a bear without a penis is what kind of bear? Answer: Female Bear 21 Funny Brain Teasers ------------------- September 28 is the birthday of Confucius, so what day is October 28? Answer: Confucius Full Moon 22 Funny Brain Teasers ------------------- The wolf is coming (guess the fruit)? Answer: Star Tao (Sheep Flee) 23 Funny Brain Teasers------------------What would the world be like if Mr. Jiang (Chiang Kai-shek) was still alive? Answer: One more person.

24 Funny Brain Teasers ------------------- Are there carps under these two pieces of ice (four-character idiom)? Answer: Be polite (Bing Bing You Carp 25 Funny Brain Teasers ------------------- Why can tofu hurt people? Answer: Because it is frozen tofu 26 Funny Brain Teasers Turn------------------An ant actually crawled from Sichuan to Tokyo. Is it possible? Answer: 27 Funny Brain Teasers on the Map------- ----------A bus had an accident and everyone was injured. Why was Xiao Ming okay? Answer: Because he was not in the car 28 Funny Brain Teasers ------- ----------There is a place that can be entered or exited. What is this place? Answer: Tomb 29 Funny Brain Teasers---------------- ---Chicken and goose run a 100-meter race. The chicken runs faster than the goose. Why does it arrive at the finish line later? Answer: The chicken ran in the wrong direction. 30 Funny Brain Teasers--------------- ----Class*** The east ring rings, but no one is in the classroom. What's going on? Answer: It's a physical education class 31 Funny Brain Teasers-------------- -----Why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand? Answer: The car is a taxi 32 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Lingling has never learned it before Arithmetic, but the teacher praised her for being one of the best in math. Why? Answer: Counting from one to two 33 Funny Brain Teasers------------------When Columbus had one foot What's the next thing after stepping into the new world? Answer: Step on the other foot 34 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------What are the things people keep eating? , but never enough.

Answer: Air 35 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------What method can be used to make eyebrows grow under the eyes? Answer: Handstand 36 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------What is the thing that everyone will never forget before going to bed? Answer: Close your eyes 37 Funny Brain Teasers ------------------- Some people say that eating fish can prevent myopia. Why? Answer: Have you ever seen a cat wearing eyes? 38 Funny Brain Teasers------------------What can be added or subtracted? Answer: Age 39 Funny Brain Teasers -------------------What kind of mountains and seas can move Answer: Mountains and seas of people 40 What has no tongue in its mouth Answer: Teapot Spout 41 Funny brain teasers -------------------What kind of official can't give orders but still has to make others laugh all the time? Answer: Xinlangguan 42 Funny Brain Teasers------------------A policeman ran away when he saw a thief. Why? Answer: I want to catch the thief quickly. 43 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Xiao Ming eats chewing gum every day, but others still say he has bad breath. Why? Answer: He swears every day.

44 Funny Brain Teasers------------------Why can frogs jump higher than trees? Answer: Because he is standing on a tree and jumping 45 "You are standing with a pig", guess an animal Answer: Elephant (like) 46 The train takes 6 hours from Beijing to Shanghai. After 3 hours of travel, where should the train be? Answer: On the track 47 Lao Wang shaves forty or fifty times a day, but he still has a beard on his face. What is the reason? Answer: Lao Wang is a barber 48 In winter, the baby is afraid of the cold and refuses to take off his hat when he gets inside.

But he took off his hat obediently when he saw someone. Who was that person? Answer: Barber 49 What flowers cannot be touched Answer: Sparks 50 How long does it take to study at Peking University Answer: One second 51 What kind of fruit cannot be eaten? Bad Consequences 52 Why did a policeman run away when he saw a thief? Because he wanted to catch the thief quickly. 53 The two brothers who looked the same were drafted into the army at the same time. They were related by blood and had the same birth date and parents' names. The company commander asked them if they were twins.

They said no. May I ask why? Answer: Two of the triplets 54 There were two prisoners in a prison. One night all the prisoners escaped, but the next day the guard opened the cell door and saw that there was another prisoner inside? Answer: The name of the escaped prisoner is "Quan Quan".

55 What can be used to unlock everything.

3. Give me a super funny text

Chinese teacher: During class, a classmate was reading a magazine. I confiscated his magazine and hit him on the head.

But when I turned around to continue the class, his deskmate burst out laughing and couldn't continue the class. I asked him why he was laughing. Do you know what his answer was? mine? The boy took out a book of Cihai from the drawer and said to me: "Teacher, it's a good thing you didn't notice me reading, otherwise I would have been beaten to death by you~~"... Mathematics teacher: I have never failed a unit test. of students were able to use their high school knowledge in their assignments.

. I asked him if he did this homework himself, and the classmate actually replied that he didn’t know. Please tell me. It’s true. I continued to ask him and asked him to tell the truth. Who did it for him? Hey, he had a reason and answered me: "Teacher, I really don’t know who did this homework. To be honest, I went to bed early last night.

.”…Physics teacher: Do you know how many lessons I have taught just one clockwise and one counterclockwise? Five classes! Yes, that’s what I told them. If they still don’t understand, just look at their watch. Wherever the hour hand goes, it’s clockwise, and vice versa.

However, when the whole class counted, they were either using mobile phones or electronic watches.

If I don’t resign, I will teach them these two words for the whole semester? ………… PE teacher: Why don’t I resign? Those boys actually gave me gifts! ! No, it’s right to give gifts. I don’t mean that it’s wrong for them to give me gifts, but it’s wrong for them to give me gifts.

Why am I getting more and more confused as I talk? Let me put it this way, although I am a little slimmer and my skin is whiter, I am still a male teacher, right? But on Women's Day a few days ago, those guys actually gave me a box of hair removal cream. ..Also, also, you told me not to wear woolen pants in the summer anymore, damn, that’s my leg hair! ......... Biology teacher: I really don’t want to leave, but.

You know that I have a heart disease and can't stand excitement, but can I not be excited? Yesterday, in the unit exam, according to the requirements of the syllabus, I asked the students to look at the bird legs on the teaching picture and write the name of the bird and its living habits.

But just as I was talking about the content of the test, a classmate stood up and walked out the door, muttering, "Damn, there are questions like this, I won't take the test anymore." You said Do we need education for such students? I stopped him and asked him his name. He actually pulled up his pants, exposed his legs and said to me: "Come on, look at my legs and write my name.

"

………… Art teacher: As you know, I have just been assigned to this class. Yesterday during class, I heard several classmates shouting "beauty" as soon as I entered the door. Do you think it was irritating? I am a teacher, how can they disrespect teachers so much? .. Yes, it would be wrong of me to resign just because they called me "Beauty." But when I was looking for someone who called me "Beauty," those classmates shouted to me, "What are you looking at? It's not like calling me "Beauty." You!”… History teacher: I really can’t teach those students. During class, I asked a question: “Do you know who Wu Zetian is?” The first student replied that he was not familiar with her. The second classmate answered me that he was one of his online friends, and the third classmate said that he had her QQ number and would ask on QQ after class.

One classmate even took out his cell phone and said he wanted to ask her right away! ………… Social Studies Teacher: When I was talking about banks, I said, students, everyone knows that the Rice Bank sells rice and the Cloth Bank sells cloth, but do you know about banks? All students answered loudly in unison: Banks sell yin... Geography teacher: Take a look at their test papers this time. The first of my country's five famous mountains is Zhao Benshan, the most famous river is Pan Changjiang, and my country's 'coal capital' is ( Black), our country's 'iron capital' is (hard), how can I still go to class? ... English teacher: When I talked about independent structure, according to the textbook requirements, I specially taught them this example sentence: "Our teacher es into the classroom, book under arm" (our teacher walked into the classroom with a book under his arm), But during the exam, all the students translated it as "the teacher entered the classroom with a book under his crotch."

… Music teacher: I’m in class, demonstrating a song.

After singing, all the students applauded.

I am very happy. I am thinking that other teachers may have wrong teaching methods. . But they gave me a negative answer before I could finish thinking about it. They shouted: "Teacher, that's great. You are the best vocalist among all the teachers. This is the first time we have heard such a duck call." !”.

4. Collect some funny sentences,

1. If you tell me to get out, I will get out. You asked me to come back, I'm sorry, get away.

2. The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

3. Go the route of the bull and let the fool speak!

4. Driving is not difficult, except for the newcomers!

5. Wear others’ shoes and walk your own path, and let others find shoes!

6. The mining disaster continues under review, and property prices rise under control!

7. If XP doesn’t show its power, you think I’m DOS!

8. A hero doesn’t care about the way out, and a rogue doesn’t care about his age!

9. Live well, because we will be dead for a long time! ! !

10. People are not smart, yet they still imitate others’ baldness! ! !

11. Don’t come to me if you have nothing to do, and don’t come to me if you have something to do.

12. I would rather fight with a sensible person than say a word to ***.

13. No matter how awesome Chopin is, he can’t express my sadness!

14. As long as you can dance well with a hoe, is there any corner that you can’t dig down?

15. You even believe the advertisements, and you will be fooled by reading!

16. To survive in the world, it is best to be a bachelor! ! !

17. Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you.

18. I can’t sleep for a long time in the morning; I feel like sleeping at night!

19. If a woman wants to please herself, she will allow a man to be poor if he wants to please himself!

20. You bald donkey, dare to compete with a poor Taoist for the master's wife?

21. Being humble is a universal truth, and you and I are just one of them.

22. Only women and English are difficult to find, only wives and jobs are difficult to find!

23. Make other people’s money and to hell with poverty!

24. Even believe has a lie hidden in the middle.

25. Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money!

26. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to notice it.

27. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say. Including this sentence and the previous two sentences. I have finished my words.

28. You cannot hang yourself from a tree. You have to try to hang yourself from several nearby trees several times.

29. Follow other people’s paths and leave others cornered.

30. Get away from me as far as your thoughts go.

31. Donkeys are always thinking too much.

32. Go to Google and Baidu.

33. Do you think I will watch you die! The most I can do is close my eyes.

34. Please don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay?

35. It’s been a long time since anyone has made cowhide so fresh and refined!

36. When I woke up, it was dark.

37. Any problem that money can solve is not a problem.

38. How can you lose weight if you don’t eat enough?

39. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

40. Money is not everything, sometimes a credit card is needed.

41. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

42. People are afraid of being famous and pigs are afraid of being strong, men are afraid of being poor and women are afraid of being fat.

43. Cherish life, if God still lets you live, then he must have His arrangements.

44. The highest state of work is to watch others go to work and receive other people’s wages.

45. Love is like poop. Once flushed, it will never come back. Love is like poop. Once it comes, it cannot be stopped. Love is like poop. It is the same every time. Too much~ Love is like poop, sometimes after working hard for a long time it’s just a fart!

46. In the past, gangsters were in the mountains, but now gangsters are in the police!

47. Those with wings are not necessarily angels, sometimes they are birds.

48. Stand high and pee far.

49. Do you eat with this mouth?

50. I’ll kick you out with a slap.

51. Urination is prohibited here, and offenders will have their tools confiscated.

52. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

53. Study hard for China! A pack of Chinese is a lot of money!

54. An instant hit is used to describe female artists!

5. Looking for a joke that can make the whole class laugh

My son has to sleep with his mother every night.

Mom said: When you grew up and got a wife, did you sleep with Mom? The son replied: Yes. Mom said: What should you do with your wife? The son said: Let her sleep with her father.

After hearing this, my father said excitedly: This child has been sensible since he was a child. One of his brothers has been suffering from constipation and has been unable to defecate in the toilet for a long time. When he was trying his best, he saw a brother rush into the toilet like a storm and enter. I got the seat next to him, and as soon as I walked in, there was a really violent storm. The brother enviously said to the other brother: Brother, I envy you so much. The brother said: Why are you envious? You haven’t taken off your pants yet~~ There was a hot day While playing mahjong, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy a candle and continue fighting. After half an hour, the heat became unbearable. One person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan, it's too hot." Another person said: "Can't turn it on. An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese who blew out the candles were all captured by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today." , I won’t eat you, but you will all have to suffer a hundred blows, but before you get hit, you can have one wish come true. "

The American was the one who took the board first. He said: "Before I take the board, give me a cushion first. ”

After the mat, the boards fell like raindrops; at first, 70 boards were okay, but after 70 boards, the seat cushions were smashed, and then the boards were bloody... After the beating, the United States left with a touch of *** . After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 10 mattresses.

After 1, 2, 3...100, the Japanese got up, patted their legs, and said it was okay; then they opened their mouths and said to themselves. He boasted about his ability to imitate and recreate, and wanted to sit back and watch the Chinese show. The Chinese slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Come on, put the Japanese on my back." ”

… A brother went to the restroom and accidentally entered the women’s restroom. After entering, he found that there was no urinal and it felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the women’s restroom. He walked out as if nothing had happened.

When I was opening the door, I met a girl coming in. The girl looked at him, blushed, lowered her head, turned around and went to the men's room. One day, there were too many people on the bus and it was very hot. I was so bored that I didn’t know who farted, which made the situation even worse. My friend couldn’t bear it, and he didn’t know who it was.

Just then, the conductor was asking: “Who didn’t buy a ticket? "My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket! "Suddenly, a very fat woman held the ticket high in her hand and said loudly: "I have already bought the ticket! "A sculpture was built in a new building of a university: a girl holding a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students outside the school. As a result, many people had the same slogan - Reading Top It’s just a waste! The situation of losing bicycles in school is very serious. New cars disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes if you are lucky, the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, who is in the same dormitory, bought a new transmission car. He would show off to everyone he met and say, “I have the latest lock on this car! "The next day, Xiaojing returned from her evening self-study with a depressed look. She also held a piece of paper in her hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days. ! A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again.

So I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and posted a note to the thief: Let’s see how you can “borrow” it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found that there were five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: Let's see how you keep riding! There were three tadpoles, and they went to a restaurant to eat. After waiting for a while, the first dish was served.

It’s a fried frog.. The three tadpoles sang in unison: I don’t want to, I don’t want to, don’t want to grow up. One day, Cao Cao captured Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei.

Cao Cao said to the three of them, each of you go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought out an apple. Cao Cao said that if they could stuff the fruit they brought into the cellar, he would let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while, but failed and was killed.

After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes. Cao Cao also said the same thing to him, and Guan Yu began to stuff them. When he stuffed the third grape, Guan Yu suddenly burst into laughter. As a result, he crushed the grape and was killed again.

After going down to the underworld, the King of Hell asked Guan Yu: "You are so stupid, why are you laughing? If you don't laugh, you won't die." Guan Yu sighed and said, "I don't want to either! Heaven is jealous of the beauty! I stuff it When I was eating the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu walking out with a durian in his arms. "I went to KFC yesterday. There was a couple behind me in the queue. They ordered a lot of food and then sat next to me. .

After sitting down, the girl began to eat hard, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy was nibbling French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?" The girl didn't even raise her head and said directly: "No!" The boy asked again: "It's not possible at all. "The girl said simply: "Not at all!" The boy was stunned, looking straight at her and staying there... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other. She felt that the boy was watching. She stopped eating, then looked at the boy with pitiful eyes, and whispered: "Then...can I still eat?" Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy was helpless and busy. Said: "Eat, eat..." This girl is so cute.

.If I don’t let you chase me, I will definitely chase you. .Desperate pursuit! ! ! ! I have always been restless in school. When I was a freshman, I went to self-study for the first time. I would sit in the classroom and feel depressed, and then I would go to the corridor to smoke.

Not long after I lit my cigarette, a PL girl came and asked, "We are studying in self-study now! Why did you run out?" I said, "You came out to smoke out of boredom, mm, which class are you in?" ? He ran out anyway. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, "That class!" At that time, I was so excited that I said, "Are we in the same class?" What, are you depressed too? She said: Well, a new student in our class ran out during self-study, so I came out to look for him.

I smiled, but it seems that there is still someone who can’t sit still. Why are you looking for him? You are not his mother! MM: I can’t help it, I’m his class teacher! I was confused at the time... A minute later, I held back a sentence: Teacher, you look so young... After Phelps won 8 gold medals: What are the swimming competitions of different countries in breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, and freestyle? 100, 200, 400, 1500.

6. Ask for the names of some very funny people

Laughter all the time] *The music teacher is called Pipe Organ, the bodybuilding teacher is called Chen Yaling, and the boiler heat treatment professional is called Wu Yanmei.

*There is a school doctor named "Duan Zhen" in the medical office of my middle school. We don't go to her for injections.

*I know a person named Zhu Yiqun and another named Yang Yizhi.

*Wu Ping An——is a driver.

*When I was in junior high school, the dean of the school was called "Jiao Hougen", which was pronounced exactly like "heel" in Suzhou dialect.

*The elder brother is called "Chen Cambridge" and the younger brother is called "Chen Fudan", but neither of them went to high school.

*There was a child named Zi Teng. It was originally a very elegant name, but his father’s surname was Du.

! ”

*A first-year student from Jiaotong University named “Fei Yan” made everyone laugh when the roll call came at the beginning of the semester. Later, he changed his name to "Fei Hongzhong". As a result, everyone who didn't laugh before fell down laughing this time.

*I have a patient named "Manager Tian" who is actually laid off.

*I have a classmate who is an electrician and his name is Pang Guangda.

*A friend surnamed Li, passed down through three generations, was blessed with a son. After thinking hard for several months, he finally got a name: Li Gen.