New sharing of ridiculous classic funny quotes in September

1. The rich second generation is the second generation that is heavily in debt.

2. People are like iron, and style is like steel. Don’t pretend to be panicked for a day!

3. Urination and defecation are prohibited here, and tools will be confiscated for violators

4. They say you look like Grandma Rong. In fact, your heart is full of beauty.

5. What matters these days is speed, otherwise you won’t even be able to keep up with the heat.

6. Don’t worry about eating, don’t worry about wearing clothes, sleep with a perm in your arms.

7. Listen to the treatment of constipation once or three times, and listen to the high-calcium fruit. Still want to hear it? Listen

8. The gangster is just my superficial job, my real identity is a gangster.

9. If there is really a ghost in the world, then marry me.

10. Friendly, I admire your cheekiness very much. I have never seen a woman as scary as you in my life

11. If you want to cry, I can hold you and let you cry loudly, and you can also use my clothes to wipe your Tears, and snot.

12. If you knew me in the past, maybe you would forgive me now!

13. Don’t kill me, I still have an acceptance speech

15. A fox is not a monster. Sexiness is not coquettish. A fox is not a spirit, but it is still coquettish.

16. Since ancient times, no one has ever died, either early or late.

17. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good blacksmith

18. The highest level of eating fried rice with eggs is to give it to your wife after eating.

19. You can like many people, but there is only one love. No matter how many people you like and how many times you fall in love, there will only be one person in the end.

20. I am not a sweetheart. Piaopiao, I'm just dichlorvos, do you want to hold me in the palm of your hand?

21. You go your sunny way, and I'll go mine underground.

22. The user you dialed is fighting monsters

23. I couldn’t buy a mobile phone, so I used my mobile phone to find you...

24. Okay Fire wastes charcoal, and a good girl wastes sweat,

25. The first kiss was dedicated to the earth, and the youth was dedicated to it

26. I remember the harsh taste of your anxious singing.

27. Ask what love is in the world, and one thing will come down to another! ! !

28. I turned into a gangster yesterday. The girl stared at me, and I blushed for the first time since I started playing gangster.

29. Gong Linna’s heart-rending voice. I wonder if she was a pig butcher in her previous life

30. Women like to hear men say that another woman is ugly, and men like to hear women say that another man is a failure. September Inspirational Quotations

1. Running to pursue goals is a state, trying your best to challenge the limit is a kind of happiness, and smiling beyond suffering is a kind of happiness.

2. For climbers, it is not a pity to lose the traces of the past, but it is very dangerous to lose the direction of continuing.

3. In the river of sweat, the strivers sail the boat of their career to the other side of their ideals.

4. Those who sow with tears will surely reap with smiles.

5. A good life should never be afraid of trouble. Only those who are not afraid of trouble can eventually overcome the trivialities of life and become its masters.

6. Many failures are not due to limited abilities, but because of failure to persist to the end.

7. Opportunities will not find you on their own initiative, you must show yourself.

8. Steering the rudder of destiny is struggle. Don’t have any illusions, don’t give up any opportunity, and don’t stop working hard every day.

9. Today will be cruel, tomorrow will be even crueler, and the day after tomorrow will be wonderful, but most people will die tomorrow night.

10. Difficulties and setbacks are not terrible. What is terrible is the loss of ambition and courage to be a human being.

11. Bees who are busy collecting have no time to talk in front of others.

12. You chase me and fight hard to be the first, bleeding and sweating without leaving any regrets.

13. Diligence is the password of your life and can translate a magnificent epic for you.

14. Please treat hard work as a habit, not a three-minute heat. Persistence is the key to success. Every achievement you envy is the result of hard work and hard work!

15. Let us replace the worries beforehand with thinking and planning beforehand!

16. The more setbacks in life, the more insights into life; the more life there is Every time you fall, you gain experience in fighting.

17. Any restriction starts from your own heart.

18. If you are afraid of the bumpy rocks ahead, your life will always be a pool of stagnant water.

19. Life is not an arrangement, but a pursuit. The meaning of life may never have an answer, but you should also enjoy this life without an answer.

20. You only have one life, you either succeed or you make do. If you don’t want to settle, work hard to achieve.

21. A person is not afraid of regretting what he has done in the future, but what he is afraid of is regretting what he has not done.

22. As long as you set goals and move forward step by step, there is always the possibility of a turnaround in your life. It’s never too late to change. Shocking alternative funny sayings

Are you familiar with this? Play a video if you have nothing to do. You can treat it as your TV. Just click on it and someone will appear.

For work, if you take a step back, the sky will be brighter; for love, if you take a step back, the sky will be empty.

The difficulty in marriage is that we fall in love with each other's strengths, but live with her shortcomings.

Tonight, let us keep warm with the cold war!

If you have a shoe-pad face, don’t blame others for stepping on it.

Mom said it’s best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

If a man doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a woman is too realistic. If a woman doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a man is too carefree.

If you can do it, try not to make any noise.

Have you been thrown up three times since you were born, but only caught twice?

Being handsome is useless! In the end, you won’t be eaten by pawns!

Who can be as loyal to my partner as I am to my renminbi?

Who can wait for me to make a comeback?

Be gentle with people and things. Don't lose your temper randomly, no one owes you anything.

The person I love has his own destiny. The people who love me are miserable.

If you like it, have it and don’t be afraid of the consequences.

It’s very painful now. When you look back after a while, you will realize that it was actually nothing.

Choosing a good man requires methods. Before you figure out the trick, you just need to learn to say no!

Some people can be easily erased by time. Like dust.

Rather than saying that others make you suffer, it is better to say that your own cultivation is not enough.

There was an abyss lurking in her heart, and no sound would be made even if a boulder were dropped.

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is: the latter has the right to comment on the former!

We had a small disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat it as gold. Gold is like dung.

I am small-minded, but I am not lacking. I am good-tempered, but not without it!

Some people look much better than real people when they put on a facial mask.

Cherish life--If God still lets you live, he must have His arrangements.

The two great tragedies in life: one is despair, the other is complacency.

Funny Quotes: Classic Shocking Jokes

A centipede was bitten by a snake and had to be amputated to prevent the venom from spreading! The centipede thought: Fortunately it has many legs~! ! The doctor comforted him: Brother, be considerate, you will be an earthworm in the future...

A farmer will kill chickens tomorrow. When feeding the chickens in the evening, he said: Eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down and leaving a suicide note: I have eaten rat poison, so you don’t want to eat me either. I am not someone to be trifled with~!

A group of ants climbed onto the elephant's back, but were shaken off. Only one ant held on to the elephant's neck tightly. The ants below shouted: strangle him, strangle him. He, the demo, even had sex!

A group of roosters chased a hen and crowed loudly. The hen was moved when she saw one of the roosters bowing his head and saying nothing. On the wedding night, the hen: You are so cool, why didn’t you crow then? Rooster: I drank too much that day...I'm afraid of vomiting

The little donkey asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while the cows only feed concentrate? The old donkey sighed: We men can't compare, we live by running errands , people rely on their breasts for food!

There was a parrot in a certain store. When customers came in, they said welcome. A girl didn’t believe it and left six times. The parrot said it six times in a row. On the seventh time, the parrot said angrily: Boss, there is someone here. Play with your bird!

A child stole a parrot raised in a brothel home. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot screamed: Moving! When he saw his mother, he yelled again: The boss has changed too! When he saw his sister, he shouted again: "The lady has changed too!" When he saw his father, he yelled again: We are still a regular customer!

A puppy climbed up on your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You said angrily: I will do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken, but the puppy licked it. After touching the chicken's butt, you passed out, and the puppy said happily: Let's see who is cruel.

You were walking on the road, and a female dog pounced on you and bit a piece of meat from your foot, and quickly swallowed it. When I was about to kick it, the dog said with tears: Go ahead, I already have your flesh and blood in my belly!

Mike: I'm sorry, I'm late, teacher, I dreamed about a football match. Teacher: Then why does it make you late? Mike: Because there was no tie between the two teams, overtime was played.

The son brought his girlfriend home: Mom, she is a very good girl, she can do laundry, cooking, cooking, housework, everything. Mother: Okay, I agree to hire her and let her come every Tuesday and Thursday

Secretary: Are you busy during my time off? Colleague: It’s okay, everyone is sharing your work. I read the newspaper, Xiao Zhang chatted on the phone, and Xiao Liu flirted with the boss.

One day, a certain gentleman’s wife gave birth to a baby. He hurried to the hospital to visit him. After waiting for n hours, crying came from the delivery room. He shouted happily, I am a father! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born with a congenital malformation. A certain gentleman stayed there and didn't understand the reason. Suddenly his wife shouted from the delivery room: It's all his fault. He read the post but didn't reply. It's retribution.

Father: "Did you put the letter I asked you to bring this morning into the report box?" Son: "Report? Oh, I did. You forgot to write your name. I added it to you!" ”

At the military meeting of small countries, one person said: Iraq is at war, and we should send them a tank. Second person: We should give them two tanks. Third person: Why not give them all three cars?

A group of people went camping at the beach. On the way, there was a person who kept eating fried soybeans. Everyone was afraid that his farts would "bring harm to the people" and advised him not to eat anymore. He said: You will set up camp in a while, and I will go to the sea to fry fish! My dear, I started to miss you again, and my love for you is growing tremendously every day, because someone told me, "The price of pork has increased, and you can sell it for a good price!"

The principal recognized it One of his former students: Are you John? "Yes, principal" "Look, I never forget the names of my students. What job are you doing now?" "Teaching under you"

The family went to the theater and bought tickets upstairs. But the son always leaned on the railing and looked down. The father said to his mother: Don't let him fall. The ticket downstairs is first class. If he falls, it will be troublesome to replace the ticket.

The girl from the church said to an old man: Please donate some money to God. The old man waved his hand: I won’t bother you. I will definitely see God before you do, and I am ready to give the money directly to Him when the time comes.

Patient: Doctor, do you believe I have pneumonia? Sometimes, while doctors are treating pneumonia, the patient dies of something else. The doctor smiled slightly: When I was treating pneumonia, the patient died of pneumonia.

The store sells checkered pajamas with numbers on them. Clinton is very surprised. The salesperson explains: If a flea bites you at night, you can say to your lover, "Levine, please scratch in square No. 17." "

Morrison bought a new pair of shoes but didn't wear them. A week later, my wife asked: "Why haven't you worn those shoes yet?" "You can wear them tomorrow. When I bought them, the salesperson said that these shoes would pinch my feet in the first week."