Han Fuqu's joke when he spoke at the university?

cheeloo university's Celebration Speech Han Fuqu, ladies, gentlemen, ladies, ladies, brothers, sisters, old and young: Good evening! Do you know today is the meeting day? (pretending to be mysterious) Today is the day of speech! It's the day of the meeting! The guests are very lush, and I really have a cold. (In high spirits) There are quite a few people present at the meeting today! Is everyone here? It seems that at least eight fifths (8/5) have come! Forget it, forget it (extremely impatient), forget it if you come, please raise your hand if you don't come! (Scanning the audience) No one raised their hands. Ok, everyone is here! (in high spirits) You all came here luxuriously, and I really caught a cold! (Thanks by bowing) Today, brother, I called everyone here, mainly to give a lecture. If there is anything wrong with brother, we should understand each other, because brother and I can't compare with each other. You are all literate, college students, middle school students and international students. You rabble are all from science, chemically, and know the English of several countries. Brother, I am a clown. (Shake your head, pause) You all climbed out of the pen, and I climbed out of the gun barrel, so compared with you, it really stood out from the crowd! (Sigh) Today, I can stand here and lecture with you, which really makes me proud and grateful. Actually, I am not qualified to speak to you, so talking is like-like-talking to cows! I'm not going to talk more about it today, but I'll start with three outlines: the new life movement of the generalissimo, and I applaud him with both hands, that is, there is one: pedestrians walk on the right, and I've been thinking about it for a few days, which is really inappropriate and confusing. Everyone is sensible. Think about it, pedestrians walk on the right, so who will leave the left? (Very angry) There is another thing, brother. I can't figure it out. Foreigners have built embassies in China. As the saying goes, why don't we China people build an embassy on our own site? To put it bluntly, I think China people are too weak, aren't we! (In a tone of consultation) Yesterday, I went to the university girls' school and saw that students were holding a basketball match. Boy, a dozen people were fighting for a ball in underpants. How unsightly. Everyone was educated. What was it like? If it wasn't for the corruption of your academic director, why was the school so poor? Buy a few more balls, and each person will give them one, so as not to fight for each other. It's decency! (I want to send it for a long time) Well, that's enough for today. Brother, I should be leaving now, too. (Make an evacuation form and go back) [Transfer from the Iron Blood Community/] Oh! Remember to collect some money from my mansion tomorrow and buy a ball for those poor girls! (leaving with joy)