My girlfriend said she was not happy, but I know that all the funny jokes have been told, and my wife knows a lot of jokes. Please tell me some particularly funny jokes.

1. The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry. Not so much."

"That's it." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

2. A little white rabbit ran happily in the forest.

On the way it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The little white rabbit said to the giraffe: "Giraffe, giraffe, you Why do things that hurt yourself?

Look how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!”

The giraffe looks at the marijuana smoke, look at it The little white rabbit threw the marijuana cigarette behind him and followed the little white rabbit running in the forest.

Later they met a big man who was preparing to smoke cocaine. Elephant,

The little white rabbit said to the elephant: "Elephant, why do you do things that hurt yourself?

Look how beautiful this forest is, let us Let’s run in nature together!”

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the little white rabbit, then threw the cocaine behind him and followed the little white rabbit. The rabbit and the giraffe were running in the forest.

Later they met a lion who was preparing to fight viper.

The little white rabbit said to the lion: "Lion, why are you doing this?" What about hurting yourself?

Look how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!”

The lion looked at the syringe and the little white rabbit , so he threw the syringe behind him,

rushed over and beat the little white rabbit hard.

The elephant and the giraffe were trembling with fear: "Why are you hitting?" Where is the little white rabbit?

It is so kind, caring about our health and asking us to get closer to nature."

The lion said angrily: "This bastard rabbit, every time he eats* *Just pulled me

Running around in the forest like an idiot.”

3. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river and caught nothing. Home.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still didn’t catch anything and went home.

On the third day, as soon as the little white rabbit arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you dare to use the fucking method again, If you use a radish as bait, I will crush you to death!

4. In order to test the strength of the three pol.ices in the United States, Hong Kong, and mainland China, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests to see who among the three pol.ices can find the rabbit first.

In front of the first forest was the American police. They spent half a day in a meeting to formulate a combat plan and strictly divided the work. Then they sent special forces to quickly enter the forest to conduct a blanket search. As a result, the meeting was delayed. Rabbit He ran away, the mission failed!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent more than a hundred people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest, with the leader shouting through a loudspeaker: " Rabbit, Rabbit, you have been surrounded, come out and surrender..." Half a day passed, but there was no movement. The Flying Tigers entered the forest and searched again, but no results were found. The mission failed!

Finally it was the Chinese pol. ice, there were only four of them. We played mahjong for a day. At dusk, each person took a baton and entered the forest. Within five minutes, they heard a burst of animal screams from the forest. The Chinese pol. ice person was smoking a cigarette and talking. He burst out laughing, dragging a bear with a bruised nose and swollen face behind him. The bear said dyingly: "Don't fight anymore, I am just a rabbit..."

5. The little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met When the big bad wolf came up to him, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I want you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit retreated aggrievedly.

The next day, she jumped out of the house wearing a hat, and met the big bad wolf again. He walked up to the little white rabbit and gave the little white rabbit two big mouths, saying, "I Let you wear a hat."

Rabbit was depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, Tiger said, "Okay, I understand. I will handle this matter. You have to trust the organization." That same day, the tiger found his buddy, the big bad wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's making it difficult for me." After saying that, he wiped the cigarette ashes falling on the table: "Do you think this is okay? You can say, Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat." Go! She asked for a fat one, and you said you wanted a thin one. Then you could beat her up, Tutu. I’m looking for a woman. She’s looking for a plump one, and you say you like a slim one. She’s looking for a slim one, and you’re looking for a plump one. You can beat her properly and forcefully.” The big bad wolf nodded frequently and clapped his hands, and his respect for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance work was overheard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I feel this hatred in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence, the big bad wolf came towards him. The Big Bad Wolf said: "Rabbit, come here and find me a piece of meat." Rabbit said: "Then, do you want a fat one or a thin one?" After hearing this, the Big Bad Wolf's heart sank. Another joy, I said to myself, luckily there is Plan B. He then said: "Tutu, find me a woman quickly." Tutu asked: "So, do you like plump ones or slim ones?" The big bad wolf was silent for 2 seconds, raised his hand and said more I gave Tutu two big-eared posts. “Fuck, I told you not to wear a hat.

”

7. A rabbit molested a wolf (this rabbit must be very strong),

then ran away, and the wolf chased it angrily,

Seeing that the wolf was about to catch up, the rabbit sat down under a tree,

put on his sunglasses, read a newspaper, and pretended Nothing happened.

At this time, the wolf ran over and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree.

asked: "Did you see a rabbit running past?" "

The rabbit replied: "Is it a rabbit that molested the wolf?"

The wolf shouted: "No way! It was in the newspaper so quickly!!!"

8. One day a little white rabbit came to a store and asked the boss: "Boss, are there any carrots? "

The boss shook his head: "No. "

After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away.

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked: "Boss, are there any carrots?" "

The boss shook his head angrily: "No. "

After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away.

On the third day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked: "Boss, are there any carrots?" ”

The boss shouted angrily: “No, no!” If you ask again I will use pliers to pull out your teeth! "

After hearing this, the little white rabbit ran away.

On the fourth day, the little white rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly: "Boss, do you have pliers?" ? "

The boss said: "No. "

The little white rabbit then asked: "Are there any carrots? ”

I don’t know how many days passed, but a little black rabbit came to the store and asked the boss: “Boss, are there any carrots?” "

The boss shook his head angrily: "No. "

After hearing this, the little black rabbit ran away.

The next day the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked: "Boss, are there any carrots?" ”

The boss was very angry: “No, no!” If you ask again I will use pliers to pull out your teeth! "

After hearing this, the little black rabbit ran away.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly: "Boss, do you have pliers?" ? "

The boss said angrily: "No. "

The little black rabbit then asked: "Are there any carrots? ”

The boss was angry, caught the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer, and knocked out the little black rabbit’s teeth.

The little black rabbit came again on the fourth day I went to this store and asked vaguely: "Boss, do you have carrot juice?" ”

9. The giraffe said: “Little rabbit, I really hope you can know how good it is to have a long neck.” No matter what delicious food I eat, it will slowly pass through my long neck, and the delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The rabbit looked at him expressionlessly.

"And, in the summer, rabbit, the cold water slowly flowing over my long neck is so delicious. It’s so nice to have a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? "

The rabbit said slowly: "Have you ever vomited? ”

10. One day, the kangaroo was driving around on the country road and suddenly saw the little white rabbit in the middle of the road, with its ears and body almost completely lying on the ground as if listening to something...

So... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously: "Little white rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?" "

"A large truck passed here half an hour ago..."

"Wow...so awesome! ..how did you know? .."

"His ****! This is how my neck and legs were broken..."

11. The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly encountered an elephant. The ant quickly dug into the soil and stretched out one leg.

The little white rabbit was very curious when he saw it, and asked: What are you doing?

The ant quietly said to it:

Shh... don't make a sound, watch me trip. Yayi somersault...

12. One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave. A wolf came over and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing?" "

The rabbit replied: "I am writing a thesis.

"

The wolf asked again: "What topic? "

The rabbit replied: "I am writing how the rabbit ate the wolf. "

The wolf laughed loudly and expressed disbelief.

The rabbit said: "You follow me. "Then after taking it into the cave, the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. At this time, another fox came and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing? "

The rabbit replied: "I am writing a thesis. "

The fox asked: "What topic? "

The rabbit replied: "How did the rabbit eat a fox. "

The fox laughed loudly after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said: "You follow me. "Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, a lion was sitting on a pile of bones inside the cave. Picking his teeth, he also read Rabbit's paper: The ability of an animal is not determined by its strength, but by who is the boss behind it!

13. In a mental hospital! , one day the dean wanted to see how the three mental patients were recovering, so he put a little white rabbit in front of each of them. The first mental patient sat on top of the little white rabbit and grabbed the little white rabbit's legs. With two ears, he yelled "drive", and the dean shook his head; the second person turned his back to the little white rabbit, patted its butt, and said "chasing", and the dean sighed; the third person The three squatted there and touched the little white rabbit. The dean looked at it and nodded with satisfaction. He only heard him say: "Young man, let me go 300 meters, and I will chase you after I clean the car!" "The dean fell to the ground and fainted...

14. The little white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree to defecate.

The big bear said to the little white rabbit: You little ones Although the white rabbit looks good, it is troublesome! It can be seen if it is stained with dirt, which is quite disgusting!

The little white rabbit said: Look at what you said! Isn’t it right!

Big Bear said: Isn’t it? As he said that, Big Bear picked up the little white rabbit, wiped his butt and walked away...