Collecting the best and funniest travel ads!

Category: Electronics and Digital >> Mobile Phones/Communications >> Mobile Phone Use

Problem Description:

Collecting the best and funniest travel advertisements!

Analysis:

1. If people are not stupid, I will not be stupid. If people are mean, I will be even meaner. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——Party dress principles summarized by columnist Shen Hongfei.

2. The princes began to live in seclusion, and all the women saw were white horses.

——An urban cattle herder in Nanjing said in the column "I am a hunter with a gun" that the era of Prince Charming seems to be over, and only animal instinct is left, "So I don't In principle, simplicity is the responsibility of women, or in other words, it is forced by Mu Zimei." [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/ ]

3. Choose the younger ones and the stronger ones. The first point reflects fairness, and the second point is survival probability.

——Some people quoted the standard of priority rescue objects in snow mountain climbing to answer the dilemma that troubles many men: "If a mother or daughter-in-law falls into the water, which one should be rescued first?"

4. Let men become monks. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——A netizen joked. Currently, the ratio of boys to girls among newborn babies in China is 116.86:100, which is much higher than the normal value of 105:100. To achieve a normal sex ratio at birth, Chinese people's current concepts of marriage and childbearing and childbearing culture must be changed.

5. Zhang Fei is Cao Cao’s niece and son-in-law.

——Shen Bojun, a researcher at the Sichuan Academy of Social Sciences and vice president of the China "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" Society, has new insights after more than 20 years of painstaking research. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

6. For example, when I am the director of the department, I only consider the position of the director of the government. When I become the director, I will consider the position of provincial governor, and when I become the provincial governor, I can consider the position of prime minister. But now that I am a village chief, I cannot immediately think of the position of prime minister.

——When Jia Pingwa took stock of 2003, he said that the book "Shame" that won the Nobel Prize that year was good, but he felt that the Nobel Prize was relatively far away for Chinese writers.

7. Changed? [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——Many people think that the semantics of the laundry detergent advertisement "Did you soak? Did you bleach?" are ambiguous, but in fact, they have been "replaced."

8. If you survive a disaster, you will be blessed later. I have to buy a lottery ticket right away!

—— Gan Li, an 18-year-old girl from Chongqing, said after escaping from the fire on February 4. She once wanted to jump off the 8th floor, but later climbed down using a rope. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

9. Yesterday it was "turtle (return)", today it is "kelp (wait)".

——In the past 20 years, nearly 600,000 Chinese have studied abroad. In recent years, it has been very obvious that returnees have found it difficult to find jobs in the domestic talent market and their values ??have depreciated.

10. Friends of friends are friends, enemies of friends are enemies, and friends of enemies are enemies. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——Peking University professor Zhang Weiying used this metaphor to warn the business community to choose honest people to cooperate (friends of friends), isolate liars (enemies of friends) and those who help others to do harm (enemies) friends).

11. Historically, when a large number of men were unable to get married, they would get together and either become monks or form gangs...

——A movie called "The Bachelor" : The Security Implications of Male Overpopulation in Asia" has attracted widespread attention. The book takes aim at China and India, two of the world's most populous countries with a high proportion of men. By 2020, the bachelor class in both countries will account for 12% to 15% of young adult males. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

12. Learning English is like brushing your teeth. The most important thing is not toothpaste or toothbrush, but persistence and opening your mouth every day.

——Tsinghua University chef Zhang Liyong, who scored 630 on the TOEFL, talks about his experience in learning English.

13. Only fakes are real, everything else is fake. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——Consumers complain about the ubiquity of fake and shoddy goods

14. Among the things that can change a man, alcohol is the most powerful, followed by It’s women, then power, and finally truth.

——A sentence from Zhang Xin's novel "Deep Throat". [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

15. Opportunity is like a rapidly rotating revolving door. When the gap comes to you, you must squeeze in quickly.

——Chen Tianqiao talks about the secret of Shanda’s successful operation of online games.

16. Doctor, please take out the baby and perform liposuction on me. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——A woman in Guangzhou said to the doctor before a caesarean section.

17. The Chinese New Year is like a pot of soup that has been simmering for thousands of years. Although fresh ingredients are constantly being added, the original taste is getting weaker and weaker.

——With the increasing number of modern elements such as traveling, clubbing, and sports, the Chinese New Year in the traditional sense seems to be getting further and further away from people in the city. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

18. Setting off fireworks is a custom, but custom does not equal rights. Before the founding of New China, it was also custom for women to bind their feet.

—A netizen talked about banning fireworks.

19. I am just a drop of water, not soapy water, and I cannot blow bubbles. /)Hy[Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——People's Literature Publishing House intended to invite Yang Jiang to attend a seminar on the works of its newly published collection, but Yang Jiang politely declined.

20. How will I deal with someone who talks about me, humiliates me, insults me, scolds me, destroys me, bullies me, lies to me, or harms me? Allow him, let him, let him, do his best, let him, let him, let him, help him, and see him in a few years.

——The business philosophy understood by Wang Chi, the "King of Money" in Yunnan. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

21. You can never rest, otherwise, you will rest forever.

——True testimonials from white-collar workers in Beijing CBD.

22. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——Young writer Han Han said in an interview.

23. The smartest thing about Bill Gates is not what he did, but what he didn’t do.

—— Chen Tianqiao of Shanda Company often says: With Bill Gates’ strength, he can buy New York and do real estate, but he focuses on the research and development of his own operating system and software. , and not be attracted by other temptations in the market. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

24. Wealth may not necessarily attract friends, but it will definitely attract thieves, robbers and liars.

——The life of the new rich is not always as comfortable as imagined. More often than not, wealth not only fails to bring happiness, but also causes them to suffer from "sudden wealth syndrome".

25. If the management team of an enterprise is the nervous system of the enterprise, then the CEO is the nerve center of the enterprise. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

- When companies span the world and become an "empire on which the sun never sets," CEOs have to live a life of topsy-turvy work and rest.

26. Use vitality to burn the life *** that is about to retreat, use constant self-denial to guard against the conservatism that may take advantage of it at any time, and use the life philosophy of love and proficiency to enjoy to reject the Puritans. Be wise and wise to protect yourself, be pure and have few desires.

——"New Weekly" interprets F40 (born in the 1960s) [Reposted from the iron-blooded community bbs.tiexue/]

27. Beauty is a paradise for the eyes and a paradise for the soul. It's hell for you, it's purgatory for your wallet.

——The media quoted a French writer’s description of beauty to warn men.

28. Our business is like walking in the dark, naked and naked, no one can see anyone. Suddenly it gets bright and everyone feels embarrassed in broad daylight. . [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/ ]

——The arena of global competition has a huge space for Chinese companies, and the requirements for dance skills are also very high.

29. Computers can indeed save time and improve work efficiency. For example, there is no need to shuffle the cards when playing card games

—A white-collar worker talks about computers. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

30. When the number of psychological clinics on the street exceeds the number of nightclubs, and the income of psychotherapists is higher than that of escort girls, the Chinese people’s psychology Health can be truly and effectively maintained.

——Cong Zhong, executive deputy director of the Center for Clinical Psychology of Peking University, believes that the number of psychological counselors in China is extremely short, and only rich people can enjoy psychotherapy consultation

31. Opportunities like A thief arrives silently, but leaves with heavy losses. [Reprinted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/ ]

—A father’s advice to his son who is unemployed at home.

32. Relationships are like clay rice bowls, which will break; diplomas are like iron rice bowls, which will rust; skills are like golden rice bowls, which will increase in value.

——At the graduation ceremony of a certain university, an old teacher who had been teaching for many years gave this sentence to the students. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

33. As long as there are prey, hunters seem to have no reason to rest.

— "I am like a hunter, constantly helping different multinational companies hunt in the Chinese market. Of course, these companies are also my prey first." A professional manager said frankly.

34. When you bow your head at work every day, you are writing history. The key lies in whether you are determined to change history every day instead of repeating it. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——It is said to be the secret to maintaining enthusiasm for work.

35. Both mathematics and physics require "guessing". But physics has less logical components, while mathematics is more about logic. If you are good at "guessing", you can learn physics, and those who are good at logical thinking can learn mathematics.

——Nobel Prize winner in physics and famous scientist Yang Zhenning said. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

36. No matter how much you pay, how much work you do will make you step forward; how much work you do, how much money you earn will make you progress.

——Chen Ping, the boss of home delivery, is good at psychological manipulation of employees.

37. A key lost in the dark cannot be found under a bright streetlight. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

——Many consulting companies use existing consulting products and models to gauge the pulse of enterprises, often in completely opposite directions.

38. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but I have been living under your bed for several months. I died unjustly. Please hand over my body to the police. Let’s do it!

——Horror text messages have become popular among the “text message people”. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

39. There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed. I suspect it is frost on the ground. I look up at the bright moon. My name is Guo Degang. (Quotations by Guo Degang)

40. The executioner shouted: "Put down the stinky tofu! Release the hostages! Raise your hands and surrender! This is your only chance... (Quotations from "Wulin Gaiden")

< p> 41. On June 6, 1644, the Manchus invaded Beijing and made outstanding contributions to the future of Chinese TV dramas. (A Shanghai poet commented on the proliferation of Qing dramas nowadays.) [Reprinted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

42. I’m pretty and single. There’s no way a man wouldn’t be interested in me! I dare to wear things that others don’t dare to wear, I dare to say things that others don’t dare to say, and I dare to do things that others don’t dare to do. I dare to do it! I am like a peach, and Wong Kar-wai is a juicer. (Quotes from Zhang Ziyi) 43. If you don’t decide on internal matters, ask your wife. If you don’t decide on external matters, ask Google. (Quotes from netizens. Why not ask! Baidu? I asked Baidu first and then Google.

)

44. China Mobile responded immediately to the “Grandson Plays in M-Zone” campaign recently launched by China Unicom with Jay Chou’s grandfather as its image spokesperson. They claimed that they had signed a contract with Yao Ming’s father and would soon Carry out large-scale publicity with the slogan "Son in a new time and space, Laozi in a global connection". [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

Then, China Unicom hired 82-year-old newlywed Professor Yang Zhenning as its new image spokesperson. The slogan was: "I can still do it!" In order to counterattack, China Mobile immediately hired Yang Zhenning His wife Weng Fan is the spokesperson for the new image, and the slogan is: "If you can't, I can make you can!~~~" (rumors in the world)

45. The iron fences on a certain university campus are all pointed. The warning sign on it is as follows: If a boy turns the page accidentally, he will become a girl... If a girl turns the page accidentally, she will become a woman...

46. Women should not read too much, because in the In the minds of men: the junior college student is Xiao Longnu, the undergraduate is Huang Rong, the graduate student is Zhao Min, the doctoral student is Li Mochou, the postdoctoral fellow is Miejie Shitai, and the combination of master's and doctoral degrees is even more terrifying - the legendary "Invincible East" ! ! ! [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

Men should not read too much, because in the minds of women: a college student is Wei Xiaobao, an undergraduate is Duan Yu, a graduate student is Ding Dian, a doctoral student is Chen Jialuo, and a postdoctoral fellow is Ouyang Feng, who is studying for a master's degree and a Ph.D. - he is the terrifying "Yue Buqun"! ! !

47. All three of our family are studying for MBAs. (Shanghai launched a children’s MBA education program with a tuition of NT$20,000 for two years. More than 700 children competed for admission. A certain white-collar worker made the above-mentioned words of pride.)

48. The true meaning of an iron rice bowl is not to live in one place for a lifetime. Food, but food to eat wherever you go throughout your life. [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

49. "I feel very small in front of Chairman Mao's body. It is a great honor for me to have the opportunity to visit the memorial hall." (Boxing champion Tyson went to commemorate Chairman Mao Tang paid homage to the remains of the great man he had admired throughout his life. Over the years, Tyson had not concealed his love for Chairman Mao. He once said: "Chairman Mao was a great man with power." Tyson also had Chairman Mao's face tattooed on himself. On his right arm, he once read through "Selected Works of ***")

50. If you want to interview me, you must first go to bed with me; I will give you as long as you can in bed. time interview. (The reply a male reporter from a media outlet in Beijing received when requesting an interview from Mu Zimei.)

51. Will you sleep with me? (A company’s mattress advertisement.) [Reposted from Tiexue Community bbs.tiexue/]

52. As a mayor, you should try your best to provide various services to the citizens, but I am sorry that this is not included. (Andy Lau’s ex-girlfriend Yu Kexin claimed that Taipei Mayor *** is his ideal artificial insemination target, *** responded.)

53. What’s wrong with cross-strait cooperation to make the world’s money? (Lien Chan’s speech at Peking University was the most stirring speech.)...[size][/size][size][/size]