Joke Collection Website - News headlines - The doctor at the black-hearted hospital neglected his duty and gave back the lives of my wife and children!
The doctor at the black-hearted hospital neglected his duty and gave back the lives of my wife and children!
Author: Mortal Doctor
There is a restaurant in Porcelain Village that costs only 1 cent. I have worked in this hotel for many years and have witnessed many bizarre stories, which I want to tell you today. You have to be interested.
(1) Public Welfare Canteen
This hotel was built in the late 1970s. The canteen of the production team is mainly used to maintain the operation of the production team with funds. Villagers only pay 1% of meals for every meal you can eat. Of course, the food is also very simple, steamed buns with radish and cabbage.
The leader of the production team told us: "The canteen is a public institution that reflects the interests of the public. The employee canteen fulfills its sacred duty of rescuing the hungry." "We have been teaching these to our hearts. Some villagers cannot afford to pay even a penny for meals. We let them in and eat for free. There are often beggars at the door of the canteen. We give them food from the kitchen. In any case, these are made by The production team pays the bill. As a result, our canteen has always had a good reputation because we wear white coats at work.
In the 1980s, the canteen was owned by the village committee. Management. Although the cost of each meal has risen to 50 cents, the canteen fully subsidized by the village committee has allowed the villagers to enjoy the price of "eating for a penny" and has been "saving hunger from hunger" in the staff canteen. Sacred duty.
(2) Smart Mayor
In the early 1990s, the village chief said that the bungalows in the village were too shabby and wanted to build an office building. All village cadres expressed support. The chorus, the village head in charge of infrastructure, the brother-in-law is? The cousin in charge of the village leader in logistics cheered even louder. Many branches of the village committee, plowing department, sowing, watering, harvesting, threshing unit, scavenger, pig, pig killing, pig selling department...etc., per person per 400 sqm of office space , to build at least an 80-story building, but where will this funding come from?
The smart mayor held a village meeting for three days and three nights, and finally came up with a smart solution: changing the name of the canteen to "Blue and White Theme Hotel", which is "market-oriented", the village bureau said Allocating 40% of the canteen, the canteen increased by 60%. The so-called "self-financing" means letting the canteen eat the villagers' money. This can reduce the financial burden on the village and save enough money to pay for the construction
After one minute of accounting, the village committee’s accountant said: “Now the average cost of subsidy for each meal is 1.2 yuan, and the village canteen is 1.8 yuan. The meal has gone up. The meeting was adjourned to make arrangements
The village chief stared at the accountant and shouted: "Are you crazy? The villagers are already price-sensitive. The village committee announced that the cost of food has risen to 180. The village committee has been hit.
The accountant said: "Is this what it should be? If you can't eat, how can you rely on the canteen?" Self-financing?
The village chief smiled slightly and said: "I have a way!
(3) Cutlery to Improve Canteen Red Tape
The next day, the China Village Council released a report titled "Tableware to Improve Canteen Red Tape." The document is now available at The canteen charges "tableware fees" from customers to solve the problem of insufficient funds, and the income from the tableware fees will be used to make up for the lack of meal income.
From then on, Gone are the days when villagers went to the canteen and paid 1-5 yuan for tableware, in addition to paying 1 cent for the meal. Villagers discuss: Village committee controls rising food costs, truly people who love the people! The canteen charging fees for tableware is really greedy! "
lt;/And in the 1990s, the Porcelain Village had an excellent, good, not small good, economic situation. The village committee continued to buy 18 Mercedes-Benz 18 wide, 18 Passat, the village The two young daughters who grew up and raised their sons are on the other side of the river, with the Mackie Rick Village School. The village committees’ salaries have continued to rise due to the generous donations from other villages affected by the disaster.
Of course, what the villagers don’t know is that the village committee’s funding ratio dropped to 10% in 1998.
10% of the funds are often not received on time, and sometimes the village committee defaults on the account. Although the "Porcelain Hotel" also claims to be a public cafeteria, it is actually almost the same as a self-funded private hotel.
During this period, the village committee also felt that the 1-cent meal was ridiculously low, so it also proposed several more. In 1998, the cost of food was transferred by 2 yuan. However, when food-grade prices have also increased a lot, and the cost of each meal has risen to 5-20 yuan, the income from meals plus tableware fees is still not enough to recover the cost. The canteen did not purchase some mid-to-high-end tableware "cutlery fees" to increase the income of the meals to make up for the loss. In addition, the canteen also launched high-end dishes of South African abalone, Australian lobster, and Kobe beef. These dishes can be individually priced at a cost of 2 yuan and sold for hundreds of yuan. They not only satisfy the needs of high-end customers, but also increase income.
(D) Four aspects of problems
In 2000, the accountant ordered an investigation report on the canteen and reported to the village chief, and the village committee found several problems.
The first question: With the increase in prices and updated recipes, the cost of each meal has risen to 10-30 yuan. However, according to the pricing village committee, the cost of the food is still only $2. Even with cutlery fees and a small amount of revenue from high-end dishes, the canteen is still a loss. If this situation continues, the cafeteria will be closed. If the canteen is closed and villagers have no place to eat, it will then be reported to the village committee. How to avoid canteen closure?
The second question came up several times: the villagers’ demand for catering has increased compared with before, and the canteens have to work. However, the establishment of staff canteens has not increased. Therefore, it is normal for existing employees in the canteen to be overloaded for a long time. They work from 3:00 to 23:00 every day and get off work at night. Customers experience having dinner late at night, and they can only work overtime with great energy. This increased workload will not be completed by adding more personnel, but existing employees will work overtime for free, give up holidays, and sacrifice their personal interests to complete it. If there are objections in the staff canteen, how to resolve them?
The third question: In the past 20 years, the food and beverage industry has brought about tremendous changes. Modern catering has become a high-tech industry. A person who wants to be a chef or waiter needs to score enough to be admitted to college and study for five years as an undergraduate. Most people study for three years as a master's degree. The position of chef, cook, and foreman is even if only a doctor is hired. Before new employees can start working officially, they go through a long and difficult probation period and a low-paying rotation period, starting with picking vegetables, washing dishes, mopping the floor, and serving dishes. I have officially entered the work of a lifetime of education, study, research, sought after at the forefront of the food and beverage industry, in order to do this job and keep my job. Food taste, color, shape, furnace, nutrition, health requirements of customers, filled stomach capacity, knife accuracy, quantity, accuracy, etc. as well as supporting services, canteen staff must follow complex and strict technical standards, Seiko Careful work and careful service; once an omission occurs, it may be in court that the defendant is convicted and sentenced. Therefore, the difficulty of working in the staff canteen, workload, psychological pressure and risks for practitioners are greater than that of others. Canteen workers are significantly more expensive than most other occupations, but canteen workers' wages are not high. If there are objections in the staff canteen, how to resolve them?
The fourth question: The villagers have to pay heavy taxes, but cannot enjoy a penny of benefits. In addition to spending 200 yuan on cost-effective food to eat, they also spend a few yuan to dozens of yuan on tableware. , if you want to eat abalone, lobster, they have to spend hundreds of dollars. Therefore, the villagers have complained that "eating is expensive". The staff canteen, stoves, desks, tableware and other resources are relatively tight during peak hours. They came to eat and could not even find a table. The delivery speed would be slow. Therefore, the villagers complained that "eating is difficult." The villagers eat you "and" eat hard. Due to the reduction of canteen funds in the village, it is a strange village. How to avoid being discovered by the villagers?
After listening to these four questions, the village chief didn't say a word and simply smoked. The accountant did not dare to speak out, but just looked at the village chief silently.
Waiting until a bag of cigarettes was smoked, the village chief and the accountant turned around and asked: "Do you think the staff canteen is a person or a god?" The village chief Hulu calculated that the accountant selling drugs had already answered honestly: "When... Of course, if you are not a god, what is it?" The village chief nodded and said, "This is a good thing!" As long as it is a human being and not a god, it will be easy to handle. "
The village chief obviously has a good idea!
(5) Stone 4 Carvings
The next afternoon, the village chief gave the accountant who audited the canteen The village chief ran back and forth excitedly: Investigate! I found it! "
The village chief said: "Don't worry, sit down and speak slowly
The accountant sat down. Taking a deep breath, he continued: “I have carefully reviewed the canteen’s tableware account and finally found that they received a $1,000 tax rebate from the supplier for purchasing abalone. Among them, 5 million yuan was used to purchase disinfection cabinets, about 100 yuan was used to repair the stove, 1 million yuan was used to replace light bulbs and faucets, and each cadre received a bonus of 30 yuan. After cooking for a long time, the last chef and waiter were repaid last month. Wages in arrears range from 5 yuan to 10 yuan per person. "
After listening to the report, the village chief smiled slyly: "Okay! I know, they are humans, not gods! "
The accountant didn't understand and asked the village chief: "What do you mean?" "
Village Dongtou said: "They are not gods, so they cannot expect to change the practical, table and chair dishes of rice and meat dishes. Without funds, you can only rely on dishonesty to keep the canteen operating. They are not gods, so they can't help but make the poor miserable, with high incomes and low returns, and they will try to make up for it with dishonest earnings. "
The accountant asked sarcastically: "So, let the village not, we should sue the brakes for dishonesty? "
The village chief said categorically: "No, I just want them to engage in dishonesty?! "
No wonder the accountant asked, "Why?"
The village sighed and said: "Deficit, you and I have been here for so many years. How can we go back on the four issues? The canteen you mentioned yesterday cannot make ends meet. The second is the bitter and tired workers. One-third You are a low-income worker, and the fourth is that it is difficult for the villagers to eat your food. You said, because of four questions? "
The accountant replied without hesitation: "I know! The canteen cannot make ends meet because the village has enough funds to go to the canteen, and they do not make the staff canteen miserable because the village canteen is too expensive, and the price of the canteen is too high; there is no money to hire temporary staff, and the staff canteen has a meager income because the village canteen collects too much salary. Low, your villagers eat, fund the canteen of the small village, the canteen only has money for the villagers, the villagers eat "compared with" 1 cent before, think of eating yours, the villagers suffer because of less funds And building villages to go to canteens, canteen construction, lack of staff. "
The village chief said: "Yes, your job as accountant is still not in vain. Then tell me, in the final analysis, whose responsibility is it for these four problems? "
The accountant was about to say something, but he swallowed it back.
The village chief asked sharply: "Whose responsibility do you think it is? "
The village chief, who was frightened by the accountant, stammered in reply: "Yes, yes, it is the village's responsibility..."
The village chief sneered twice , laughed twice, they laughed twice, and finally the accountant said pleasantly: "You guessed it right, but I think the people in the village think this is a canteen for responsible employees!" "
The accountant was puzzled and asked: "How can they believe it? "
The mayor said: "It's just going to the canteen to do evil things! On the surface, the village committee is cracking down on kickbacks, but in fact it condones and even encourages the canteen to take kickbacks from suppliers! "
The village chief continued: "Kickbacks are a good thing. First, the kickbacks provided by the canteen provide a source of funds to make up for the lack of rice. The price is too low and the loss of funds keeps the village's funds short of maintaining the canteen's operation, covering up the fact. Second, kickbacks can be used to provide employees with generous salaries and bonuses to appease employees and make them forget their fatigue and be willing to work overtime and sacrifice their lives. Third, according to the general concept of villagers, "kickbacks" are definitely unfair.
When the villagers heard about the kickbacks received by the canteen, they would definitely hate the canteen, so they looked at the canteen staff and vented their dissatisfaction. Village Committee, we will not ask for trouble; at the same time, The village committee pretends to give kickbacks from time to time, but it also wins the support and respect of the villagers. In this way, as you said yesterday, it will not cost a penny to solve the village committee!
The accountant’s mouth was wide open. It took him a long time to come back to his senses and exclaimed: “Village Chief, you are so clear! There are four stone sculptures!
( VI) Launch of Villager Bucket Canteen
In the clear sky and sunny China Village office building, on the 44th floor, in room 4444, there was a mobilization meeting for the propaganda work of China Village. The group leader, slogan captain, and safety committee director personally presided over the meeting and attended the meeting.
The village chief instructed that some "confusion" should be contained in future media reports in the canteen.
First of all, confusion with "passive nourishment" and "active profit-seeking" canteen supplier rebates, tableware fees for high-end tableware, meals for high-end meals and other income, relying on funds and food costs of 2 yuan, unable to maintain operations . If the chefs and waiters in the canteen do not recommend high-end tableware and high-end meals to customers, they will be dismissed for a long time. The canteen cannot wait for the collapse, and the workers will not wait to be fired, so they are mainly performing. The policy passively nourishes their livelihood, but must allow the villagers to actively seek profits through publicity and education, and use professional skills to get rich. Their hatred inspired the villagers.
Second, they were Confusing "reasonable income" and "huge profit income". Measured by the technical content, difficulty, risk, workload, price paid, etc. of the industry, the reasonable income level of canteen workers should be around 1,000 yuan, but now most workers, even if With rebates, you can only get a salary of 600 yuan. The particularity of the industry must be obliterated by promoting occupations with low income levels, low education, low skills, low difficulty, low risk, and low labor intensity compared with education, and make full use of villagers' The "inequality" mentality makes the villagers and staff canteens take 600 yuan as a huge profit, inspiring hatred among the villagers canteen staff.
BR /gt; Third, it confuses the government’s lost leadership with ordinary workers in the canteen. It is true that some leaders get unexpected income through kickbacks, thousands of dollars a month, but in The percentage of people is less than 1%. In fact, 99% of ordinary workers earn low wages, but work overtime, endure hardships, are not afraid of sacrifice and dedication. Through publicity and education, we have convinced the villagers that all staff canteens rely on kickbacks. , to obtain an unexpected fortune, they are all extremely rich, with eight houses, ten cars, and a hundred-year-old wife. Their hatred inspired the villagers.
lt;BR/IV, to confuse the public with "Although the price is high bill" and "Unfair price high bill" some high-end food is considered to be high-priced, but when the media reports it, you have to dilute the food itself The quality and value of the bills were emphasized, so the villagers said that the canteen was being slaughtered, which aroused the hatred of the villagers.
The village chief concluded: "The staff canteen is bound to be ordinary people." with all the drawbacks of ordinary human beings. You have to dig carefully, amplify the trivial, and exaggerate the commonplace. The villagers believe that the big corrupt house criminals in the staff canteen are heinous murderers and guilty of dereliction of duty. When it comes to disputes between customers and the canteen, you have reported the voices of customers at large, especially in thick and colorful renderings of how miserable and helpless the customers are. At the same time, you have underreported or failed to use the reported voices in the canteen instead of giving the canteen any excuses. To seize and find out the facts, first determine the employee canteen that is definitely guilty, and first determine that customers must have no way to complain. "One person reports" type, a group of people in the canteen completely stunk. After the negative image of the canteen was set up, they were suspected of committing crimes for the purpose of profit, and their good intentions were also suspected. The villagers clarified that they would no longer listen to their excuses and the sophistry of the villagers. They work overtime, endure hardships, and their sacrifices and dedication will be completely ignored.
The villagers believe that "it is difficult to eat your dinner in the staff canteen!"
/gt; Since then, news reports exposing and criticizing the canteen and staff canteen will not stop, every year or two, But it also set off a climax.
(G) 2000$ Bread
One day in 2008, a villager went to the canteen to eat bread. He took a bite and sighed: "It tastes a little bit! Boiled fish!" The waiter served the water Zhu Yu, who could accommodate one meal, said: "It's too hot and can't be eaten!" The waiter brought the recipe, and the three of them ordered 1,200 yuan of lobster and a bottle of 1,000 yuan of Maotai. After drinking and eating, Qiao... Smith called the waiter. The waiter gave the bill, ***2235 yuan, and jumped up: "What?" Is it expensive? Are you crazy about money? "
The next day, a piece of news was published on the blackboard newspaper of the village chief of Porcelain. The headline in eye-catching boldface letters read: Eating bread and spending 2,200 yuan on the body said:" Villager Zhang came to the cafeteria. I want to eat a steamed bun. Finally settled the bill, but faced a sky-high bill of more than 22 million yuan! When Zhang asked about canteen charges, the canteen manager even confidently stated that the charges were reasonable and the billing was correct! "After reading this news, the villagers were very angry and accused the canteen of robbing people with black hearts
(H) Hungry for dinner
On the day of 2009, villager Li Si was in the canteen As I was eating, I suddenly remembered the fight with my neighbor over the homestead a few days ago. He became more and more angry, and even had a heart attack in anger, and his four wives and children, three aunts and six uncles, fell to death. When the neighbors heard that Li Si died in the canteen, they rushed to the canteen with hoes, shovels and pickaxes and asked the canteen to pay for it. They said: "I ate to death in your canteen, so you starved to death!" You have no obligation to save hunger and help hunger! Rushed to the scene "
The Porcelain Village blackboard newspaper team immediately interviewed Li Si's family. In the evening, she wrote a tear-jerking newspaper article on the blackboard. The article said: "Mr. Li, walked into A muscular man in the cafeteria spoke an hour later, but his body was cold and covered with white sheets. He just wanted to eat a bowl of white rice, and his wife and children were still waiting for him at home. His son will be at least 6 years old tomorrow. Li promised his son to accompany him at home for his 6th birthday and give him a comic book as a gift. However, who would have thought that in the span of just one meal, father and son would be separated by yin and yang. The comic he just bought was still in Li's pocket, still carrying his warmth, but he could no longer give it to his son in person. He also has a 12-year-old daughter who is in primary school. Li was the only laborer in the family. After his death, who was to pay for his daughter's tuition? I am very afraid that my daughter will have to drop out of school and go to work in the city to make money to support the family. With her immature little hands... "Finally, the article makes a lot of sense: "The canteen is a sacred temple to save the hungry. When you are hungry, it rotates Now it has become a terrible tiger's mouth, where customers starve to death. An ethical chef, right? Where is the conscience of the waiter? sorrow! Buy it! "
A few hours after the blackboard newspaper was published, the surrounding walls were filled with blackboards filled with threads from angry villagers saying: "Tie up the cook and let him starve to death!" "The waiters were cut into pieces to comfort the customers who died unjustly!" The place's "so-called canteen, drains your money, and then you starve to death!"
The sky-high price of asparagus in (IX),
/gt; In early 2010, in order to collect news materials, Liu, a reporter from the village radio station, began to investigate the rising prices of food raw materials in the canteen. Finally, in a remote mountainous forest, he discovered that farmers were selling fresh asparagus for only 0.1 yuan per catty, and roasted asparagus actually sold for 10 yuan in the canteen of China Village.
Realize he is sensitive and this could be wonderful news fodder! After investigation, he found that the sales price of farmers' asparagus is 0.1 yuan in the village grocery store, and the sales price at the vegetable station is 0.2 yuan. To the township vegetables, the sales price at the vegetable station is 0.4 yuan, the vegetable trading company, and the vegetable trading company is destined to be a vegetable trading company. The price is 0.8 yuan; the purchase price after the canteen is 0.8 yuan to 1.6 yuan and the price is sold to vegetable wholesale. The wholesale price of vegetables is 3.2 yuan and is sold to the canteen. The canteen produces roasted asparagus dishes, but it can also be used for meat and meat after local e-commerce companies. Mushrooms, excluding meat and mushrooms, asparagus, equivalent to RMB 6.4.
Looking at these data, Liu is a little disappointed, because the gross profit margin of each link is 50%, which is no greater than the profit of other parts, and the canteen link also provides high-tech cooking and supporting services, such as roasted asparagus. Profits are also used to fund low-cost meal losses. Liu Heqian, a vegetable salesman, has an income equivalent to that of a chef with a doctorate several times, 10 times. This also looks from the side, the canteen should not be the most profitable aspect. Finally, he also found that most canteen meal rates would not be as high as asparagus with only a few exceptions. Liu couldn't help but wonder how to write this manuscript? Listening to Liu's report on the radio station, he smiled and said: "This is easy to write! I will teach you."
A few days later, the authoritative "Sky-high price of asparagus, a hundred times profit" article was published in the village Radio Station: “The ex-factory price of asparagus is only 0 cents per catty, but the canteen sells it to villagers for 100 cents! The price of asparagus has increased 100 times! Its sky-high price of asparagus is only more profitable than gold, but it is also more profitable than drug trafficking! Seeing such conclusive evidence, we finally know what 'eat yours' is! The cafeteria is a public institution, and it is his unshirkable responsibility to save the hungry from rotating hunger. But now it has become a chef, a waiter, and a staff member of a profiteering institution that collects money for vegetables. How can he eat without being expensive! "
This is the voice of justice, played from the loudspeaker of the village radio station and spread to every household. When the villagers of Porcelain Village heard this "hundred times profit of asparagus, they were angry with their lungs and hoped that he could immediately The canteen was smashed, and the chefs, waiters, and vegetable workers were cut into pieces.
(j) Female workers drank 330 kilograms of water.
In 2011, in order to let the villagers understand consumption. The village committee provides the canteen with a detailed price for each type of raw material and each service. For example, the price of vegetables and water cannot be directly listed, but must be listed separately in the "Water Green Leafy Vegetables" column. , such as spinach and rapeseed, the village committee stipulates that they need to be soaked and washed multiple times to remove pesticides and fertilizers. Use 5 liters of water for each dish.
Female workers in the village eat a month's meals in the canteen. They order fried spinach every day and use about 10 liters of vegetable washing water and boiling water during the cooking process. The average daily travel expenses used are total. Listed for 11 liters of water, a month down, 330 liters.
The village blackboard newspaper team listened to its head and quickly ordered member Zhang to write an article and report it on the blackboard.
Sally did a tough job and the group leader said: "Using 11 liters of water, 10 liters of vegetables every day, a perfectly normal thing, nothing to report? "
Inspiration from the person in charge: "It is normal to drink 10 liters of water with vegetables, but what if you drink 10 liters of water? Is it normal? There are 11 liters of water every day, which doesn't sound like much, but it adds up to a month 330 liters, 330 kilograms! How much does it sound like? Can a female worker’s belly hold 330 kilograms of water?
Suddenly, after Zhang finished listening, he hurried back and sent a message. Yes, this article published by the village headbanse newspaper where the literary talent was born was titled: Female workers in the canteen are "330 kilograms of water". The article said: A female worker just wanted to eat fried spinach, but at the end of the checkout, she was When they saw the detailed list of charges, they screamed: "Take it easy 330 kilograms!" Can the female employee's stomach hold 330 kilograms of tap water? The canteen ignores common sense and charges outrageously!
It happened like this. During the "Village Chief's Rehearsal of Red Songs" concert in the village, Aunt Zhang, the leader of the choir, saw the title of the newspaper, but did not see the body. She curled her lips and commented: "Don't ask, of course the canteen charges extravagantly!" One step later, Aunt Li, Aunt Wang, Aunt Liu, and Aunt Zhao echoed: "Yes! Of course, arbitrary charges! "
Uncle Sun and Uncle Qian strolled through the blackboard wall at the beginning of the year and watched them grow up. With their canes, they pointed in the direction of the canteen and said angrily: "That's outrageous! How can I drink tap water with a weight of 330 kg in the canteen? Take us to try to trick our target but be picky! ”
(XI) Result BR /gt;
The construction of the village is still effective, and the lives of village cadres are still nourishing. The villagers are resentful that they have to pay for meals at their own expense. In the staff cafeteria, young people with social status who are still working overtime and working hard, who can't bear to scold the chefs who are good at cooking, resign and change careers, or go to another village to work as chefs, see the working status of the cafeteria chefs as unwilling to learn, professional chefs and The resting workers were in the canteen. Due to poor treatment effects, fatigue, feeling of being oppressed, and low motivation for work, the service level in the canteen was getting worse and worse, and the food was getting worse and worse because they were too busy and tired from work. , the back cook, and the previous church often made mistakes such as cooking salt, sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce on the wrong table, and miscalculated the responsibility for losses. Of course, the villagers hated the chefs and waiters in the canteen even more. p>
After the village chief's son graduated from the school in McGillick Village, the gold and silver in the accounts of the village chief and his daughter-in-law were left in the village, and the son went to the relationship head of the same village, such as the village chief. Brother-in-law, cousin, nephew, wife in the village "a good friend", and wife in the village "a good friend" "my good friend" in the village's former public *** project "made Make a fortune and build a villa with luxury cars.
The villagers still think of "eating" and "eating you". Every time you feel heartbroken, go to the blackboard on the wall and run to the bottom of the village to read the updated blackboard religiously every night. . Reading the blackboard, I felt that he was the happiest villager in Porcelain Village. Of course, the villagers could not forget the abominable canteen. The villagers often cursed: "His mother broke the black." Heart cafeteria! Kill the evil chef of the group! ”
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