Who has an article called "An'an" in "Children's Literature"? Please beg me! ! ! ! ! ! !

I never thought that one day I would fall in love with An An. I never thought she would leave me like this.

I only remember that when I was seven years old, she treated me like a tabby cat, which made me grit my teeth but helpless.

When we were seven years old, we moved to this courtyard house in Ximen Hutong. Since I was young and naughty, I only played a side effect in the huge project of moving, so my father placed me at the house of his good friend Uncle Liu, and then I lay on the large sofa and fell asleep. The fatigue caused by the move caused me to sleep on a strange sofa and have one dream after another, and all of them were nightmares. One of them was being pushed back step by step by a tiger, while my parents were moving them. My beloved furniture could not take care of my son who was about to die... I woke up dripping with sweat, opened my eyes and saw a chubby face looking at me. I screamed "Yeah" with all my strength in panic. come out. Then there was another series of loud and high-pitched cries in Uncle Liu's house. Fortunately, I wasn't the one crying. Unfortunately, the adults thought An An was bullied by me. It wasn't until many days later that five-year-old An An clarified the matter babblingly that I was able to be vindicated. Unfortunately, at that time, they firmly believed that An An was bewitched or even intimidated by me and spoke good words for me without conscience. Alas, these adults!

Ever since An An said something fair but was considered to be excusing me, the four adults have reached a consensus: An An and I are very strong. So, let me call An An my sister. When I was hesitating whether to put in additional conditions, such as eating a piece of chocolate, An An sweetly called "brother." Frightened by my mother's power, I reluctantly agreed, as if I had suffered a big loss.

From then on, I shouldered the responsibility of loving and protecting An An, and repaired and maintained her when she was in a bad mood. Anyway, I have been a flower protector since I was seven years old, assuming An An is a flower. In fact, eight years later she proved she was.

When An An was six years old, I was eight years old. I was in second grade and she was in first grade. I don't know if the school stipulates that girls should enter school one year earlier than boys, but that's the way it is in our area. I held An An's little hand to and from school every day for six years, until she was taller than me when she was twelve years old. From that day on we no longer held hands to go to school, but rode bicycles to school.

It was an eventful time. That year An An and I understood what love was - please don't get me wrong, it was not that there was love between her and I, but that we vaguely saw the outline of love together. At that time, there was a young widow living upstairs in the south courtyard of our courtyard. It was said that she had been married three times (I told An An this was a record that would make any woman proud) and had killed three men. Perhaps because she was tired from getting married, or because she was tired from crying after three funerals, the young widow vowed never to marry again. But the appearance of a driver disturbed her determination. The rich driver was like a strong bull, striding into the young widow's heart, making her barren heart suddenly filled with spring flowers. So one sunny morning, the young widow happily followed the rich driver away. Not even the furniture was moved, just a half-sized bag. In the ambiguous and unpredictable eyes and flashing words of the adults, An An and I accidentally guessed the heart-beating word love. At that time, I solemnly told An An that there must be love between the widow and the driver. An An nodded vigorously in agreement. The widow left, taking her love and bag with her, leaving an empty house. Since I have a lot of knowledge in picking locks, the room upstairs in the south courtyard has become a paradise for An An and me. There are many children's toys in the room, such as building blocks, cars, rag dolls, and Transformers. These things were probably prepared by the original owner for his future son, because for a while the young widow (of course, she was not a widow at that time.) had a visibly swollen belly. Her husband's daily homework was to touch his swollen belly with his hands, then put his ears up to listen, and then happily run to the store to buy children's toys. Every day. Probably later he found that his son refused to get out for a long time and got tired of buying toys, so he kicked his legs and tilted his head and went to see God. So his wife cried and found a doctor to suppress the bulging belly. and then resumed her duties as a widow.

The relationship between adults is very complicated, and I can't study it clearly. I just innocently discovered that there was a lot of fun in the room after the widow left, including several comic books and a novel. book, because it contains some descriptions of love. (I bravely suspect that it was this book that created the love between the widow and the driver.) I didn’t like reading novels at that time. By the time I had the patience to read novels, it was no longer a banned book, and I immediately lost interest in it. , regretting missing an opportunity to read banned books.

The train carried my endless attachment and staggered towards the distant Shanghai. I suddenly shed a tear. I don't know whether it was happiness or reluctance. I knew that I had completely fallen in love with An An.

After arriving at school, I wrote a long letter to An An. The letter only introduced the beautiful and prosperous Shanghai and our school. At the end of the letter, there was a youthful message for An An to pass the exam quickly. Join me in creating a new era. A month later, I felt the pain of lovesickness and started writing a diary. In the second month, I couldn't control myself and called An An to tell her that I loved you. Silence over there. I was confused and comforted her by saying, don't be afraid, you don't have to love me if you're not used to it. Who knew she suddenly said something that made me fall into a gentle place: Come back quickly and we will go on a date upstairs in the south building.

After finally getting through the winter vacation, I jumped on the train back to Chengdu without packing my luggage. In the past six months, considering that An An is already in her third year of high school, I have only sent one-tenth of the letters I wrote to her. At this moment, the train is out of breath due to the weight of longing, and it crawls slowly on the rails.

I looked at An An as soon as I got off the train. I couldn't help but put a crystal necklace I bought all over Shanghai on An An. An An has obviously lost a lot of weight. Although her face is filled with excitement about meeting her, her face is as haggard as if she was malnourished. I was heartbroken after seeing it and said softly: Are you nervous about studying? Don't worry too much, the college entrance examination is not scary, you will definitely pass it. Um. An An responded sadly.

When I got home, I started to show off to my parents the mysterious girlfriend I had mentioned before. I laughed out loud when I saw the surprised look on my father's face and said, your future daughter-in-law is An'an, don't object, it will be useless.

That winter vacation was my happiest day. An An and I chose a sunny afternoon to go on a date in the room left by the widow. We walked into the little paradise of childhood. Facing the dusty tables, chairs and everything, I didn't know what to do. An An and I have lived together for more than ten years, and we have been crazy and laughing together for more than ten years. Now we are at this sacred moment of dating, but we are at a loss. Finally, I broke the embarrassment and proposed cleaning the room, which was approved by An An. During the cleaning process, I found that An An was particularly energetic, as if she was cleaning her own home. I admit one thing, labor is glorious and great.

Later, we went to that wonton stall to eat wontons. This small shop is of great significance. It is the testimony of my bloodshed for An An and the Yue Lao that I fell in love with An An. An An and I were filled with longing for happiness, and we left our youthful footprints on the streets of Chengdu with high spirits. My face is full of happiness, just like when I was in elementary school and followed my teacher to dream about communism. At that time, what I was thinking about was that communism would have flavored potato chips to eat. Now my hope is that An An will accompany me for the rest of my life.

The winter vacation is fleeting, and I reluctantly return to school and start counting down to the An'an College Entrance Examination.

The days passed slowly day by day, and I suddenly discovered that there are twenty-four hours in a day, so long!

Finally got through another semester. When I went home and saw An An, she was even thinner, and the long hair she once had for me had been cut into very short hair, like a tomboy. I joked, are you imitating Thirteenth Sister? An An said with a sad expression in her eyes, "I'm sorry, Feng, I didn't get admitted to the Second Medical University." Then her tears flowed. I wanted to ask her if she was joking, because An An's grades have always been very good. But seeing her sad expression, I held back. I hugged her and said, it doesn't matter, I will always love you, whether we are together or not. As soon as I saw An An's expression, I felt sad. I didn't know how difficult this college entrance examination was, but An An was so exhausted.

An An was later admitted to Sichuan University. Although it was in Chengdu, her parents did not go to see her off because of me.

I'm grateful that they gave me this opportunity. I held An An’s hand and walked around Sichuan University over and over again. Before leaving, I kissed her forehead and said, I will write to you and call you often, and so will you. Um. She nodded vigorously. I saw two crystal tears falling silently from her eyes, and my heart broke.

When I returned to school, I immediately wrote a letter to An An, reporting everything new here, and I also racked my brains to tell her jokes, hoping to dispel the shadow of the college entrance examination on her. I kept writing letters and making phone calls, but the replies became less and less, and I often couldn't find anyone when I called. At first the person who answered the phone said "she went to eat" or "she went shopping", and later simply said she had gone home. I know An An is avoiding me intentionally. I called my mother and asked her, but she said she didn't know. An An was fine all the time. I guessed a little bit what happened. In fact, this conjecture simply does not match my usual high IQ. It insults my always clever and calculating style. At this juncture, of course something happened. The question is what happened. This is the key.

I spent my days in anxiety and random speculation.

Until one day in June, I received a very short letter from An An. I have never seen such a short letter, but An An let me see it. An An said, Feng, after coming here for so long, I finally figured it out that we are not suitable to be together. Sorry, forget me, take care of yourself.

I was so angry that if An An were in front of me, I would scratch her nose and say, you are lying to me again. But An An is far away in Chengdu, and she is no longer the ten-year-old child. My first reaction was to call An An and tell her that I wouldn’t play this game if it wasn’t fun. The person who answered the phone said "She's home" from his nasal cavity and hung up the phone. How rude! But now I don't have time to educate this little sister. I just want to find my An An. When I called her home, I found that the number was empty. I called home again. Thank God, my dad was at home. Dad was silent for a while and then said, son, forget An An, she has already found another boyfriend. Son, you can't blame An An. Son, please find a new girlfriend. We all support you.

No, I just want my safety. I shouted at him, forgetting that he was my father and that I was in a public place, which attracted other people's attention.

Son, listen to your father, don’t blame An An, don’t be sad.

Son, son...

I have gone far.

The young man in line behind me grabbed the phone and shouted angrily: I am your father. Logically speaking, I should have rushed up to argue with him using fists and kicks, but at that moment I really didn't have the strength to care about that.

I can disobey my father - for the sake of safety. But I can't disobey An An for my father's sake. Besides, the two of them are not contradictory at all. An An wants me to forget her? can i? can i? I can't.

I never thought that one day I would fall in love with An An. I never thought she would leave me like this.

From then on, all the letters I wrote to An An came to nothing. And I can no longer find An An on my phone. My mother told me that An An’s family had moved out of the courtyard a long time ago, and I don’t know where they have moved now. She reluctantly persuaded me to forget An An. I was frustrated and said, I can forget An An, not for you or my father, but for An An. She wants me to forget, I won't embarrass her.

I didn’t go home during that winter vacation. I wanted to see An An again, but I was even more afraid that I wouldn’t be able to accept her decisive decision. I didn’t go home during the next summer vacation. It wasn’t until the end of my junior year, when I was facing an internship, that I remembered that I had a home in Chengdu. So I returned to Chengdu.

The courtyard is already very empty. Many people have moved away. An'an's home is still empty, and the widow's home is also empty. I don't know when we will move out. This place does not belong to us. I looked up at the ancient houses in this courtyard and said to myself, this is just like life, they come and go in a hurry, and I think they have taken away a lot, but in fact they have taken away nothing.

I found Zhang Chun, my best friend in elementary school and middle school. We were drinking tea and chatting in the cultural garden. As we chatted, I was so moved by the scene that I changed the tea to white wine and continued drinking. The 48-degree Zuihuayin feels hot when poured into the stomach.

I thought of An An catching us smoking while we were hiding in the women's restroom, of me leading Zhang Chun to fight for An An, of me buying bubble gum for An An, of me eating flavored potato chips with An An... I thought of An An. I can't pretend anymore, I told Zhang Chun about me and An An.

What? Failed the college entrance examination? impossible. That year, our city's science champion scored 697 points, and that was An An. I remember it clearly.

It’s true, you’re not lying to me. I was already quite drunk, so I waved my hand and said, tell me, why did she lie to me after getting admitted to Sichuan University?

I don’t know about this either.

Don’t know? Let me tell you, she lied to me, she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't love me.

You are drunk.

I'm not drunk. I know everything. It has been two years, I have not forgotten you, An An, I have not forgotten you, I love you, An An.

I know, you are drunk. Let's go home.

I am not drunk, you are not An An, you are a bastard. But it doesn't matter, I like drinking with bastards. Come, have a drink.

That night, I drank too much and was carried (most likely dragged) to a nearby traditional Chinese medicine hospital by Zhang Chun. His affection for me was fully demonstrated that night. At first, he sat on the edge of the hospital bed to take care of my infusion. Later, he couldn't stand listening to my nonsense and asked the doctor to hang up a bottle of glucose for him to lie down.

That dark night, I said a lot, and the doctor on duty was so angry that he locked the door tightly to prevent sound. I spoke out all the words I had kept in my heart for the past two years, facing the long silent night. The next morning, I told Zhang Chun that I wanted to eat flavored potato chips and wontons. Then, Zhang Chun pulled out the needle in his hand and strode out. I shouted that I wanted to go too, but he walked in again and pulled the needle out of the back of my hand. Then we left the Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital.

Not far away, I saw a familiar figure coming out of a small building and slowly locking the door. I walked up and patted her shoulder and called her aunt. Then, I saw An An's mother. She has aged a lot after not seeing her for two years, wrinkles have appeared on her beautiful face, and there is an uncertain look in her eyes.

Where is An An? Aunt. I asked cautiously.

An'an? Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes,

…

…

I finally knew the truth of the matter, it was so cruel, Unknowingly, I have been playing a more cruel role.

An An discovered that her physical condition was very poor as soon as she entered her senior year of high school. At first, she thought it was due to heavy study pressure. Later, she went to the hospital for a checkup and learned the bad news: An An was suffering from leukemia! At that time, I was in Shanghai, thinking hard about coming back and dating An An. An An decided to hide everything from me. Although I noticed An An's haggard appearance, I thought it was because she was too nervous about studying.

During the second holiday, I went home. I still didn’t know the truth and thought that An An failed the college entrance examination. In fact, in order to get admitted to my school, An An did not take a good rest, which actually led to physical decline. She had always had an extravagant hope that on the day she was admitted to the Second Medical University, a miracle would happen and she would recover. It wasn't until the doctor told her before the college entrance examination that she only had two years at most, so she gave up applying for the Second Medical University and chose Sichuan University instead. At the same time, An An's home also moved to the vicinity of the traditional Chinese medicine hospital in order to cooperate with the treatment. Two years later, the miracle did not happen. And in the past two years, An An has been hiding it from me, and even persuaded my parents to hide it from me too. When she needed me most, she hid it from me and asked me to forget her and find happiness again.

An An left two months ago. Auntie said with tears.

Did An An leave anything for me? I asked reluctantly.

No, she said you would know, and then closed her eyes. So pitiful, my An An...

My head is about to explode. I think of An An's haggard face, her sad words, her sad look, and the short hair she has left due to chemotherapy.

I studied medicine in vain, but I can’t see it. I love her in vain, but I can’t see it.

I ran like crazy on the road. Let the tears flow down my cheeks and my memory.

Fourteen years ago, An An appeared in my world. She said that I looked like a tabby cat because I slept on the sofa in her house and my face was covered with dust.

Fourteen years later, An An left forever. I am still like a tabby cat, because I sit alone on someone else’s earth, and my heart is full of tears.