My self-control is particularly poor. What should I do? I am bored to death.

1, change the environment: take reading as an example. For example, if there is no special study at home, we often put a desk in the bedroom. Therefore, we often get sleepy from sitting at the desk to moving to the bed next to the desk, and then from sitting reading to lying reading. In this case, it is difficult for us to emphasize the reading goal and stick to it again, which is usually difficult to work, because we have found a reason to stick to it, but it is very likely that we can find three reasons to say that it is time to have a rest immediately. Then, why don't you go to the living room or the office not far away for a change? ......................................................................................................................................................

2. Increase the sense of urgency and fun of learning: today's world is a world of knowledge explosion. Even if we study a major, we need to spend a lot of energy to keep up with the rapid development of society, and it is inseparable from our planned and targeted study. Moreover, learning also brings a lot of fun, because it makes you more comfortable in more and more things and see a wider world, which will enhance your satisfaction and bring happiness. Of course, the improvement of ability may also bring better and better benefits, and the benefits brought by the improvement of ability are more controllable and practical. So learning is urgent and enjoyable.

We often realize that if a learning task is non-negotiable, we often feel full of energy. Therefore, if we want to make this learning task non-negotiable, we might as well apply for a certification exam or make your study plan public, and put some pressure on ourselves through these external forces to turn it into motivation.

1? Strengthen ideological cultivation. Man's self-control depends on his ideological quality to some extent. Generally speaking, people with lofty ideals and ambitions will never have bad behavior because of trivial matters. Therefore, the most fundamental way to improve self-control is to establish a correct outlook on life and the world and maintain an optimistic and healthy mood.

2? Improve cultural literacy. Generally speaking, a person's cultural accomplishment is directly proportional to his tolerance and self-control ability. People with higher cultural quality can often fully and correctly understand things, understand their relationship with others, and consciously control and improve themselves.

3? Stabilize your mood. Use reasonable venting, distracting, transferring environment and other methods to vent and release emotions that will trigger impulsiveness, maintain emotional stability and avoid impulsiveness.

4? Strengthen self-awareness. When something happens, you should be calm, use your own brain, eliminate external interference or hints, and learn to make your own decisions. We should completely get rid of dependence on others, overcome inferiority and cultivate self-confidence and independence.

5? It is necessary to strengthen practical exercise. On the one hand, we should strengthen our study, accumulate knowledge, broaden our horizons, arm and enrich ourselves with knowledge, improve the level of analyzing and solving problems, and expand our ability to decide things by learning from the experience of others; On the other hand, we should actively participate in the practice of army life, exercise hard, constantly enrich our experience and improve our adaptability.

6? We should strengthen the strength of will. We should cultivate the good quality of independent will in our own character. Be highly aware of what you are fighting for. As long as you find something through your own practice, you should go on without hesitation and try your best to achieve the expected goal. You don't have to pursue perfection in everything, you don't have to ask yourself not to fail at all, and you don't have to care too much about what others say about you.

7? Adjust the required structure. When demands cannot be considered at the same time, suppress some impossible demands. The ancients said, "You can't have your cake and eat it. I will take bear's paw instead of fish. "

8? We should strengthen positive thinking. As the saying goes: "everything is established in advance, and it is abolished if it is not planned." Usually pay attention to thinking diligently, enhance foresight, and make timely, decisive and accurate choices at critical moments.

How to enhance self-control?

I think we should do some "tempering rules" while strengthening the legal system and morality.

The "tempering rule" is very important for cultivating the qualities of self-denial and self-control. For example, when Edmund Hillary, the first New Zealander who successfully conquered Mount Everest, was asked how he conquered the highest mountain in the world, Hillary replied, "What I really conquered was not a mountain, but myself." This excellent quality is called willpower, self-control or self-discipline. In fact, you can start from doing something you don't like or think you can't do every day, and cultivate your stronger willpower and self-control under the action of "tempering".

You also know that self-control can only be achieved through practice. Only by relying on inertia and repeated self-control training can we completely control our nerves. Judging from the repeated efforts and training of the will, the cultivation of self-control is largely the formation of a habit. "

The most effective, convenient and practical advice I can give you is to jog 5 kilometers every morning. Whether the weather is cold or hot, windy or rainy, we must persist. Every minute in bed in the morning is so precious, especially in winter, when you lie in the quilt and have a fierce ideological struggle to get up. Moreover, long-distance running is hard and boring, and it will also make people backache. This is really a veritable chore, so you can be honed in this process, from the beginning to the beginning, from fresh to annoying to painful. You can think about a sentence by Mark Twain. Explain how to achieve self-discipline: "the key is to do something you don't want to do every day, so that you won't feel pain for those obligations that really need you to complete." This is the golden rule of forming conscious habits. " As long as you stick to it, with the gradual improvement of your physical condition, running becomes easier and the drudgery of running seems less terrible. Although getting up early is still a bit difficult and laborious, it seems that it can be overcome. Everything becomes easier and more natural, and at the end of the morning, it becomes a habit and part of daily behavior. You don't have to force yourself. Running every morning becomes a natural habit. In this way, your self-discipline, determination, will, commitment, efficiency, self-confidence and self-esteem will be exercised and improved through daily running.

You can choose to run long distances every morning to help you develop a high degree of self-control. You can also choose various sports activities. No matter what you choose, it is first and foremost a housework that you must force yourself to finish. Secondly, this housework must be done every day. Finally, of course, this housework should also be beneficial (for example, physical exercise is helpful to health, improve physical function, enhance self-confidence, improve cognitive ability, etc.). You can choose all kinds of hard work, such as running, bodybuilding, swimming, cycling, walking, aerobics, yoga, martial arts and so on. There are countless physical exercises, but it doesn't mean that the hard work you can choose is limited to physical exercise. Practicing a musical instrument, reading or writing, correspondence with friends or writing emails are also applicable. What kind of drudgery you choose is not important in itself, but persistence is the key to the problem. Insist on doing something you didn't like before every day, and eventually you will gain self-discipline, perseverance, keep your promise and enhance self-control.

Self-control also plays an important role in improving physical and mental health. People who can't control their emotions and behaviors will not have a healthy body and a healthy mind. In order to improve self-control, the following six methods can be adopted. ?

1? Diversion method?

In other words, when you are seriously stimulated, you can think or do other things first. For example, Turgenev, a famous Russian writer, suggested that people turn their tongues in their mouths 10 times when a quarrel is about to happen. ?

2? Psychological suggestion?

For example, Lin Zexu used the banner of "controlling anger" to control himself, while Su Shi encouraged himself with the words of "forbearing small anger and making big plans" to keep himself in a good mood when encountering bad stimuli. ?

3? Avoid excitement?

When you encounter a stimulus that may make you lose self-control, you should try your best to avoid it. If someone scolds me next door, I won't listen, but go out for a walk. In this way, we can avoid the conflict caused by anger. ?

4? A reasonable way to vent?

Some people vent their emotions by listening to music and drawing when they are in mood swings.

5? Positive compensation method?

That is to use the powerful motivation generated by anger and passion to find a job you like and work hard, or study hard, or study hard at your desk, so that negative emotions can be actively used. ?

6? Do the opposite?

Is to do what you don't want to do first, that is, deliberately try to make yourself feel bad. ?

Self-control is a kind of willpower, a manifestation of self-esteem, self-love and self-respect, which enables us to choose the best behavior plan, pass the fork in the road smoothly and always move in the right direction.

How to Cultivate Middle School Students' Self-control

Self-control is the ability to control yourself. The quality of people's restraint ability can determine their psychological taste, health and intelligence.

Although people's self-control is innate, acquired influence, education and cultivation are more important. Self-control, like other abilities, should be cultivated as early as possible.

The cultivation of self-control can be carried out through four links: guidance, induction, practice and strengthening, which are inseparable and integrated.

First of all, dredge

The purpose of counseling is to avoid and eliminate the incentives for students to have impulses and troubles because of emotional out of control. This method is especially important for the following students.

Congenital low self-control

It is difficult to cultivate the self-control of such students. Time-consuming and slow. The method of persuasion is:

A. Love melting method, that is, using the love of teachers and classmates to melt the hard "bumps" on these students. Teachers should care about their studies, their health and life, and their interpersonal relationships. We should have more heart-to-heart talks with them, ask questions, and educate other students to get close to them, get to know them, study and play with them, so that they are not "hot" or less "hot".

B. Shift the target to vent, that is, when they lose their temper, the teacher skillfully shifts their edge to avoid their collision or injury, and the teacher can comfort them first and then postpone them.

C. exercise to get rid of qi, that is, exercise is used to release the accumulated heat in the human body and consume excess energy, which plays a very good role in fitness and ambition. It is observed that people will be more calm within three days after experiencing an intense physical activity.

D. Dietary choice, that is, choosing certain foods, such as cigarettes, alcohol and peppers, will raise people's blood pressure, speed up their heart rate and make them excited, so their self-control is also reduced, so it is best not to touch them or touch them less.

(ii) Endocrine disorders

There are many similarities and differences between tutoring such students and students with weak innate self-control, mainly:

A. drug therapy or psychotherapy should be combined;

It is more important to express love to those students who have lost their loved ones, and we should comfort them more.

C. games or entertainment. If you are a primary school student, you can let them (preferably with the teacher) play hide-and-seek and the blind touch the elephant.

D. It is necessary to carry out adolescent health education, sex education and do a good job of unity between boys and girls.

(3) Other types

1. Only child syndrome

This kind of students generally have the following characteristics: bossiness, willfulness, stubbornness, too strong self-esteem, too strong self-awareness, too confident, poor self-care ability, unable to bear hardships and so on.

To cultivate this kind of students' self-control, we must first combine family education and get family support. Therefore, it is necessary to visit many families and hold parent classes. If possible, let students live on campus and lead a collective life, let students manage themselves and educate themselves; Secondly, we should educate them to establish lofty goals as soon as possible and work hard for them; Thirdly, frustration training is carried out to enable them to bear difficulties and setbacks; The fourth is to carry out legal education and moral education.

2. Backing effect and its own superior radiation type

The back-up effect refers to that parents or other relatives of students become cadres or have honor or "golden gods", which makes students complacent and supercilious. Most of them are fearless, don't accept the teacher's discipline, don't study hard, and will glare at each other if they are criticized a little.

The education of this kind of students should first carry out legal and moral education; The second is to invite people with status and prestige to assist in education; The third is to eliminate their sense of superiority, and suggest that parents limit their unreasonable demands and pay attention to their types of friends. In case they are criticized, parents should help them, not protect them.

Self-advantage radiation refers to the idea that students are superior to others in appearance, posture, sound quality, intelligence and talent. They are self-righteous, supercilious, unwilling to listen to objections and jealous. Some people are good at playing tricks on others in order to find the shortcomings of teachers.

The method of persuasion is to make use of the situation, put more pressure and make more suggestions. Confucius' words and deeds, such as "three people must have a teacher", "saints are impermanent" and "eager to learn and not ashamed to ask questions", are all good teaching materials for such students. In a word, we should encourage them to give full play to their advantages and use them in the right way in order to strive for early success.

3. Competition syndrome

Reasonable competition can destroy people, but its side effects should also attract our attention. All kinds of school competitions, competitions and exams, the ranking of usual exams, and the pressure of entrance exams will make students feel different degrees of fear, resulting in internal pressure, nervousness, irritability, and sometimes some students feel lost.

The method of counseling is: pay attention to students' emotions before and after each competition and arrange rest reasonably. Comfort and enlighten those students with unsatisfactory grades in time; For those winners, they should be advised not to get too excited to ensure that students are psychologically relaxed.

In addition, the beautification, purification and greening of schools are also important aspects of counseling and should be paid attention to.

Second, induction

The purpose of induction is to make students know the function of self-control, abandon bad emotions and actively and consciously cultivate their self-control ability.

Teachers set an example.

Most students have the habit of imitating teachers they admire, so teachers should have elegant and generous manners, keep calm in the face of emergencies, and behave in an angry manner, so that students can learn from each other and gradually cultivate self-control ability.

(B) to guide students with famous sayings

Famous sayings, aphorisms, aphorisms, proverbs, aphorisms, etc. They are a part of persuading people to cultivate themselves. If used properly, they can become signposts for students to pursue and improve their psychological quality. Teachers can write these famous aphorisms into slogans as school mottos, or ask students to copy them as school mottos so as to refer to practice at any time.

Infect students with stories

In the world, there are many stories about how to overcome rigidity with softness, and how to endure disasters and die. Their functions and influences are subtle.

set a good example

All politicians and educators attach great importance to the role of role models, and workers engaged in psychological education regard them as stimulants and cardiotonic agents. Teachers should be good at observing and understanding, take the tree with strong self-control among students as an example, so that other students can effectively hear and see, imitate their behaviors and thoughts, and at the same time respond to the students who take the tree as an example.

The method of induction is as described above. As long as teachers can properly induce them, students' interest will be aroused and it will be much easier to practice.

Third, practice

The purpose of the exercise is to guide students to learn to be generous and keep balance at all times. Methods of practicing self-control can be divided into direct and indirect.

① Directly.

1. hold a debate. The content of the debate can be rational, routine and informative. The method is that teachers or class cadres ask questions for students to debate first, and those who make mistakes such as mouth-grabbing, rudeness, sophistry and irony can be deducted as appropriate, and those who don't speak will also be deducted;

2. Anger law. Teachers should pay attention to "gossiping" and "confusing black and white" and see how students can correct their teachers. Teachers can measure the score of "Qi".

② Indirect method

There are many methods of indirect exercise, which have been introduced in the section of persuasion, such as frustration training, hide-and-seek and sports, and of course there are many other methods.

No matter which practice method, the teacher should explain its meaning and method, and then grade it.

Fourth, strengthen

The purpose of reinforcement is to keep students' developed sentiments and habits.

In order to strengthen students' self-control, we must strive to make students learn to guide themselves, educate themselves and educate them to understand their emotional cycle. Sometimes some criminal cases can be used as negative education to educate students.

The means of strengthening can be through inspection, evaluation and calling on students to supervise each other. We should praise and reward those outstanding people and patiently guide and educate those who are not outstanding until they change.

The cultivation and improvement of students' self-control will benefit students all their lives, but it is also a very complicated psychological quality education. It's hard to say which method is most suitable for a certain situation. Only by going deep into students, understanding students and constantly exploring and summarizing can teachers achieve better results.

How to cultivate self-control

Demosthenes, a famous orator in ancient Greece, could not beat his opponent because of stuttering. But he was not overwhelmed by the failure brought by this fatal weakness. He insisted on running at the seaside or climbing mountains every day, holding a small stone in his tongue and talking loudly. After hard practice, he finally became an excellent speaker. Therefore, if you have an embarrassing weakness, exercise where you are embarrassed.

Demosthenes, a famous orator in ancient Greece, could not beat his opponent because of stuttering. But he was not overwhelmed by the failure brought by this fatal weakness. He insisted on running at the seaside or climbing mountains every day, holding a small stone in his tongue and talking loudly. After hard practice, he finally became an excellent speaker. Therefore, if you have an embarrassing weakness, exercise where you are embarrassed.

We need self-control to overcome our psychological weakness, overcome ourselves, achieve the expected success in activities and maintain physical and mental health. Self-control includes two aspects: self-motivation to improve the efficiency of activities; Overcome weaknesses and negative emotions to achieve the purpose of activities.

How to cultivate self-control?

First of all, we must improve our cognitive level and correct our motivation. According to the research of psychologists at home and abroad, the most obvious psychological feature of many crimes (especially teenagers) is the lack of self-control. On the contrary, those people with lofty ideals in history showed a high degree of self-restraint and fearlessness in times of danger and death. This shows that the level of cognition and motivation will affect one's self-control. So, how do cognition and motivation affect self-control? For example, when you first go to the podium, give a report for the first time, and take part in a battle for the first time ... if you think, "If I make a mistake in my speech, how can people laugh at me?" Or, "What if I get hit by a bullet when I go to the battlefield?" And so on, the potential motivation is how to express yourself and how to get personal honor, so as to get personal honor. On the contrary, if you think: I can't mislead others, I must have a good class; Or: I make a report, just summing up everyone's experience and communicating; Or: I am fighting for justice. The underlying motivation is noble, positive and philosophical, so that you will be less affected by negative emotions. Therefore, a correct understanding of oneself and the meaning of action is very important for cultivating self-control.

Second, the cultivation of self-control must be targeted. In other words, we should train ourselves according to some of our weaknesses and some negative psychological activities in some actions. In order to cultivate self-control, we should first dissect ourselves and find out the mistakes we often make in those activities. However, it is necessary to choose appropriate training methods and correct them in practice through training. The following briefly introduces several practical training methods:

1. If you often fail in an activity because of your own psychological reasons, you can choose the confrontation training method. In other words, repeatedly being in (or imagining being in) a situation that disappoints you, exercise yourself and overcome your weaknesses. This kind of training includes two ways:

(1) Under certain circumstances. According to K.H. Kornilov, a Soviet psychologist, "If you want to be determined, you must get up the courage to hunt wild animals, cross the rapids and go to the mountains for training"; Or, as Fuyi Selivan Novo said, we should "calmly endure vaccination or stabbing and take out the wooden thorn: in the dark night, we are not afraid in vilen or the forest far away from the house: ... when we are sick, burned or injured, we bravely endure the pain ... when we are in a storm, when we meet wolves or other wild animals in the forest or on the boat, we will not be helpless ... Save the drowning man with his own life, without fear; Don't panic in case of a fire. " This is an ancient but effective training method. If you are timid, go to those places where you are afraid to take the test.

(2) Imagination in a specific environment (that is, simulated training). When you fail in an activity, you can imagine the specific links in the past activities, find out the reasons for the failure, and then imagine a new activity to start, correct past mistakes in your imagination, and eliminate all possible accidents and difficulties, so as to achieve success and let successful experiences dominate you. Or when you are about to engage in another important activity, you can also simulate the whole process of this activity in your imagination and keep the successful experience. Through this kind of training, you can get a whole set of activity patterns in your imagination, and you can enhance your confidence in winning.

2. Loss or weakening of self-control often occurs in a tense physical and psychological state. Therefore, through relaxation training, learning to eliminate nervousness can improve self-control ability. Tension is accompanied by muscle tension, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat and other processes. Relaxation training can consciously control these processes and obtain physiological feedback information, thus controlling and regulating a person's entire psychological state. Relaxation training mainly has the following ways:

① Breathing training. In anger, excitement and panic, people often don't realize that they are short of breath or even have difficulty breathing, which makes them more nervous. For example, when some people are nervous, their voices tremble and their timbre is hoarse, which will make them more uneasy and even more out of control because of the smooth muscle spasm of the bronchial wall. Therefore, before engaging in activities that are expected to cause tension, do some breathing relaxation training to keep breathing in a calm and soothing rhythm. The methods are as follows: a. Stand or sit still to relax and take a deep breath; B. Take a deep breath when walking slowly; Wait a minute.

② Muscle relaxation training. Muscle relaxation training can eliminate fatigue, overcome tension and even treat some diseases. Regular or on-site relaxation training can make us learn self-control and become calm and calm.

(3) Qigong enters silence. Get rid of all distractions and keep absolute peace of mind. The method is to focus all your attention on the Dantian point (three inches below the navel). This kind of on-the-spot training, or post-stress training, has obvious effects.

In addition, a person's thoughts (thoughts, beliefs, self-monitoring, conscious words, etc. ) can control and adjust a person's psychological state. Self-control is largely manifested in mind control. The function of mind control is to promote a person's positive action. There are two training methods in this field.

1 self-suggestion. The role of positive self-suggestion is to gain self-confidence and improve self-control. However, negative self-suggestion is just the opposite. Self-suggestion is best done in a state of sleep rather than deep sleep. Before you engage in intense activities, it is not useless to relax yourself into a quiet, comfortable and sleepy state, and then repeat some words that build confidence and give people strength.

② Self-motivation. Whatever you do, you must be conscious. Self-awareness usually refers to the motivation to gain a positive action. How can we get a motivation for positive action? Try to learn self-motivation. Self-motivation means giving yourself tasks, rewarding yourself, giving yourself rewards and punishments, commanding yourself and being your own commander. The ways of self-motivation are:

A, make a feasible plan, arrange things that must be done well and can be done or not, and then reward and punish yourself.

B, write a motto and always encourage yourself.

C, often keep a diary, and conduct self-monitoring in the diary.

D, verbal orders. Learn to guide yourself whenever you are in trouble or danger. Through verbal commands, you can organize your own psychological activities and gain spiritual strength.

Might as well train, it will be good.

Strive to cultivate self-control

Strive to cultivate self-control

There is a saying in the army: "outflank". What we are talking about is not attacking from the front, but attacking from the side to achieve our goal. In the journey of life, in order to achieve your goal, you may have to do something you don't want to do and give up something you are deeply obsessed with, so you feel bound. However, for the sake of life and goals, we should not try to get rid of all "constraints", but should make steady progress step by step along the established goals under the guidance of "constraints".

theme

If a person who wants to achieve something lacks self-control, just like a car without steering wheel and brakes, it will inevitably "derail" and "cross the line" or even "roll over".

Father's teachings

It is not easy to control ourselves, because in the deep heart of each of us, there is always a struggle between reason and emotion. "Doing what you like" or taking a desperate attitude is not true freedom. You should be able to overcome your feelings and control your own destiny. If you let your feelings dominate your actions, you will become a slave to your feelings.

If you are going to do something today, can you leave the warm nest and get up without hesitation? If you are going to travel far away, but you are weak, do you want to cancel your travel plan? If you encounter insurmountable difficulties in what you are doing, will you continue to do it or stop and watch? If you answer such a question on paper, the answer will be clear at a glance, but when you are in it and torture yourself, I'm afraid you won't answer it so simply. What we see is that once we encounter difficulties in life and work, so many people will be afraid. It's not that they can't simply answer these questions, but that they can't control themselves mentally.

Self-control means overcoming desire. Self-control is not only material restraint of desire, but also spiritual self-control.

So how to cultivate self-control?

(1) master your own thoughts. Without the guidance of consciousness, people can't have concrete behavior. To control your mind, you must understand what you want and what you can't want. This is a cognitive problem. Then try to refuse what you can't do and force yourself to do what you should do. This is a question of method. Finally, think about what will happen if you do it and what will happen if you don't. This is the premise of establishing perseverance, and it is also the transition from controlling thoughts to controlling behaviors.

② Control the target. Goals are the core of thought and the guide of action.

Controlling goals is an important way to achieve success. To control the goal, we must set the goal. Have long-term, medium-term and short-term goals. Long-term goals and short-term goals should be carried out at the same time, so as to be aware of them and be busy without confusion.

③ Control time. People live in time and space, space accommodates people, and time changes people. Many people can't do things well, but they just don't make good use of their time.

You should combine what you intend to do with your personal situation and make an overall arrangement. This is not an easy task. People often don't understand not only what they want to do, but also when and how long it takes to do something. If many things are completely integrated with the limited time, things are done well and time is not wasted, you can choose the time for work, entertainment and rest. When we can control time, we can change everything about ourselves.

In daily life, we should always remind ourselves to be self-disciplined and consciously cultivate the spirit of self-discipline. For example, it is best to set a time limit and concentrate on correcting a shortcoming or bad habit of your personality.

Never indulge yourself and make excuses for yourself. Be strict with yourself. After a long time, self-discipline will become a habit and a way of life, and your personality and wisdom will become more perfect.