Say something that would make me happy, happy, I’m in a bad mood

Only satirize some things that must be satirized, and slightly praise some things worthy of praise. This is 2006 in our eyes~

1. First it was Supergirl champion Li Yuchun, and then the Oscar-winning " "Brokeback Mountain", Chinese gays finally stood up! (Unnamed at Peking University)

2. Is there anyone who didn’t cry after watching "King Kong"? I don’t think so~ But if it were a female King Kong and a handsome boy, I don’t think anyone would cry at all~ (Unnamed, Peking University)

3. The EU keeps accusing China of not doing enough to combat piracy, because Of the six Ferraris produced in a global limited edition, 7 are in China alone! (Shuimu Community)

4. "You are not allowed to wear underwear and slippers into the classroom!" To be honest, even after four years at Nanyou University, I am not so shameless that I don't wear underwear into the classroom... (Zijin Feihong)

5. Being handsome is useless. After spending money, can you use that face to swipe your card? ! (Tianya Zhenme)

6. During the May Day holiday, rent a girlfriend for one day. (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

7. Great news: "Pro Evolution Soccer 10" finally has a Chinese team! ! ! The only purpose of the Chinese team is for the experts to show off to the people around them and say: "Come on, let's cut two hands, and I choose the Chinese team~" (Unnamed from Peking University)

8. All children, stand still. Let’s pose for a photo! Oh~ Xiaoli, you have to have a good standing when you stand, don’t be like frjj~~~ (Peking University Unnamed)

9. In the past, capitalists would rather throw away the milk than give it to the poor, but now real estate developers would rather give it to the poor. The houses are empty and not for the people to live in! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

10. If you can’t become a scholar, how can you look at the flowers with your eyes? (Drinking water reminds you of the source, and there are taboos~)

11. Today a group of Japanese people came to visit our school. To be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes... (Quan Yun’s voice)

12. What fees will the bank charge after inter-bank inquiries? A. Bank construction fee; B. ATM initial installation fee; C. Bank card number selection fee; D. Smile service surcharge. (NetEase)

13. In today’s sandstorm weather, there are two stinky forwards of the Chinese football team-Yang Chen and Xie Hui! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

14. I would rather accept you fighting desperately under a gangster than accept you being in a state of ecstasy under a man! (Tianya QQ Station)

15. Since Gamba Osaka defeated the local rival Osaka Sakura 6-1 in the domestic league, 40 Osaka Sakura fans came to the AFC Champions League match tonight. Dalian cheers for the Shide team... (Shui Mu Community)

16. Finally understood what Jay Chou's "Fantasy" means - Porridge... (Sun and Moon Guanghua)

17. The difficulty of the defense depends on the quality of the defending teacher’s sex life the night before ~ ??(Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

18. As soon as Adam came home late from overtime work, Eve counted his ribs... (Shui Mu Tsinghua)

19. Folks, the eunuch said that as long as Tuba Road is handed over, the Red Army will not treat you badly~ (Sayuri)

20. Netcom user said: "I am not refreshing the Tianya page. I have been in the process of landing in Tianya... (C_chairman/chai2001)

21. When I was a child, my mother often nagged: "If you can't get into Tsinghua University, let's get into Peking University." "As a result, when I grew up, I didn't even get admitted to Peking University... (Peking University unnamed)

22. My friends all said that I was a famous musician, because every time I went to K-pop, they sang It's someone else's song, but I always compose it myself... (Brothers Mizuki, please sign next time~:))

23. My girlfriend once said: "My aspirations are not high: My husband doesn’t have to be rich, he just needs to be able to drive me to and from get off work when I’m pregnant.

"Later, she married a taxi driver... (Shuimu Community)

24. Yesterday, I cruelly refused an irresistible request from a woman I couldn't refuse - my mother She said to me distressedly: "Baby, you're not young anymore, it's time to find a girlfriend..." (Terracotta Warriors)

25. My grandma who was far away in my hometown heard the news that I was admitted to Peking University. She said sadly: "Baby, why don't you go to the Central University for Nationalities? It's a central institution after all, and then Peking University is just a local institution~" (Peking University Unnamed)

26. The car is more crowded than acne, my heart is sadder than Grade 6, the school network is as broken as Mingyi’s glass, and I am as useless as an overpass in the Middle East... (Yixian Time and Space)

27. How wonderful it would be if I were a dandelion: I would have a beautiful headdress, special wings, and my mother would not stop me from sailing away... (Peking University Weiming)

28. I am very poor, My servant is also very poor, my gardener is also very poor, my driver is also very poor... (Shuimu Community)

29. I never fold my quilt when I get up, I am never tired from studying, and I never join the student union , it doesn’t matter at all!

I often lie awake at night, thinking about who is the best match, the right pairing of men and women, youth cannot be wasted

I know that it is wrong not to learn, but I still drink and party, and stay up in the middle of the night. I often shed tears in class.

It’s a gathering of heroes. I can’t memorize anything in the final review. I can’t do anything in the exam. If I can’t retake it, I’ll quit! (Blue Starry Sky)

30. What are we doing? It’s not the argument about expulsion from the body due to gravity, I’m on the dissenting side.

To prove that my point of view was correct, I stood on my head while peeing for them to see... (Tulip)

31. Passionate love hurts the body, secret love hurts... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

32. If sex does not exist in this world, then I think love will appear... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

33. Most people with nicknames/IDs called "I love XXX" end up breaking up. ...(Shuimu Community)

34. Get out as far as your thoughts go! ! ! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

35. The worst character is to stare at an ugly girl for a long time, and then sigh and say: "Damn, this dinosaur looks too real..." (Shuimu Community)

36.mm sighed and said: "Finally, blood has been seen. Can this disaster be avoided..." (hidden, Baiyun Huanghe)

37 .If you want to eat swan meat, ask Li Yapeng~ (I love Nankai)

38. I haven’t seen a woman for three years, and now I see an old sow, and I think it is pretty... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

39. I solemnly handed over the happiness of my life to my left hand... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

40. My dear, are you dead? If you die, hold me tight so that the body collector will know that we are a couple! (Tianya Happy Paradise)

41. When a big boy beats a girl, let’s call it a game called Counter-Strike; when a big girl fights a girl, let’s call it a game: Warcraft! (Tianda seeks truth)

42. When I first graduated: Brothers, I will have a wife in the future; one year after graduation: Brothers, I will have a wife in the future; later: Brothers, I regret having a wife; and later: Brothers, I will have a second wife; finally: Brothers, I regret that I will have a second wife~ (Tianya Dongfang)

43. General Secretary J said at the Jiaotong University anniversary: ??"In the past few years, Shanghai Jiaotong University still arranged 21. Now I am ranked third. It seems that my influence is far-reaching~" Now that the general secretary has retired, some officials are burning bridges, and the Jiaotong University Hanxin scandal was immediately exposed! Hi, I will graduate and leave the Agricultural University in July this year. I don’t know what trouble will happen at the Agricultural University... (Wusetu)

44. I have a lot of opinions on the clothes girls wear nowadays! It’s only April and I’m wearing so little, what will I do when summer comes? It turns out that during the bridal night, the bride wears a lot of clothes, and the man unwraps them layer by layer like peeling bamboo shoots, and there is a bellyband at the end. What a wonderful feeling it is~ How is it like now, even though I am highly myopic, every five days Sixty meters away, everything can be seen clearly... (blue starry sky)

45. The Japanese write "remembrance" as "remembrance". Mr. Lu Xun may have become accustomed to writing it after spending several years in Japan. So in "In Memory of Mr. Liu Hezhen" I wrote a typo, which is what is now called Tongjia in Chinese, but if we also write it like that, it would be a typo~ It seems that history is written by people, and those with high power control history... ( Lilac)

46. Girls, don’t just look at people by their mounts - because the one who rides on the donkey may not be Zhang Guoguo, but may be a Japs stealing landmines; the one who rides on a broom may not necessarily be flying. It's a witch, or maybe Harry Potter~ (C_chairman/chai2001)

47. How to compete for the heroine? If you can't be the leading actor, try to be the villain; if you can't be the villain, try to be a cool supporting actor; if you can't be the supporting actor, at least be a tragic character who doesn't compete with the protagonist; if you can't be the tragic character, Then you have to be the clown next to the protagonist; if you can't even be the clown - I have a 10-dollar guide here that can teach you how to replace the heroine... (Peking University Weiming)

48. Everyone must boycott Japanese products - because the Sony mobile phone I just bought broke after only two weeks of use! ! (C_chairman/chai2001)

49. No ability to harm the motherland, no reason to betray the people,

No capital to enjoy leisure and work, no ability to benefit oneself at the expense of others,

No opportunity to see profit Forgotten, have no courage to break laws and disciplines,

No money

Being arrogant and extravagant leads to ignorance! (Peking University Weiming)

50. The moment that working/school-going people look forward to most every day - (Shuimu Community)

51. "Unemployment" is an irreconcilable fundamental of capitalist society Caused by contradictions, it embodies the evils of the capitalist system;

"Laid-off" is a very rare phenomenon in the development process of the primary stage of socialism, and it fully embodies the wisdom and greatness of the party. (Shuimu Community)

52. The power of habit is terrible - I found that the mobile phone must be placed on the left side of the notebook, because if it is placed on the right side, I can't help but hold it as a mouse every time . (Shuimu Community)

53. The worst computer person in the class can still write "Proficient in computers" on his resume, but I don't even dare to write that I am familiar with English... (Drinking water, thinking of the source)

54. Learning is like being a human being. Once you reach a certain level, you can’t get down~ (MOP)

55. Being a eunuch in ancient times is a bit like taking the civil service exam now. Everyone has sharpened his or her "head". Go in~ (Drink water and remember the source)

56. Never becoming an excellent college student depends on strong character! (Tianya University Campus)

57. I have never seen such a disgusting school - the midterm exam is scheduled for May 8th! ! ! (I love Nankai)

58. The big slogan posted in front of the dormitory building - let us all love Jingwei and the forum

Chinese youth, boycott Japanese goods! (Luojia Landscape)

59. The female classmates in the class dare not go back to study at night. Later they each brought a flashlight. In this way, whenever you encounter someone who suddenly pops out of the grass, you just need to calmly take out the flashlight and shine it on your face, and everything will be safe... (I love Nankai)

60. If there is If one boy chases you, then you have just reached the average level of mm in our school; if there are five boys chasing you, then you can barely be considered the class star; if ten boys chase you - what a shame! This is something we have in our Polytechnic School~ (MOP)

61. God took love away from my hands and said: "Love is not yours!" So I cried and asked the children to do it The game has gone... (Tianya University Campus)

When I was 62.4 years old, a man in the village passed by my house and stole a chicken. I stood at the door and looked at him helplessly, hoping that he would put the chicken down. .

Unexpectedly, he picked up the shovel in his hand and dug a big hole, then pointed at the hole and said to me: "Little guy, don't say anything! The end of the world is here, you see the ground is cracked, go home quickly~" (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

At the age of 63.5, I had my biggest ambition in life: I must marry a princess when I grow up! In order to find the princess in his dream, a 5-year-old handsome boy ran away from home proudly with a lollipop in his hand~ (Drinking water and thinking about the source)

64. I like gentle and kind girls, I like girls who speak and act generously, I like I also like girls who are considerate, knowledgeable and reciprocate. I also like girls who are mature and steady but a bit innocent - but they don't like me... (Tianya University Campus)

65. Look carefully at mm's people People who are good at discovering and feeling beauty. People who look carefully at mm's face are people who do things decently. People who look carefully at mm's breasts are people who have the courage to challenge themselves. People who look closely at mm's waist are people who are ready and motivated. ~ (Tulip)

66. I didn’t expect that it took me a third of a second to forget you. It was really too long! (Tianya University Campus)

67. Only then did I realize that I was not in love with you, but fell in love with love... (Tianya University Campus)

68. After being dumped On the eve of , I dumped that person because I thought it was more tasteful to dump someone than to be dumped~ (Tianya Happy Paradise)

69. Before they met me, almost all of my girlfriends Think that children are born from the butthole... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

70. A woman is masturbating, so she becomes Japanese! (Tianya Happy Paradise)

71. I said I was too handsome, and God slapped me down from the 5th floor: "How many times have I told you, don't eat before meals?" Telling such disgusting jokes!" (Sun and Moon Guanghua)

72. You should eat less sweets, I have diabetes! ! ! (Drink water and think of the source)

73. Damn it, I was complained about! The customer said that the mp3 file I gave him had no images! ! ! (Shuimu Community)

74. If your appearance is limited, please log off automatically; if you chat with me, it depends on your conversational performance; if I log off, it is your conversation that is despicable! (Tianya Entertainment Gossip)

75. When his fine stubble pressed against her warm lips, her delicate body trembled slightly and her breathing suddenly stopped. She pushed him away and used a charming In a gentle tone, he asked: "Tonight...how many heads of garlic did you eat?" (Peking University Unnamed)

76. I just pulled the tab of Coke, and I don't know who is evil. I shouted: "fire in the hole!" I actually threw the Coke into the crowd... (Unnamed from Peking University)

77. Several buddies were discussing the "size" of girls during class: 32A, 34A... A girl came over and asked curiously what they were discussing, and a guy replied: Electric current! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

78. Let me give you a sausage to satisfy your hunger~ (MOP)

79. Meng De, are you okay? (Translation into modern Chinese is declined! Tianya Happy Paradise)

80. During the May Day holiday, a sign was hung at the entrance to the Haunted House in the amusement park, which read: "Please do not hit the staff of this site by mistake!" ( Peking University is not named)

81. A Japanese child said: "You Beijing children are so lucky. There is a desert outside the city. When you leave the city, you can ride a camel and watch the sunset~" (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)

82. I hate dogs so much that in order to insult them, I call them "Junichiro Koizumi"! (Tianya Irrigation Zone)

83. I don’t want to be the sun, because I don’t want to turn everyone into roasted pigs.

But how could the pig understand this kind of sacrifice? ! (Tianya Happy Paradise)

84. When a man puts on a skirt, he does not feel that the "downside" is empty - on the contrary, it feels like hanging a string of wind chimes ~ (Shuimu Community)

85 .I absolutely believe that frogs will turn into princes after being kissed, but the key is that my mother doesn’t believe it ~ (Tianya University Campus)

86. You finally lay down obediently, because you held me in your hand and gave it to you of banknotes... (Tianya Happy Paradise)

87. Mom said: "If fate grabs your throat, just pinch the ass of fate!" (Tianya Happy Paradise)

88. The sun is the least courageous. It hides as soon as it gets dark and never dares to come out for a walk. The moon is so courageous. It basically wanders around in the sky every night and sometimes comes out during the day. This is not true. Bullying the sun? ! ! (Blue sea and blue sky)

89. Checkers masters talk about the secret of winning: 1. Pave the way and build bridges for yourself at all costs; 2. When you achieve your goal, you must immediately cross the river and tear down the bridge; 3. In case you fall into an unfavorable situation In this situation, you have to hold on to the opponent's piece. If you can't win the opponent, don't even think about winning easily! (Shuimu Community)

90. "BL" is the symbol of the development of human civilization, "H" is the expression of openness of mind, "SM" is the test of human limits and synonymous with women being the strongest creatures... ...You say I am BT? Thank you! ^_^ (Tianya QQ Station)

91. I will never reach a dream that is too high, and I will never get down from a humble life that is too low ~ (Tianya University Campus)

92 . Make simple things complicated, and make simple truths profound. Is this a paper? (Shuimu Community)

93. I regret coming to CUHK for graduate school—because good qualities were ruined, and even pretty ones were ruined! (Yixian Time and Space)

94. Since bathing in schools changed to charge based on flow, many boys have shaved their heads... (Shuimu Community)

95. Time is the best teacher , but unfortunately - in the end he killed all the students... (Xinpin, Sun and Moon Guanghua)

96. Only women and English are hard to find, only wives and jobs are hard to find! ! ! (Tianya QQ Station)

97. As soon as Fudan University expanded its enrollment, the price of sows in the entire East China Plain skyrocketed, which shows how serious the "situation" is! ! ! (Sun and Moon Guanghua)

98. Professor Yang Zhenning told us: Beauty is very important, and we need it even when we are old ~ (Blue sea and blue sky)

99. During the Kaiyuan period, envoys from foreign countries respectfully presented their tribute treasures to To Emperor Ming of the Tang Dynasty, "This is our country's most treasured 'three-color orb'". Emperor Ming asked why it got its name, and the envoy replied: "This thing is cut open with a knife. The outermost layer is light green, the middle is as white as snow, and the inner layer is as red as morning glow, so it is named 'Three Color Pearl'". Emperor Ming looked at it carefully and laughed loudly: "Your country calls this thing the 'three-color pearl', but in the Tang Dynasty, it has another name~" The envoy asked, and Emperor Ming faintly replied: "Salty! "(I love Nankai) (Tianya community graphic anti-counterfeiting stickers)