What is the funniest joke list?

1. One day on the bus, a man and a woman collided due to crowding.

The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"

The man felt confused and replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

Car The Master snickered!

The woman felt angry and replied: "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly: "Can you cure it?"

The whole car People are laughing!

The bus driver stopped and leaned on the steering wheel laughing!

Two things:

The bus was overcrowded and there was a woman standing at the door.

A GG squeezed in from behind the car and wanted to get out of the car. He said to the woman: "Make way and get out of the car."

The woman did not move.

GG stepped on her when he squeezed past.

The woman turned out to be very powerful. She kept scolding: "You're crazy! You're crazy!" She was so loud that the whole car was watching.

GG remained silent. When he got off the car, he couldn't bear it any longer. He turned around and said to the woman: "You're the repeater!"

There were a few funny children behind, who kept talking. Act out the scene just now,

A said: "You are crazy, you!..." B said: "You are a repeater, you..."

Everyone in the car Laughing loudly~!

Later, a little girl also wanted to get out of the car. She squeezed past and said timidly: "I~I~I want to go on, I am not crazy~!"

Everyone in the car Laughing again~!

The woman did not speak, but a word came from the side: "Are you out of battery?"

The whole car burst into laughter~!

2. Confucius said: If you fight with bricks, it will not lead to chaos! Take a photo! Never die again!

Buddha said; nonsense! My Buddha is compassionate! Don't play too much! A brick is almost dead! ! !

3. On Monday, I got on the bus with nothing but the 1 yuan for the ride. Sitting from the starting station to the final station, I felt calm all the way. But when I got off the bus at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: "Isn't it a shame for an adult to go out without taking anything with him? --"

On Tuesday, I carried a broken wallet , containing 1 cent. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in the wallet: "We are not beggars, please don't insult our profession. --"

On Wednesday, I still broke my wallet. There were 100 counterfeit bills inside. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the money was still there, and a note was stuffed in the wallet: "It is illegal to conceal counterfeit banknotes of large denominations. Please go to the relevant departments and hand them in..."

On Thursday, I took an envelope with a stack of expired Straits Talent News. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the envelope was still there. I took out the newspaper and looked at it. The newspaper had been replaced by the latest Straits Talent News. I took a note with me: "This is the era of consultation. Only by updating information in a timely manner can we seize opportunities and win success." ! -- "

On Friday, I put a toy mobile phone in my pocket. When I arrived at the terminal, I still had my phone with an additional note: "Please don't make this joke and affect the normal work of our company."

On Saturday, I took a toy pistol and stuck it on my waist. After arriving at the terminal, I found that the gun was missing and a note was stuffed in the waistband of my trousers: "I hate you the most when it comes to robberies. You have no technical skills at all! Confiscated crime tools!"

On Sunday, I was preparing We got on the bus, but there were too many people and we couldn’t get on. While I was waiting for the next bus, I touched my pocket and found an extra 20 bucks and a note: "Brother, it's not easy for people in our line of work to be exposed to the sun and wind all day long. Here's my 20 bucks." , Take a taxi wherever you want to go, please don't tease us any more"

4., There were too many people on the bus one day, it was very hot and stuffy, I don't know who farted. , this time the environment is even worse. My friend really couldn't bear it, and he didn't know who it was, so there was nothing he could do.

Just then, the conductor was asking: "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket!" Suddenly, a very fat woman held the ticket high in her hand and said loudly: "I've already bought a ticket!"

5. A sculpture was completed in a new university building: a girl holds a book in her left hand and holds a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students, and many people's slogans coincided with each other - studying is useless!

6. The situation of losing bicycles in school is very serious. New bicycles disappear in the blink of an eye. However, sometimes you are lucky and the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, a classmate in the same dormitory, bought a new transmission car. She showed off to everyone she met and said, "I have installed the latest lock on this car!" The next day, Xiao Jing returned from studying at night, looking depressed. He looked like he was holding a piece of paper in his hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days!

A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again. So I bought ten big locks, locked the car tightly, and put a note on the thief: Let's see how you can "borrow" it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found that there were five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: Let's see how you keep riding!

7. Just using the name Xu Songge can make the teacher angry to death...

Teacher: Is this how you treat school rules and regulations? Student: Why not? Teacher: Your grades will definitely drop rapidly. Student: I don’t care. Teacher: What are you thinking about in class? Student: Just imagining it. Teacher: Why do you treat teachers with this attitude? Go to the school library, read books, and learn more about how to be a human being. I really don’t understand which book you learned this from. Student: In the horoscope book. Teacher: What? A horoscope book? Look at your Chinese homework, why don’t you do these simple explanations in classical Chinese? Student: Superfluous explanation. Teacher: I’m so angry. What else do you do besides talking back? Student: Shake your head and play. Teacher: You are such a arrogant student. Tell me, which girl have you been in love with recently? Student: Angel. Teacher: Where does she live? I'm going to find her. Student: Chengfu. Teacher: Chengfu? What is that place? Student: Tears know. Teacher: You...what are you talking about? What kind of child do you think you are? Student: Bad boy. Teacher: Thank you for knowing this. With this little knowledge, what career will you pursue in the future? Student: Insider. Teacher: What? Do you think it's war time now? What are you talking about? See for yourself, what kind of world is this? Student: Earthly beauty. Teacher: Still beautiful? Your academic performance is a mess and you are almost like Chen Shimei! Tell me what do you want to do now? Student: I want to hold your hand. Teacher: What? You kid, your brain is broken, right? It pisses me off! Today is Teacher's Day, other classes are holding celebrations, and I still have to spend time educating you, you tell me! With the little time left, what else can be held? Student: A funeral with roses.

Teacher: Ah...after screaming...the teacher died on the spot!

8. A Chinese teacher read an ancient poem by Lu You titled "Wo Chun" to the students, and asked the students to dictate it. The Chinese teacher read it as follows, and one student dictated it as follows,

"Wo Chun" ("I'm Stupid")

The dark plum blossoms are heard in the dark flowers (I have no culture), the branches are filled with sadness (my IQ is very low), and the distant smells are lying like water (I want to Ask me who I am), Yi Tuoda is spring green (a big stupid donkey), the bank is like green (I am a donkey), the bank is like green (I am a donkey), the bank is like dark green (I am a stupid donkey)!

9. A: "Old classmate, long time no see. How is your girlfriend Xiaofang?"

B: "Haha, she is no longer my girlfriend. ”

A: “This should have happened a long time ago. When I was in college, I heard that she had affairs with many boys in our class!” One word: "She is my wife now!"

10. The son said to his father: "I like the beauty across the door very much!"

The father secretly said to him: "That's your half-sister, we can only be friends."

The son said again: "I also like the girl next door!"

The father said again: "Then It’s your other half-sister, please don’t tell your mother.”

The son cried and told his mother what happened.

The mother comforted her son: "Marry whoever you like, you are not your father's son at all!"

11. The girlfriend sent a text message to her boyfriend: "Husband, what are you doing? Are you dreaming? Send me your dreams! Are you laughing? Are you crying? "After a while, my boyfriend texted back: "I'm having a bowel movement." /p>

12. On New Year's Day, our family went to the History Museum to visit the "Ice Toilet"... Teacher Comment: Is there such a thing? I want to go too! (Terracotta Warriors and Horses)．

2. After getting up in the morning and sorting out the "remains", we gathered at the school and took a bus to Kenting for the graduation trip. Teacher comment: I don't know which funeral home your home is from? The teacher never knew... (grooming).

13. My left eyelid kept twitching last night. I thought it was a "bra" at that time. Sure enough, my wallet was taken away today. Teacher comment: My child, are you that old already? (bad omen)．

14. The newspaper said that oysters contaminated with heavy metals can "cure" cancer... Teacher comment: Just one word difference, and people who raise oysters will turn around! Should I start raising oysters soon? You will make a lot of money... (causing cancer). 5. My classmates and I went to a fast food restaurant for dinner last night. We ordered two burgers, "chicken nuggets and one poop"... Teacher comment: Is it delicious? Chicken poop? (One serving of chicken nuggets).

15. When I was preparing to go shopping on Sunday, I accidentally pinched my "anus" in my hurry. What a bad luck. Teacher comment: The teacher is very curious - whose anus is so big...? (steel door)．

16. After visiting the flower market, I spent money to buy "Mean Man" and planned to take it home for the New Year. Teacher's comment: Pronounce it correctly, "Glade" will make you cry... ．

17. My history teacher has long hair shawl, short stature, bad temper, and a little "breast"... Teacher comment: The history teacher asked me to tell you, "Wait for the history class, give me the skin." "Tighten up." (fierce).

18. I think I am a good student who is both good at studying and "worrying"... Teacher comment: It's time for you to worry - you failed. (Excellent)．

19. On the "rough and bumpy" road of life, we must firm our direction... Teacher comment: This road can reach the ninth wonder after the Terracotta Warriors and Horses, the eight wonders of the world