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Stubborn flowers

I don't know how to write, and I don't know what kind of words to use to completely string together the feelings of this year, so that they can be hung there like gorgeous crystals without losing their original flavor for you to share and understand.

When I wrote the first character in this hot and deadly August, I suddenly noticed that there were many unknown flowers blooming outside the window, red, yellow, pink and white, orange and blue, colorful and beautiful colors everywhere. God, when did these flowers come out? This momentum should not last only a few days.

I don't know whether these flowers bloom so beautifully this year. If so, I think I should thank them. I can smell a lot of fragrance in the air, and suddenly a beautiful word pops up: flowers are unbeaten!

Flowers bloom undefeated.

Flowers are unbeaten!

I think I can finally calm down and tell you many stories that happened this year. I think no matter what happens in the future, I will never forget every bit of this year.

A week before the start of senior three, a parent-teacher meeting was held.

This is a very serious parent-teacher conference, and no one is absent or even late. The teacher mobilized almost all the emotions of parents at that meeting. Needless to say, the importance of the third year of high school, the so-called "success is also the third year of high school, and failure is also the third year of high school", no matter how brilliant the children in the past were, no matter how failed they were, the thin little girl in charge of the class actually leaned on the podium and talked for two hours, which only made us believe that anything could happen, and miracles or consequences would appear dramatically in this year's BLACKPINK.

In order to let every student know clearly his ranking position in class, grade, even in the whole region and the whole city, the school has carefully made a ranking table for the scores of senior one and senior two subjects. Now that I think about it, I have to admit that the watch is really too detailed. The total score and standard ranking of each course are compared with the average score in the grade, and there is even a well-designed score curve. Finally, there is a concrete analysis of the comprehensive ranking. Squeezing into a piece of paper is really painstaking.

My father came back from school sullenly, and the situation was as pessimistic as I expected: he ranked 290th in the grade. Terrible position.

"There is hope. The teacher said that anything is possible. " Father said that he believed in me, but I don't know whether I should believe in myself again. However, there is no way out. We are chess pieces crossing the river, and we can't turn back.

I can only be worthy of my parents, teachers and, most importantly, myself if I catch up with them.

The long preparation period of eleven years has finally arrived. It's time to start fighting and fight hard. I must bid farewell to my rambling and irresponsible past.

When I failed completely, I rushed to the battle, but the battle had already started and I couldn't escape.

Senior three is really different.

If the terror of the tactics of the third year of high school has not been revealed at the beginning of this demon's debut, then the changes brought by the third year of high school are psychological first. There is always a string in your mind. It is always there, always there. When you are in a boring English class, your thoughts float out of the window and you are thinking; Doing a "super-low-level" math problem with a huge amount of calculation is purely patient. I want to refer to other people's answers if I move a little. At midnight 12 o'clock, when I forced myself to sit at the table and recite the meaning of "people's democratic dictatorship", the string "bang" was deafening: "Senior three, how can you be so degenerate!" Then, the whole people got excited, followed by a pounding heart, and immediately cheered up to continue fighting.

For senior three, writing articles is definitely a luxury and waste. As soon as I picked up the pen, the strings in my head buzzed. My tone, style and even my handwriting were so strange that I didn't feel like copying words at all. I have to admire the powerful motivation of senior three. There are more and more reminders in my desk. I picked up a pen and manuscript paper and said goodbye to them resolutely. The silver-white pen with beautiful dragon pattern is too heavy for me to pick up, so I decided to give up.

At the beginning of senior three, almost everyone was eager to try, and everyone was so motivated that Fudan Jiaotong University could not make progress. I put up a big slogan "Go to Fudan" on the bedside, and I have to shout it several times every morning before going to bed to increase my confidence. All dreams are abstracted into sacred institutions of higher learning under the pressure of college entrance examination. At that time, as soon as I heard all the news about Fudan, I immediately felt excited and excited, as if everything was eclipsed by the dazzling aura of that school.

I never thought about the huge gap between 290 points and Fudan, and the students around me didn't seem to realize the terrible of crossing the single-plank bridge with thousands of troops. We cling to our dreams, and Sister Xianglin shouts "I want XXX". That kind of psychology and the resulting explosive tension are beyond the understanding of people who are less than senior three.

The first real competition in senior three is coming.

The mid-term exam of the first semester, an exam that we thought was ready but was horribly killed.

As the teacher predicted, our ranking has changed dramatically. Many unknown students in the class are like dark horses, which surprised everyone at once. Up and down, many people began to become practical. The school gate in Peking University is really artistic, but not everyone can feel elegant there. The embarrassment of not having enough porridge makes every senior three student feel embarrassed in the face of the huge gap between reality and dreams.

I am one of the few people who still have illusions. Please note that I used the word "fantasy", which was absolutely impossible at that time. It stands to reason that I am a person who is reluctant to wander between 200 and 300 in my first and second year of high school. My third year of high school has started at 65,438+0/4, but I still maintain a small momentum. I should not have any illusions about Fudan, the top institution in China. But God knows how I had such revolutionary optimism. I stubbornly hold the idea of "advancing 50 places every time I take the exam", which is stupid and proud.

Later, it was proved that it was my scary optimism that gave me the motivation to persist and let the absolutely impossible things gradually flash the dawn of hope.

Beating the fragile self-confidence of young people with cruel facts is the first killer weapon thrown at us by senior three.

The firmness of psychological defense is an extremely important reason for whether we can win this war.

At that time, I didn't realize that this silly persistence had such great magic. I just stick to the abstract name Fudan, which has been kept for 1 1 year. I didn't even realize how much it would cost to exchange this beautiful concept I had when I was a child. I just followed it closely and recited it over and over again.

I bought a little advantage with my arrogance without realizing it. In fact, I didn't realize that this was really a good start.

Once I went to talk to the class teacher. The slender, petite and lovely teacher, like a little woman, saw me and said softly, "I did well in this exam. I will keep it up next time." Hua Zheng can rush. "I still can't figure out why I was so firm and bold at that time:" I want to take the Fudan exam. The teacher who has always been full of ladylike temperament can't hide his "O" mouth. Fortunately, she quickly considered my feelings and said softly, "Then you should work harder. However, hope and hope exist. " I smirked. There is a bunch of blooming roses on the table, as red as water, stretching upward and full of vitality. The sunlight slanted in, making the office warm in early autumn.

Now that I think about it, the teacher's understatement gave me great motivation. Not to mention how many positive elements there are in her words, but the phrase "promising" is like a bright lantern, which has been hanging in my mind for the next day. Together with the sweet smell of roses on the table that day, I feel that the whole person is warm.

The following days began to become more and more dull, simpler and more repetitive.

Every morning, I rush into the crowded classroom panting, put away my schoolbag, do exercises and start calculating. Similar but different days every day have now been abstracted into draft paper that is always written densely, formulas and exercises that can't be wiped clean on the blackboard, teachers' heartfelt reminders and chalk scraps that float in the air forever.

Boys' hair is always messy, and all the beautiful clothes of girls are simplified into uniform. Occasionally, we will raise our absent-minded eyes from the messy pile of paper piled as high as a hill and have a look at the crooked notices on the blackboard, such as how much to pay and what books to buy. The days passed by bit by bit.

In this simple environment, students' humorous cells are trained to be extremely acute. Once any little thing is caught, it will be exaggerated immediately, then expanded, and then attracted all the sensation. An article written by a writer about "Fart/Dog Fart/Fart Dog" actually attracted the whole class to clap their tables and laugh, smash the tables and beat their legs. The teacher said it was a manifestation of senior three syndrome. Because our life is too simple, anything that can cause ripples will bring us immeasurable happiness.

Physical education class, a senior in Grade Three, is the only class that cannot be occupied by the school. Boys often play basketball in class until they can wring sweaters, while girls play badminton and bungee jumping for fun.

The short time after two classes every Friday afternoon is designated as "game day" by us. We racked our brains to bring things to school to play. There is a kind of children's game of "playing with coins" which is particularly popular with us. Put some dimes and one-dollar coins on the table, and build a goal with some erasers. Whether boys and girls are lying on the table or not, they all have a good time. I don't understand myself. We have already held a bar mitzvah. How can we be so easily satisfied and hysterical?

"Have fun when you play, and study hard when you study." This is the irrefutable truth that our senior three students believe in.

The number on the countdown board of the college entrance examination is getting smaller and smaller, and we have no time. The teacher shouted to us, "Do what you should do." We don't have the intrigue between classmates written in other books. When we are together, we are always happy, no matter how bitter or boring. I know at least there are brothers standing in the same trench with me. There are no students who pretend to play at school and study hard at home. Because they have no time and energy to prepare those hypocritical things, no one wants to do that. Frankly speaking, they are disdainful.

Then one day, I don't know who inserted a bunch of fresh lilies in the classroom. It was a pink perfume lily. Throughout the autumn, the classroom is always filled with the fragrance of lilies. We count day after day in the faint sweetness. No one pays attention to the natural lily, but it and its taste are deeply imprinted in everyone's heart.

I don't know what words to use to accurately express my feelings at that stage. It may be "down to earth". I get up early and go to bed late every day and still shout "kill Fudan", but I won't talk about "Fudan" again and again. Everyone carefully hides their dreams in their hearts and tries their best in their own way. Progress and honor are illusory things that we can't grasp. Only this day is the real day that we can see and grasp. I can see my classmates and myself making real efforts in this simple day by day, and my grades are steadily rising and improving little by little in this sense of sureness. This feeling, now that I think about it, is really good.

Compared with the calm of the first semester, the days of the second semester of senior three have changed greatly, adding a lot of restlessness and anxiety. The first round of knowledge combing and the second round of systematic mastery of comprehensive questions have come to an end, and the third round of intense exams and tactical bombing of the sea have followed.

It was an indescribable time.

The curriculum was changed to the terrible form of "self-study+1+ 1 beyond the number of words". Teachers usually don't help us summarize anything in class, but just distribute simulated test papers of various subjects for classroom testing. I don't know why the teacher has so many test papers. We must do, analyze and spot-check every kind of paper in every region. There are also all kinds of unified examination papers in other cities and the whole country, as well as all previous college entrance examination papers, and even those strange questions in unknown study newspapers have been collected by teachers and made for us. One class is a quiz, two classes are a big exam, and the unified self-study class for the whole grade is a mock exam. All the papers have to be graded, and the students are asked to grade the quiz in turn, and then the teacher can grade them. Therefore, the score has become the most exciting and worthless thing in this hot and cold season with alternating winter and spring.

This is a powerful stimulus.

Your actual score is the stimulus originally conceived; The comparison between other people's scores and their own scores is another stimulus, and the general trend of several scores is the biggest stimulus. I gradually became extremely numb and invincible in the stimulation of this day. In repeated blows, I "cleaned up the mountains and rivers again", exercised my courage and perseverance in terrible failures, and became more and more calm and strong.

It was the most unforgettable period of senior three.

Examination and analysis have become the whole content of life. Count the time to do the paper, revise the analysis, and do exercises according to the wrong questions, over and over again. We changed "going back to do n papers today" to "going back to do this book today", delayed the bedtime and set the alarm clock earlier and earlier.

Recite n words every day, do n test papers every day, and review n times every day.

The schedule is very thick, and you have to cross it out with a colored pen every time you finish it. The shocking bar and the red cross on the test paper are dripping everywhere every dusk and morning, covering the only road where schools and families can see beautiful flowers.

Yellow pages as high as mountains are moving slowly in the moldy air. Sometimes when I recite at home, tears will fall and my book will be thrown out of the window. However, as long as you meditate "Fudan" several times, you will immediately calm down. I have a heavy head and a blank heart, and I am willing to bury it in the rotting room. I am persistent, persistent. I don't understand how a person who is used to being sloppy suddenly becomes so safe and feels that the world is moving.

Up to now, I have been sitting in the air-conditioned room comfortably sorting out the books of grade three, and I still admire my perseverance and courage at that time. There are several large notebooks filled with notes, each half-meter high test paper is carefully made, carefully revised and analyzed, and there is also a classic math exercise with a dictionary thickness of 16. There are four or five solutions to each problem, and the number of readings exceeds 10. In that cold winter and weird spring, I used my chapped hands and rough handwriting to weave a sacred and unique dream in my heart word by word. I think this is the influence and change brought by senior three.

Growth is a balance between longing and nostalgia.

When it tilts and sinks.

What kind of sound should be used to comfort those nights when the sun goes down?

-high

I like Lao Lang's songs very much. In those days, the old wolf kept me quiet and relaxed. I think if I want to use a person's singing voice to give my senior three music, Lao Lang's is very suitable. The sound of waves is hidden under the calm.

With the shame of 290 people, I made a final struggle with reality with despair. I carefully looked at the weight in my hand, and there was nothing but hard work. I think that every senior high school student who has struggled has tasted the narrow beauty of blocking all retreat, and they are all feeling the tragic mood in the end.

Volunteering is a deadly thing, far more complicated than I thought, and people can't stand it.

I thought I would smartly fill in the word "Fudan University" in the first choice, and then proudly continue my dream. I even imagined what words I would use to fill in and refute if my parents objected or the teacher disagreed. However, this is all my thoughts before filling in my volunteer. What you think is often inconsistent with the facts. Thought is thought and reality is reality.

In fact, the process of volunteering has indeed become the most tortuous event in my senior year.

The teacher repeatedly stressed that we must measure our position according to the scores and rankings of previous major exams and all the performances of senior one and senior two, so my confidence disappeared in the sorting and comparison again and again. May I? May I? In front of the banner of "Kill in Fudan", my answer is weaker every time, and my weak voice is shattered in the cruel reality.

I once saw an elder write in her article: "Trust and doubt are seesaws. Believe how heavy your heart is, how high your mind will be involuntarily raised. " That's true. Every exam in senior three tells you never to promise anything, and never to affirm anything easily. No one can say for sure: "My language must be above 120." No one dares to clap his chest and promise, "Mathematics must be my strong point."

At this time, the teachers' original encouragement attitude has come to a 180 degree turn. They chat with you, take advantage of the enrollment rate, and try their best to scare you with the horrible failure examples of previous sessions, so that you can feel the horror of "one step away, a song of eternal regret".

"Conservative, conservative, more conservative." It has become the first principle of voluntary service.

My situation is a little desperate. The poor background of the whole family is not enough to attract the love of anyone who has the ability, and their achievements are too weak to shout. Even though half a year's efforts have made me get a slightly higher position in the top 80 of my grade, I have become depressed in the face of the shadow of 290 and the unattainable threshold of Fudan in previous years. The allies began to retreat. Some of them gave up because of the five-point promise of a better school, some gave up because their father knew the soul of a university, and some were confused because of the teachers' indecision.

I suddenly became isolated. My father even went to Huazheng behind my back and got a bonus table of 10. He kept telling me all day that studying law has a bright future. Finally, even the headmaster said, "You only have a 30% chance to get into Fudan. Think about it. "

During those days, my nerves became more fragile than ever, and I wavered and hesitated in my unattainable dreams and relatively safe retrogression. A senior of Huazheng actually comforted me with such words: "Fill in our school first. If you really get a high score, it's a big deal to sit at the door of Fudan and cry! "

So I chose to give up. I dare not let Fudan exist only orally like a beautiful fairy tale. I dare not touch that hard stone with an insecure egg. I can't stand the despair of going from heaven to hell after failure. In the cheers of unanimous approval, I wrote down the name of the school I had never thought of, and the word "betrayal" exploded in my mind.

After handing in the form, I took a bus for two hours alone and secretly went to Fudan campus for an afternoon to mourn the disillusionment of my dream.

Fudan is really beautiful. The azaleas all over the mountains are quiet and intoxicating on campus, which just sets off the solemn and sacred Fudan campus in my imagination. My tears came down at once. I don't want, I don't want a dream of 12 to be completely shattered by a thin piece of paper, and I don't want the desperate struggle of senior three to be ruined by an "insurance" reason. I know that nothing can replace Fudan's pivotal position in my heart. If I really got into any department of other schools with high scores, what kind of regret would it be to sit at the gate of Fudan and cry and get rid of it somewhere else?

I know that it was very hot that Sunday afternoon, which means the victory of persistent ideas for me. Now that I think about it, Fudan, who was quiet and beautiful that afternoon, helped me make an important decision.

Under the different eyes of everyone, I finally got my Zhang Zhiyuan watch back and solemnly filled in four exciting Chinese characters "Fudan University". That is really the most comfortable and beautiful four words I wrote in 12. These four words are also the most important decision I have made by myself for so many years, and it is a decision that reflects the initial weight of my life.

I want what I want, even if I am hit hard by reality, even if I fail in the college entrance examination. This is my own choice.

Like a student, he was defeated in the examination room.

There is nothing worth writing in the days to come. After handing in the volunteer form, there is nothing to worry about. Read a good book, do a good paper and relax. Everything is as simple as that.

As for the three days called black by countless people, I think it is tense, but for us who have experienced many battles, when it is a special mock exam, we can face it calmly. I think I was really super calm. I finished all the papers without panic and shaking hands, and handed in my most important 12 answer sheet.

The last exam was comprehensive. I handed in the last test paper and there was no one in the classroom. The invigilator showed a rare smile: "Have you finished the exam?" "well. My high school is over. " When I walked out of the examination room, my feet were a little weak and my brain was buzzing. The whole body is paralyzed like a spine. Tired as a hill, I'm tired, really tired. Hand in the paper, as if to hand over half a life's entrustment.

More than 300 days and nights full of sweat and tears!

The overwhelming feeling flooded in and drowned me silently.

After I got the notice from Fudan, I finally couldn't help looking at the familiar classroom. The last room in the south corridor on the fifth floor, where the youth of senior three flows away. A bunch of lavender was accidentally inserted into the glass bottle on the podium, and small light green flowers were scattered among them, swaying gently in the wind.

My friends and I spent the most difficult years in such a room where flowers bloom all the year round. Now, some of them have gone to Beijing, some to Nanjing, or stayed in a distant corner of Shanghai. I still remember the scene where students buried their heads in messy draft paper to calculate the tension of water. I still remember putting my feet on the stool in the front seat and reciting political scenes. I carefully buried every little story full of ups and downs that was really staged in this small room in my heart. They are the best testimony of my unforgettable senior three life.

We all came here because of a common goal, and now everyone has to go their separate ways for a new goal. All good things must come to an end. Many boys left tears at the graduation party, whether it was joy or pain. After all, this true love is the first weighty life we have walked hand in hand.

That laughter reminds me of my flowers.

Open it quietly for me in every corner of my life.

I thought I would always be there for her.

Today we left in the vast sea of people.

Are they all old?

Where are they?

Fortunately, I ...

I opened my heart to them.

I remember I used to like a TV series called Sixteen very much. It's good to have a name.

The flower season is beautiful.

Romantic flower season.

More than 300 days and nights in senior three, like a colorful little flower, bloom in everyone's heart. Perhaps not every flower is earth-shattering, not every flower is amazing to everyone, and not every flower can bear fruitful fruits. But those flowers really bloomed once in the softest place in everyone's heart, and they did leave some sweet flowers. The shadows of these flowers, together with senior three, bring us a pair of mature eyes, and we use them to see the world today. This unforgettable experience will affect every choice and decision in our future life.

The flowers have blossomed. Whether we admit it or ignore it, as long as the flowers bloom, we will be unbeaten.

Some stories haven't been finished yet, so forget it.

Over the years, these feelings have been difficult to distinguish between true and false.

Are they all old?

Are they still driving?

This is our job.

Go their separate ways.

Postscript: The story of senior three is finally finished. I feel a little tired and a little overwhelmed.

For a long time, I have been thinking about what kind of words should be used to accurately write out my feelings this year, so as to present them in the form of words as a souvenir.

To tell the truth, I am a very smooth child. I went from elementary school to junior high school, and then from junior high school to senior high school. I successfully reached today's position. Therefore, the college entrance examination is more for me who has never experienced anything, and I have another taste in my heart. Feel the dribs and drabs of this year with your heart, and accept the setbacks and rewards brought by senior three with a pious attitude. I think this is a rare baptism and a precious experience.

The text is still a little pale. I wonder if you can feel the same after reading the article. If there is even a little recognition, I think I will be very satisfied.

Flowers bloom unbeaten, flowers bloom unbeaten.

There will be many wonderful things waiting for me to experience, and there are many experiences like senior three waiting for me to experience. All stories are sung while walking.