Talk about the great reversal

In my life experience, there was a huge reversal, suddenly from the lake of happiness in rolling in the deep. I was supposed to be a happy girlhood, and suddenly great changes happened at home. Everything has changed, but I was caught off guard. Since then, I have made mistakes again and again, and my life has not turned over.

The happy time came to an abrupt end, and since then I have shouldered a huge psychological burden. Since my father died, my mother often said that family happiness is hard to come by, so we should cherish it if we have it. So she thinks that after my sister and I get married, it is her greatest expectation to live a happy life. My father died suddenly when I was 13 years old, and it was three days before the Spring Festival. This incident has done great harm to me and my family, and has also greatly changed my life. All my dreams and good expectations came to an abrupt end. In the early 1990s, people's living standards were not particularly affluent. There are two children in the family, and the mother is a collective worker. At that time, my family couldn't even afford a house. At that time, renting a house and going to school became problems. My mother didn't want me to continue studying at that time, but wanted me to take over after graduating from junior high school. She was disheartened at that time.

Life is like chess, quitting public office and buying out is a big reversal of life. I chatted with my classmates about the past that day. He said that those who retired from public office and bought out before basically got along well, and I felt a lot. How many people don't get along as well as I do? In middle age, energy is not as good as that of young people, and physical strength is not good in all aspects. I still have 10 years to retire. I don't know if I can hold on until then, and I don't know if I will encounter delayed retirement. I only know that I am very tired now. Sometimes I think, if I hadn't resigned and bought out, maybe I could have retired easily at work and then retired in a few years, but now I have to worry about insurance and survival every day.

When I was young, I often said that I am not afraid of anyone or anything, so I will fight my fate to the end. Now when people reach middle age, everyone is afraid. I am afraid of my poor health, my family's misfortune, my children's sadness, my lover's unemployment and my mother's poor health. In short, many people are afraid that I am old and like to recall the past. The above two things are turning points in my life. Without these things, I might have a good life now. However, there is no if in life, so I only look at the present.