Life advice handed down from generation to generation

I know that one day, between father and son, there will be a silent struggle between two men about the right to speak. I lost, you won, this is a written ending.

Now that you are eighteen, your self-awareness has awakened, and this contest has begun.

I feel that time is pressing, and I want to tell you the most important thing while I still have the upper hand. Having said that, it doesn't matter whether you lose or not in the future.

So, please listen carefully to the following things.

The first thing: you can be free, but you can't cross the line.

You are full of wings, and you will soon be free to let birds fly in the sky. But you must remember that people live in the world and do something.

Don't do things that will hurt you.

Don't do anything that offends others.

Don't do things that upset your conscience.

You have to keep the bottom line to be eligible to fly high.

The second thing: do everything with a long-term view.

People live, not this moment, but a lifetime.

So don't be too eager for quick success, you are eager for harvest. You know, what you plant today and reap tomorrow are all children's tricks. Anything that is truly valuable and meaningful to your life requires long-term dedication and persistence.

Too many things, haste makes waste. In the future, you must have a goal, but not too strong a purpose.

Just like chasing girls, direct confession often scares people away. A better way is to practice it yourself, attract her to see your light and come to you on her own initiative.

People with big patterns will not win or lose for the time being. Being able to laugh to the end and look back without regret is our ultimate goal.

The third thing: think more about the interests of others.

People are selfish and always subconsciously want to make profits for themselves.

This is natural and beyond reproach.

But if you only think about yourself, you will inevitably lose people's hearts, and eventually you will be helpless and unfavorable to yourself.

So, don't do things that harm others and benefit yourself. This is fishing. When interacting and cooperating with others, think more about how to benefit both sides at the same time, which is saving for yourself.

When you can give others benefits, others will naturally be willing to turn around you, and it will not be too difficult when you need it in the future.

Fourth: you can pursue individuality, but you should live in the sunshine.

I don't advocate trying to do one thing.

You like music, and people who play music have irregular schedules. It is said that only at night do they have the desire to create.

I don't think so at all This is a weak excuse for people who can't manage themselves well.

The sun rises in the morning and everything wakes up. Can't you see clearly?

People who play music love to pursue individuality. I don't object to being unconventional, but remember, this is not the label that smoking cigars, soaking in bars or even ecstasy can bring you. The real personality lies in your musical style, in your euphemistic melodies or rough and unrestrained.

I know a lot of people who play rock. They have no long hair shawls, no dirty braids and no drinking. They just sing the cry of youth and call on the world.

Similarly, you should stop playing games and swearing.

I hope you live a healthy, clean and sunny life. This is called loving yourself.

Fifth: you can be kind, but you must protect yourself first.

You should be a good person and help others as much as possible, but you should have a bottom line and not be used and bullied, despised and deceived.

People's level and quality level are uneven, and many things are difficult for us to predict and prevent. You should learn to protect yourself before you are kind.

Any kindness should not be based on hurting yourself. Otherwise, I'd rather you were indifferent.

Sixth: not greedy, but not poor.

No one's desires can be completely satisfied. In this world, people who learn to be satisfied and give up are the happiest.

So I don't want you to be a slave to money. You only know how to make money endlessly.

However, we must not be too poor.

Don't panic if you have surplus grain in your hand. This is the eternal truth.

You'd better accumulate enough wealth so that even if a sudden blow comes, it won't knock you down easily.

Don't talk to others casually, pray for their kindness and help. The hardest thing to say in the world is human feelings, so if you don't owe, you don't owe.

Seventh: Look at the world with appreciation.

This world, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

If you always see rubbish everywhere and ugly people who throw rubbish, your heart will be gray.

It is better to look up at the blooming acacia and think about the warm care of relatives.

A truly happy person must know how to look at the world with appreciation.

What you see, what will be in your heart. What you have in mind, you will see.

You have to live anyway, why not try to keep more beauty in your heart?

That's all. Thank you for your patience. I hope you can understand more than half and do less than half.

Growth is an arduous task. I hope you don't lose your hair, be slandered and be hurt on the way from boy to man.

I raised you so much and said so much nonsense. In fact, in the final analysis, I still hope that you will have less hardships and more happiness in this life.

Every parent has high hopes for their children. Do you feel the same way? As parents, how can we cultivate a child with psychological sunshine?

Then look at the advice given by Bian Xiao.

Cultivate children's ability to be alone

"Sunshine happy children are independent children. He or she has the ability to face all kinds of difficulties in life and find his or her place in society. "

Psychologists say that security is not a sense of dependence. If a child needs a warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as leaving himself in a safe room.

Children don't necessarily need their parents to be present at all times to feel safe. Even if they can't see you, they will know where you are in their hearts.

Experts say that adults need to "respond" to children's needs, not "satisfy" everything.

Satisfy children to some extent.

Some boundaries must be set artificially, and children's requirements cannot be met unconditionally. "Another prerequisite for happiness is that children can withstand the inevitable setbacks and disappointments in life."

Dr. Thomas, a child psychologist, told us, "Only when a child understands that getting something depends not on his desire, but on his ability, can he get inner happiness."

The sooner a child understands this truth, the less his pain will be. Don't always satisfy your child's wishes the first time. The right thing to do is to delay it.

For example, if a child is hungry, you can make him wait for a few minutes. Don't give in to all the children's demands. Refusing some requests will be more helpful for children to get peace of mind.

Accepting this kind of "unsatisfactory reality" training at home will give children enough psychological endurance to face setbacks in their future lives.

Cold treatment when children are angry.

The first way for a child to get angry is to distract him and try to make him angry in the room. Without an audience, he will gradually calm down.

Appropriate punishment, and stick to it. The strategy of saying "no": don't say "no" dryly, but explain to your child why not. Even if the child doesn't understand, he can understand your patience and respect for him;

Parents should agree, not one says yes and the other says no; Prohibit one thing and give him the freedom to do another.

Face up to his shortcomings

If the child is different from other children, such as the child is too fat, has a problem with the shape of his ears, or has extreme personality and behavior, parents must not deny these facts, but actively discuss with him, find a solution, or accept the reality.

In this regard, it is the best way to find an expert, because children generally take the words of experts (such as doctors) seriously.

Criticism, not people.

Criticize children according to their merits. For example, the child broke his mother's jewelry, which is right:

"You see, if you play something that you have no right to play, such a bad thing will happen."

It is wrong to say "you are so bad". How can you break my jewelry? You mean not to let mom wear it! "

The first sentence clearly told the child that his mistake was "moving something that should not be moved" and did not deny the child's character.

The second sentence gave the child a gender, which made him very depressed and hit his confidence in being a good child.

Let him do it.

Let the child do what he can as early as possible, and he will be more active in the future.

Don't do too much for children, speak for children and make decisions for children. You can think about it before you get involved. Maybe the child can do it himself.

Don't say, "You can't, you can't!" "

Let the children "try something new". Sometimes adults forbid children to do something just because "he didn't do it".

If things are not dangerous, let the children try.

Let the children open their hearts.

Communicating with people is a kind of ability, and it is also a kind of ability to speak the truth. A 65,438+04-year-old boy needs the correct guidance of his father. He will speak his mind in a positive and timely manner and avoid doing something dark. If he doesn't control and avoid it in time, he will continue to be more terrible.

Happiness is the ability to show him the positive side of life. For bad things, you can also face them positively.

Say more positive words: "We are really happy together, aren't we?" "We are so lucky!" "Don't be sad, we will do better next time."

Before the child is 8 years old, if there is no sunny, happy and correct mother, then the child will show his mother's shadow on himself when he is 12 years old.

Therefore, at this time, don't think that children are just children and fickle, let alone think that they will be better when they grow up. In fact, darkness has seriously appeared in this family. If they are not stopped and guided, they will only become more serious and horrible when they grow up.

Emphasize what you get and know how to love.

Affection and friendship, sensory enjoyment, strengthen these "gains" and let him know that he is enjoying it when he is enjoying it.

Strengthen his understanding: I have a lot, and what I have is precious.

He must know that these relatives should not and need not be kind to him. No one in this world owes anyone. It is an adult's responsibility to give him love, and he should know how to be grateful.

They will be parents in the future.

There is no rest in this world. He must understand that what his parents gave him was not necessities, not habits, but love.

You must know how to respect others.

No matter what kind of parents are, no matter what kind of people are around them, children should know how to respect others, and there is no identity difference.

It may be his father's friend, his mother's colleague, his father's driver, the doorman at the school gate and so on. These people who are not related to him must be very grateful for his contribution.

Finding, accumulating and strengthening those beautiful and positive things is the sweetest gift for children's life-there is harvest and love every day, and tomorrow will be better, so work hard!