I am afraid of losing friends, so I am very cautious about every relationship. What if it hurts?

Self-disclosure refers to sharing your personal information and inner feelings with others. The deepening of friendship mostly begins with a self-declaration of the true feelings of both sides. In the eyes of psychologists, self-disclosure is also the most commonly used and effective way to establish intimate relationships.

Combined with your description, I estimate that sometimes you may be "polite" because you attach too much importance to this friendship, and sometimes you will suppress your true feelings and dare not reveal yourself too much. Therefore, your friends may feel a sense of boundaries and lower their self-disclosure level accordingly. Or maybe the subject revealed too much information about himself to others at once because of his own concern, which may make your friends feel scared (after all, knowing too much about the relationship is not a good thing) and keep a certain distance from you.

Second, give more time to your friends and yourself.

You also said that you have many close friends, so maybe when you share time with each of your friends, you don't get along with each of your friends as often as you think. Feelings need time to invest when they are first established. You can try to give more time to a few friends you like, and spending more time with them may make the relationship better and better.

Third, not taking the initiative does not necessarily mean not paying attention.

I guess some of your friends may be in the same situation as me, because personally, contrary to this question, I am passive in friendship, not because I don't value my friends, but because I am not used to inviting them on my own initiative.

It may also be that there are many friends. When you don't invite your friends, they always think you are with your other friends. They are afraid that your invitation will be rejected, so they just wait for you to invite them.

Your friend didn't take the initiative to ask you out, or it may be because you just made an appointment. The subject also said that he is very active in friendship and always takes the initiative to find friends to chat or go out to play. For your friends, maybe when you ask them out, it is the time when they get used to getting along with their friends. Maybe the other person just wants to ask you out. You send an invitation first.

If you still feel uncomfortable, the subject can also try to express yourself directly with friends, hoping that the other party will invite you next time.

Fourth, establish your own intimate relationship.

Everyone has a different way of looking at friendship. What the subject may want is friendship that can accompany each other without hiding, but for some people, friendship does not mean that they often stick together in space, friendship does not mean that they lose their personal space completely without secret, and friendship does not mean that they do whatever they want regardless of each other's feelings. ...

You don't have the friendship you want now. Maybe it's not that you are worthless, but that it's hard to find a bosom friend. Finding a very suitable friend sometimes takes some luck.