What should parents do if they want their children to think and have their own opinions?

A psychologist went to a school to investigate the psychological status of children. Among the 150 students surveyed, when asked what to do when they encounter problems in their study and life, almost all students replied in unison: "Ask parents or teachers to solve them." When asked what career they plan to pursue in the future, 70% of the students said they would wait until they went home to ask their parents before giving an answer.

In summing up his work report, the psychologist said, "Lack of autonomy is a weakness that cannot be ignored in the comprehensive quality of contemporary teenagers." Who is responsible for children who have no opinions? It can be said without mercy that the main responsibility lies with parents.

Modern parents give all their love to their children. In particular, many parents have no time to take care of their children and give them to the elderly. They even arrange everything from life to study, from preparing things for school every day to making decisions for their own lives. Although the rejection of parents can be said to be a manifestation of love, it will also make children become people who have no opinions and will only obey their parents' orders.

Many parents love their children, and hope their children can do their best without worrying about their abilities. So I simply do it for my children with my own choices. Children have no right to make their own decisions. Over time, they will think that their choices are always inferior to others. Everything will be decided by parents.

To cultivate children's independent opinions is not to let them go their own way without listening to advice, but to let them keep a clear head and have their own thinking and judgment when facing choices, instead of following other people's suggestions, so as to effectively avoid and reduce unnecessary losses and failures in the process of growth.

So what can parents do to make their children have a better opinion?

First of all, children should be given the opportunity to make their own decisions, whether they are eating, wearing or playing. In terms of diet, parents can let their children choose what they want to eat without affecting their balanced diet. For example, when eating fruit, don't force them to eat only what they want them to eat, but let them choose for themselves. There should not be too many restrictions on wearing clothes, or when buying clothes for children, children can express their opinions and choose their own styles and colors. Parents should not interfere too much when choosing toys, give their children more space to choose, let them decide what they want to play, and satisfy their independent consciousness as much as possible.

Give children more opportunities to participate in life. You can ask some children about family affairs and give them more opportunities to participate, such as shopping at home, asking them more when buying things related to children and discussing with them. Children can buy what they like according to their wishes, so that they can feel that their parents attach importance to them, thus being encouraged and willing to take more initiatives. In the meantime, we should provide more help to our children. Don't blindly encourage them to do things, but let them master the law of development before making a decision.

When children make important decisions, parents can help them collect information, understand and be familiar with various options, which is more conducive to children making more scientific choices. If the child's autonomy is poor, parents can also analyze the information with the child to find out the advantages and disadvantages of various options, and finally the child makes a choice. If children are usually stubborn, parents can let them make their own choices.

Children of different ages have different independent abilities, so parents should have different standards so that children can learn to say no. A child who doesn't know how to refuse others will never have an opinion in the eyes of others. In daily life, parents should encourage their children to express their ideas, dare to say no to unreasonable demands of others, and let them know not to blindly trust others. If you have your own ideas, you should speak out bravely. Let the children know that they will not be rejected by their parents. On the contrary, parents will think that this is a strong-minded person.

Children have poor independence when they are young. No matter what you do, parents are not at ease. Many parents blame their children for not having their own opinions, but they are worried about everything at the same time. In fact, they can improve their cognition from any small matter and let them develop the habit of diligent independent thinking. Parents can guide their children to think independently when in doubt and actively solve problems.

Give children more opportunities to make their own decisions, give them more opportunities to make their own decisions in life, in class and in extracurricular activities, fully trust their children, and boldly let them design and plan what they want to do.

In fact, the fundamental reason why children don't have their own opinions is that they don't have self-confidence, or that they were overprotected by their parents and elders when they were young, and they didn't dare or have the opportunity to cultivate their independent consciousness.

Parents should give their children more opportunities to make their own decisions if they want to get rid of the weak character of obeying others. When children express their opinions, even if they are naive, adults may as well accept them within an acceptable range and pay attention to their attitude.

Don't say yes, but your body language shows disapproval. Promise to adopt the child's suggestion and carry it out. Don't let children feel that their parents are perfunctory, thus restoring their inferiority. Parents should not only give their children opportunities for self-construction, but also need patience. Don't wait for their children to change greatly immediately, thus depriving them of the opportunity to practice. Parents cannot make decisions for their children all their lives. For the sake of their children's future, parents should learn to be patient and willing.