Help me collect some English jokes, funny and many, thank you.

When a group of women got on the bus, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed that a man seemed to be asleep and worried that he would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" "

"I didn't fall asleep," the man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed. "

"I know. I just hate to see ladies standing next to me in crowded cars. "

I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, all the seats on the bus were taken. The conductor noticed that a person seemed to be asleep. He was worried that the man would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" " "

"I didn't fall asleep." The man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed? "

"I know, I just don't want to see a lady standing next to me in a crowded car."

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful pictures.

"Look," said my brother. "How beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where is the father? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing."

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful oil paintings.

"Look," said my brother, "how beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where did dad go? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing these pictures."

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs.

"Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite? "

"Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?"

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

A little boy dislikes the way dogs bark very much.

"Never mind," said a gentleman. "Don't be afraid. Do you know the proverb: "Barking dogs don't bite." "

"Oh, I know, but does the dog know?"

Can we have our teacher back?

Once, a school inspector visited a school with only three classrooms. A room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy standing and talking. He took the boy to another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a little boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we get our teacher back?"

Can we send the teacher back?

Once, an inspector visited a school with only three classrooms. One classroom was very noisy, so the inspector caught a man standing and talking, took him to another classroom and made him stand in the corner. Five minutes later, a little boy came in from the first classroom and asked, "When can you let our teacher go back?"

Three expensive prices

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge you $25 for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for tooth extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loudly that all the other four patients were scared out of the office.

exorbitant price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge $25 for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: twenty-five dollars! But I know it only costs five dollars to pull out a tooth?

Dentist: Yes. But your son shouted so loudly that he scared away four patients.

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner of the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go".

Slow. "

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, I see a sign that says, "School-Go slow."

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer

Teacher: Please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.