Parents whose children emigrate and stay at home can't hide their loneliness.

Since the reform and opening up, the number of international immigrants in China has greatly increased, reaching 9.34 million at present. The international immigrant group in China has become the largest overseas immigrant group in the world, and most of them are young people. Most parents who have reached a comfortable age choose to stay at home.

Their thoughts are not often described, but they always talk about "don't disturb their children"; They try to take care of themselves just to avoid worrying their children who are far away from home.

They hide their worries in their hearts and put their open-mindedness on their faces. It's just that whenever I mention my children to others, it's always hard to hide the loneliness that I can't accompany.

Letting children fly high is the greatest understanding

"If you want to go to the whole family, don't go one by one." More than 20 years ago, Tan Bo, who had not retired, told her that her daughter wanted to go abroad. "Family" here refers to daughters, son-in-law and granddaughters.

Tan Bo, 88, has a son and a daughter with his wife. More than 30 years ago, my 22-year-old son died of meningitis while supporting agriculture. Since then, the daughter who worked as an accountant in a computer company has also set up her own family. In the late 1980s, at the invitation of relatives who immigrated to the United States, my daughter also decided to take her family to Los Angeles for development.

"Let her go out, anyway, have relatives to look after. She goes her way and we don't interfere. " Tan Bo said that during that time, many friends and children went abroad. "At that time, the reform and opening up had just started, and the domestic economic environment was not good. Going out is also an opportunity to improve the life of a family. " Tan Bo has always stressed that don't take yourself too seriously, children have their own world to break through, and the most important thing for parents is to teach their children the truth of being a man.

"If he wants to go out, you won't give him out. He will blame you when he gets old. " Hu Yi is a retired teacher in a university in Guangzhou. She also holds the same idea to let her sons "fly alone." "At that time, the foreign environment was better than that of China, and China was relatively backward. As long as the children are willing, some parents borrow money to let their children study abroad. " Hu Yi also suggested that her eldest son stay in China to study, but because she can't, she can't stay.

The eldest son 1987 went to Australia to study and settled down after graduation. 1996, the youngest son immigrated to Melbourne with his brother. At present, only she and her wife live in Guangzhou.

Three years ago, I heard that my only daughter was going abroad with her little grandson. The 77-year-old mother-in-law Zhao didn't even think about it, so she said she supported it. That year, Sun Tzu was only 13 years old, and his myopia reached 600 degrees before he graduated from primary school. In order to let the children accept another education mode and receive ophthalmic treatment at school age, the daughter decided to send them to Canada to study. You must have a guardian to go abroad to study, and it is natural for your daughter to go to Canada to accompany you.

In addition to the son-in-law who is still working in the local area, only Zhao He and his wife are at home.

Automatic admission to nursing homes is only open to children.

After her daughter immigrated, Tan Bo moved twice: once from Lantian Mansion on Haizhu South Road to Hongtuyuan in Fangcun, and moved from the 9th floor to the 2nd floor for the convenience of going up the stairs. The other time was two years ago, when I moved from Hongtuyuan to a nursing home, so that someone could take care of me.

The home for the elderly is located by the river. The room is clean and bright. When you open the window, you can see the Pearl River. The two old people regard this place as their home. On one wall hung the inscription of Tan Boxin's new humble room, and on the other wall hung the photos of him and his wife when they were young.

Shortly after her daughter immigrated, she hoped to apply for her parents to go together, but was rejected by the two old people. "Relatives and friends are here, went there, facing the three of them. It's boring for you to stare at me. " Tan Bo and his wife are lively. Although their daughter is away, the two old people actively participate in various entertainment activities after retirement, and their lives are very fulfilling.

Seven years ago, Mrs. Tambo was diagnosed with uterine tumor, accompanied by chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetes, and began to need the care of others. Because outsiders are not at ease, there has been no servant at home, and Tan Bo takes the responsibility of taking care of his wife, buying food, taking medicine and cooking. My wife is hospitalized four or five times a year, and Tan Bo is accompanying her 24 hours a day.

Because he was worried that his wife, who was alone at home, would not be taken care of when she went out, Tan Bo decided to move into a nursing home two years ago. "One of my wife's classmates lives here. Let's look at the environment and move in when we want to live. " Even when he came to the nursing home, Tan Bo insisted on being personally responsible for his wife's daily diet and went to buy food and soup every day.

Although Tan Bo still has many relatives in the local area, he always insists that he doesn't want to cause trouble to others: "Even his own children can't always take care of you. Don't give others problems. If you can solve it yourself, you can solve it yourself. "

On holidays, my nephew in Guangzhou will take two parents to a family gathering. "Of course I want to celebrate a family reunion, but knowing that it is impossible, I can only clean it myself. Every family structure is different, and it is not surprising that we can't spend the holidays together. " For more than 20 years, Tan Bo has never moved to America to see her daughter. "It is enough to know that she is doing well there."

After living in a nursing home for a year, the two old people also sold their original house. "My daughter takes root there and has a house in America. She will stay in a hotel when she comes back. It's no use keeping the house. " My daughter, a family of three, always goes back to China at different times. Every time she comes back, she has less than a week to visit the nursing home and have a meal. "Busy work, it is not easy to take a vacation." Tan Bo always thinks of his children and grandchildren.

Take care of yourself so as not to worry about your children.

According to the original plan, mother-in-law Zhao will immigrate with her daughter six years ago. Later, due to the policy change during the application process, it was impossible to go through the formalities smoothly. "Unfortunately, Canada's policy has changed. Old people like us used to pay 15 years of tax, so we will not do it. " Later, Zhao Popo didn't mention this to her daughter.

Mother-in-law Zhao said that her daughter would come back several times a year after going out. At present, her son-in-law who is a teacher is still working in Guangzhou. Summer vacation is coming, the couple will "jump ship", the son-in-law will fly to Canada to take care of the children, and the daughter will return to China. And every time my daughter comes back from Canada, she will take her mother around the city center.

In order to let her daughter worry less, her mother-in-law Zhao knows that her legs and feet are inconvenient. Every morning, she does leg exercises in bed for an hour and a half after getting up. Usually, mother-in-law Zhao will stroll around on a scooter and chat with people who are familiar with the community. "If it weren't for the osteonecrosis of my right leg two years ago, I wouldn't want to be in a wheelchair. One is because I don't admit defeat and feel hopeless in my life. "

Two years ago, Ye Zhao learned to use WeChat. Zhao said that she brushes her circle of friends every day, because her daughter and relatives are far away from her, and WeChat can know their news quickly. Zhao's WeChat name is "Kangaroo". It happened that when she was playing WeChat, her sister's grandson gave birth to a mouse, so she took this name. Speaking of life anecdotes, it is difficult to hide a smile on the old man's face.