What if the child is a teenager with a strong sense of self and is not good at gregarious?

To solve the problem of children's "unsociable", we must first know what causes children's "unsociable", and then put forward more targeted solutions. Why are children "unsociable"? Mom said that when children visit their home, the baby ignores others, and he won't let others play with his toys. Some mothers say that their children are particularly "slow-hot" and won't play with their children, but it can be seen that he has a desire to play with other children ... Through these performances of the baby, mothers begin to wonder if there is anything wrong with the baby, is it unsociable? In fact, this is just the normal development process of children. At a specific stage of psychological development, infants before the age of 3 are in the embryonic stage of game observer and sharing behavior. Research in child psychology shows that most babies before the age of 3 still like to play by themselves. When other children play by themselves, they are more spectators than participants. It is normal for a baby not to give toys to other children before he is 3 years old. At this time, the baby's spontaneous sharing behavior has not yet developed, which requires a lot of training from the mother. Therefore, the mother can't simply attribute the baby's behavior to "unsociable". The child's cognition is immature. Children aged 3 to 6 are in the stage of "instant playmates" in the friendship system. They call their playmates who often play with them friends. Children of this age are self-centered. They care about what other children can do for themselves, and even think that their friends think the same way. They will ignore or reject the idea that other children want to join the game, especially after the game starts. Because the children in the game have focused on the game story in front of them, they can't imagine how the game process will change after the new members join the game, so the behavior of children refusing other children to join the game at this time is not intentional "indifference" behavior, which is just their cognitive immaturity. So when we think that children are "unsociable", children may not really be unsociable. Children can't adapt to the change of environment. In the future, children will realize that their status in different groups is also changing in the process of moving from the small world of family to kindergarten and even the larger world. At home, children are generally in the center, and they are the little princesses and princes at home, and they are taken care of and protected by their families. However, the status of children in kindergartens will change, and children may be in a weak position for some reasons. For example, some children may be weaker than their peers, run fast enough and jump high enough in the game; Some children lack some qualities recognized by small groups and so on. Children lack social skills. The child left his mother's arms and started his own journey. The whole world outside is an unknown stranger to children. No one is born knowing how to deal with different people, which requires more than courage. Socialization is a kind of ability that needs to be carefully cultivated, and parents need to consciously teach their children various social skills. Tips: Let the baby learn to communicate with others and help the child develop the ability to communicate with others. Mom can do this. Don't label children as "introverted" and "unsociable" casually. Moms must have heard the old saying "three years old is a lifetime". The first few years of a child's life are the foundation of life, and its importance is self-evident. A child is not a blank sheet of paper that can be smeared at will. They have the ability to choose and absorb actively, but children believe what their mothers say most. When the mother says that the child is great, the child will feel great; On the other hand, if the mother thinks the child is "introverted", even if the mother doesn't say it, this information will be passed on to the child through the mother's attitude towards the child. When children receive such information from their mothers, they will gradually internalize "introversion" as a part of their own personality. In later life, when children are faced with opportunities that need courage to show themselves, mothers will say "introverted" voices, and even distrustful eyes will affect children and prevent them from seizing opportunities to show themselves. Therefore, mothers should trust their children, don't label their children at will, and don't allow others to label their children indiscriminately, because this "label" may affect the development of their children's lives. Expanding children's living space, children's experience of communicating with people outside their families is even limited, and their ability to communicate with others has no chance to be exercised. This is also one of the reasons why some children are withdrawn and can't make friends after going to kindergarten. Mothers need to expand their children's living space and consciously provide them with opportunities to learn interpersonal skills. When children can't take the initiative in interpersonal communication, mothers need to give them more guidance, teach them to communicate with other children, and create conditions and opportunities for their friendship. If children don't get along well with children of the same age at first, mothers can help them invite older or younger children to play with them first. Children are more likely to become leaders when playing with younger children, and he can feel confident and sense of accomplishment from this experience; When children play with older children, older children tend to take care of younger children, so children can feel a sense of belonging and protection from this experience. Mothers can also take their children to relatives and friends' homes or invite them to their homes. Before going to other people's homes, mothers can teach their children some hospitality etiquette; If someone comes to the house as a guest, the mother can tell the child how to be a small host in advance. Mothers can also take their children to various public places, such as supermarkets, cinemas, parks and so on. By going to these places, children have the opportunity to meet all kinds of people. Mothers can encourage their children to independently complete small tasks such as asking people for information and buying their favorite snacks. Teaching children polite expressions In life, mothers need to consciously teach their children to use polite expressions. "please; Thank you; Sorry; Please forgive me ... "These words will make children communicate more smoothly. Children want to join other children's games. If the child says, "Can I play with you?" "Mingming, can I build a building block with you?" This is more acceptable than just standing by and watching or saying "I want to play with you". In the game, I got the help of my partner to say "thank you", accidentally hurt my partner, and sincerely said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, please forgive me?" ..... Simple language can promote the development of friendship between children and improve their emotional intelligence. Teach children the skills of developing friendship through role-playing. Mothers can use role-playing to help children develop friendship skills. First, determine a short script and prepare role-playing props, such as two muppets. Then choose a time when the child is willing to finish the game with the child. Mother began to tell: "Jiang Mumu (Muppet) and Weiwei (Muppet) are playing games. They had a good time. Does the baby want to play with them? " If the child's answer is yes, the mother goes on to say, "The baby said to Jiang Mumu and Weiwei,' I want to play with you'." Waiting for the baby to say, "I want to play with you, too." Mom went on to say, "Hey, they didn't answer. Is the baby's voice too small for them to hear? " The baby said it loudly once. Baby: I want to play with you. "Mom:" This time they heard it. (Pause) Jiang Mumu and Weiwei, do you want to play with the baby? (pause) Oh, no? "Then the mother told the baby," Jiang Mumu and Vivian said they wouldn't play with you. Is the baby a little sad? "If the baby says yes, the mother can tell the baby," I asked Jiang Mumu and Weiwei again just now. They like babies, but this game only needs two people. Let's play with them next time. After a while, my mother said, "Jiang Mumu and Weiwei don't play games now." . Would the baby like to play games and invite them to play with you? If the baby gives a positive answer, the mother will say, "OK, the baby can say to Jiang Mumu and Weiwei,' Do you want to play Barbie with me?' Then let the baby hold Barbie and say to Jiang Mumu and Weiwei, "Do you want to play Barbie with me?" Mom: "Jiang Mumu and Weiwei really want to play Barbie with you. Babies can say to them,' Let's dress Barbie together! ""The baby said, "Let's dress Barbie together. ...... Finally, the mother encouraged and praised the baby. Mothers can use similar scripts to develop their baby's friendship skills. These ways of thinking and communication are conducive to the baby to develop friendship with his peers in the realistic friendship situation. Mom and dad should be good role models for children. If a family is full of apathy and there is a lack of warm communication and contact between family members, it is hard to imagine that children living in such a family environment will become enthusiastic and extroverted people. If mom and dad are bad people, the child is likely to be bad people. Therefore, parents should set a good example for their children, let them see you smiling at others, and let them see your warm and sincere communication with others.