My husband is very handsome, but after we got married, he always said that I was not good enough for him.

He is handsome and tall. Being in love with him makes me proud. I know where my crux is. I am completely fascinated by his appearance.

Let’s start from the beginning. Zheng Shuang and I are college classmates. At that time, he was tall and handsome, 1.80 meters tall, with very white skin and a scholarly temperament. Especially his eyes, which looked very much like the movie star Tony Leung, deep and passionate.

I remember it was the fall of 1990, and we were all freshmen. As the class monitor, he gave me the wrong uniform when he distributed it. It was already lunch time, so I argued with him and told him that if he didn't go to the teaching office to change for me, he wouldn't want to go to dinner. He smiled and said, "Can't you go by yourself?" I angrily refused to give up: "You made the mistake, so you have to go." Finally, he had no choice, so he accompanied me to the teaching office. During a casual chat on the road, I realized that he and I were fellow villagers.

From then on, Zhengshuang would come and chat with me whenever he had something to do, and gradually we became very familiar with each other. We spent more and more time together. We went to the streets together, ate together, went to class together, and every night after self-study, he always sent me back to the dormitory before he went back. But at that time, I just regarded him as a fellow countryman, and thought that was all he meant to me.

In a blink of an eye, the National Day holiday came, and all the classmates who were close to home went home. My home was far away, so I didn’t go back. Who knew that Zheng Shuang also chose to stay in school. The National Day and the Mid-Autumn Festival were very close that year, so the students who were not home gathered together to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival. After the party, I returned to the dormitory. I was about to do laundry when the door rang. I opened the door and saw that it was Zheng Shuang. I was a little surprised. Not long after we separated, he came to see me again. Could something be wrong?

When Zhengshuang came over that night, he brought a lot of delicious food. We chatted while eating, and we were very happy. Suddenly, Zhengshuang asked me: "Do you like me?" I was unprepared at the time, and I was frightened to tears by his sudden words. Maybe I had some good feelings for him before, but really, I never thought about this kind of problem before. He is so handsome, but I am so ordinary. Zhengshuang, who didn't get an answer from me, later told me bluntly that he liked me and would treat me well in the future.

In this way, we fell in love and spent our days in sweetness. At that time, I felt that walking beside the tall and handsome Zheng Shuang was a kind of pride and a kind of happiness.

Happiness is short-lived, I chose to quit the threesome

But happiness is too short-lived, and it didn’t take long for me to discover that the relationship between Zheng Shuang and his female deskmate was very unusual. They often cook together and go out on the streets together. Zhengshuang no longer does the things that he often did with me, and he is replaced by his female deskmate. I asked Zheng Shuang, but he blamed me instead and said I was too small-minded. After several arguments, Zheng Shuang refused to tell me anything, and I became angry and ignored him.

We began to have a cold war and gradually drifted apart. Two months later, as the final exam was approaching, an accident happened. Zheng Shuang suddenly fell seriously ill and was admitted to the hospital. I was worried and asked another classmate from our class to accompany me to the hospital to see him. Seeing the haggard Zheng Shuang on the hospital bed, I felt an indescribable pain in my heart and wanted to stay and take care of him. But I knew it wouldn't work. His female deskmate had been staying with him in the hospital since he was admitted. At that time, I didn't have the courage to fight.

Zheng Shuang’s hometown is in the mountainous area of ??western Henan, a very remote place. Communications were not developed at that time, so the school sent a telegram to his family. But the disease waits for no one. At that time, Zheng Shuang's condition worsened repeatedly and he urgently needed more money for further examinations. Our class teacher mobilized the whole class to donate money to him. Later, Zhengshuang finally saved his life and returned to school. His female deskmate took good care of him during his hospitalization and did not even attend the final exam in order to protect him. I thought that girl had paid so much for him, and he should treat her well and cherish her, so I chose to quit.

In the face of hurt, I chose to forgive again and again

But who knew, not long after, one night, a girl from the same dormitory came back and told me that someone was looking for me outside. When I walked out of the dormitory, I never expected that it would be Zheng Shuang. He said he wanted to have a good talk with me. We just walked around campus and talked. He thanked me a lot, said that he didn't like his female classmate, and it was that girl who kept chasing him. He also said that kindness does not equal feelings.

I understood what he meant. Although I still had him in my heart at that time, I didn’t want to get involved in feelings or heartache anymore. I just wanted to study hard.

In a flash, it was the internship period at the university, and we were assigned to different units. Not long after arriving at the internship unit, I received the first letter from Zhengshuang, saying that he was coming to see me. I thought he was just talking and didn't take it seriously. I had three days off during the May Day holiday and I went out to play for three days. After I came back, my good friend who lived in the same dormitory told me that Zhengshuang had come to see me and waited for me for three days. He even called me before getting on the train. He left his phone number and asked me to call him when I came back. I couldn't tell what it felt like at the time.

Husband