Man three is afraid to talk about it.

A man who cheats has four fears, and a wife who cheats has three self-deception.

1, four afraid of men cheating and soft help

There are four kinds of fears for men to cheat: first, they are afraid that their wives will find out that from then on, they will not be able to restore calm without transferring power and interests; Second, I am afraid of my wife's divorce, and I can only kneel down if I can't accept the sudden change; I'm afraid I can't break up, I can't get rid of my mistress, I can't break the trouble; Fourth, I am afraid of being pregnant with a third child, and I can't force the palace. I will expose my revenge, ask for money, and I will shoot myself in the foot.

Of course, we won't talk about men who cheat and men who fall in love with brains. Those men are not as mature as those who are receiving kidney transplants.

2, derailed wife 3 self-deception

The derailed wife deceived herself at three points: ① He didn't force him to leave, but he still had me in his heart; (2) He is afraid that I will find out that he still has me in his heart; He speaks ill of mistress because he still has me in his heart.

It seems that as long as he still has you in his heart, he will be saved, this marriage will be saved, and he will be saved. As everyone knows, it is not because he still has you in his heart that he can come back wholeheartedly, and this relationship is worth saving.

3. Lose control of feelings.

If you let yourself wait for his return in marriage on the grounds that he still has you in his heart and he still cares about your feelings, then you have completely lost control of this relationship.

Attention is the right to control this relationship, not the right to control marriage.

You're glad he's back; You are sad that he doesn't come back.

(2) you are happy that he broke three; He broke down and you were angry.

(3) You are glad that he is not divorced; He forced you to leave, and you were miserable.

(4) He coaxed you and you were happy; He's elusive, and you're suspicious.

Your life will be completely disrupted, wandering back and forth between Sherlock Holmes and his abandoned wife, wandering back and forth between divorce and a good life, constantly looking for clues that he still loves you to comfort himself standing on the edge of the abandoned cliff.

Being loved by him proves that he is valuable.

(1) Sometimes I get over it, thinking that I am rich and afraid of having a baby.

(2) Sometimes I can't figure out why he has one on each side. As a wife, I can't figure it out either.

Grieved, unwilling, but still unclear. So you let him cheat because you were afraid you would find out. Do you care about your feelings? In fact, don't you just want to find a reason that "I am still loved by him" and "can I forgive him?"

It seems that only by being loved by him can you prove your worth. However, does his indifference to our feelings represent our failure? Does he care about our feelings mean that this marriage can continue?

No, there is no causality. Don't confuse here.

5. Love or not does not mean divorce.

First, whether he loves me or not does not mean that I deserve to be loved. His behavior has nothing to do with our own values. Our value depends on our years of investment in the workplace and family, not whether he loves us or not.

Second, whether he loves me or not doesn't mean we want a divorce. It's not that he doesn't care about our feelings and doesn't love us. We want a divorce. It is not that he cares about our feelings. If he still loves us, we won't get divorced.

6. Divorce needs comprehensive consideration in many aspects.

Whether we can divorce depends on our own conditions and whether divorce is good for our lives. Divorce needs to be considered comprehensively from many aspects, such as property, future, children, the elderly and their own conditions.

Generally speaking, if we have the ability to live independently, and he is economically, emotionally and personally useless, then we can get a divorce.

If we don't have the ability to live independently, the first thing to solve is to let ourselves grow up quickly and have the ability to live independently, instead of thinking about whether he cares about himself or not and whether he still has us in his heart every day.

7. There is no standard for termination or repair.

Therefore, for a woman who has cheated, what you have to think about is not that she has cheated, but that she is afraid that her wife will find out, whether she cares about her feelings, but how I should treat him and treat this marriage and feelings.

There is never a standard answer to whether marriage is terminated or repaired when there is a crack. It is a decision based on personal needs and often depends on your own choice. Either choose what you can bear or bear what you choose. For marriage, whether you leave quietly or stay bravely, you must move towards happiness.