Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - The lines of Fan Wei and Gao Xiumin's essay "Caring for Your Heart"? Make it whole!
The lines of Fan Wei and Gao Xiumin's essay "Caring for Your Heart"? Make it whole!
M: It's a great reward for the Spring Festival. I'm offering my love to my customers. I am open-minded and full of energy. High-end fashion is on sale On holidays. Clearance sale is bleeding. Hey, auntie, come and have a look.
Woman: No, I'm afraid I'm covered in blood.
Man: Auntie, when I say bloodletting, I mean clothes are cheap. Come on, walk past, you can't miss it. Come, look at my clothes.
Woman: You don't have anything we can wear.
Man: Who said that, Auntie? This dress is so exciting.
Woman: It's too bright (lēi)
Man: Auntie, it's not as beautiful as sunset red. You always wear it so leisurely.
Woman: Haha ... I can't wear it.
M: Auntie ... Fitness pants can highlight your beautiful lines.
Woman: You can forget it. I don't stand out, and my lines don't stand out, so I can't wear the lumbar disc.
Man: Auntie ... Don't go, jeans.
Woman: Jeans.
Man: A mature woman's choice, you always have to-put it on, Titanic, you know?
W: I have never heard of Titanic. I often wear extra large.
M: I mean, you always have to-put on these jeans, just like the heroine in Titanic, stand in front of people, rub them and shake them.
Woman: You flatter me. With my fork, it is impossible to dump one piece, but it is better to overwhelm one piece, hahaha. ...
Man: Aunt, you are so humorous. Buy one.
Woman: Ah, give me a pair of jeans like this.
M: Yes.
Female: Three-foot-eight belt.
Man: this ... this is too fat!
Woman: I can't wear it.
M: You can't wear it. It doesn't matter. Buy one for your uncle. What is his waistline?
Woman: He is four feet six inches tall.
Man: Four feet. ...
W: Those two are just one after another.
M: Then buy two.
Woman: It's a pity that my old man doesn't have four legs. I'm very sorry, I can't wear it.
M: Auntie ... What exactly do you want to buy?
W: I want to buy a cotton-padded coat for my old man.
M: For my uncle.
Woman: Ah.
M: I didn't tell you before, but I did.
Woman: You don't have it here.
M: no problem. Yes, there must be. What my uncle needs is what I need.
Woman: Keep the change. I'll go there.
Man: Auntie ... clothes should not be sloppy. She looked around for clothes and finally looked at the yellow jacket on her. ) Look, Aunt, how about mine?
Woman: You're wearing them all.
Man: Auntie, I didn't wear this. This is a sample, different grades of samples are worn on different models, low-grade samples are dummies, and high-grade samples are displayed (posed) by living people. Ok, the original price of this dress is 260, and I 130 will sell it to you.
Female: 130, expensive.
Man: Well, keep the change. 100 won. Try it on.
W: I don't have to wear it.
Man: People are clothes and horses are saddles. See if it fits. Come on, put it on ... Oh, good, oh, aunt, this demeanor, this temperament, is a bit like an old disco.
Woman: Your uncle can wear this. ...
Man: I can't take it off, I can't take it off. What is empty is complete beauty, and what is taken off is the lack of beauty.
Woman: But your uncle.
Man: I can't take it off, I can't take it off. You have traveled all over the world. Without this discount, you have traveled all over China. I lost. Opportunity knocks but once. After this village, there is no such shop. you ...
Woman: I ... I bought it. I pay you to rest. Your sales here are a little disturbing.
Female (Gao Xiumin), B (black girl).
Hey, you sold that dress anyway.
Man: What's the matter, wife? You didn't sell 30 yuan in your hand, but my 100 yuan made him happy. Do you know what this is called?
B: What?
M: Ability.
B: Come on, don't be beautiful there. That dress is inferior. If the old lady found it at home, she wouldn't come to you.
Man: Looking for me? I didn't give her an invoice or a credit card. Looking for you, do you admit it?
That's true. Hey, what about the two suits?
M: They are all sold out.
Have you sold both sets of clothes?
Man: I sold thousands of dollars this morning.
Oh, my God, that's brilliant. I will treat you well today. Wait a minute.
Man: Go, go.
B: Eh ~
Man: Oh, (singing) "We ordinary people are happy today, we ordinary people are happy today". I'm so happy. I'm so happy. More than 3000 bills are in my waist. Oh, no, my money is in my pocket. Wife ~
Male (Fan Wei)
Honey, come and eat ... A? Why do people leave here and the beach here?
Female (Gao Xiumin)
Woman: boy.
Oh, it is broken. Your wife took it back.
Woman: Young man, ... (3) Yo, how did this racket change?
B: Who are you looking for?
W: I am looking for a young man who sells clothes here.
B: There are no boys here, only little wives.
Woman: A Just now, when I was shopping for clothes, a young man was selling clothes here.
B: You got it wrong.
W: I remember correctly. This is where I bought this dress.
B: This dress.
Woman: Ah.
B: We have never sold this kind of clothes here.
Woman: Ah, I just bought it here.
You must be mistaken.
W: I'm sure I remember correctly. I bought it here.
B: Do you have a receipt?
Woman: No.
What about the credit card?
Woman: No.
B: Then you have nothing. How can you say you bought it here?
Woman: I just ... I won't tell you. I will wait for the young man to come back. I'll tell him.
Ah ... you wait over there, don't stop me from doing business.
Woman: Why do you talk like a child?
what can I say? Well, look at this street selling clothes. Why didn't you like it when you bought it? Come back this time, who told you to come back?
Woman: Ah, girl, I didn't come back to return my clothes.
What are you doing here?
Woman: I'm here to refund my money.
B: Isn't that the same thing?
Woman: I ... Girl, let me ask you something. Do you and that young man come from the same family?
What's the matter, not what's the matter,
(There is still a paragraph in the middle, I can't find it, to the effect that Gao Xiumin asked the black sister if you sell clothes to help the poor? Black sister gave Gao Xiumin a dirty look, and Gao Xiumin turned and took out a roll of money from his pocket. Sister Hei wanted it, but Gao Xiumin didn't give it, and then Fan Wei came up)
Man: Me. ...
The young man who just sold your clothes?
Woman: Is that him?
Man and woman: Yes.
Woman: That's not such a big face.
M: Isn't it swollen? Alas, aunt, you forgot that I sold you this dress.
B: Ah.
Woman: No, you've never sold this kind of clothes here.
Man: Who said that?
Woman: She said that.
B: Me.
Man: You prodigal daughter-in-law, get down on your knees.
B: Who should kneel and where should I kneel?
(Fan Wei immediately kneels in front of Sister Hei)
Woman: Ha ... Oh, you are very skilled. Get up quickly. What is this, huh? ...
Man: Ah, daughter-in-law
B: Ah.
Man: Look how high this aunt smiles.
That's right, Jeremy Faith.
Man: Baby face.
B: Eyes.
Male: Single eyelid.
Woman: I'm a frog.
Man: Ah, auntie has good skin.
Hey, Bai.
M: Bleaching, bleaching.
Woman: Like a big steamed bun.
My aunt is kind-hearted.
B: Aunt, you are so lucky. Do you think you should believe anything?
W: Well, I believe in conscience.
Man: Aunt, it's easy for you to trust your conscience. Do you think there is a lot of money in this dress pocket?
What are you asking? Well, did aunt send us money?
Man: Auntie, you are my real mother, my mother, my grandmother, my grandmother.
Woman: Come on ... I will be a terracotta warrior in the future.
B: Aunt, I'm really sorry. I just ...
W: Okay, it's not easy for you two to sell clothes in the market, and it's not easy to take care of each other. Can I take this money? Remember, children, business, this price can be discounted, but a person's conscience can not be discounted. Check if it's enough.
M: Aunt.
W: What do you mean?
Aunt, take this dress. We gave it to you for free.
M: That's right.
Woman: Can I wear your clothes for free? This has all the capital.
Aunt, the plums on this dress are dirty.
Woman: Just wash it and it will be clean.
Man: Auntie, this is defective.
Female: Defective products.
Ah, the sleeves are very long.
Man: One sleeve is short.
Woman: One sleeve is long and the other sleeve is short.
Man: Ah.
Hmm.
Woman: Well, you can't buy this kind of clothes anywhere. I'm telling you, my old man is a sequela of cerebral blood injury. He has a long arm and a short arm. Goodbye!
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