I have a face that needs beating.

As the most hopeless young man in the village, I still don't understand why Lao Pi's daughter likes me.

I was born accidentally when my parents were working in the city, and I was the fourth in my family.

The situation at home was very difficult. At first, my father was going to abort me. Later, my mother's stubborn motherhood forced me to stay.

But in order to express my dissatisfaction, my father named me Mi Dan.

In our village, people call rotten eggs that are not covered with lime bad eggs, melons that don't grow well in the field and dates that can't bear good fruit on the trees are called bad eggs.

Now it seems that if I grow taller, more handsome and more flexible, my father will be very happy, because it doesn't seem to be a serious mistake to leave me behind.

However, none of them. As it turns out, I am short, inflexible and ugly, which adds to his dislike of me.

02

It is said that the mother's eccentricity hurts the youngest son the most, and my mother is indeed the most eccentric to me. At that time, due to family reasons, my two brothers and one sister only went to the fifth grade of primary school, and only I went to junior high school.

They also quarreled about it several times. On the day of registration, watching others leave early, I was very anxious at home.

Later, before my father woke up, my mother took money out of his coat pocket, and I turned and ran out happily.

In fact, I shouldn't have taken this money, but when I was young, I really envied watching other children go to school. After signing up, I went home and saw my mother's face was black and blue. I knew that she was beaten for this.

Later, I learned that this is all my dad's money. In order to collect enough money for going out to work, he borrowed it from someone else's house at night.

I don't hate him for not having the money to send me to school. I only hate myself for being redundant and not coming into this world, just like a local dog with nowhere to go in rainy days. The mud on his body stained every place he walked, but there was nothing he could do.

At that time, I often hung around the old ladies' gathering places to listen to their worship. They all believe in Jesus. Missionaries say that everyone is born guilty, so they must make amends to God.

I don't understand what she said, but I know I'm guilty. I barely live this life because of the charity of others, so I have food and clothing and can only do as they say. I never dare to ask anything at home, and I dare not cause trouble to others. I'm glad they can let me go to school.

03

Because I am short, I sat in the first row in the first grade. The Chinese teacher is a woman in her thirties. She always smells of perfume.

"Tell me, the most important thing is that you can't stay in the world. What does Zhu Yan mean by talking to the mirror? " Once she asked me casually.

Before I could answer, I heard a boy shouting, "Zhu Yan means to hit the face."

When he finished, everyone in the class laughed their heads off, and my face and ears were immediately burned with shame.

However, in the first three months of junior high school, the school suddenly increased the medical examination fee, and the class exploded. I am anxious and angry, and feel that the school is really not a person.

Fortunately, I am not the only one who is dissatisfied. Other boys in the class also smashed tables and benches. They clamored that if the money was collected by force, no one would get a piece. As a result, after a night, the next day they all paid the money obediently, leaving me alone.

I was too embarrassed to ask for money from home, so I had to put my new textbook in my coat and carry it home in my bag. When I came out of the classroom, I heard the Chinese teacher say behind me, "It's not worth dropping out of school for these tens of dollars." I paused and walked away without looking back.

My father is glad to see me back. He said: "It's just the right time to come back. You can't die without going to school."

These books are still on the bookshelf in my room, and I have torn them in some places.

04

Since I was young, I have been wandering around the village, picking up cow dung and sheep dung, garbage, iron and mushrooms that can sell money, but there are always other boys on the road who stop me until I knock over my basket.

They always stop me and ask me, "Shit, do you think you have the face to fight?"

I said, "Well, I have a face that needs beating."

They asked again, "Do you think your chin looks like an old lady's heel?" .

I said, "Well, my chin is like an old lady's heel", and then they would clap my head with a smile and let me go.

After being stopped by them several times, I secretly went to the river to look in the mirror. I found that I was really ugly in the water. As they say, my eyes have only a small crack, like two sesame seeds, and my lips are turned out, like biting two sausages. My front teeth protrude far away, just like kangaroos in cartoons, and my chin is flat and wrinkled, just like the heel of an old lady. I cried in the cornfield for a long time and never dared to look in the mirror again.

But it wasn't long before they stopped me again, and Lao Pi's daughter came to help me a lot.

There is a big slope in the north of the village, where many people learn bicycles, but there is a cesspit next to it.

During the summer vacation, Duoduo fell into a cesspit while learning to ride a bike. No one saw her, but her dog Hussey wandered around, barking, not knowing how to save her. I happened to be picking up garbage there, so I jumped in and pulled her out first, and then carried her little white bicycle covered with dung out.

At that time, there were many people standing on the pillars, watching and shouting.

Oh, my God, I learned how to save America by being a hero.

Since then, I have had a headache, and I can solve it with one more word.

Guys, step aside.

When they stop me again, she will come over and say this calmly but undoubtedly, and then they will walk away quietly because they and their father are afraid of Lao Pi.

05

Lao Pi is the most authoritative person in the village. When he was young, he studied martial arts with the martial arts master of the troupe, but he failed in singing. After he came back, he built up his prestige in the village by fighting a dozen, four dozen and five dozen hard battles several times.

When he was young, he was very thin, giving the impression that he was a foolhardy young man. Many people are afraid of him, but refuse to accept him. Later, I made friends with the people I hit, drank and played cards together, and gradually gained weight before I stabilized. But even those close to him, he still cursed with his mouth open, lifted his feet and kicked, just like Li Kui jy, the black whirlwind.

He once married a daughter-in-law, expecting her to have more children, so he named his first child many times in advance, but his daughter-in-law only gave birth to one daughter and died. This daughter is a lot.

Double eyelids, round face. She likes to tie her hair in a bundle since she was a child. She always leads her yellow dog named Husai on the road.

When she was a child, Lao Pi loved her very much. As soon as she pouted, Old Pi kicked everyone out of the room and began to coax her. Old skin hurts when you grow up, too. She cooks, cleans and washes clothes at home.

I don't like her helping me sometimes. I would rather be bullied by them as usual. As soon as she helped me, I felt I owed her something. The more she helped me, the more boys hated me and wanted to fix me.

Once she asked me why you always wear dirty clothes. I said I had no clothes. She said it has nothing to do with clothes, even worn clothes should be clean.

It was the first time that I told others what I thought, and it was also the first time that someone was willing to listen to me.

I told her, I don't know why, I think the cleaner and more beautiful they dress, the more I want to dress dirty and torn, and I don't want to be like them. Although they are well dressed, I think they are all poor. It's a lie that they dress so cleanly. I don't want to lie. I am ugly, so I should wear dirty clothes to match me.

After listening to my words, she said that I was a good person and should wear clean clothes. She also said that I can't pick up garbage all day and buy me seeds to grow vegetables.

06

At that time, I thought she was watching others bully me and helping me. She felt sorry for me. I pulled her out of the cesspit, and she thanked me, but I never thought she could have a crush on me.

Then one night, Lao Pi suddenly invited me to his house. When my dad heard about it, he walked around the house in a panic. He said, "If you give me any big trouble, I won't kill you."

I don't know what I did. After I went with many doubts, Lao Pi stared at me for a long time without saying a word. He sat on the sofa, frowning, as if looking at a wild dog without hair. Then he sighed, and I will marry Toto in a few days.

Duoduo is not very beautiful or ugly, but Lao Pi can marry him to any family in the nearby village.

My dad was overjoyed when he heard about it. He said, "Don't tell me, don't look ashamed. I didn't expect you to be lucky."

If there is anything that can satisfy my dad in this life, I'm afraid only Lao Pi's daughter will marry me. In his view, I must be useful to live, either to earn face or money, otherwise I should not live. If I was born disabled, he would definitely throw me away without hesitation.

In order to let me get married, my father gave me five acres of land, and the bungalow was built at the expense of Laopi, in the open space on the west side of the village. Then we go to get a marriage certificate, which says Li Bidan and Ma Duoduo. I just realized that Lao Pi was originally called a horse.

On the wedding day, Lao Pi and my dad became in-laws, but he still didn't take a serious look at my dad. "Gao Gao, pour me wine," he said proudly.

Then my dad fell on him as usual, and his eyes seemed disappointed with the marriage.

At night, I sat on the new mattress that Lao Pi paid for, and I couldn't figure out what was going on at all. I'm afraid this is a dream and a misunderstanding. Toto is very kind to me, but I don't seem to want to marry her, because she is Lao Pi's daughter, and they will say that my toad wants to eat swan meat.

Seeing me sitting there motionless, she came to me on her own initiative. She didn't say a word, just looked at me face to face. I feel that the air is frozen and my nose can't breathe.

Then she took my hand and pressed it on her chest. It's so soft that I gradually lost myself. Listening to her breathing in the dark, my mind went blank, and then I melted like a candy.

07

After getting married, I still grow vegetables and take dewdrops to pick them every morning before dawn. Then ride three rounds to the town to sell, many of them do housework at home and give the old belt rice.

We were drying grain in the square outside the village. Once when I was selling vegetables in town, it suddenly got dark and there was a strong wind, so I was busy moving vegetables into the house alone.

When I finally got home, I saw Hussein lying next to the sack, and all the food was piled up in the house, but she collapsed in her chair and became a vegetable.

Old Pi came when he heard this, staring at me angrily, as if he were going to kill me soon.

"You really have a face that needs beating." He scolded me and beat me to the ground. My throat is full of blood, and I lost two teeth on my left side.

In order to treat Duoduo, I sold all my food, and Lao Pi also resold several of his trucks. After half a year's treatment, there is still no sign of improvement, but we have no money.

The doctor said it was best to keep it like this without further treatment. But Lao Pi has been raising money. He said that as long as there is money, it can be cured.

Later, he cheated in the city, and they broke his legs, both of which were broken. He is no longer the young man who used to be able to fight four dozen and one dozen five. Later, he has been sitting in a wheelchair.

After not sending him any more meals, he cooked by himself. Every morning when I pass by his door to sell vegetables, I will pick two bundles of the best and put them down.

In fact, his original nickname was Old Beer, and people praised him as a good drinker. Only after his leg was broken did he become an old man.

Maybe everyone has been bullied by him for too long, and now they can't walk, and even children are not afraid of him. Seeing him sunbathing at the door, I threw a stone at him from a distance.

Adults like to shoot their sons when they pass by. Mention it on the back of his head. At first, he was scolded in a wheelchair, just like a lion trapped in a cage for the first time, but later he got used to it and stopped cursing.

08

Without the protection of Lao Pi, they began to laugh at me again. Just like when I pick up garbage, they always stop me and ask, "Shit, do you think you have the face to fight?"

Now they have grown up with me and stopped my tricycle to ask me.

"Good egg, do you think you are a jinx? If you marry too much, you will be paralyzed, and now even your father-in-law is in trouble. "

Damn it, Toto is like a log now. Tell me what you do at night.

Perhaps I was curious after listening to what the adults said. In the evening, some children often lie prone on the walls and windows of my house. They all want to see how Duoduo became Woodenhead and how I did it.

At first, when they were lying on the wall, Hussein always shouted at them. Later, they thought Hussein was in the way, so they threw some rat poison in from the outside. Hussey couldn't tell good from bad, so he ate it and died the next day. There is blood in his eyes and ears. I buried it under the jujube tree in the yard.

My dad came over yesterday, and he asked me to divorce Toto. He said, "Old Pi is like this now. If you send her back, she won't dare to say anything. "

Seeing that I couldn't say a word for a long time, he said, "It's true that you are a coward. You are such a fool. " Then he left in anger.

Now I have nothing to satisfy him. I'm still that useless person, just like a melon that doesn't grow well in the field and a jujube that doesn't bear well on the tree.

After the road was built outside the village, life in the village was a little better. You can watch satellite TV, use gas stoves and induction cookers.

I'm in no hurry. I'll burn firewood slowly in the kitchen. I don't watch satellite TV either, so I put a radio beside my bed. I listen to it with Duoduo. The doctor said that it is good for the patient to talk to her more and let her listen to her voice.

I always feel that I must be a jinx and a nemesis when I rub a lot of body. Otherwise, how could she be so good? If only she wouldn't marry me.

It's autumn again. Duoduo married me at this time last year, but this year she is lying here.

As the most hopeless young man in the village, I still don't know why Lao Pi's daughter likes me. I just feel, I'm really sorry, Toto.

Sometimes I draw water in the tank and look at the shadow inside. I really want to beat myself up.

Maybe, I really have a face that needs to be beaten.