Riding thousands of miles to “retrieve” my mother

Late at night on October 4, after 32 years of separation, Yu Changhua met her mother again on the side of the road in Chengdu, 1,600 kilometers away from her hometown.

When Yu Changhua was 3 years old, her mother left home. From then on, her mother's name became a taboo for the whole family. Yu Changhua could only get a little information about her from the rumors in the village: she was abducted from other places and left Shandong because of leukemia. She may have died long ago.

After his father and grandmother passed away one after another, Yu Changhua fell in love with cycling all over the world. But "mother" has always been an obstacle that she can't overcome, even though Yu Changhua can't even remember her appearance.

In September 2022, 35-year-old Yu Changhua decided to start the last long-distance ride in her life, with the goal of "finding her mother."

Yu Changhua rode a motorcycle, starting from his hometown of Luquan Town, Dongming County, Heze City, Shandong Province, and traveled through several provinces and cities such as Hubei, Hunan, Chongqing, and Sichuan, covering thousands of kilometers. While walking, she inquired about the information left behind by her mother, and posted a video of her search for her mother on the video platform, unexpectedly becoming an "Internet celebrity".

"Like a gift from fate," one month later, Yu Changhua found her mother in Chengdu as she wished. The moment I saw my mother again, surprise, joy, bitterness, confusion...all emotions rushed into my heart in an instant.

My mother took a long leave and returned to Shandong with Yu Changhua. For more than ten days, mother and daughter learned to get along as if they had never been separated.

The following is Yu Changhua’s self-report:

In October 2022, after Yu Changhua found her mother, she went with her to the Wuhou District Police Station in Chengdu City to deliver the banner. . Photo provided by the interviewee

32 years of "life without mother"

On October 14, I tried to cook fish soup for my mother. This was the first time I made it in 35 years. fish.

The result can be imagined. I followed the recipe step by step, but the skin fell off as soon as the fish entered the pot, and the soup was not white. I thought it tasted terrible, but my mother said it was delicious. I told her carelessly, "You are telling lies with open eyes." The video was posted online, and some netizens criticized me as "too rude to speak to elders like this."

Netizens may be right. During the 32 years I was separated from my mother, no one taught me how to talk to her.

In 1987, I was born in a rural area in Heze, Shandong. My father was a taciturn man who made a living by making coffins in the village. I was raised by my grandmother. In my childhood memories, my mother is nowhere to be seen.

For many years, they said almost nothing about my mother, and I didn’t dare ask. I pieced together a lot of information about my mother from the villagers’ chats after dinner.

The villagers said that the mother was abducted by human traffickers and did not know her real name and origin. Before being brought to Shandong, my mother had married from Sichuan to Shaanxi and gave birth to two children. When I was three years old, my mother gave birth to a younger brother, who only lived four months before he died. My mother was hit hard, fell ill again, and wanted to return to Sichuan. Her father gave her a traveling allowance, but her mother never came back.

People in the village also said that the mother had leukemia and was probably dead long ago. Later, I found a hospitalization slip from the county hospital, which showed that my mother had been admitted to Batian Hospital. But I thought, maybe it was a misdiagnosis?

After his mother left, his father farmed during the day and went to the brick kiln to bake bricks at night. My father is a very traditional man, always mumbling that people in the village will look down on him if he doesn’t have a son, but in fact he is very good to me.

I only have a primary school education. Not long into junior high school, I had a car accident and injured my leg. There was no hospital nearby and my family had no money. It took a long time to get cured. Later, I stopped going to school and had to work outside.

In 2008, I arrived in Beijing and worked three jobs a day. I get up at four o'clock in the morning to deliver the morning paper, meals at noon, and an evening paper in the evening. I work more than ten hours a day. I can still recall the scene of delivering pizzas on a bicycle on a snowy day. I was hit by a car on the road and often fell asleep in the elevator.

Later, in order to be able to deliver food on the store’s motorcycle, I took a motorcycle driver’s license and learned to ride a motorcycle. But the boss only allowed male delivery workers to ride, so I quit.

When I was 20 years old, my grandma passed away, and when I was 26 years old, my father also passed away.

Losing them is a more real sadness than losing my mother, because I am really only one person left. Over the years, except when I went out to work, I lived by myself in the small courtyard left by my father. Sometimes I didn’t go home for three or four months, and the grass in the yard could be as tall as one person.

When I was a child, I always missed my mother, guessing what she looked like, whether she could sew buttons, and whether she would pick me up from school on rainy days if she didn't leave. After reading martial arts novels, I wondered whether my mother would also receive help from an expert and be cured of her illness; but if she was like what was written in the novel, lying sickly every day in a mountainous area, wouldn't it be right? Very torturous?

As I grew up, I got used to life without my mother. Rural areas in Shandong attach great importance to the rituals of the New Year, and families must reunite despite all the hardships. The Chinese New Year is the time when I miss my mother every year. Sometimes I am in my hometown, and more often I work outside. There is no New Year’s Eve dinner, so I eat steamed buns to cope with it.

I think if my mother was here, no matter what, I would go home and cook a pot of dumplings with her.

When I was a child, I always thought that I would make money and be successful when I grew up, so I took my mother back. But I have been alone for too long these years. I miss my mother so much that I can’t bear it anymore. I want to get my mother back.

On October 12, Yu Changhua received the "Notice of Confirmation of Family Relationship Identity" at the police station. Photo provided by the interviewee

Riding thousands of miles to "find my mother"

Actually, I never thought that I would really be able to find my mother, and this was not the first time I tried.

I called the TV station’s family search program several times, and went to Chengdu twice in 2012 and 2018, but there were no clues.

This summer, I did not go out to work and sell melons in the town. Later, due to the epidemic, I couldn't go to the market, the melons were no longer sold, and the original cycling plan was also cancelled.

At the end of August, I decided to take the money I earned from selling melons and ride a motorcycle to find my mother again. I thought that this should be the last long-distance ride in my life. Even if I couldn't find my mother, it would be better if I could find my grandma or my brothers and sisters over there. After all, we all share the same blood, and being able to meet them can also sort out the knot in my heart that has been with me for more than 30 years.

Since I don’t know where my mother’s hometown is, I have no clues such as memories, photos, names, etc. I can only ask around while walking. The biggest advantage of riding a motorcycle is that it is very convenient to search within a small area.

On September 1st, I set off from the village by bicycle. Due to the epidemic, it was difficult to get through Zhengzhou, so I rode to Changsha first, and then detoured to Wuhan a few days later. I was flying around like a headless fly without any clue.

The most difficult section was the winding mountain highway in Chongqing. It was steep and steep, and it rained all the time. My whole body was soaked through, and raindrops kept hitting the helmet baffle. In Henan, I was hit by a car once. If I hadn't turned quickly, I might have died.

Along the way, I met an injured old lady and sent her to the hospital. Pig feed, a driver's license, a trolley were picked up, and a camera and a mobile phone were also lost.

In order to recover the camera, I posted the first video of this ride on the video platform, hoping that the person who found it could help me bring it back.

In order to find clues about her mother, Yu Changhua (nickname Cuihua) posted videos on social platforms while riding. Image source: Internet screenshot

I have been struggling with whether to talk about finding my mother in the video, because I am afraid that others will laugh at me if they see it. But then I thought, what if someone can help me find my mother? In the end, I gritted my teeth and took the risk. Just laugh at the joke.

When I walked to Hubei on September 25, I recorded a video, the general content of which was "I am Yu Changhua, born in 1987, riding out to find my mother." In the video, I mentioned the Sichuan police and various relevant units, hoping to help me find my mother.

I didn’t expect that the video would receive thousands of comments immediately after it was posted. The next day, the Sichuan police contacted the police station in our town to learn about the situation. Our village director also saw it and told me that he could help me contact an aunt who might know about my mother’s situation.

This aunt is also from Sichuan and returned to Sichuan from our village twenty years ago. Perhaps because they are from the same hometown, her mother once told her where she was from. Unexpectedly, this aunt did not answer calls from Shandong at all.

I asked again and again for her son’s phone number and begged him to put in a good word for me. The aunt finally answered the phone and told me that my mother's name is Song Yumei and she is from Lezhi County, Sichuan.

It’s incredible. I have been looking for such a simple answer for 30 years.

I checked on the Internet and found that it was not a big deal, so I planned to print out hundreds of missing persons notices when I got to the local area. At worst, I would ride a motorcycle from mountain to mountain and inquire from house to house. It doesn’t take long to ask.

But just one day later, I received news from my hometown again, saying that Mianyang, Sichuan is my mother’s hometown. I was confused all of a sudden, so I could only send another video, saying that my mother might also be from Mianyang. It was also from that time that some netizens began to suspect that I was a liar.

After Yu Changhua found her mother, she took her first selfie with her. Photo provided by the interviewee

Mother and daughter meet again

But I thought, since I was sure I was in Sichuan, I would ride to Chengdu first.

On September 29, we finally arrived in Chengdu. Sichuan is such a big place, and the only clues it has are hard to distinguish between true and false. I can only post the video online over and over again, hoping for a miracle to happen.

On October 4, I received a private message that said, "Your mother is in Chengdu, in Wuhou District."

Since the video went viral, I have received All kinds of scammers left messages, and people still send me private messages to this day. I was equally dubious about this piece of information and asked the other party if there was any evidence. But the other party just kept saying that he wanted to chat privately and meet in person. I took it for granted that this might be another liar, so I blocked him directly.

That night, I received a call from the Luquan Town Police Station. Only then did I know that the person I blocked said he was my brother because a relative of my grandma’s family saw my video and thought we looked alike, so he told my mother. After my mother saw the video, she asked my brother to contact me. . After being blocked by me, he repeatedly contacted the Luquan Town Police Station.

My brother and I got in touch and made an appointment to meet on the side of a road in Chengdu at 10 o'clock that evening.

On the way there on the motorcycle, my heart suddenly rose to my throat. I couldn’t believe it completely, but I couldn’t help but look forward to it.

At 10:30 in the evening, I came to the agreed roadside and found two people standing not far away. The old lady among them looked very thin, small, and had long hair. Her face could not be seen clearly in the night.

For a long time, "mother" has been more like an abstract concept in my brain than a concrete image. But now, she is standing in front of me, no longer in my childhood dream.

She suddenly grabbed my hand, held it tightly, and said over and over again, "How could I have such a well-behaved daughter, such a good daughter?" Listening to her unfamiliar Sichuan dialect, I was not only surprised and excited, but also confused, "Is this really my mother?" I was confused and just asked a few questions about my hometown mechanically. Maybe because she was old, she couldn't remember some of them. After answering a few words, she became excited again.

Time flies so fast, I feel like it’s already 11pm before I say a few words. Mom is leaving, and she has to do cleaning at six o'clock the next morning. I listened to the difficult dialect and looked at my mother in the dark, her thin body slightly hunched.

After making an appointment for a DNA test on the afternoon of October 6, we separated. Later I discovered that my mother and I look very much alike, especially our mouths, which are exactly the same.

DNA testing costs more than 10,000 yuan. We started to think it was a bit too expensive and decided not to do it. I am really grateful to the Sichuan police. Not only did they not charge a penny, they also helped us expedite the process and got the preliminary identification results in four hours.

On the afternoon of October 12, I took the banner to the Wuhou District Police Station and got the final DNA test results. Everything was true. From the age of 3 to 35, I finally saw my mother again.

I was struck by good luck.

Even though I had the identification results, I still couldn't believe it. Everything was so dramatic, like I was still in a dream.

I was ready to knock on doors, and I was ready to face my mother leaving. But that video with more than one million likes and more than 70,000 comments made me find my mother.

It was only a month before I set off from Shandong, and even many netizens questioned whether I was acting or promoting. I was a little angry at first, but then I didn't care anymore. I found my mother.

However, I still feel a little regretful when I think about it. If only the video had been posted online a few years earlier, maybe my mother could have been found earlier.

In the yard of her hometown, Yu Changhua washed her mother's hair for the first time in her life. Internet screenshots

"Strange sense of reality"

After a few days of getting along with each other, I got out of the daze when I first found my mother and had the feeling of being with my mother. The “strange reality” of life.

When I was in Chengdu, I went to where my mother worked and went shopping with her. I found that she knew how to use a smartphone and carry a small bag when going out to eat. She was very fashionable and completely different from the sickly person I imagined.

The strangeness between us was quickly dispelled. I took my mother to Wuhou Park and had dumplings and hot pot. My mother doesn’t like dumplings, but in my hometown’s tradition, dumplings must be eaten during reunions.

While eating, my mother held my hand and cried. She said she felt very guilty for giving birth to me but not raising me. I told her, you have also suffered a lot, and many things happened out of your control. After hearing what I said, she kept hugging me and crying.

After the policeman from the Wuhou District Police Station talked with my mother about the situation, he told me to treat my mother well, "She has suffered so much in her life."

From Sichuan to Shaanxi to Shandong , returned to Sichuan, my mother gave birth to four children, and my younger brother died just four months ago. Now in his 60s, he is still doing cleaning work, earning 2,000 yuan a month.

Mom has her own family now, and I don’t want to disturb her too much.

I plan to take my mother back to Shandong for a few days, then send her back to Chengdu, and then ride a motorcycle to Shaanxi to see my brothers and sisters I have never met before. After the family is reunited, I will ride back to Shandong. . This last and most important long-distance ride in my life has come to an end.

After discussion, I bought a ticket back to Shandong. On October 13, I took my mother on a plane for the first time in my life. After I returned to Shandong, I learned that I had to be quarantined at home for seven days. I was secretly glad that I could spend a few more days with my mother.

I have always been a carefree person. I often eat steamed buns and instant noodles when riding. Usually at home, the steamed buns are moldy and I peel off the skin and continue to eat them. I can handle it alone, but it's different with my mother.

My mother is not used to life in Shandong. She doesn’t like steamed buns and dumplings, and she doesn’t like to drink mutton soup. She says “chili is her life.” I couldn’t understand my mother’s Sichuan dialect at first. The air in Chengdu was too humid and I developed a lot of rashes due to allergies. But we have chosen to ignore these.

Although I had many questions about the "blank" of more than 30 years, I chose not to ask, and we both tacitly agreed never to talk about my father and the past. After years of wandering around, my mother's psychological burden has been too heavy. I don't want her to think of the sad past.

The weather has gotten colder in the past few days. I asked my mother to put on my thick clothes and picked the ripe pomegranates in the yard for her to eat. My mother often gets up early in the morning, weeds in the yard, grows vegetables with me, and makes dumplings for me that she doesn’t like.

I also cook and wash my mother’s hair. Her hair was almost gray, and when it got wet, it looked like it had turned black, as if we had gone back in time.

At night, we slept together on the only bed at home, and my mother smiled and hugged me. Lying in my mother's arms, I felt like I was three years old again. She never left.

Beijing News reporter Hou Qingxiang editor Yuan Guoli proofread Li Lijun