The jokes that couples can tell must be amusing, and the dirty jokes of girls are also acceptable.

1, Xiao Ming asked his father: Dad, am I a stupid child? ? Dad said: silly child, how can you be a silly child?

2. The old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

3. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down by the earthquake. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's fucking backwards!

5, 20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus, everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. "

6. An old farmer is hoeing in the field. A crow flew by and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Fuck you! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "ah! You shit and wear underpants! "

7. There is a fat man. ..........

Jump off a tall building ...

It turned out to be .......

Fat guy ...

8. A woman took counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The stall owner was annoyed: "Elder sister, even if you give counterfeit money, at least it is printed. This one of you is actually painted! Forget drawing, to say the least. You can draw ten pieces of five pieces or seven pieces! Seven is seven, at least you have to draw in color, even with a pencil. Forget it, black and white is black and white, but you can't draw with toilet paper! The feel is too bad. Even toilet paper, cut the edge with scissors. This one was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. Ok, I tolerate burrs, but you can also tear a rectangle. This triangle is too unreasonable. ...........

9. In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and there stood a farmer in Tanaka, his clothes were torn and his face was dark. He said with tears in his eyes, stealing a cabbage is worth shelling?

10, the man was away on business and suddenly went home. At the door, he heard the man snoring. The man walked away silently and sent a text message to his wife: divorce.

Three years later, his wife told him that he was a little lion rising in Ran Ran!

These should be enough, it is best not to say dirty jokes unless you have deep feelings:

1 is bigger than loading. Me: Dude, where did you get rich recently?

Dude: Gee, it's not rich to run a small business.

Me: Yo! Be the boss, okay.

Dude: (smirking) No, no.

Me: By the way, I'm getting married. Remember to come to the wedding banquet.

Dude: What ~ Speak up ~ Hey ~ The signal is bad here ~ I can't hear you clearly.

Me: (yelling) What the hell are you doing? I am calling your landline.

Dude: ...

This is a fact.

Friends are talking about mistress, contempt and worship. Someone asked, "What is the most important thing for you to have a mistress?" Someone replied: car, ticket. Some people also answered: house. Suddenly, a voice came from the corner: "You must have a wife first." The audience was silent. .

Don't come again. I love men.

She met him in a lovelorn and drunken rainy night and fell in love with him without hesitation. She cooks for him, washes clothes and takes care of the family affairs, but he always just looks at her faintly. Finally one day, he said to her: Don't come again, I love men. She looked shocked, threw him on the bed and said, damn it! If you didn't tell me earlier, I would pretend to be a crazy woman! !

Four rolls of sheets Go away!

Excuse me, did this girl promise me? A netizen asked, "I have long wanted to hook up with a girl."

Today, I finally got up the courage to say that gorgeous voice: "Roll the sheets?"

Her answer is also very firm: "Get out!"

Ask everyone ... did this girl promise me or not? "

5 dialogue between virgins, laughing and urinating.

A boyfriend and girlfriend are in love, and the man wants to go further.

Man: Are you a virgin?

W: Well, are you a virgin?

Man: Of course!

Woman: This is the first time. I am afraid of pain. I had better not.

M: I'll be careful. It won't hurt.

Woman: Every time you men say that, it hurts me …

M: that's because they are all novices ~