Children are withdrawn and unsociable? Understand these three points and let children quickly integrate into peer groups.

The boudoir took the child Doudou to school and found that all the other children were walking together in twos and threes, only Doudou was alone. The boudoir began to pay attention, and then inadvertently pretended to ask about peas. Doudou immediately cried and said that the children in the class didn't play with themselves.

The boudoir immediately panicked and went to the teacher to help the child. The teacher was also very helpless: "The child's interpersonal relationship has to be expanded by himself. Although I can stop other children in my class from bullying him, I can't interfere with others playing with him. "

I have no choice but to turn to Monducci for help. To tell the truth, many times parents don't understand why primary school children have their own social circle like adults, and they also isolate their children.

Burke's book "Psychology of Lifelong Development" mentioned a word "peer group effect", which is defined as: peer group refers to the social structure with unique values, behavioral standards and leaders and followers.

What does this mean? In fact, these children who have their own small groups at school are all based on similar gender, race and prestige.

After these fixed partner groups are formed, people in this group will have a strong sense of belonging. Later, when they concentrate on the same activities, they will form a social structure of leaders and followers, and they can also acquire many social skills spontaneously.

Just like when we were at school, every time after class, everyone would take time to jump rubber bands and throw sandbags with friends during recess. Almost everyone in the class has their own group.

If the child is isolated, the impact on the child is great.

Children will become tired of learning.

People are social animals, and sociality is also human instinct. No matter how quiet a child likes, he will also want someone to interact with him, make friends, chat with friends and talk about the troubles in his study and life.

If the child is isolated at school, it means that he sends any signal to the people around him. Others pretend not to know and don't accept it. A child will become tired of learning because he hates such a social environment.

Children often don't make good friends.

The child was isolated by his classmates, and he felt the malice from them. He may unite with those "bad boys" to protect himself or find new friends. If a child associates with people in society. Then children are likely to go astray, either learning to do bad things or doing nothing.

The child's personality has become withdrawn and sensitive.

When a child is isolated by his classmates, the child feels that he is a loser and others hate him. This will make children unconsciously reflect on themselves and see if they are not good enough or wrong. This will make others dislike themselves and how can they be liked by others.

When children are caught in constant reflection and self-blame, their personality will become withdrawn, sensitive, thoughtful and thinking-loving. Sensitivity will make children feel that others don't like themselves more, thus falling into a vicious circle.

So if children are excluded from the group, what can we do to help them integrate into the classmates quickly?

Look for the bright spots in children and help them become excellent.

As we said before, the information of each group of companions is relatively close to each other. In other words, if children want to join the "peer group" of their classmates, they must first find their similarities with others. Similar to this * * *, there are good and bad, and the academic performance is among the best, and the second exam is at the bottom. I believe that parents will definitely let their children join the former.

In the eyes of most people, a "good boy" is good at studying, being polite and having good habits, and it is best to have his own specialties.

If parents can help their children improve their learning and social skills, let them behave well in school and communicate with their peers in a cheerful, friendly and cooperative way. Children have a bright spot, and naturally it is easier to make friends.

Teach children to learn "praise"

There is an old saying that "reach out and don't smile." If a stranger praises us when we meet, we will definitely have a good impression on this person, so we are willing to associate with him for a long time.

Similarly, in order to make children popular, the first thing to do is to let children learn to appreciate and praise others. However, blind praise may cause others' disgust, so we should teach children certain skills and let them say good praise.

When we want to tell children to praise others, it is best to cooperate with sincere tone and eye movements, because people's expressions and body movements are often subconscious and will not be disguised. Sincere compliments can be accompanied by smiles, surprised or exaggerated eyes to express admiration and awe.

Moreover, praise must come from the heart. Because only when you really appreciate others will you get into the habit of praising others at any time.

Parents should set an example and influence their children's words and deeds, because a parent who doesn't appreciate others can never really teach his children to praise others.

Learn to respond to others.

Some children will respond to other people's calls when they are in a good mood and ignore them when they are in a bad mood, so it is impossible to make real friends by acting on their own feelings.

We should let our children form the habit of responding to others in time. Responding to others may be just a "hey" or a smile and a friendly gesture.

But these kind feedbacks will subconsciously send a message to others, that is, "I am willing to be your friend, and I am ready to repay your kindness at any time."

Be a strong self

These are all skills to get along with people. However, pleasing others and making others happy are not the only needs of our social interaction. In Monducci's view, being yourself is more important than being the person others like.

When children are isolated by classmates, it is a good thing to actively find contradictions and actively solve them. But if things can't be solved, don't let the children compromise, make concessions and please their classmates. If you can't change your situation in the face of isolation, it is a good solution to adapt to the environment and be stronger.

When children are isolated, we parents should first care about their children, accept their emotions, and don't complain and blame them. When we understand the situation, we will help the children out of the isolated predicament step by step.