Should a mother-in-law care about her daughter-in-law’s private life?

I think it is unreasonable.

The living habits of many young people today are different from those of the older generation. Some old people know how to respect their children and know that their children have grown up and have their own way of life; People impose their own thoughts and behavior habits on their children, and in turn accuse them of being hypocritical and ungrateful. Fang Lian felt that this must be wrong. Times are constantly developing, and young people have their own bottom lines and forbidden areas. It is the elders’ duty not to touch their bottom lines and forbidden areas. Otherwise, constant testing and touching will only make young people angry. When a generation collapses, the entire family will have cracks and will no longer be as perfect and harmonious as before.

The older generation is poor, and maybe several people use one toothbrush. Modern young people have to brush their teeth on time at night; the older generation has several people sleeping in the same bed at night, while modern young people have to sleep on the same bed at night. Prefer to have their own independent private space. All kinds of conflicts are more concrete between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. According to traditional virtues, a daughter-in-law should respect her mother-in-law. However, if the mother-in-law takes this respect as a sign that her daughter-in-law is easy to talk, but instead takes advantage of her and fails to respect her daughter-in-law's bottom line, the consequences can be imagined.

There are many disputes between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in life, and some even fight over trivial matters. Little do they know that in the eyes of others, this has become a topic of conversation after dinner. Now when it comes to the way to get along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is to treat mother-in-law as one's mother and daughter-in-law as one's daughter. In fact, it is not necessary. The mother-in-law behaves like a mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law should do her duty as a daughter-in-law. The two of them should maintain an appropriate distance and at the same time respect each other as guests. This is the best state. Unfortunately, very few mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can do this in real life.

When I was in my early 10s on Tuesday, I went out to work hard and met a city girl named Xiaomei. The two fell in love and finally decided to get married. Xiaomei's parents also respect her ideas. Even if their daughter who has been accustomed to marry a countryman for a lifetime, as long as he treats her better, her parents also respect her ideas and buy a house with full payment for the two young people to settle down. The young couple lived a harmonious life. Xiao Mei loved cleanliness and always kept the house clean. Da Zhou was also discerning and never destroyed anything in the house, cherishing the fruits of Xiao Mei's labor.

Due to company relocation, Xiaomei was sent to a company in other places for a month these days. Before leaving, she specifically asked Dazhou to remember to clean up every few days to keep her home clean. Dazhou agreed repeatedly, and Xiaomei set off with peace of mind. The matter was resolved smoothly. Xiaomei booked a ticket in advance and prepared to sneak home to give Dazhou a surprise. Unexpectedly, it was not a surprise, but a shock.

Before Xiaomei even entered the house, she heard bursts of babies crying. After confirming again and again that this was her home, Xiaomei opened the door in confusion. Xiaomei was shocked by what she saw. There were slippers piled up in front of her house, a broom was lying across the middle of the living room, and her mother-in-law was sitting on the sofa, eating melon seeds. The ground was covered with melon seed shells. The mother-in-law obviously didn't expect Xiaomei to come back early, and she immediately stood up from the sofa, her face looking a little strange.

Xiaomei thought of her parents’ instructions to her when she got married, and suppressed her dissatisfaction and called her mom. The mother-in-law still reluctantly agreed, holding Xiaomei's hand unnaturally, dragging her to sit on the sofa and asking her to tell her about her business trip. ?What’s there to say?? Xiao Mei muttered, looking at the messy living room. Xiao Mei just wanted to go back to her room to rest, and wait until Da Zhou came back to ask what was going on. But when she ignored her mother-in-law's obstruction and pushed open the door of her wedding room, the anger in Xiaomei's heart suddenly ignited.

A strange middle-aged woman was lying on her wedding bed and breastfeeding. The bedside was filled with her child’s diapers and clothes, and the bedside table was filled with maternal and infant supplies. Her wedding photos were Was thrown in a corner. Smelling the smell in the room that she didn't know how to describe, Xiaomei knocked on the door with her hand and asked unceremoniously: "Who are you?" Why sleep in my bed? ?Before the middle-aged woman could answer, the mother-in-law rushed in, ?This is your cousin from the countryside. She just gave birth to a baby in the city hospital. She said that the hospital was too expensive and she couldn't afford to live there. You were on a business trip and gave me the wedding bed. What does it matter if she sleeps? Don't be so rude.

?

Xiaomei looked at the messy room, suddenly picked up the maternal and infant supplies and started throwing them out the door, along with the adult clothes in her closet. At that time, the living room became even more messy, filled with all kinds of clothes. My cousin-in-law was also panicked. She immediately got out of bed with her child in her arms and began to please her: "Sister-in-law, what are you doing?" If you have something to say, please tell me. If you don't want to sleep on this bed, I won't let you sleep on it. If you think we are dirty, just say so. Xiaomei looked at her cousin's angry look and said with a smile: "If you don't hold the child and go out on your own, I will kick you out too."

After hearing this, the cousin-in-law immediately carried the child to the living room and winked at her mother-in-law. The mother-in-law could no longer keep it off her face and cursed: "I don't know what you are being pretentious about. Is it okay to sleep on your wedding bed?" ?As he spoke, he dialed Da Zhou’s phone number and asked him to come back quickly. I think Dazhou must have known that her mother-in-law let outsiders live in the house and she just deliberately hid it from him. If he hadn't come back early, he might have been kept in the dark. Xiaomei, who became more and more angry as she thought about it, came to the room, lifted the bed to the ground, took out the big hammer from the storage room, and started to smash the bed, including the bed board and bedside table. At this time, Da Zhou also happened to arrive home. Seeing Xiao Mei's actions, he probably guessed what happened.

Before Da Zhou had time to defend himself, Xiao Mei called the furniture company. In front of her cousin-in-law, mother-in-law and her husband, she ordered a better set of bedding and asked them to deliver it immediately. come over. Seeing that the matter was more serious than imagined, the mother-in-law began to complain to Dazhou: "Son, your cousin-in-law is not an outsider. Mom just let her stay for a few days. Look at how your wife is doing this." ?Looking at Da Zhou being caught in a dilemma, Xiao Mei said directly: ?For Da Zhou's sake, I call you "Mom", but we are just mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I am just hypocritical. You can be a good person and let your relatives sleep with me. The marriage bed touches my bottom line and I don’t recognize anyone. Besides, this house was given to me by my parents. After all, it is my house. ?

The mother-in-law’s expression changed completely. She didn’t expect her daughter-in-law to say that. Da Zhou also began to plead for mercy: "Xiao Mei, we are all a family and let my cousin live in it. Let's just live there. Don't pursue it any further." Xiaomei sneered: "That's my marriage bed. You clearly know that's my bottom line. You know I don't like this." ? Dazhou had nothing to say. After all, he had his own fault in this matter. He didn't tell Xiaomei but wanted to hide it. Soon the bed was delivered to her home, and Xiaomei asked the moving company to take away the broken bed without hesitation.

Looking at her mother-in-law’s embarrassed look, Xiaomei didn’t relent. She just said: “Mother-in-law, I hope you will respect me in the future. This time I will show my attitude by expelling someone to change my bed. I won’t do it next time.” Blame me for being cruel. ?The mother-in-law nodded repeatedly, and left with her cousin and luggage that night.

You see, if the mother-in-law could respect her daughter-in-law and talk to her cousin-in-law before taking her to her daughter-in-law’s home, then things would not be so embarrassing, even if the daughter-in-law in the city may have her own living habits , does not like her marriage bed to be slept on by others, but she will also agree to allow relatives to sleep in the guest room out of politeness. However, like Xiaomei’s mother-in-law, who directly thinks that her own thoughts are those of her children, when her daughter-in-law says that this has touched her bottom line, she says that her daughter-in-law is being hypocritical, and even wants to hide it from her daughter-in-law and prevent her from knowing what is happening at home. It will definitely not work. .

The most important way for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along is to maintain an appropriate distance. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not blood relatives. What connects them is the same lover, the woman's husband and her mother-in-law's son.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is formed around this man. The mother-in-law does not need and cannot regard her daughter-in-law as her real daughter, and the daughter-in-law does not need and cannot regard her mother-in-law as her biological mother. The two respect each other, discuss everything, do not make decisions for each other or the entire family privately, keep an appropriate distance, neither seem aloof nor overly involved in their respective private territories, and do not let the man get caught in the middle. Only in this way, Only when a family is harmonious and prosperous can the whole family be happy.

On the contrary, if the older generation still has old ideas and thinks that their children should listen to themselves and live the same lifestyle as themselves, without any negotiation on everything, and the younger generation does not have their own private space, then then Like Xiaomei and her mother-in-law above, she saw her marriage bed being occupied by someone else without knowing it. When she questioned her mother-in-law, she was told that she was being hypocritical. In anger, she kicked her relatives out and smashed the marriage bed, which was a waste of money. The bed was replaced with a new one, which made the mother-in-law lose face in front of her cousin. Her husband and son were also in a dilemma between her and her mother-in-law.

So, I hope the elders can still respect the living habits of the younger generation, so that the family can live in harmony.