What should my mother-in-law do if she always disagrees with my education?

I found that many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law began with mother-in-law helping children. I have encountered this problem myself, but we have never had a big conflict. It is normal for two generations to have different views, what's more, the old people can't see the baby being wronged a little. Let's talk about how I handled it myself!

First, adjust the mentality. The child is not your own. Everyone has a say in educating children. If the mother-in-law is right, listen to her. If my mother-in-law is wrong, please respond with a nice voice and resolutely do not change.

My mother-in-law always plays the devil's advocate. First, check whether your education method is correct. If your education method is simple and rude, especially if the old people beat and scold the children in front of them, the old people will definitely not agree. Of course, parents are the first guardians of children. When educating children, if you don't know what to do, it's best not to communicate with the elderly in advance. You can write privately if you have any questions. Don't play devil's advocate in front of your children.

First, the mouth is sweet and hard, gentle and persistent

For example, when I was training my child to sleep independently, my mother-in-law always wanted to hug him every time the baby was sleepy. At this time, I will stick to my opinion, but keep a gentle attitude: turn off the lights, play light music, take out the pacifier, and then patiently accompany the baby to sleep independently. After a while, I saw the results and my mother-in-law began to support me.

If the old people still don't understand, don't change your attitude. After a long time, they know that their intervention will not work, so they will not intervene.

Second, don't discipline children in front of old people.

When a child is wrong or disobedient, the best way is to take the child directly to the bedroom and communicate with the child one-on-one after locking the door.

This is to tell the elders through their own behavior not to interfere with discipline. If the mother-in-law knocks on the door and wants to intervene, she should decisively tell her mother-in-law to leave it alone and handle it herself.

This can avoid confrontation with the mother-in-law and avoid verbal disputes between the children and him.

Third, with the help of authority.

Old people generally believe in authority, doctors, teachers and experts. I bought a smart phone for my mother-in-law, taught her to watch Aauto faster and Tik Tok, and gave crazy praise to a group of parenting bloggers she followed. Now her mobile phone is full of parenting content.

There are parenting programs on TV, and I will watch them with my mother-in-law. The opponents of the elderly are determined by their knowledge. They think we are young, don't know anything and won't listen to us, but they are willing to listen to experts. You can let the elderly see more professional opinions through the internet, and they will accept them more easily. If the baby is in kindergarten, you can also tell your mother-in-law through the kindergarten teacher that this method is the most effective.

Fourth, establish a good relationship with the elderly and reach a common understanding.

The old man has no obligation to help us with the children. We should thank the old people for their efforts and share the pressure for us. A simple "mom, you have worked hard, thank you for your contribution to this family!" " ",can close the distance between you and the old man, make your relationship more harmonious. When children are given to the elderly, they should be grateful, affirmed and appreciated from the heart.

When the relationship between them is harmonious, the old people can listen to you, learn a few tricks slowly, and even accept some new ideas. While learning parenting knowledge by yourself, don't forget to instruct the elderly, share more, and affirm the elderly in communication. After we unify our thinking, we can reduce many contradictions. When we don't accept the old people's practices, we can come up with alternatives and put forward euphemistic suggestions.

Five, completely unable to communicate

If the elderly are particularly strong and have a strong desire for control, they should take care of their children full-time and keep a safe distance, preferably living separately. Then take the children to visit the elderly every once in a while to show their concern and respect for the elderly.