Is there anyone around you who "doesn't treat guests or attend banquets" all the time? What is the psychology?

That’s how I am. I rarely entertain guests and rarely go to dinner parties. I don’t want to participate in banquets that are just for errands.

Even at official banquets, avoid as many as you can.

Because I am not good at words and do not like hypocritical interpersonal communication.

The mask-wearing society is really annoying and tiring. Avoid hypocrisy and try to stay away from hypocrisy.

I like to pour myself and drink as much as I want.

I have several friends like this. One of them, named Cao, is quite typical. He doesn’t invite guests and doesn’t attend any meals. The others will go if the hospitality is difficult. This is the case with my friend surnamed Cao. When I first met him, I thought he was almost the legendary Iron Rooster.

But in addition to loving drinking tea, practicing calligraphy, and collecting, I also like fishing and charity. I often participate in some charity activities, and my WeChat circle of friends is almost blank, even if I drive a car to travel. , I don’t post in Moments either, but I will post some on social networks and share them online.

There is not much content to talk about in the circle of friends, either grass in the flower garden or small fish and shrimps raised. After my daughter got married, she rarely posted a few festive photos.

This friend surnamed Cao used to work in a bank. He resigned from the bank before he was 50 years old. He has never worked again since then. He bought it in the magical city of Daning Greenland more than ten years ago. House, he is very low-key, and it is certain that my friend surnamed Cao is absolutely financially free.

In addition to his usual hobbies of drinking tea and practicing calligraphy, he raises flowers and plants in the small yard. Because his family lives on the first floor, he has a small flower garden. My friend surnamed Cao basically refuses any dinner party, but when I go to his house, he will cook himself and his cooking skills are quite good. Caotou Circle's Shanghai-style local cuisine is excellent!

When chatting with friends named Cao, they don’t talk much. What they say is never nonsense. On the contrary, they are quite knowledgeable on various topics. Even a few sentences get to the core of the problem! He has a deep understanding of food and food culture in various places, which is also related to his many years of driving and traveling.

This friend named Cao seems to be a hermit in the city. He speaks slowly and even quotes scriptures. He is also very humorous. Although he looks like a hermit, he also has a profound view on current affairs and is very knowledgeable. High, not the kind of angry and extreme market understanding.

A friend surnamed Cao said that he never worked again after resigning from the bank. It is said that he made a lot of money from stock trading and was also a shareholder of several restaurants. He also had other investments. In short Very good at investing.

I have known my friend surnamed Cao only a few years ago, but my friend surnamed Cao almost refuses any dinner party and will not treat guests. Maybe as people often say, he is basically no different from us low-level people. There are too many intersections. Ha ha.

But the strange thing is that people who are familiar with him say that except for necessary wedding banquets, he basically does not attend any dinners or treat guests. When you visit his home, he will cook in person. Good wine and good smoke.

Lao Wang sometimes thought to himself that this Lao Cao was also a strange person of his generation. He seemed to be living in his own world, but he was not completely immersed in his own world. At least he would do charity and go running with friends. There are also hobbies such as fishing and collecting.

Perhaps as everyone said, my friend surnamed Cao may be a model of someone who refuses to socialize ineffectively. He has his own way of life, does not ask for help, is not annoying, stays at home, and does not stay home deeply. At least how many times do people travel by car every year?

As for the mentality of a group of friends who don’t treat guests or attend banquets, I think one type is a real petty spirit. To put it simply, they are not generous, and they are not the kind of people who belong to the Three Men. , but my friend surnamed Cao belongs to another type. He has certain capital and ideological level, is not short of money, and can choose the lifestyle he likes well.

In real life, there are very few people who do not treat guests or attend banquets all year round, but there are still a small number of them. As for their psychology, I personally feel that apart from being stingy, they also have some mysophobia issues!

Let me tell you about a friend of mine who is like this. She is in her 50s and never eats out. She doesn’t go to others’ invitations to dinner, and she never invites others.

When visiting relatives during the holidays, she would just sit and leave at other people's homes. The same goes for relatives and friends who come to her home. Some relatives wanted to have dinner at her home, but she would refuse them outright. She would wipe down the areas where people had sat in her home and throw away the used items. She said she had mysophobia and felt that there were too many bacteria on things that others had touched.

She always brings her own meals to work and never goes to the canteen to eat. Later, her son married a daughter-in-law, but she never lived with her son and his wife, let alone ate together. Everyone felt that she was a weirdo and did not fit in with others.

I know a boy in his 30s who never treats guests to dinner or goes to banquets. It's not because of mysophobia, because he is usually frugal, doesn't like crowded situations, and likes to be alone. I go home after get off work every day, I don’t have dinner with my colleagues, I don’t go out for travel, I don’t look for a partner, I hardly buy new clothes throughout the year, and I have a savings of more than 600,000. I still feel that I am very poor, and I can’t bear to spend money.

In fact, this kind of people are generally introverted, don't like crowded places, like to be alone, and are stingy. They feel that if they eat someone else's food, they have to give it back, so they don't treat guests or attend banquets.

There are indeed such people. One of my friends, Zheng, is an office worker. Every day, we go to the family vegetable market at 3:00 and 1:00 a.m., and everyone knows his temper. When something happens, we just give him a call or the work unit asks him to have some tea and talk to us. He also calls us when something happens. According to him, relationships don't come from drinking and partying. If something happens, just tell someone who has the ability to help directly without playing tricks. So after we got together and drank, no one called him anymore, but when something happened, he should be troubled and he should be helped. To be honest, he only realized something after being exposed to this realm for a long time. Nowadays, inviting guests to banquets is nothing more than human connection. When you are in trouble, your small circle can really help you. On the contrary, this small circle does not need to be so polite.

I am the kind of person who does not take the initiative to treat guests or go to banquets all year round. Let me tell you my psychological analysis.

I am a lesbian with an outgoing personality, but I don’t like to attend various dinner parties, especially after having children. I spend a lot of time with my children. I think their growth is more important than these dinner parties.

I am neither a leader nor a boss. I don’t need to attend various dinner parties due to various business needs. I rarely attend party-style dinner parties. Most of them are just meaningless socializing.

In life, after getting help from others, the first thing I think of is to prepare a small gift for the other person, rather than treat him to a meal. I like food, but I don’t like to socialize with food.

I don’t like to attend dinner parties with so-called leaders or bosses. I am a straightforward person. I don’t like beating around the bush, and I can’t read other people’s subtext. When I reach middle age, my life will not change. There are many desires and pursuits. Compared with banquets, I prefer simple meals at home.

Not attending a banquet without inviting guests may seem unsociable to others, but in my opinion it is true nature, less pandering and more comfortable.

My name is @ jade in Nanjing , do you like this kind of character?

I’m like, what’s wrong?

What do you think?

I don’t like that atmosphere, being a cuckold and hypocritical person.

If you like the real thing, you can do food stalls or street stalls, just casually.

No treat, no social interaction! ——I count as one! It’s not that there’s any psychology behind this, it’s just a matter of personality and I don’t like to make noises! Moreover, talents will be more comfortable in situations where there is no exchange of interest!

Treating guests and entertaining guests, this is the way of doing business in business! Most of the people who are addicted to it, I don’t think many people really enjoy it!

Speaking of myself, I feel like I don’t have many friends around me. I have experienced and met a lot of people over the years, but after settling down, the number of hardcore people who have always stayed by my side is single digit!

Except for things like the Spring Festival or special events, such as someone getting married, we only eat and drink when we get together!

That kind of state does not mean deliberately eating and drinking. It feels like a little separation is better than a newlywed. In this state, having a meal together is very meaningful! Humans are social animals, and they must host or participate in some occasions in their lives. Most of them are red and white events, and you have to be the host to attend them, and you have to attend them as the guests!

In our country, newborns usually have three birthdays. From the first three years after birth, every birthday is celebrated in a formal manner!

After my son was born, the first one he passed by was Zhengba. A large number of relatives and friends gathered together!

By the second year, I was no longer willing to make the decision for him, no more!

There are two reasons. First, many people are resistant to the current debt of gratitude. They say blessings but are reluctant to spend money! Secondly, I really don’t want to do these things, such as preparing gift boxes and toasting!

Personally, I’m tired of these things!

But the advantage of participating in these weddings and weddings is that it is not a tedious process and the process goes very quickly: after the food is served, wait for the host to finish the toast, and then leave when you are full! For other types of gatherings, such as class reunions and colleagues’ gatherings, in one sentence, there are all kinds of birds in the forest, especially drunk birds, which fly in a ridiculous state!

From personal experience, for family gatherings like this, psychologically I would like relatives at home to get together during the holidays, but I am afraid that they will drink too much because they drink as much as they want. It got big, and then a quarrel over a trivial matter turned the table over!

This has happened to my dad or my mom’s relatives!

Especially the elders drink too much and tend to chatter non-stop. Once, my second grandfather was drunk and forced me to get married. He locked me in his pig house in the slope. Then he took out a pack of cigarettes. I didn't say a word, but he talked to me for more than two hours!

Other types, such as colleagues’ gatherings, I really can’t stand the kind of pushy and fussy ones!

Class reunions are like this. In fact, it has been a long time since graduation. Except for the few who were very good at the beginning, all other relationships have faded away!

These are so disgusting that I won’t go if I can, and it’s better to spend the same money to have a home-cooked meal with my wife and children!

If you don’t treat guests all the year round, or if you don’t treat guests all your life, you must have no children. If you have children and you don’t treat guests, you must be unmarried. Such people and families are a sad part of the world. .

If you don’t participate when you are invited, if you don’t participate if you have been invited for many years, if you don’t participate if your relatives are invited, you should be a savage. There is always a confidant in life, and you don’t even understand personal feelings. Living in this world is like a savage. No soul.

If such a person really exists, he has been regarded as a weirdo, and has become a typical candidate for discussion.

People in their decades are particularly talkative and enthusiastic at work. People outside seem to be very warm and friendly to others, which makes them a little touched.

Only those who know him well and have been with him for a long time will know that he is a person who talks too much and is nice on the surface. He will not give any true feelings to anyone. He is a veritable iron cock who can only get in and out. .

For decades, no one has seen him praise others. Even if it is an office, he will not go to congratulate or express condolences. However, he will not miss the benefits of others.

No matter how warm he is to you, calling you brother or sister, shouting like sister or sister, he will not go to your family if something happens. After the incident, he will be embarrassed to be quiet for two days, and then start joking with you again, and be extremely affectionate, as if nothing happened.

His family hasn’t done anything yet. But it is estimated that if his family has something to do, no one will go. That's what they say. Because his conduct as a person has spread widely, he is already a celebrity in the work unit, and no one knows about him.

The only thing that interests him and makes him work tirelessly for it is money. He counts every cent and is extremely excited.

Although family is very important and is the driving force for our struggle, it is still ridiculed and looked down upon to behave like this.

Yes, there is more than one. Among them, two friends stand out the most. One is a painter who likes music (actually an amateur), surnamed Jiang, and the other friend, surnamed Li, is from a public institution. A civil servant. Let’s talk about my painter friend named Jiang first.

My husband’s painter friend is not very good at painting. He has been my husband’s friend since childhood. Friends who are familiar with him call him “Master”. He also knows that this title has a teasing meaning. But I am also happy to accept that he is the kind of person around us who "doesn't treat guests or attend banquets" all the time. In the decades we have been dating, except for weddings and weddings that cannot be tolerated between friends, he has never "no guests." , not going to the banquet." Friends who are familiar with him are not surprised. Unless it is a very special situation, they will generally not ask him out. Friends who are not familiar with him think he is too aloof.

In fact, this is not the case. He has been a freelancer for many years. His singing talent is higher than that of painting. His daily work and rest time are completely opposite to ordinary people. If he gets up before 3:00 pm on any day, then Even if he gets up early for the first time, no one can find him in broad daylight, even if he is in urgent need of attention, so he is no longer invited to dinner parties in the circle. He is also happy to enjoy this quiet time and never invites friends. Have a meal. Every night from 11 o'clock to 4 o'clock in the morning is when he is in the best mental state and working condition. I remember one time after 12:00 late at night, he came to our house very excitedly carrying a bottle of wine and insisted on my husband getting up. I drank with him, and they drank until 4 o'clock in the morning that night. I learned on the second day that one of his works won the third prize in a small art exhibition. This person never "doesn't invite guests or attend banquets". "Friends, the daily rhythm of life is exactly opposite to everyone else's, so it is normal to "no invitations, no banquets".

Another "Li" sex friend is my husband's college classmate. He is good at piano, chess, calligraphy, and painting. He also has a great influence among his friends. In addition to drinking and eating, all other activities among his friends are... With his presence, people who are not familiar with him think that he is pretending to be clean while working in the government. In fact, he has never drank alcohol since he was a child. In his fifth year of working, there was a large-scale class reunion, where both inside and outside the province came together* **More than 20 people participated, and everyone talked freely about the wine and toasted each other. However, due to the kindness of old classmates, my friend surnamed Li got so drunk that he couldn't get out of bed for two or three days. He told We later attended several of this type of dinner parties and began to stop drinking. This offended many leaders and friends. Since then, friends who are familiar with him have "not invited guests or attended banquets" for many years. Gradually I got used to it and didn't blame him.

When friends get together, it is inevitable to treat guests to a meal and reciprocate politely. Even if everyone agrees that he does not need to drink at the banquet, he will no longer participate in any banquets. In his words, it is impossible to talk without eating from others. Please come back last time.

I personally think that his life attitude of "not inviting guests or attending banquets" for many years is not incompatible with life, but that he lives out his own self and escapes from the worldly and vulgar dinner parties. , it is worth learning from those friends who want to "attend the banquet" even if they force themselves to do so.