I beg you for a funny New Year’s Day skit in high school! ! !

The Unparalleled Beggar Time: Unknown Place: On a busy street Characters: Hong Qigong (h), Qiao Feng (q), and a sidekick (p) General event: Two beggars on the street A story that happened some time after the chance encounter. (Appears, holding rice bowl in hand) h: The spring breeze of reform is blowing all over the ground, it is not easy to be a beggar, you have to be humiliating and still get angry, and the urban management team comes to attack! Hey, it’s harder to be a beggar than it is for a college student to find a job these days. Isn’t that right? Did the urban management gang just come to attack again? They said that we people have no other effect except affecting the appearance of the city. If this is a small plot, We are all gone. Aren’t all your urban management officials also laid off? Besides, it would be fine if the people at Chengguan really took us away. Once inside, we would be sheltered from the wind and rain, and we could stay for free. We could eat and drink, and a group of people could chat together. It was simply... The fairy life we ??yearn for. Not only did they want to confiscate my food rations, but they also took away my rice bowl, my hard-earned money, and even drove me out of my territory! If he hadn't run away and risked his life, he would have lost his wife and lost his troops! I finally ran out of their search range. Let’s rest here for a while. Hey, I’m just here to guard the tank and wait for money! (Appears, holding a rice bowl) q: Those who come from south to north, those who run east and west, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, kindhearted people, please take pity on me. My family is poor and ugly. We have nothing. We wear clothes without sleeves, and we shiver all day long. The medicine never leaves my mouth, and I have never eaten pork in my life. People are thinner than chopsticks, and their lives are not as good as those of dogs. Have mercy on me! (Kicked h's rice bowl) h: Hey, what's wrong with you? Look, you kicked the paint off my exquisite rice bowl. I'll pay for it! Q: Do you think your broken rice bowl is a BMW or a Mercedes-Benz? If a piece of paint falls off, you will have to pay compensation. Go to the insurance company and ask for compensation! h: Seeing that you are a poor beggar, I won’t make it difficult for you. Just give me your rice bowl plus the money in it! q: Judging from what you said, look at your moral character, it seems like we are traveling together! I've been hanging out on this street for several years, but I've never seen you before? Are you new here? (h turns around and talks to himself) h: Is he the boss of this street? I have to test him (turns around) Delicious radish and cabbage from mountains and seas! q: The leader is a wealthy student beggar! h: Oops, the floods have washed away the Dragon King Temple, and the whole family no longer recognizes each other.

Sorry, here it is, this is my film (takes out the business card) q: No one knows, I have it too (exchange business cards) h: Deputy chief rudder of the 67th branch of the Beggars Gang in the Liquor Street of the Dazzling District - Qiao Feng, oh, I have admired it for a long time! q: Hong Qigong, deputy chief helmsman of the 38th branch of the Beggar Gang on Yuexia Street, Huaqian District, good luck! h: Come on, come on, sit down q: Brother, why did you come to me if you weren’t staying at your place? h: Aren’t you guys from the urban management team? They came here for another surprise inspection, so you came here as a last resort. How was your income this morning? q: Hey, forget it, it’s only at this point in the morning. It’s hard to be a beggar these days! Being a beggar leader—difficult 1 h: Being a beggar leader running around the streets—difficult! h&q: Hey———— (p comes on, holds Mengniu in his hand, throws the package into the rice jar, exits) h: Ha, he used your rice jar as a trash can! (q took the package and added a mouthful) h: Hey, leave a mouthful for me! q: Delicious! I haven’t eaten meat for several days! Cool! h: I let you eat it all in one bite. How does it taste? q: Sour and sweet is me! h: Look at this packaging, how beautiful it is, look at this handsome man and beautiful woman, how handsome this man is! q: Why are you so ignorant? You don’t recognize these two girls? They are the most popular super girls last year—He Jie and Li Yuchun! h: Who cares about super boys and super girls, I kept this package, there is a prize, maybe 5 million or something, and you won’t have to be a beggar in this life. q: Okay, wait until you win the prize, win If you have two cows, just drink milk every day and use milk for bathing! (p comes on the stage, holding a flyer in his hand, and throws a bunch of flyers into the rice bowl, ending) h: This guy is very affordable, he is really lazy, he has saved trouble, are all pyramid schemes so cunning? ! Q: You are so uneducated. That’s called handing out leaflets. What a pyramid scheme! h: Ah, selling flyers, referred to as MLM! q: Let me see what they are selling. h: Do you know how to read? This is all wrong! Q: Why can’t I read? I’ve only passed the sixth grade in elementary school! h: Just you? q: Pinyin Level 6! I’m not bragging to you, I went to elementary school for eight years. h: Oh, are you recommended for graduate school? q: Look, Nike and Adidas have greatly reduced their prices, and shorts are only selling for 280! Selling for only 280, one pair of pants can feed me for three months! h: You see, your concept of consumption is not good. They are famous brands, especially those college students nowadays. No matter how miserable their lives are, they still have to wear famous brands! q: xx shoe store is having a crazy promotion, buy one and get two free! h: Yes, buy a pair of shoes and get two shoelaces for free! q: Go to a famous tutoring agency center to provide you with tutoring in various subjects and ensure that your children are admitted to famous universities! h: Don’t you know the current tutor? They are all college students. They don’t teach anything in class. They just chat with you. The cost is not a penny. The children’s grades have not improved. q: Don’t watch it. It’s all false advertising. h: Hey, you said we should go too How about handing out leaflets, you can earn a lot in a day. Q: You can pull me down, just because of your image, people will not be able to hide when they see you, so how can they dare to accept your leaflets? h: I don’t know how to package myself. People say I look like Chow Yun-fat, but actually I look like Andy Lau.

Besides, if it doesn’t work, let’s send the flyers to our brothers. Q: Don’t dream there. It’s during the day and maybe you won’t earn as much as you do now. Just like those false advertisements on the flyers, maybe that day It will go bankrupt, and he may become our little brother by then (p comes on, throws a coin in the rice bowl, ends) h: thank you very much! q: Oh, how come you can talk like a bird? h: Didn’t you see that person just now? He has yellow hair. He must be a foreigner. Maybe he threw in euros! I can't embarrass our Chinese beggars, so I have to express my gratitude! q: That’s not necessarily the case. Nowadays, it’s normal for young people to follow the fashion and dye their hair. At that time, I was squatting in front of xx University and saw a woman. Today she has red hair, tomorrow she has yellow hair, and the day after tomorrow she has purple hair. From Monday to Sunday, he dyed red, orange, yellow, green, clear blue and purple all over, and his hair ended up looking like a mop. h: No matter what, let me see what the european sheet looks like (h took out coins from the rice bowl , take a look and throw it away) q: What’s wrong? Why did you throw away the euro? How about letting others pick it up and fix it? h: That guy is not kind. He used a dime coin to fool me. Is that for the beggar? ! Can you still get a dime now? No matter what, you have to give 5 cents (p comes on the stage, takes a five-dollar note, throws it into the rice bowl, and takes out four coins) p: Hey, brother, I'm sorry, I don't have any change when I take the bus, please change it! (End) h: Can he deceive us with counterfeit money? (Pick up the money and shine it into the lamp) q: Then let’s curse him. If he cheats us with counterfeit money, let him get into a car accident h: Yes, he will be unable to take care of himself (p comes on stage holding a newspaper in his hand) p: Legal Newspaper, Story Newspaper, and the newly published Sports Newspaper, let’s take a look at why a 23-year-old young man took the college entrance examination six times in a row, why newly admitted college students jumped off the building, fake rat poison appeared in the food in the university cafeteria, and why graduate students at prestigious universities are cruel Abuse twenty-eight kittens, take a look and know them all! Read the newspaper. Why is smoking in the university study room repeatedly banned? The cause of a murder was just a ruler. If you want to learn more about the Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces, come and buy my newspaper. q: Give me one (take the newspaper) h : Do you still read newspapers? q: That's right. You have to see the current social situation clearly and care about national affairs (take out a pair of glasses) h: The equipment is quite complete. q: That's right. I bought these glasses on clearance that day at the blind cat glasses store. Five Yuan, the boss said at that time, it was only five yuan, and he would not sell any more or less. I took out ten yuan at that time, and the boss said, "Give me change, I don't have any change to ask you, I said it is only ten yuan, I want it" If you don't take it all, the boss became anxious at that time and said, why do I ask you five more yuan? This matter is going to be spread out, and it will be said that I charged a beggar five yuan more. How will I behave in the future? h: What happened next? q: Later I gave him fifty dime coins h: You two are very good, come on, give me one to look at, I want the one from the culture and sports section (h took out a magnifying glass) q: Don’t face the sun. Look, it’s burning! Looking at the headlines, all parts of the country are studying the Eight Honors and Eight Disgraces in depth and establishing a socialist concept of honor and disgrace. Hey, it’s time for us to learn from it. It’s become one of the Eight Shames for us to idle around all day long and rely on others’ charity for food! h: I think Chinese football should learn from it. You see, Zhao Benshan is frustrated and says he doesn’t want to wade into this troubled waters again. You see, each of them makes more money than us, but their feet are much smellier than ours. q: Isn’t that right? Hey, why is it raining now? h: Great, I haven’t showered in months! (q’s cell phone rings) q: Hello? Hello! Hello! Hello? Ah, what, speak louder, oh, the city management officials are here? ah? Hello? Hello? Hello! ——PHS, the signal is not good, the brother below said, the city management people are coming, let’s hide for a while h: OK, pack up and leave quickly (h mobile phone rings) Hello? I knew earlier that the city management was coming, right? What do you think? The news is so slow, you won’t have anything to eat tonight! Let's go quickly - Answered by: A Blind Cat - Scholar Level 2 8-11 22:23 Let me comment >> Related content? Looking for a drama script? Looking for a super hilarious script! ! ! ? Hilarious sketch script, plus 100 for good ones. ? I beg for a drama script. ? Urgently looking for a campus sketch script!!! See the question on the same topic: Hilarious script. Other answers *** 2 cross talk - "Missile" a: My surname is director. b: What is your name? a: Single name for a marble.

b: "Trick or treat"! Then I have to stay away from you! a: Hey, it’s not mischief, it’s missiles, the “guidance” of leaders, and the “bombs” of bombs. b: Then I have to stay away from you. a: Don’t be afraid, I won’t explode now. b: But I can’t bear it no matter what time you blow me up. a: I am not an ordinary missile, my name is a cruise missile. b: I have never heard of cruise missiles. I know a few of your colleagues, including anti-aircraft missiles, anti-submarine missiles, etc. a: You know, I am the oldest member of the missile family. b: Listen, this is a joke. Talk about it. a: I was born in 1942 and became a new type of weapon that shocked the world. I flew across the English Channel and landed in the UK. People were frightened. b: Then why haven’t I heard of you? a: After I was born, it was modified for more than 20 years. It was equipped with a small high-power engine and a nuclear warhead. I also learned a few tricks. b: Tell me. a: I learned how to fly at a very low altitude, flying close to the ground and the sea. b: How many meters? a: They are 5 meters and 10 meters respectively. They are just hanging over your head and blowing up your smelly feet. b: That’s good! What else have you learned? a: Look at the map! b: If you can read a map, your cultural level must be high. University? a: No. b: High school? a: Less than. b: There are always junior high schools, right? a: Honestly, no. b: To what extent? a: Don’t make fun of me when I say this. We are in a small kindergarten class. b: Huh? So how do you read a map? a: What I’m looking at is a digital map. It’s full of numbers. Are they based on the height of the object? b: There are many objects with the same height! How do you tell the difference? a: I still have a photo of it on my computer, so I can compare it! b: I see, then why did you come to me? a: Come blow up your house! b: What, ah!