Diaosi’s funny sayings

You have searched thousands of times for him. If you are not sick, just take two steps. The following is the funny talk of diaosi that I compiled. I hope you all like it~

Funny talk of diaosi:

I want to become a pig and have an owner who loves me and raises me? Then in Eat me when you are happy.

I have already thought about raising a son as a robber and a daughter as a princess.

There are two types of mathematical proof questions: one is "fuck you, I still need to prove it", the other is "fuck you, this can be proved"

I fell in love with me bed, but the alarm clock is jealous and always wants to separate me from the bed

When a man is dumped, it’s a money issue; when a woman is dumped, it’s a face issue; when I’m dumped, there’s something wrong with your fucking brain!!

After taking the exam for so many years, why not have an anniversary celebration, such as getting 20 if you take 40, passing two subjects to get one, and choosing two subjects to be exempted from the exam.

Isn’t it just that I have lost a little weight? I had to bite off a few pieces of my meat to make it so obviously fat. Dead mosquito!

Ziwei: Erkang, are you happy? Erkang: Have you forgotten, my last name has always been Fu.

The difference between talent and genius is only one or two. Therefore, talents are very good, but geniuses are always a bit lacking.

When I have money, I will take the people I hate the most to the best mental hospitals in the world.

In fact, it is all just your wishful thinking, so why should you pretend to be real?

You should go out in the sun more and get darker, so that others don’t call you an idiot.

We all sleep in class! We jump around after class! We fail in exams

Just forget about scolding you at ordinary times. Only when I beat you will you know that I am both civil and military!

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Why do you have to start with brain cells to lose weight, reduce waist and butt?

In this ruthless age, if you want others to miss you, the best way is to not pay back the money you owe.

A girl’s voice: I will always have one less piece of clothing and one less pair of shoes...but I will always have one more pound of flesh!

When I am in a bad mood, I go to school Kicking bicycles at the door, one by one, oh yeah!

No matter how awesome the If You Are the One female guest is, she can only extinguish one man's lamp, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can extinguish the whole floor!

My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over.

If I go down one day, remember, I will come back to find you.

God please let me grow five centimeters taller, and I am willing to lose ten pounds in exchange.

The happiest thing every morning is squeezing onto the subway. The most tragic thing is sitting in the wrong direction but not being able to get off

My crush changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly I think I've changed my mind.

I often warn myself not to hang myself from a tree, but end up getting lost in the woods.

Winter is the most hooligan, always likes to freeze my hands and feet

If you treat me as a game, I will cheat and torture you to death.

The first line: Hahahahaha, the second line: Hey hey hey hey. Hengpi: Crazy

Oh my God, I will never call you "Master" again. You don't love me as your granddaughter at all.

It’s not that you haven’t done your homework, but that when you have to do your homework, you find that you don’t know what the homework is.

Whenever I see the money in my wallet getting less and less, I I knew my life had fallen like this

Big Big Wolf is like an aunt, always saying before leaving: "I will come back!"

The most tragic thing in the world The best thing is that after opening the wallet, Chairman Mao is gone, but the people of all ethnic groups are still there.

I thought I had grown taller overnight, but it turned out that the quilt was stuck horizontally.

I met a dog on the roadside. I knelt down and asked it: Will my love fortune be very good in the second half of the year? It thought about it and said, Very good!?

The exam is a floating cloud, and after the exam it becomes a dark cloud

I wrote your name in the sky and the wind took it away, so I wrote your name in every corner of the street? Damn it, I was taken away by the police Let's go

When I have money, I will build two toilets. If I want to go to the men's room, I can go to the men's room. If I want to use the women's room, I can go to the women's room.

A toad jumps off a cliff and pretends to be stunned. I am Batman

It’s noon on the day of hoeing, and I don’t rely on ordinary people for anything. If you have nothing to do in your free time, why not play Landlords?

When I was a child, I was very confused about whether it would be better to study at Tsinghua University or Peking University when I grow up. Now I know how to worry too much.

When I was a child, I always thought there were only two countries in the world. One China. A foreign country.

If you buy a bucket of instant noodles, it contains six seasoning packets, two forks, and another bucket?

If I can choose my own afterlife, I would like to make a quilt and press All people in the world.

Wukong, bring me the purple gold alms bowl and chopsticks. Wujing, go to the kitchen and see if Bajie is cooked?

You love me, or you don’t love me. I'm right there, clinging to you.

Whether she is a beauty or not, you will know after taking off her clothes. Whether he is a handsome guy or not, you will know if he has a crew cut.

If your girlfriend is a foodie, then marry her. As the saying goes: Foodies are easy to feed.

Next time a boy laughs at you for having thick legs. Just reply to him: Your legs are thin, and all three of your legs are thin.

If someone asks you why you gained weight, just say you forgot and don’t explain. The more you explain, the sadder you will become!

Selected funny quotes from diaosi:

1. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater up close, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks

2. Girls who like to wear flat shoes are also very stylish

3. Don’t underestimate anyone, but don’t underestimate yourself either

4. Don’t tell me that I’m not good to you, I’ll still be with you if I’m not good to you

5. Don’t look back after you leave. From now on, we will never interact with each other

6. An old woman is like a withered rose, which once was beautiful

7. You were too immersed in your acting, and you were still obsessed when you were discovered in the end

8. If you have the ability to do things like work, do it yourself, don’t let me do it

9. I can choose not to own things that are not within my affordability

10. Please leave, don’t let me use foul language? Get out?

11. What you want I don’t have gentleness, all I have is this fist

12. Labor and management are not ladies, and dirty words that labor and management cannot say are a thousand times cleaner than lies

13. Women should be more domineering: I Who should a man be afraid of?

14. Don’t be too arrogant in front of me if you are the first to shoot.

15. How can you wear a wedding dress casually without experiencing a few scumbags?

16. I can love you as long as your love for me lasts

17. If you are well, it will be a bolt from the blue

18. Nine years Compulsory education ruined my youth, how should I get it back

19. Don’t be too pretentious, there is no one in this world who won’t feel heartbroken

20. Only rich people can be called Home, do you call it home? You call it dwelling;

Only rich people can call it melancholy. Do you call it melancholy? What you call depression;

Only rich people can call it melancholy. Energy saving, do you call it energy saving? You call it stingy;

Only rich people can call it plump. Do you call it plump? You call it rough;

Only rich people can call it energy saving. It’s called travel, but do you call it travel? You call it wandering;

Only rich people can be called single, but do you call it single? You call it bachelor.