Selected humorous copy

1. I love losing my hair. I think I was a dandelion in my last life. Everyone else is in a sweet relationship. I only have one bald head.

My good looks are mainly due to my parents. If they hadn't given me this mouth, I wouldn't be talking nonsense here.

Some people say that life is daily necessities, others say that life is a mess, but I am special. I'm struggling to survive, and I haven't lived yet.

I am single because fairies can't fall in love with mortals, which will break the dogma.

5. My mother looked at a relative's beautiful daughter and said to me: People look like they have done it, but you look like you have been sitting on it!

6. Don't bask in chocolate flowers and gifts during the Chinese New Year. Send your boyfriend out to bask in the sun and see if it is possible that it is the same model, and there may be explosions.

7. "Is there a difference between your girls' plain face and makeup?" Of course, otherwise I hope that half an hour? "

8. I met a friend on the bus, a woman, wearing a mask. I said hello, and she casually said, "Do you know me when I wear a bra?" The car suddenly became quiet.

9. Since I can shop with my mobile phone, I have achieved two major successes: successful login and successful payment. I also have my own car, shopping cart. I also understand my own shortcomings and lack of balance.

10. You have to believe that as long as you work hard and actively, the company will definitely see it. They will assign you more jobs, never bury talents and never give you a raise.

1 1. Do you like small animals? "Me: Of course." How much do you like it? "Me: I don't know, every meal!

12. When looking in the mirror, I generally dare not look more, for fear that I will fall in love with myself.

13. You should eat enough and go to bed early. Don't stay up because you are ugly.

14. I heard that acupuncture and cupping are very effective for losing weight. I tried, too. Show my husband the purple patches on my waist when I come back. Idiot shouted: yeah! Why are you like a stamped pork? ...

15. I understand all the reasons, but I can't help turning around when I hear others calling for beauty.

16. The best thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

17. No matter where I go, I always put a photo of my wife in my wallet, for no other reason than to remind myself how the money is missing!

18. My wife asked me: If a female colleague seduces you, will you listen? I smiled and shook my head, ha ha, who do you take me for? Am I the kind of person who will tell you what you really think?

19. After three years of marriage, my wife asked her husband, "I don't seem to have that kind of heart-warming feeling when I look at you now. Do you still have me? " The husband said, "I always jump." And it is not a simple heartbeat, it is a pleasure. "

20. The last time I fell in love was in the second grade of primary school. When I was in the third grade, our school couldn't go on and broke up.

2 1. Skin care is actually a kind of metaphysics. If you don't order products that are beyond your economic ability, there will be no effect.

22. In class, the teacher is talking about Chapter 7. Xiao Ming casually opened the book and bowed his head to play with his mobile phone. The teacher found out. The teacher asked him, "How can you turn the book to Chapter 8 when you talk about Chapter 7?" Xiao Ming replied faintly: "I'll wait for you in front!" " "

23. One day, my wife and I quarreled. She is in a hurry. She picked up a bottle of dichlorvos and said, "You are so cruel, I will let you know what it is like to lose me." Soon ... "Husband, I can't unscrew it ..."

24. Q: What are the advantages of your boyfriend? A: To sum up, it is five words "I will pick a girlfriend".