Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - I declare: life is endless, and you can't stop losing weight.

I declare: life is endless, and you can't stop losing weight.

Originally, the title I wanted to write was: I am serious about losing weight this time! But looking back on my previous experience of losing weight, which one was not serious? So, let's have a hardcore title: Life is endless, and you can't stop losing weight!

Haruki Murakami, a Japanese writer and long-distance runner for more than 30 years, once commented on his chubby physique: "Life is really unfair! Some people can't get what they work hard, and some people can get it easily. " In my lifetime, if I am lucky enough to see him or dream about him, I will hold his hand affectionately and say to him, "The mountains and rivers are foreign, and you and I are both fat!" " "Although my talent is less than one-tenth of Murakami's, my physique is the same as his-drinking cold water will gain meat! My first memory of weight was in the first grade of junior high school. It seems that all the female students around me are in double digits, and only I took the lead in entering the era of three digits. At that time, there seemed to be no concept of being fat, thin, beautiful and ugly. The famous saying is: "People are cute not because they are beautiful, but because they are cute. "Immersed in my lovely fantasy. For the sake of beauty, I can't miss a sparerib, a Huimian Noodles and a delicious fried noodles! Please look at this dish, braised pork ribs, seasonal vegetables, colorful, it makes my mouth water! Look at other dishes, wow, that's glutinous rice balls! Its skin is thin and even translucent. Open your mouth and take a bite. The delicious juice in it flows into your mouth and bites the meat ball soaked in juice. Not fat or greasy, the entrance is smooth. I can't bear to put it down after eating it! There are many delicious snacks, all of which are my harem beauties. How can you be eccentric? Everything is wet! As a result, eating fat sent away junior high school and high school! For many years, my inner inferiority is not without it. I never believed that I could have anything better!

Lose weight season 1: I can!

I realized for the first time in my life that it was the summer vacation in 2003. It comes from a book, the title of which I can't remember. The first sentence is probably: If a person can't control his own weight, how can he control his own life? So that summer vacation, I began to lose weight crazily. Wrapped in plastic wrap, I only eat corn every day, do aerobics and yoga, shake the hula hoop for two hours at a time, and when I see a pool of sweat under my feet, I think it's a medal awarded to me! When I lost 10 kg, I went to Shuanghui and asked people to weigh me 10 kg. I just want to see how much meat there is, but it's a pity that the big sister who sells meat didn't satisfy my good wishes. One summer vacation, I lost weight from 140 kg to 1 18 kg. 22 Jin! At the beginning of school, a colleague walked in front of me and didn't recognize me! God, that was the best part of my life!

Unfortunately, I only experienced the joy of victory for a few months. I began to eat all the delicious food in the world as soon as I was pregnant, and I was very relieved! When the baby was born, it was about 160 kg! It hasn't rained for a long time since she was born 140. Through the grapevine, the headmaster of the school thinks I am fat and refuses to accept me!

? Lose weight season 2: for you, I can!

Summer vacation in 2007. The doll is two and a half years old. One day, I chatted with my mothers in the family hospital downstairs. Several little girls of similar age are playing together. Other children are hugging their mother's long legs, and the doll wants to hug, but my big thick legs are not enough for her! God, how can I let my daughter have no thighs to hug? ! So in the summer vacation of 2007, I started the crazy weight loss mode for the second time: shut up, spread my legs, and even tried acupuncture! Anyway, I finally lost weight!

20 17, God gave me a little moon. Drawing lessons from my last pregnancy, I didn't eat or drink indiscriminately, but kept working and exercising, so I didn't gain much weight. The moon is two years old, and I'm still around 130 kg.

Lose weight in the third season: for you, I can! But I did it for myself!

With my father's genes, I thought that dolls would never get fat. I didn't expect my mother to fatten my daughter and me. And once you get attached to food, it's hard to say goodbye. In order to prove to her that mom can slim down by perseverance, so can she! And, of course, the little moon. Xiaoyue will go to kindergarten soon. I don't want to be too bloated and go to Xiaoyue's parents' meeting like my grandmother. Women are fat, and mothers must be thin!

Of course, I have a small wish At that time, Mr. Y and I were 100% "naked married", with no house, no car and no wedding. I hope I can wear a wedding dress when I lose weight. My plan is to take 10 days from February 9 to May 20, and take 20 days as a stage, and lose 4 kg at each stage, so as to finally realize my dream of 1 10. Tomorrow, February 28th, the acceptance date of the first stage has been completed ahead of schedule, and today it has lost 4.2 kg.

Compared with the previous two times, I think it is more difficult. With the increase of age, the level of metabolism decreases, and every kilogram lost will cost a lot. In the process of exercise and diet adjustment, I suddenly found that losing weight is a lifelong mission, not for others, not for children, not for wedding dresses, but for myself! Losing weight is a process of reshaping lifestyle. It is also the same Haruki Murakami who said: "This obesity-prone constitution may be a kind of luck. For example, in order not to get fat, people like me should exercise vigorously every day, pay attention to diet and be temperate. What a bitter life! However, if we never slack off and persist in our efforts, our metabolism can be maintained at a high level, our bodies will become healthier and stronger, and aging is likely to be slowed down. People who do nothing and don't get fat don't need to pay attention to exercise and diet. There are certainly not many people who do this kind of thing. Therefore, people with this constitution tend to be physically exhausted with age. Without exercise, natural muscles will relax and bones will weaken. What is fairness can only be understood from a long-term perspective. "

? Therefore, time is not old, life is endless, and weight loss is not limited! Life without restraint and self-discipline is not worth living!