Adolescence meets menopause (when adolescence meets menopause)

Why are you playing games secretly again?

Always forgetting things, you can't keep a long memory ... do you have a child who is in adolescence? Do you often get angry because of his various behaviors?

Have these words become your mantra?

Then you should be careful. When accusations, criticisms and complaints become high-frequency words in communication, the communication between you has already encountered a bottleneck.

There is a joke that the biggest lie in the parenting world is "just wait until the child is older."

I believe all parents agree with this sentence.

It is no exaggeration to say that since the birth of a child, parents have started the mode of "having you in the future and having you for the rest of your life".

As children grow up, parents will always send out the feeling that "children grow up and are no longer children" at some point.

However, while rejoicing in their children's growth, parents also have to face the conflict of ideas that match their children's growth.

In the process of helping children become independent individuals, the conflict between parents and teenagers is very realistic.

This conflict is mainly reflected in: in the eyes of children, most parents will "seniority" and face life as experienced people.

But children of this age are stubborn, and "I am the master of my youth" is the principle they swear to abide by.

With the increasing popularity of late marriage and late childbearing, the combination of adolescent children and menopausal mothers is becoming more and more common. When two generations in a period of psychological turmoil collide, there will often be a situation in which "Mars hits the earth".

So, how should a family of three solve this contradiction?

Adolescence is called the second "storm period" of life by psychologists, and it is a transitional period from naivety to maturity.

At this stage, children's mood fluctuates greatly, and their physical and mental development is in an unbalanced state, which is easy to cause various psychological contradictions and inner conflicts.

However, menopausal women are prone to lose their temper and fidget due to estrogen deficiency, endocrine and autonomic nervous system dysfunction, menopausal syndrome, anxiety, depression, fear, trouble and other emotions.

At the same time, due to factors such as reduced work pressure, menopausal mothers pay more attention to their children, which is more likely to cause their children's rebellious psychology.

Adolescent children will have a lot of troubles

Adolescent children will be exposed to more new problems, new environments, new interpersonal relationships, new ways of making friends and so on. These brand-new experiences will bring many setbacks to children and experience more troubles.

There are also adolescent children who begin to develop their sexual consciousness, pay great attention to their external image, and are too picky about their clothes. In a word, adolescence is a restless period, and children have a lot of troubles. What parents should do is to wait for their children to get through this eventful autumn.

When children enter adolescence, their mothers are mostly middle-aged women around 40 years old and begin to enter menopause in the medical sense.

The disharmony between mother and daughter in this period has become a problem for many families.

However, most people don't realize that this is actually a conflict between menopause and adolescence.

Adolescence: 10 ~ 24 years old, menopause: 4 1 ~ 60 years old.

There are many similarities between adolescence and menopause.

One is in the physiological growth period, and the other is in the recession period, both of which belong to the unstable stage of human life.

In addition to a lot of physical discomfort, menopausal women also have a series of psychological changes.

The psychological characteristics of female menopause are as follows:

(1) Emotional instability, excitability, irritability, nervousness and anxiety.

(2) palpitation, chest tightness, anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia and memory loss.

(3) anxiety. It is characterized by anxiety, tension, uncertainty, panic without object and reason all day or intermittently, as well as various autonomic nervous system dysfunction and physical discomfort.

(4) paranoia. Sensitive and suspicious, distrustful of people, thoughtful, much ado about nothing, full of doubts.

Sometimes I am hypochondriac, afraid of cancer and insecure about my health.

(5) Depression. Physical and mental functions are getting lower and lower, and they lack interest and fun in anything. Life is lifeless, depressed, negative in words and deeds, lazy and dull in thinking.

Menopausal women should understand this change, face this period correctly, maintain good living habits and get enough sleep.

For you in adolescence.

Is your mother 40 years old this year? If so, then she has entered menopause.

Know something about menopause, and you will be more considerate of her.

Do you know mom's birthday? Do you know what she likes best?

Did you give her a chance to understand your thoughts? Do you know what she was like when she was young?

Have you cooked for her, washed clothes and poured foot washing water at least once when you live to this age?

Don't say she won't let me, of course she won't!

For you in menopause.

Adolescence is never a rebellious night, and resistance is as strong as repression.

Give your child a shoulder to lean on and a pair of ears to talk to, and the problem will be solved by half!

Adjust your mood first, then solve the problem. When children are emotional, it is useless to reason. Rough accusations will add fuel to the fire, which will not only help, but also lead to bad parent-child relationship.

When our parents can accept their children's emotions and find ways to alleviate them, children will feel that they are understood and accepted by their parents, and the parent-child relationship will be further harmonious.

With a good relationship, it will be much easier for us to solve problems or correct children's behavior.

Emotional regulation "90-second method"

When a child conflicts with you, you need to wait for 90 seconds-that's enough time to calm the sharp emotions.

Then the child said, I think it's a little hot in here. Can you tell me how you feel?

All love in the world is for the purpose of aggregation, and only parents' love for their children ends in separation.

Parents will inevitably have the illusion that "I have never been disappointed in other people's children."

But in fact, wise parents know how to set an example.

The collision between "adolescence" and "menopause" is not terrible. What is terrible is that parents and children hate each other because they choke to eat after repeated communication is ineffective. "

All the love in this world points to reunion, but the love of parents points to parting.

Parents are people who face your back and want to hug but dare not tell.

National second-level psychological counselor, Tarot soothsayer, planetary energy healer, freelance writer and trainer.

The old soul who experiences love, the explorer of life path.

Write infinite possibilities with limited words!

Advocate a spiritual life with love as its essence and experience the true meaning of life together!

I met you, then I met myself! -Practical Psychology

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