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Double Happiness (Wang Ruoxu, Germination June)
Hongshuang
There are three main forces to stop minors from smoking in this world: parents, deans and lung cancer.
However, for students, parental supervision is limited to at home; Lung cancer is too far away, much like the day when world peace really comes, so it is temporarily ignored. As for the dean, I think they are all fools. And those students caught by the dean are even more stupid and don't deserve cigarettes at all.
The giant smokes, the giant is underage, but the giant has not been caught yet.
Every day when the giant passes by those vocational schools by bus, he sees a group of vocational school students about his own age chatting less than 15 meters away from the school gate, and he will think of a small group of addicts who lit lighters in the toilet in his school.
You see, they are also minors, and they can be described as "groups", while they are described as "pinching"-this is not a matter of quantity, it is a high level of ideological expression. The giant knows that those people can smoke at the school gate, because there will be no old man Malik Hirakawa monitoring the activities of tobacco particles in the air at the school gate.
Ma Pingchuan is the dean of their school.
Huge has studied in three primary schools, two junior high schools and one senior high school, and met eight teaching directors. Ma Pingchuan is undoubtedly the second best (by the way, the first one was a scout, who died of lung cancer in the first year), not because of his fists, wisdom, observation or physical majesty, but because of his nose.
They say that Ma Pingchuan was a dog in his last life, not an ordinary dog, but a police dog. If you have just finished smoking a cigarette with a nicotine content of more than seven, even if you put a green arrow or Hershey in your mouth the second you throw away the cigarette, the alarm in Ma Pingchuan's stomach will sound as long as it passes within a radius of 1.5 meters. The only thing the giant doesn't understand is why some idiots in his school always smoke a cigarette before entering the school gate, so Ma Pingchuan never loses the opportunity to show his talent of nose superman.
The golden rule of underage smoking: don't smoke in the morning.
The reason: Nicotine will stick to your clothes from 7 am to 3 pm. ..
Of course, Ma Pingchuan won't catch every student who smokes, because those students won't pass by him without doing anything. If you have 1600 students here, including 800 boys, you can trust those 300 (class cadres, nerds and so on) and won't be exposed to nicotine, then, God bless, you will always have 500 suspects.
The monster is among these 500 people, safe and sound.
Giants draw double happiness, or double happiness for short.
Like people, cigarettes are divided into three or six categories-red doubles represent the living standards of ordinary people all over the world, from China, the panda of the rich, to the front door of Zhongnanhai for migrant workers. Most minors also smoke double happiness, but not because of the consumption level, just because it is the most accessible cigarette in Shanghai.
There was once a foolish man who brought a black devil to school in order to set the stage. He smoked less than four cigarettes, and the strong and personalized smell drew Ma Pingchuan down from upstairs.
Rule 2: Don't smoke too many cigarettes.
The reason is: I mentioned this case before.
If you want to smoke secretly, you must understand the characteristics of cigarettes, whether rational or emotional.
The earliest perceptual knowledge of cigarettes was in the second grade of junior high school. That year, a boy in their class was dismembered by gangsters in the bicycle garage near the school. Because he didn't have much oil and water on him, the people who risked their lives to come out to work were very dissatisfied, so they burned a small scar on his face with cigarette butts.
This unfortunate man was the later Dian Wei Cheng.
Three years later, Dian Wei Cheng, who was in different classes in the same school as the giant, suffered from excessive androgen secretion, and stubble appeared on his cheek prematurely, and it was a large piece. With so many beards, Dian Wei never shaves. The official reason is that the more you scrape, the more you scratch. But the great understanding is that he wants to crush the scar on his left cheek and the shame of the past.
There is a ray of hope in every dark cloud, so Dian Wei Cheng can get any tobacco products that he can see and afford as long as he doesn't wear school uniforms and doesn't enter the business offices of any large tobacco and alcohol group. According to this advantage, Dian Wei can become a hero in the eyes of many school addicts, because as long as you trust him, you can buy all kinds of cigarettes, and don't worry about being fake.
However, this school knows that no more than two people smoke in Dian Wei. Giants, one of them, are directly responsible for this. At the beginning, he only said one thing to Dian Wei Cheng: If you want them to be caught and bitten by an old horse, and then be the first to be suspected every time something goes wrong, then join their circle.
Dian Wei may be a wise old man, but he won't be stupid if he stays with monsters for a long time. He knew that if the mole saw the sun, it wouldn't eat earthworms. So, while other smokers were hiding in the toilet and nervously touching the lighters, the two men smoked leisurely on the roof of the cultural and sports building.
Of course, there are not only three of them on the rooftop, but also other students, but they are lovers. The rooftop is not very big, but the young couple are still snuggling in the corner trying to do something semi-reluctantly and semi-intimate. Since everything we do is forbidden within the boundaries of the school, the tacit understanding is that you smoke yours, we kiss ours, and everyone gets along well, and no one will be bored to mind other people's affairs.
Every time two people smoke on it, the giant will bring four or five oranges, not only to enrich the content, but more importantly, the strong smell of oily liquid sprayed by orange peel can mask the smell of tobacco, and the smell of orange itself can also remove some smoke from the mouth. However, to be on the safe side, everyone will eventually take a sip of white vinegar from the mineral water bottle to gargle. As for the smell of clothes, the wind on the roof is always strong, and a considerable part of nicotine has drifted away.
The only drawback of this method is that others will always think that you are from Shanxi. Memphis, the giant's deskmate, said more than once that you and your classmates can't stop eating steamed and fried food at noon?
The giant knows Memphis is afraid of acid, and even ketchup can't stand it. But what the giant knows better is that Memphis has a very great uncle named Ma and Ma Pingchuan, who is the dean of their school.
The giant thinks that although Memphis is not Ma Pingchuan's own daughter (as can be seen from the name, Memphis is a foreign surname), it is not certain that Memphis does not inherit a little Ma Pingchuan's nose gene. It is even more uncertain whether Memphis will betray her deskmate and report to her teacher or uncle.
The most cunning smoker in the school is sitting next to the niece of the dean, just like a mole hiding in the soil under the fox's claws. Absolutely ironic.
In other words, this is fate.
Because of this, the giant never took the cigarette case with him, and he didn't trust Dian Wei Cheng, who always worked slowly, to keep it. At this time, Xiangpu gave him an idea: hide the cigarette case behind the red fire box in the corridor leading to the rooftop. That place is hidden, and cleaners usually don't clean it. They can reach behind their backs with their hands, and even if they are found, they will not be found on them.
Xiang Pu is the second person in this school who knows that Huge and Dian Wei Cheng smoke. He was the next-door neighbor before chubby. He is a senior three this year and is busy taking the Fudan exam. Xiangpu doesn't smoke, but she is happy to give advice to her little brother. She has a good personality. He is a big man who can be trusted. Oranges and vinegar are also his creations, because he is in a chemistry class and his mother is a chemistry teacher.
Of course, it can't be done without great caution and calmness.
The behemoth and Canon Weicheng exposed themselves to the behemoth.
Halfway through the red pair, Dian Wei became clumsy. The orange thrown at him was too high and fell to the other side of the rooftop. He got up and went to the other side to get it. At first, he didn't care about a couple in the corner. Anyway, he usually watches more, but when he bent down to pick up oranges, he heard a "ah" and looked up. The smoke in my mouth immediately fell down and was blown far away by the wind on the rooftop.
Memphis hugged a boy and was teased like a rabbit by the giant afterwards, except for two long ears. But at that time, the huge expression was not very beautiful, and the two small eyes like moles were also huge, except for the big buck teeth (he didn't grow).
Two people who have been sitting at the same table for more than a year are particularly uncomfortable when they study in the afternoon. Memphis's pen cap steel tape notebook will drop every five minutes. The giant covered his face with his left hand all the time, because Memphis was sitting on his left, but he didn't complain about the vinegar in his mouth today. They didn't talk all afternoon. Including dialogue exercises in English class, both of them look at their own sides. Fortunately, the teacher didn't let them demonstrate. After four classes in the afternoon, I will stay as a duty student, and I will be relieved to look at the empty chairs at the same table.
Unexpectedly, he was just about to go downstairs, carrying a plastic bag of garbage on his back, and was working hard. Memphis came out of nowhere and said bluntly, giant, I want to talk to you. Giants are not soft-footed shrimp characters. If you want to go, who will you be afraid of?
Memphis stood in the bicycle parking lot for a while and said, I'll pretend you didn't see what happened at noon today.
The giant thought it was best, nodded and said, I didn't go anywhere at noon and saw nothing.
Memphis nodded and continued, but you are not allowed to go to the rooftop in the future.
Great cough, ask, why? You can go. Why can't I go?
Memphis bit her lip and said, I just don't feel comfortable with you.
Huge gasped and said, I am comfortable with you? I can't help it The teacher will not inspect this place in the whole school. Please forgive me. I'm on the east side of the roof and you're on the west side. Don't whistle when I leave, so you won't bump into me.
Morphy thought there was no other way but to nod.
In fact, I really want to ask her how she hooked up with that boy, because in the concept of monsters, Memphis should be the kind of girl who studies hard and gossips well. She does her homework, is not late for school, does not peek at others in exams, and does not allow others to peek at herself. Physical education class always fails in long-distance running, sleeping on time, eating on time, going home on time, and going downstairs on time all his life: getting married on time, having children on time, and even coming to the official holiday on time-just like the 10 million double happiness cigarettes produced by Qian Qian in Shanghai Cigarette Factory, we have unified specifications, unified length, unified price, unified appearance, unified content and unified tar content, but the time of lighting is different, and the time of extinguishing after smoking is different.
But the giant finally didn't ask.
In a man's mouth, eating is the main thing, smoking is the secondary thing, kissing is the secondary thing, and sometimes talking is unnecessary.
This is what the giant thought when he was seventeen.
The last time the giant slipped from Ma Pingchuan's nose was at noon that day. He and Dian Wei had dinner in a restaurant near the school, smoked two cigarettes and just put the cigarette case and lighter away. Suddenly, without warning, Ma Pingchuan came in. The food in this restaurant is good, so the dean will visit occasionally and order a bowl of noodles or a few cages for frying.
Giants don't like the word "occasionally", which often means the exposure of appearances and the beginning of misfortune, especially when it comes to themselves occasionally. The giant's first action was to put the cigarette butt under the sole, pick up the vinegar pot on the table with his left hand, pour some vinegar into his empty bowl, and take a sip naturally like soup. That restaurant uses Zhenjiang balsamic vinegar, which is the best. Dian Wei sitting opposite him is three seconds behind him. When he rinsed his mouth with vinegar and then swallowed it, Ma Pingchuan just bought something and sat next to them.
Hello, teacher. Said the giant primly, and Dian Wei nodded his head.
Ma Pingchuan looked at the school badge on their school uniform, just nodded and began to eat. The giant and Dian Wei lost no time in leaving the restaurant. Go to the street, Dian Wei into a sigh of relief, but the giant took out a piece of wet tissue and handed it to him, saying, wipe your hands with this, clean up, here are sleeves.
Canon Acropolis saw that the paper towels were still soaked in vinegar, and I don't know when the giant made them. What Dian Wei Cheng said really scared me to death. I thought he was coming for us. Giant mouth said how is it possible, the in the mind also in doubt, not Memphis this girl betrayed himself. But it's not right to think about it. If Memphis knew that she was caught, it would definitely reveal her things. This is crazy. Memphis should only pray to God to bless the giant. And really want to catch them, Ma Pingchuan won't pick this time, the school rooftop is not easier to start?
Worry too much.
After dinner, Dian Wei Cheng and his class held a class meeting, leaving only a huge person smoking on the rooftop. Probably because there was only one person, the giant cigarette was uncomfortable. Just after throwing a cigarette butt, I heard footsteps coming. Dian Wei Cheng's footsteps are loud and can be heard. Not so light, cattail will not be so idle, staring at the corner warily.
What appeared in front of the behemoth was Memphis, a pale Memphis.
At that time, there were hundreds of reasons in the huge mind, trying to see the mystery from the girl's face, quietly reaching out to the bottle of vinegar, and ten thousand Ma Pingchuan appeared behind her or took immediate action to eliminate the evidence. But Memphis just stared at him for a moment and said, can I have a cigarette?
The giant is going to hold the bottle in his hand.
Rule 3: Don't let a little girl smoke her first cigarette in front of you.
The reason is that they cough, cry and complain. In short, they are annoying. The point is that they may waste a good cigarette. Especially since she is the director's niece, if one day the director finds out, you will die more ugly than any underground smoker.
However, the giant gave her cigarettes, and young people always do crazy things. Unexpectedly, Memphis skillfully lit a cigarette, took a drag, and then let the smoke come out of his nostrils, skillfully holding it in his mouth-his huge chin was about to fall off.
Is that weird? Memphis looked at his chin and asked, I must have smoked earlier than you. Can you believe it?
The giant closed his chin, nodded, and his chin fell down again.
Memphis smoked again, saying that my dad was an old smoker, two packs a day, and I secretly smoked my first cigarette in the third grade of elementary school.
After that, are you coming?
He found out and gave me a good beating.
The giant shrugged and said, then you are not afraid to go home today. ...
Memphis shook off the ash and interrupted the giant, saying that he was dead, lung cancer.
After a long pause, he suddenly said, if you want to smoke again in the future, the cigarette case is behind the fire box at the corner of the stairs. Remember to put it back when you are finished.
Don't ask me why I smoke.
Guess you can guess, today you are alone, lovelorn.
Memphis forced a smile and took out the red pair: he is a bad man, worse than a smoker.
Thank you. The giant lit one for himself.
You're welcome.-let's go. Memphis got up and headed for the exit.
The giant suddenly remembered and shouted to her, Have some orange peel and white vinegar!
Memphis did not turn around, waved out of thin air, opened the door and went downstairs.
Looking at the close sky, the giant suddenly felt bored, pinched off half the cigarettes and left the recreation and sports building early.
In the afternoon, Dian Wei was arrested.
The monster didn't know the details of Dian Wei's arrest, because Dian Wei spent two hours in the office of the guidance office. The giant was playing basketball in the playground when he was doing upper body exercises. It was said by a student cadre who just went to the guidance office to handle affairs. The giant's first reaction was to go to class, but he calmed down first and went to the recreation and sports building. He didn't find the cigarette case behind the fire box.
The giant ran to the office door of the guidance office. At that time, many students were waiting at the door to watch the fun. After a while, the door opened with a creak, and the first one came out was the grade leader, then the pale Dian Wei Cheng, then Ma Pingchuan and another middle-aged man-if the giant remembered correctly, that was Dian Wei Cheng's father.
On the way to the entrance of the teaching building, Dian Wei saw the giant standing in the crowd. He looked at him for two seconds and his face suddenly turned red. The grade leader dispersed the onlookers, and the giant followed the scattered students away. He heard two students in Canon Weicheng's class whispering that Canon's beard was caught in the toilet. Ma Pingchuan was surprised, but it seemed that he didn't explain anything. His mouth was hard to see.
When the two men turned the corner, the giant behind them had disappeared.
Memphis was in the classroom at that time, and several girls who didn't want to go to physical education class watched them do their homework in the classroom. Memphis is in a bad mood. The monster suddenly pushed away the chair next to her, and Memphis was startled, frowning and looking at the murderous monster inexplicably.
Did you say that? Dian Wei Cheng, and the fire box.
What are you talking about? ! Memphis found that everyone in the classroom looked at them in surprise.
Did you say that? If you break up with him, you don't have to worry-why didn't you tell me? Don't believe that Dian Wei will talk? Or give your deskmate a face?
Without rhyme or reason. Memphis ignored him and buried himself in writing.
Dramatically grabbed what she had written, swished it in half, and pointed her right index finger at Memphis. After a long time, he turned, walked out of the classroom and went straight to the academic affairs office.
The giant didn't see Memphis, who was drifting away behind him, crying silently.
When the giant came out of the academic affairs office, he was a person who was to be announced to receive a verbal warning tomorrow, but he was relaxed.
Of course, some people will not be relaxed, such as Memphis.
When the giant returned to the classroom to tidy up his schoolbag, everyone in the class had almost left, but at the other end of his desk, nothing had been tidied up, and everything was spread out on the table.
Someone comes out, someone goes in.
The giant smelled his palm, and the faint orange smell was too weak to be detected. He pushed things from Memphis to the other end of the table, put his schoolbag on the table, and suddenly someone knocked at the door. At first glance, it is a fragrant shop.
Come on, come on. Xiang Pu saw several people in the classroom and waved to him.
The giant put down his things and followed him to the men's room. Xiangpu made sure that every carriage was empty, so he took out a box of double happiness from his pocket and stuffed it into the giant's hand. He said, hide. I finished smoking all your cigarettes at noon today. I just bought it and returned it to you.
The giant brain thumped and asked, did you take our cigarettes?
Xiang Pu nodded and said that the pressure was too great recently and he wanted to smoke a few cigarettes. You didn't smoke much there. I was careless. I left one for you and took it all, so I just bought it from a small cigarette stall and wanted to put it in the old place, but I didn't dare to let it go when I heard that the moustache was caught. By the way, you can come directly.
I looked at him for a long time with great breathing disharmony and asked, do you know anything about Canon Acropolis?
Xiangpu looked at the door and said, that is, schools are scattered. It's all because of the bad luck of Canon Acropolis. I met him on the rooftop at noon today and smoked together. As a result, his cigarette butt accidentally burned his beard. We don't care. Hey, Ma Pingchuan, old thief, great ... Hey, where are you going? !
For the first time, Ran Ran entered the teaching building so fast.
Academic Affairs Office, the door is locked. Seeing no one around, the giant took a deep breath, jumped hard, climbed up the transom windowsill with his hands, and faced the transom like a pull-up. There is no one inside, only a teacher is on duty while reading the newspaper.
Classmate, what are you doing? !
Jumping back to the ground, the giant saw a man dressed as a teacher standing there, but ignored him at all and ran towards his classroom. The teacher at the back shouted, hey, don't run in the building! !
Fuck you! ! The giant didn't look back, but responded to him loudly.
This sentence deserves a serious warning.
The giant doesn't know that man is the headmaster.
Even if the giant knows, he will scold.
Many people suffered mentally and physically that day. For example, a boy and a girl from a new foreign school go shopping and have a hard time. He chose an unfortunate route and met a man by chance in an alley. The man stared at his face for a while and came over and asked him if he wanted a cigarette.
The boy said sorry, I don't smoke. After that, I felt familiar with each other, and I also wore school uniforms. I guess I met him at school.
The man didn't seem to hear, so he repeated, friend, buy a pack of cigarettes.
The boy is a little annoyed. The man in front of him is either crazy or joking-it's a pity that the joke is not funny.
I repeat, I don't smoke, Lin. Let's go and ignore this man. When he was about to leave, the other person grabbed his arm and said, you don't smoke, but you will definitely accept this kind of smoke.
The boy felt funny, shook off his hand and asked, "Tell me, what cigarettes do I definitely want?" As soon as the words were finished, the girl next to her screamed because her new boyfriend was knocked down by that man.
Although the punch was not strong, it was very accurate, and it was right in the middle of the jaw. The boy fell to the ground softly.
The giant said, this kind of cigarette is called Memphis, and its taste may be a little strong. You should be careful.
It's getting colder and colder.
Standing at the station in the evening, with his hands in his pockets, he gently swayed from side to side.
The bus hasn't come for a long time. There are many people waiting for the bus, so it may not be crowded.
There are two pieces of paper in his right hand pocket, with his familiar handwriting on it. Every time he can't wait to read it, but the owner of the handwriting is not easy to show it to him.
Those two pieces of paper were put in his unfinished schoolbag, specially written for him. Unfortunately, they didn't finish.
In fact, those two pieces of paper were originally one, but they were torn in half by a bad guy.
The writer's heart should be like these two pieces of paper.
The giant decided to go home on foot instead of waiting for the bus.
The giant is seventeen years old this year. Huge smoke. The giant is underage. The giant has never been caught, but the giant is an idiot.
For the first time, the giant recalled every word he saw on those two pieces of paper, so beautiful.
He passed a small stall that specializes in foreign cigarettes. The smoker looked at him eagerly, regardless of his school uniform, waiting for his hand to stick out of his pocket, took out a ten-dollar bill and pointed to the dazzling things on the board in front of him.
To our disappointment, the boy did nothing.
Just as he was stunned, two foreigners came to buy cigarettes. The cigarette seller temporarily forgot about this behemoth and was busy with his own business. When he put the money in his pocket and looked up again, the monster was gone. But he found a pack of cigarettes on his surfboard.
That cigarette is definitely not his own, because he only sells cigarettes and cigars.
But he is very familiar with that kind of cigarette, because it can be seen everywhere in Shanghai, and it costs eight yuan a box, which is called double happiness.
Short for red double.
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