A funny joke about starting school.

School is about to start. Some people are happy and others are worried. The following are the funny jokes I compiled for your reading.

1, freshmen and juniors think that they should make instant noodles, but in fact, their favorite thing is instant noodles. ...

2. I studied sacred knowledge, and you actually measured it with scores, which is simply an academic stain! ! !

3, pay tuition fees with Alipay! Confirm payment after the results come out! ! ! Good reviews and bad reviews to see a mood! ! If you fail, apply for a refund! ! ! The teacher followed her ass and said, honey, praise me! ! ! Honey, take this course, honey! ! ! Honey, the report card has been sent out! ! ! Please check it, dear! ! !

4. Xiao Zhang went to the canteen to cook and found that there were 7 cockroaches in the rice! He came to the dining window angrily, smashed the lunch box there and shouted angrily, "Seven cockroaches!" " "In a flash, the noisy canteen was quiet and everyone stared at it. I saw that the chef who cooked rice didn't change color or jump. He calmly pushed out A Qiang's lunch box: "How many times have I told you that it takes eight cockroaches to change a bag of bean paste! "

When school starts, the teacher will say to you,' School is your home'! When you sleep in class, the teacher says,' You think school is your home! When cleaning, the teacher will say to you,' School is your home'. When you don't wear school uniform, the teacher said,' Do you think school is your home?

6. A headmaster gave a speech in the auditorium: "In order to communicate with young people better, I read seven books of Harry Potter in the summer vacation. The school-running concept of Hogwarts is worth learning. " The students under the stage are very happy. The headmaster sighed with emotion: "No matter whether a great school is haunted, students are dead, teachers are dead, parents of students are killed, and the headmaster is killed or attacked by mobs, it can't stop it from starting school on time every year."

7. The large-scale 4D horror disaster film "School Begins" will be released simultaneously in major cities in China in the middle and late August. It is reported that at the request of the school, the premiere of the film will be advanced from September 1 to August, and a free weekly ticket for the sister film "Military Training" will be given during the premiere week. The movie channel department estimates that the box office may exceed 100 million.

September 8 ... is the season when seniors seduce seniors, seniors seduce seniors, seniors covet seniors, seniors cling to seniors, seniors envy seniors, seniors hate seniors, seniors abandon seniors, seniors retaliate against seniors, seniors cheat seniors, seniors please seniors, seniors pursue seniors, and seniors refuse seniors. ...

9. Tell you a terrible news: Dear, your summer balance is less than 10 days. If you need a lot of recharge, you have to wait another 5 months!

10, just as the training started, it began to rain. A classmate said, "Report, can you go back and collect clothes?" Instructor: "Everyone is training, let's find a time to bask!" " "

1 1. School is about to start. Jenny's classmate Mina went to Jenny's house to play, and they naturally talked about the summer vacation. Jenny said, "This summer vacation is so boring. I look forward to starting school every day, and the future is bright after school. " "What's the good hope?" Mina asked. "Looking forward to the next complete summer vacation!" Jenny replied.

12, people are at home in the classroom, reading is not as good as falling in love. Study for college entrance examination and fall in love with the next generation.

13, the first round of the exam, I have been copying MM's answers. After handing in the paper, MM gave me a cold stare and said, "What are you looking at me for? What I did was Volume B "Ah, bah, I didn't say it earlier!

14, you can't die during the summer vacation! Can't die! What should I do if you die? I don't want to go with Mr. Xue Kai! I don't want it! Summer vacation jun, are you going to abandon me … how can I live! Mr. Xue Kai, get away from me! I'm not going with you! cheat ...

15, the first part: seniors see how juniors teach sophomores to cheat freshmen; Bottom line: Freshman listens to sophomore talk about how to dump seniors; Horizontal batch: you always have to return it when you come out.

16, rest during training, and ask the monitor to sing. The monitor is from Guangdong, and the students require Cantonese. Monitor: "The lyrics will be forgotten ..." Instructor: "Never mind, just sing, we can't understand anyway."

17, I always know how to play with my mobile phone, sleep and eat. If I don't go out all the time, you will get fat sooner or later, and I always know that I won't go home when I go out ... Mom, it's all my fault. Can't I start school?

18, I have been trying to copy every exam for more than ten years. Why? Is it for yourself? Not just to improve the class average! For the teacher's face! For the evaluation of the grade director, first evaluate the excellent! It's a shame for the headmaster to go to the Education Bureau for a meeting! I feel scared and sweaty every time I copy it. Did I mention complaining? I'm so selfless. What else do you want from me?

19, it is said that there were many students who skipped classes one afternoon, with thunder and lightning, heavy rain and bad weather. The teacher came into the classroom and said slowly, I am grateful that so many students came to my class in such bad weather today ... I can't repay you. Please call a name. ......

20. As a bachelor senior, I am responsible to remind you that your senior sister is ours, so don't think about it. Secondly, our junior is ours, don't grab it; Besides, to some extent, you are also ours. I hope you don't refuse.

2 1, starting school is like going to jail, being sentenced today and going to jail tomorrow. .

22. Fast marching training. After the instructor ordered attention, he was afraid that everyone would not get along. After a while, two words appeared: "Go ..." Suddenly, a row of people with their heads held high fell down. ...

23, lying in bed playing mobile phone, slapping yourself at the thought of not finishing homework, distracted by playing mobile phone!

24. Go to school, don't go to school, all schools are there, and start school on time. You study, or you don't study, the book is there, and you have to read it sooner or later. You listen, or you don't listen, the teacher is here, and you don't leave until class is over. You study, or you don't study, the exam is there and you never give up. You come, you don't come, the roll call is there, love will come or not. Go to school silently. Lonely and helpless.

25. When school starts, the teacher will say to you, "School is your home!" When you were sleeping in class, the teacher said, "You think school is your home!" " "When cleaning, the teacher will say to you," School is your home. "When you don't wear school uniform, the teacher said," Do you think school is your home? "