Why don't many parents have such dignity?

As a teacher, what I hear most is probably the parent's sentence "Teacher, he doesn't listen to me, please tell me more about him". In fact, not all parents shirk their responsibilities, but they really can't convince their children.

But the problem is that children will eventually graduate and leave school. As a parent at that time, he wouldn't listen to you. What should I do?

Of course, children will grow up and become young people. Eighteen years old, have their own opinions, don't listen to your parents, it is normal. People will always grow up, travel around the world according to their own understanding, and do not have to obey everything. The "disobedience" mentioned above, more precisely, parents mean "not doing homework seriously, staying up late and always playing mobile phones". In other words, parents' words have no weight in front of children, and all kinds of educational measures can't be conveyed, let alone implemented.

Parents should have their own dignity. Dignity is not power, not scaring children, but effective communication with children. Children can see you and listen to you.

Then why don't many parents have such dignity?

I summed up a few points:

First of all, keep your promise and match your words with your deeds.

A mother came to complain to me that the child was too stubborn to do anything when asked. I talk to the children alone and ask questions. This is a very observant and thoughtful child, and I have a good impression on him. He told me one reason, because his mother broke her promise and promised to take him to the zoo, but she didn't go for a year. Every time she has a different reason, the weather is bad or she is busy. He was disappointed and never expressed her protest with disapproval.

Everyone must have heard the story of Ceng Zi killing pigs. Promise to kill pigs and give children meat. You can't just coax. Zeng Zi really killed the pig. If you keep your word, you will get what you say. Don't talk if you can't do it. Adults who keep their promises can gain the respect of their children, both parents and teachers.

Second, lead by example and persevere.

Can you insist that the children get up early? Can you insist on taking his parents to school? Can you insist on checking his exercise book? When you are with him, can you stick to your heart and not play with your mobile phone?

It is not difficult to do projects once or twice a week, but it is difficult to persist.

Let's keep checking our homework. The common problem of students with learning difficulties is that they are in arrears with their homework. The teacher gave feedback to the parents, and the parents went home to beat and scold the children, giving them a solid lesson. In the first few days, I can insist on looking through my exercise books to see if I have finished all my writing and my handwriting is not correct. But gradually, when things are busy or I am bored, I will not turn over my exercise books seriously, but ask, "Have you finished?" The child answered "yes", and without the following, the homework problem returned to its original state.

After that, even if you make up your mind to clean up your child's homework, will he still take your words seriously? Because children also know that parents will only have a fever for three minutes. Just saying.

Third, don't lose your temper and be reasonable.

Some parents seem to be very strict, and it is easy to cause a storm. In fact, the starting point of his anger is not that the child did something wrong, but that the child's behavior violated something he didn't like or approve of. He decides whether the child is right or wrong according to his own preferences. When children are young, this kind of harshness may be useful, but it also lays the curse of "unreasonable and only emotional". When children grow up and start to be able to confront their parents, they will not face each other's cognitive differences with a reasonable attitude. You tell me to go east, but I want to go west. I'm rebellious.

And some parents are too reasonable. I've seen it many times. Children are addicted to playing mobile phones, and parents have been clamoring for "Stop playing, it's not good for your eyes!" "Go do your homework and stop playing!" "It's really bad to play games all the time!" Keep talking, but don't show anything in action, let the children continue to play. So, you said that you can do it at will, I will play, and the children will automatically block the parents.

What shall we do? Why don't you put the phone through? "Stop playing" is enough. Don't be angry, don't scold, just tell him calmly. As a parent, you have the right to manage your mobile phone. In fact, it is much more useful to set the password of the mobile phone as early as possible and agree on the use time of the mobile phone with the child.

Fourth, equal communication and effective implementation.

Children don't listen to their parents, so parents must be right? Do children have to listen to what parents say? Can he have his own ideas and put forward some different opinions? If the child disagrees with you, can you listen carefully and make a compromise?

As mentioned above, parents should have the dignity of their parents, but this does not mean that children should obey their parents in everything. I think it is very important for parents to guide consultation and communication and fully respect their children's opinions. Children will respect you only if you respect them.

Once an agreement is reached, it must be carried out to the letter.

When children are disobedient, don't complain and blame them, and expose their weakness and disorientation. Never let your emotions get out of control at any time.

There is a famous saying in our education circle that "education means that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul awakens another soul". If you are a diligent, active and self-disciplined adult, your child will never be lazy and out of control. "