I want to be a full-time mother, but I'm worried about the pressure after doing it. What should I do?

Hello, mothers want to participate more in their children's growth. I also had the idea of quitting my job and taking care of my baby at home. At present, this idea has been lingering in my mind. It can be seen that you, like me, still have room for choice and thinking. It is not reality that keeps us at home. Although tangled, it is also lucky. Despite the fact that I have to be a full-time mother because of practical factors, I personally consider this at present when faced with the choice:

I didn't consider being a full-time mother until my child was 0-3 years old. I've thought about it, too, because my daughter is two years old now, and she still has one year to go to kindergarten. But if she is over 3 years old, I personally don't consider full-time or only freelance.

I think raising children can be divided into two stages. The first stage is 0-3 years old. At this stage, the baby needs careful care and companionship, and needs to establish enough sense of security. After the age of 3, children not only need care and companionship in life, but also need correct teaching from their mothers. At this time, I want my children to see their mother's efforts and independence.

Second, before thinking clearly, start making some practical preparations. Like you, I'm beginning to think about whether to take care of the baby full-time. I made some attempts to "verify" whether I am suitable to be a stay-at-home mother, and before I thought it over, I began to make some practical preparations.

1, psychological preparation: set yourself a stay-at-home mom "experience day"

I don't think all mothers are suitable for full-time. Everyone's personality is different, and everyone's achievement orientation and value orientation are different. Some mothers really find the joy and sense of value in life by accompanying their children to grow up, while some mothers think that work can bring happiness to their children.

I think the most important thing is to be yourself and make yourself happy before choosing to be a full-time mother. Happy words can bring good mood to children. Therefore, it depends on whether you can have fun in the process of being a stay-at-home mother, rather than taking being a stay-at-home mother as a sad sacrifice for your family.

I set myself an "experience day" for a stay-at-home mother, so that I can take care of my baby during the previous epidemic and during the small holiday to see if I can accept this day-to-day full-time baby-sitting life. From this, I also estimated how much time I can have every day after taking care of my baby full-time, and how to make some self-improvement arrangements.

2. Financial preparation: Prepare reserves for at least one year to make yourself more confident.

Sometimes, the reality is that the economic base determines the superstructure, including family status. No one wants to take only their husband's money every month. After I started thinking about being a stay-at-home mother, I have prepared a reserve fund for at least one year, regardless of whether I choose this path in the end.

These reserves can also be used as the principal of financial management, and later through reasonable financial management, you can also make yourself more passive income. If I am tired, I hope I can spend some money freely to please myself.

3. Support system preparation: discuss this issue with parents to see if they can get a correct understanding.

Being a full-time mother is a major change in the division of labor in the family. I will discuss this issue with my husband's elders intentionally or unintentionally to find out their views on stay-at-home mothers. It is very important to know their thoughts.

A mother in Shanghai, due to negligence, her five-month-old child fell out of bed. She is very self-blaming and embarrassed. "If you don't go to work, even the children don't dare to look!" After hearing her husband's accusation, she committed suicide by jumping off a building with her children.

If your husband or elder thinks that you can't make money by taking full-time care of your baby, and the baby is your own business, or even thinks that "I try my best to support my family, and it's useless for you to even take care of your child", then I suggest not to be a full-time mother. Stay-at-home mothers who are not understood will be overwhelmed by their family's views.

4. Preparation for self-improvement: Do something beneficial to your growth every day.

The process of children's growth is a process of gradually leaving the family and becoming an independent individual. The most dangerous thing in educating children is to make them feel that someone at home is "watching me grow up".

Fan Deng, the founder of Fan Deng Reading Association, once said, "If you make your child feel that his mother only cares about him, the child will feel great pressure. If you make him feel that his mother has her own beautiful life, she has her own ideas and curiosity and is exploring the world. This child will especially like you and worship you. At this time, his sense of security will increase. So don't just live in an environment dominated by family parenting. "

I have recorded my daily schedule through the "Experience Day" of stay-at-home mothers. On the "Experience Day", I found that if I become a full-time mother, my real time is only two hours every day. This is a reality that I have to face, but although it is rare, it is not without it.

Opportunities are always reserved for those who are prepared. Do something beneficial to your growth every day, even if you make a little progress every day. Although working full-time for a few years will affect your career, there are many precious mothers around us who can still find good jobs after working full-time for a few years.

What they have in common is constant learning, thinking and sharing. Even if you just take care of your baby, you can increase your experience and knowledge in family education. As long as you have personal value, you are not afraid of being eliminated by society in this era of unlimited opportunities.

To sum up, in the face of the unknown and change, everyone will be uneasy and afraid. Nothing is more direct and effective than a positive face. Only a positive face is the key to defeating yourself. So for me, before making a decision, I will give myself a buffer period, and prepare myself psychologically, financially, support system and self-improvement, so as to help me judge more rationally whether becoming a full-time mother is the best choice.

Thank you for your invitation, Wukong.

Looking at the child you described, I really want to say "resign as soon as possible to accompany the child to grow up." Because reality does not allow two young children to "entrust others" completely. A "infertile" mother will owe her child a lifetime. It is "going it alone" without "father's love" to only push the "companion care" of children to the mother's father. However, after being a full-time mother, the relationship between husband and wife often appears disharmony, inadaptability, disharmony and unfairness, and even the husband looks down on his "lover", and the wife perceives all kinds of doubts about "not trying to please". Because "housewives" and "yellow-faced women" who "take care of children" have lost their "attraction" of being no longer young, the "load" of family expenditure and consumption depends entirely on the "face" of their husbands. Therefore, the right to choose is the mother's duty and obligation, and the sense of security and trust are the tacit cooperation between husband and wife.

The pressure is really great, because the two children are still young, you need to take care of everything in life and spirit, and if you are a full-time mother, a lot of housework is indispensable.

My suggestion is 1.

It's best to mobilize parents at home to help take care of themselves, don't resign, make some adjustments at work, and don't be too stressed at work.

Once you become a full-time mother, it is easy to derail from society, and your contact with colleagues and friends will become less and less, and your social circle will become narrower and narrower. Of course, you have to balance the relationship between family, work and children.

Suggestion 2: If you quit your job and become a stay-at-home mother, you can shift your focus. The education of two children is very important. You can participate in the research of family education, the cultivation of children, and the care of children's life, so that you can know many parents, communicate and share more on the same channel, so that your spiritual life is very rich, you can raise children scientifically and accumulate a lot of children's experience and knowledge.

Many stay-at-home mothers keep a lot of diaries and share a lot, and finally write a book while accompanying their children to grow up.

Others like to make nutritious breakfast, make different breakfasts in different ways every day, and finally send them out in the form of pictures to share with you. There are still many people who follow him. A person might as well be happy.

Being a full-time mother to raise children is also a profession, and maybe I will have great gains and career success in this respect.

In short, being a stay-at-home mom is stressful. It depends on what you do. If you do, you will have a good family, good children and a very good parent-child relationship.

Looking forward to a good mother coming out.

I mainly look at what I value most at this stage.

If what you value is self-growth, then find resources to solve the problem of bringing children and try to accompany them with high quality. If there are no available resources at this stage, you must take care of your baby full-time. First, communicate with your family and get their support. In fact, we should pay attention to the workplace situation during taking care of the baby, and we should not relax and improve ourselves. You can also make more friends and cultivate some interests. In this way, I won't feel out of touch with society and I can easily return to the workplace when I can.

If your baby is too young, before the age of three, without the help of parents and relatives, and you are not at ease, then it is understandable to resign and take care of the baby! But if your baby is taken care of or goes to school, you can go to work and pick it up when you go to school, so there is no need to resign. After all, a family needs the joint efforts of both husband and wife. In the workplace, if people have goals and income, the family burden will not be too heavy, and they can maintain a certain degree of cultivation and acumen. Being a full-time mother is not for everyone. If you don't want to get away with it in the workplace and quit your job and go home, personally, it is actually an irresponsible act!

I'm a stay-at-home mom now, so there must be some pressure. The pressure is mainly financial resources, followed by children's troubles.

If someone helps bring the baby, the premise is that the elders bring the baby reliably. It is suggested that it is best not to be a full-time mother, go to work during the day and take care of the baby at night. Because stay-at-home mothers work for a long time, there is an adaptation stage and inertia before entering the workplace.

The advantage of being a full-time mother is that she can take care of the baby, and the child is happier with her mother's company. However, since then, the focus has been on the child, interacting with pots and pans all day, which requires psychological preparation in advance. After all, most stay-at-home mothers are anxious now.

First of all, you have to weigh whether to be a stay-at-home mother or go to work, and see where your focus is. If you want to educate your children well, you can bring them by yourself. It is possible to have financial support. Everyone's needs are different. Some people want to develop their own careers, so you can only find someone to help take care of them.

I mainly have no one to take care of the baby, so I can only take care of it myself.

However, there are many full-time mothers who can do part-time jobs. Based on my life as a full-time nanny for three years, I would like to share the following experiences:

1. Adjust your mind. You will find fewer and fewer friends when you take care of the baby. You can go outdoors more at this time.

2. Improve yourself. If you have the ability, you can improve yourself from all aspects, such as academic qualifications, vocational skills and reading more.

3. manage yourself. Living with the baby is lazy, unlike having a fixed time at work. When the baby is young, his schedule is more chaotic. At this time, you should also manage yourself and keep enough sleep. Don't let yourself be unkempt and become the wife of your husband.

4. Contact with new things, which is also to keep yourself from derailing the society and gain new opportunities.

If you choose to be a full-time mother, don't feel too stressed. It is also a great thing to grow up happily with children.

You'd better not resign. Children can be looked after. Everyone should have their own things to do. Integration into society is good for families.

Resignation with a baby and being a full-time mother need to consider the following points:

First, do you agree to resign and take care of the baby through the family meeting, and fully discuss the advantages and disadvantages of being a full-time mother, especially to understand her husband's thoughts and how to deal with the economic burden;

Second, before being a full-time mother, ask yourself if you really like to take care of your baby, enjoy the fun of taking care of your baby, and believe that you have the ability to take care of your baby and educate your baby.

Third, all the anxiety and stress may be that you are not ready. Even a stay-at-home mother should insist on self-study and growth. Have you made a good plan and time management, and tried to find time for yourself to study and stay out of touch with society?

Fourth, children may need their mother's company when they are three years old, and they don't like to play with adults when they have friends at school in the future. Do stay-at-home mothers prepare for this or make their own career plans?

Fifth, being a full-time mother is a 24-hour job. Don't think about having time to rest or be lazy. You can negotiate with your family and get support, but if not, have you considered dealing with this problem, including managing your emotions?

Family support, financial security and ability are well handled, so you can try to be a full-time mother.

Being a full-time mother is definitely the hardest job in the world, so the pressure is not small.

What kind of pressure will you encounter?

First, the secular vision.

Undeniably, until now, many people in society are still biased against stay-at-home mothers; I will think that stay-at-home mothers are people who enjoy success at home, even influenced by the old concept that stay-at-home mothers have no knowledge and education and can only live by their husbands. When talking, if you introduce someone as a stay-at-home mother, you will often inadvertently reveal a trace of contempt. Therefore, if you want to be a full-time mother, you must stand the contempt of others.

Second, the pressure of the husband's family.

If you are a full-time mother at home for a long time, it will often cause resentment from your mother-in-law; Mother-in-law will feel that her son is working hard to support her family and her daughter-in-law is doing nothing at home. While she is distressed by her son, it is inevitable that she will feel disgusted or even disgusted with her daughter-in-law. Therefore, if you work at home full-time, it may deepen the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Third, the husband's opinion.

At the beginning of many marriages, husbands will deeply promise "I will support you"; After experiencing the daily necessities of marriage, many husbands will also realistically say, "I am working hard outside, and it is really useless for you to take care of the baby at home."

Therefore, if you stay at home full-time, you should consider whether the feelings between you and your husband are deep and how your position in the family is after a long time at home; At the same time, you should also carefully calculate whether your husband can support the daily expenses of the family, and what kind of living conditions you will face if he supports the family alone.

So I personally suggest not to be full-time.

Of course, real life needs to be weighed; If no one takes care of the children at home, you can only stay at home full-time.

If you are at home, I suggest you make plans.

First, arrange the time of day reasonably.

Your Dabao is four years old. It should be the age to go to kindergarten. Bauer is seven months old and still a baby. You have to take care of the children's diet every day, take Dabao to kindergarten, and maybe do other housework. So many things are small, but it takes a lot of time to finish them all. Therefore, as a party, we should arrange the order of doing these things reasonably.

Second, don't forget to enrich yourself.

As a full-time mother at home, she will largely ignore her own needs because she has to cope with complicated housework; But if so, my mother will gradually be out of touch with society and even be eliminated by society. So I think every stay-at-home mother must not forget to enrich herself.

Set aside a certain time every day, read a page or two, or learn a little skill; Or join some punching clubs, practice yoga, learn painting and so on. Although there is only a short time every day, perseverance will make you progress.

Of course, if you are interested in writing, you can also try to write from the media; For example, your own parenting routine, such as sharing your own parenting experience. This is convenient for you to get in touch with the same frequency of treasure mothers, and it would be better if you could earn some income.

Of course, any road is your own; As long as you choose the next road, then don't be afraid, go on unswervingly and confidently, believing that the road will get wider and wider.

Welcome to leave a message to pay attention to @ 中中中中中, I can talk to you about parenting education and grow up with my children.

First of all, any choice is bound to bring panic, whether in the workplace or at home.

I think the pressure of the subject probably comes from the panic of losing income and returning to the family in an all-round way.

With this feeling, it is imperative to communicate with your lover. After all, children have both mothers and fathers, and the roles of parents are equally important. Communicating with your lover does not mean that you don't need to think clearly in advance. You have to have basic ideas before you can talk to your lover alone.

What your lover needs to pay attention to is whether he has reached an agreement with you for full-time work. Are you sure of your decision? Are you also prepared to bear the burden of the main source of income? The two brains have thought about this problem almost, which is the most important prerequisite for the project to take this step and not be anxious after working full-time.

When you fully communicate with your lover and go back to your family, then plan your personal life. For example, the child's current age, the parenting concept of you and the child's father (note that all actions are based on the family, not yourself), and the education plan you made at this stage of your child. With this plan, close the door and allocate time to your children and yourself.

I hope it helps.