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7 Funny campus sketch script: "Monkey King Thrice Defeats the Skeleton Demon"

On this day, Tang Priest and his disciples came to the foot of a big mountain.

Tang Priest: Disciple, what is this place? It's ~ ~ ~ beautiful!

Wukong: Master, it's been several years since you left Dongtu Datang. Why are you still like this? It's just a stone mountain. What is there to see? Say you are a water turtle, but you are afraid that Guanyin's sister will scold me. Finding a stone on this mountain is more knowledgeable than you! How can you cover all people like you? We are too lazy to do a little magic. Even the horse you rode kicked you over at once. You have brought us endless trouble. Please learn something else!

Tang Priest: Shit! I was just relaxing. You are such a mother-in-law, complaining and nagging. Do you want to hang out?

Friar Sand: Well, well, everyone is out to work for Guanyin Tathagata, so why bother?

Tang Priest: I'm talking to your big brother. When is your turn to interrupt? In order to solve your problem, I have put your brother's gold ring on your head. Will you come again?

Friar Sand: Good! I shut up!

Tang Priest: Bajie, the teacher is going to talk about you again. Although you have lost some weight recently, although Friar Sand doesn't like to argue with others, you can carry your luggage on your shoulders ... Don't do that.

Bajie: I did it for the good of everyone! My old pig is easy to get hungry when walking, so it is inevitable that everyone will go to lent, which will inevitably delay the time to learn from the scriptures.

Tang Priest: I was wrong about you. You can continue riding around your brother's neck.

Friar Sand: # @ $ Tang Priest: Wukong, let him talk. I am really hungry, so please come!

Wukong: Me again? Is it your turn to go?

Tang Priest: Theoretically, I should go to Huazhai, but these two days are not convenient …

(collective fainting)

Wukong: OK, I'll go!

Bajie: Wait a minute. What if someone, a demon or something comes to rob you later?

Friar Sand: Come on, look at us with bald heads and beards. What shemale dares to rob us?

Bajie: pervert!

Friar Sand: Huh? Did you see it too? Yes, my beard is connected. I think as a man, ...

Bajie: Stop! I mean, perverts will rob us!

Tang Priest: Yes! Wukong, something will inevitably come out of this wilderness. look ...

Wukong: What a bother! If I had known this, I would have gone to learn the scriptures myself. Fortunately, I was prepared. Look!

(Everyone): Ah! It's the power grid!

Wukong: Not bad! This is Bodyguard power grid, with low power consumption, simple manufacture, adjustable voltage and high safety. It has both AC and DC models and unique leakage protection device, which is especially suitable for families with children at home. Its unique folding design is more portable and is a must for home travel! And not expensive! From now on, as long as you call our free direct dial number, our staff will come to the door for installation and debugging within 24 hours for free! And I will give you a beautiful electric ear-digging spoon!

Friar Sand: Brother, I see it. I have a battery!

Wukong: Good boy! ~ ~ ~ ~ I'll go now!

Tang Priest: Wait a minute! Wukong, take the water tank on Friar Sand's back. This time, you will spend more food to fast. The teacher is a little hungry!

Wukong: ... I see!

At the same time, in the cave of this mountain, the Bai family of three are watching TV.

Dad: TV programs are really boring, and there is nothing to watch all day long. I haven't seen him let go of anything else since I bought it back!

White son: I told you, you should install an antenna. It was in the mountains and there was no signal. Of course, it's just snowflakes.

White mother: In my opinion, evening will be more useful. Just turn off the sound and we can use it as a desk lamp!

Bai Er: Shh ... There seems to be a sound!

White mother: Your father must have left the tap on when he washed his hands in the toilet.

Dad Bai: Shit! I haven't eaten people for more than three months. Where did I get this shit? To be honest, I want to eat shit now!

Bai Zi: Two idiots, have you read the newspaper? Westward Journey Daily said that the Tang Priest was coming! Eating his meat can not only prolong life, but also relieve cough and phlegm, clear throat and moisten throat. We have no reason to miss the opportunity arranged by God!

Dad Bai: Golden voice and throat treasure? Go out and have a look!

Bai's son: But I heard that there is an underworld organization under the Tang Priest, headed by the Monkey King, who made a lot of noise 500 years ago!

White mother: the Monkey King? Is that the one from Xing Chi Virtual Community? I know.

Bai Zi: That's not true. If you interrupt again, I'll ~ ~ ~ ~ blow your eyes out!

Hey! There's really no way. You boil the water first, and I'll have a look!

Dad Bai: Look out! Son!

(The White Snake came to the Tang Priest's resting place ...)

Bai Zi: Hello, masters!

Tang Priest: Hello, little friend. What are you doing alone?

Bai Zi: I'm going home. My home is not far ahead. My parents have cooked the meal, wait for me to go home for dinner!

Bajie: What? Is there a meal? Master, eldest brother hasn't come back for a long time, so let's take the little one home.

Tang Priest: You are so rude. People don't want us to go. How dare you ask a teacher? You are an old pig begging for food from other children. Are you ashamed?

Bai Zi: That's all right. My family is also a Buddhist. My parents will be very happy if everyone goes together.

Tang Priest: Oh? Is there anyone else in your family?

White son: There are only three people in our family.

Tang Priest: It's really a couple and a baby, which is beneficial to the country and the people! Friar Sand, you put away the power grid. We won't wait for Wukong.

(Wukong just came back at this moment)

Wukong: Hum! Eat my old grandson!

Tang Priest: Stop it! I won't say anything about you if you hit the child, but you should aim more accurately. You almost hit me!

Wukong: Sorry! I'm sorry! I called again. Hey! Eat my old grandson!

Bai Zi: Ah! (killed on the spot) (thinking: shit! That's too bad. It is said that children are the future masters. Why am I the first to die? ) Bajie: Great! Big brother killed someone! Friar Sand: Hum! How rare and strange!

Tang Priest: Bajie, your eldest brother killed so many creatures along the way, please stop! But Wukong, you are wrong this time. I just asked this kid. There are three people in his family. He is an only child, not an unplanned birth. You shouldn't kill him.

Wukong: Master, where are you from in Fiona Fang?

Tang Priest: Maybe camping?

Wukong: Show it to your mother!

Tang Priest: Don't you dare scold me!

Wukong: If it weren't for Guanyin's sake, I would have hit you!

Tang Priest: ◎ ※▲ @&#■☆ 〓 ◆ ■ .......... (Hooping spell)

Friar Sand: Master Mo Nian!

Tang Priest: Sorry! I forgot to put a gold ring on you.

Wukong: See what else you can do!

Tang Priest: OK, I'm convinced. Let's eat first!

Wukong: How nice it is so early!

(The two pots of water in the cave have been boiled dry, and Bai Er hasn't come back yet. )

Dad Bai: Wife, why hasn't my son come back yet?

White mother: Yes, it must be playing with the little girl of the fox family in Beishan. You should discipline your son well. The college entrance examination will be held next year. Beware of puppy love!

Dad Bai: You are crazy! Have you ever seen a bunch of bones marry a fox? Science fiction? Wesley? Save it.

White mother: Only you understand! No, I must find him!

Dad Bai: Hum! Woman!

White mother: Wrong! It should be called female ghost!

(White mother is here ...)

White mother: Master, did you just see a little boy pass by here?

Tang Priest: We are new here too. We didn't see anything.

Bajie: Right! Even though we saw a little boy, we didn't kill him!

Wukong: Shit! Are you a pig brain?

Bajie: Right?

Friar Sand: Second brother, please say less.

White mother: What? (Seeing the body on the ground at a glance) Who did this?

Tang Priest: I told you to deal with the scene after killing someone, otherwise it would be easy to be caught. Look, I was right, wasn't I?

Wukong: Shut your crow mouth!

White mother: Ah! ~ ~ ~ ~ Son, you died miserably! Who killed you!

Tang Priest: Not me.

Bajie: Not me.

Friar Sand: Not me.

White mother: That must be you! What a world this is! Even horses can kill people!

Bai: Forget it. I can't let anyone ride it. How can I kill someone? There is another one standing over there.

White mother: I know, isn't he the Monkey King? But I can't beat him. All you have to do is let me kick my feet and get rid of the Japanese.

Wukong: Be careful that I accuse you of abusing pets! Bai: Shit! You still treat me like a pet! You eat and drink enough every day, just find some grass to fool me, in fact, I am also the third prince of the Dragon King! Carrying this fat monk all day, is that how the family treats their pets?

Wukong: OK, OK, I can sue her for cruelty to livestock, right?

Bai: That's more like it!

White mother: OK! Will you care about my children, too

Wukong: You can have another child when the child dies. I see you are still hale and hearty, and your husband is in good health, right?

Why don't you go home and have another one

Tang Priest: Wukong, you killed someone's children. How can you talk to someone like that?

Bajie: That's right.

Wukong: Go!

Tang Priest: How about this? This is twelve taels of silver. Take it back and bury your son first.

White mother: Twelve taels? Send beggars?

Friar Sand: Donor, twelve taels is enough. I only pick one or two a week!

White mother: It's not easy for me to have a son. It's just a price, twenty taels!

Bajie: Robbery?

Tang Priest: Twelve Liang.

White mother: Nineteen beams.

Tang Priest: Fourteen Liang. White mother: eighteen taels.

Tang Priest: Sixteen beams. White mother: Deal! Wukong: Hum! Eat my old grandson!

White mother: Ah! ~ ~ ~ ~ (dead)

Tang Priest: Wukong, people didn't say anything about eating me. Why did you kill me again?

Wukong: I hate women who bargain with others. Anyway, they are monsters, and they have saved sixteen taels of silver. Why not?

Tang Priest: Hmm! There is something in what you say. Let's go and don't forget to get the money back!

(Finally, Dad Bai can't wait. He chased him all the way ...)

Bai Dad: Are you monks who went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures?

Tang Priest: Yes, I'm a monk who went to the East and the West to learn Buddhist scriptures, or Tang Priest for short!

Dad Bai: How dare you monks! How dare you hurt my wife and children!

Tang Priest: Shit! The whole family is here. I really don't understand. I'm just a monk. How can you live forever after eating my meat? Even so, how did the monsters along the way know?

Dad Bai: Look at this!

(Everyone): Huh? Westward Journey Daily?

Dad Bai: Yes, this is a newspaper published by Tianzhu. Editor-in-chief Tathagata, you must subscribe to monsters along the way. Once a day, we keep pace with your development.

Wukong: Is Tathagata so boring?

Dad Bai: Nonsense! Otherwise, where are you from? In this way, Tathagata can also be the editor-in-chief to earn some spare money. They have already calculated it.

The newspaper advertisement also said that Tang monk meat can live forever!

Tang Priest: That's a lie! I want so much meat, I'll eat a piece myself first, so why bother?

Dad Bai: Hum! You also travel at public expense in the name of learning from the scriptures!

Wukong: What? Are you kidding? Along the way, we didn't talk about medicine, and we didn't have a fixed residence and a fixed income. Really can't. We set up stalls, performed circuses, sold songs and sold art, and did nothing! Go eat shit!

Dad Bai: Oh? Life is quite colorful!

Friar Sand: Why don't you try?

Dad Bai: OK! Anyway, everyone in the family is dead. Why don't we go together?

Wukong: Yes, there are many friends and many roads. Let's go together!

Tang Priest: Isn't there another person's fee along the way?

Dad Bai: It doesn't matter. I can cook with a fire, watch the children wash dishes, tidy up the house, wash clothes, brush the toilet and empty the spittoon. These are all things that talented people can't do and won't cause you any trouble.

Friar Sand: Good! From now on, you are the youngest apprentice of the master, and the burden will be handed over to you.

Dad Bai: I am willing to help!