Humorous sentences _ humorous language sentences

Humorous people always tell some classic jokes to make people laugh. Below I will share some humorous sentences with you. Come and enjoy with me.

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Sentences about humor 1. Is there a person who once made you crazy, but now he is desperately forgetting?

2. You can drive a Land Rover only if you eat hard, and you can drive a Li Xia only if you don't work hard.

I accidentally want to be with you forever.

Big sister is often imitated, but never surpassed.

5. "There are many miracles in the small world. If the pig is happy and smart, your sadness will disappear. I read the message carefully and smiled. "

It is said that a girl was extremely ugly and was robbed by a group of robbers one day. When you get on the bus and see the girl, let her off. His daughter said: You robbed me and you have to marry me alone. ? The bandit leader said, Sister, we just made a mistake. This is the money robbed today. Here you are? Women can't stay, and bandits: Please don't do everything. Why don't you go down and we'll turn ourselves in? Women still can't stop, bandits bite their teeth and stamp their feet first. No car! ?

Honey, I have something important to discuss with you! I want to change careers! I'm going to be a beggar. China has a population of 100 million. If everyone begged for a piece, I would have 100 million! You can also consider studying abroad, don't you think?

8. Faye Wong was awarded the best female singer of the year and Liu Yifei the best actress of the year. Gaddafi is unhappy: Me too? Fi. Ci Dai, why didn't I win the prize? It is said that who read this information and sold it to the south without forwarding it? No? Have you changed as a laborer?

9. There is a saying that has been in my heart for a long time. I haven't had a chance to say it yet. I have been wandering in front of your house, watching you from a distance and paying attention to you. During this period, I have suffered and struggled. I decided to tell you about my inner torment today: leader, you have reimbursed the invoice for the last meal! Why don't you treat me tonight?

Please write a love story. Requirements: romantic and concise, with a sad ending. The number of words is unlimited. Some students wrote: male? I love you? , female? Get out?

1 1. Archimedes said: Give me a fulcrum and I can move the earth. ? You said:? Give me a piece of cowhide, and I can blow it to the sky. ? I said:? Give me a BMW and I can-sell it for a good price! ?

12. I want to be your eyes. When you walk in the dark, I will close my eyes tightly, so you will be killed. I want to be your tongue. When you enjoy delicious food, I will fail, so you will be insatiable and want to be your mouth. When you tell her your love, I will be silent, so you will be worried to death. Maybe I can't do this, but sending a message will kill you. I still have confidence. Have a good laugh!

13. Try to save money! Wife wants money, lover wants money, Lao Tzu wants money, and son wants money! Money is not everything, no money is absolutely impossible! No wonder in The Journey to the West, living buddhas ask for money to learn from the scriptures. May the god of wealth give more wealth.

14. You asked me how much I love you, how much I love you, my love remains unchanged, and my love remains unchanged. The moon represents my heart, sleeping under your name, sleeping sweetly with you, warm, fragrant and sweet-dear? Orangutan? .

15. Dear, let me tell you my dream! When I have money, I will buy two houses, one I can't love and the other I just can't live in. When I have money, I will buy two cars, one to drive and the other to tow. When I have money, I will send the iphone to someone I hate and let the courier smash it in front of that person. When I am rich, I will marry you and give you complete economic power.

16. If I send you a sentence, you will be perfect this year. If I give you a word, you will be beautiful in pairs this year. If I give you one more word, you will be happy this year. If I have said this, and you are still looking up the figures, then you should study math well this year.

17. There is only one thought in my heart: eating, and there is only one goal in my mind: treating guests and silently asking you out: together, I hope you can show your talents when you pay the bill. Hehe, please be humorous: accept and send you happiness: every day.

18. A real warrior is fearless in the face of dripping blood; A true wise man does not panic in the face of thousands of difficulties and dangers; A real brother is willing to be your woman when you need a woman!

19. What I hate most is to reply after receiving my message? Oh? Dear friends, I am most afraid of people who delete my message as soon as they receive it. What I like best is the kind of person who smirked at my news. What I admire most is the person who forwards my news as soon as he sees it. Honey, what kind of person are you?

20. Monkey, have you never heard Chang 'e's sister's heavenly singing or appreciated her graceful dancing? Walking into the moon palace, pigs are intoxicated, even the air is so fragrant, and that feeling is refreshing!

Humorous language sentences 1. The donkey and the horse have known each other for half a year, and the horse finally got up the courage to confess to the donkey: Dear, I will treat you well all my life. Let me kiss you, okay? Donkey refused: I'm sorry, my mother said: Donkey's lips are not right!

2. What is the difference between jumping off a building and jumping off a building? ~ ~ ~ ~ answer. The building is:? Bang! Ah. ? The building is:? Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ Bang! ?

3. Inform users that the binding function between mobile phone and bank card has been activated, but due to network problems, some users cannot use this function normally. In order to test the function, please go to the nearest large supermarket to buy items, and shake your mobile phone at the card reader several times when you pay at the cashier. If the bus from the madhouse arrives a few minutes late, it means that you have not successfully activated this function.

Since you look like yourself in front, Guo Da above, Huang Hong on the left and Zhao Benshan on the right, everyone calls you affectionately? Four unlike? . Hehe, may you laugh often.

I heard that Apple's mobile phone has many functions that we haven't used. I worked hard to save my hard-earned money to buy an Apple mobile phone. I took it out in the shop and groped excitedly. While playing, I asked the salesperson and watched the salesperson introduce the function impatiently. I am smart enough to say that I know this function. Then I chose flight mode and threw my phone out. Then I saw the cold sweat on the clerk's face ~ ~ ~ and then ~ ~

6. You say you are sad, and I will comfort you; You say disappointment, I will cheer you up; You say back pain, I'll rub it for you; You say your back itches, I'll scratch it for you; You say you have a toothache, I'll pull it out for you! Keep you busy!

7. Xiaoming was kidnapped and forced to tell his bank card password. The kidnappers were tortured with electric batons. Xiao Ming said with a dignified expression: I won't talk about it, and I don't look at which school I graduated from. The kidnapper asked, which school? Ming Dow Jr.: Xiamen University! The kidnapper grinned: Do you know which school I graduated from? Xiaoming has a question: What school? The kidnapper smiled: TV University! Happy moment, I wish you happiness.

8. The thin body still wants to hit you hard, hit you hard, it will be uncomfortable if you don't hit, and finally I will vent my explosive power. ? Atchoo？ I finally sneezed comfortably. My friend, I think you sneeze like this. I don't feel carefree without it. Friend, I am thinking of you very hard.

9. When we were young, we didn't guess. I sing and you dance. I can sing 200 songs and you can dance 200 dances, so people affectionately call me 200 songs and you 200 dances.

10. "When you receive this message, please look around immediately. Have you found the person you are looking for everywhere? Like you, he looks around with a mobile phone; If so, please give him my regards. If he says hello to you, he must have received the same message as you. If not, then the only person I want to bless is you. I wish you happiness. "

1 1. I didn't hear from you after the Chinese New Year, and I was very distressed. It hurts to miss you. I once cut off my pulse with a banana. Hit your head with eggs; Noodles. But none of them are dead. Please eat a meal and die.

12. Since eating gutter oil strips, my stomach has cramped, my intestines are going crazy and I can't walk steadily. Since drinking fresh skin milk, my heart has stopped beating, my lungs have stopped sucking, and my blood is blocked. Fortunately, I have a styrene-acrylic wooden bed and slept on it for one night. My pain is gone, my troubles are gone, and my life is fading away. Have a good laugh!

13. Although they are loud, they dare not lose their temper. When they saw the iphone, they hid in the corner. When they met htc, they were as good as cats Nokia dare not provoke them. Samsung dare not touch them. They are not as good as Motorola. Different Lenovo grabs the market. Who let us be domestic mobile phones with miscellaneous brands? Can't we go abroad for a walk these days?

14. "Wife: My husband gave me money. Husband: money is not the problem, the problem is no money! Wife: Then buy me a diamond ring! Husband: Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt! Wife: Then I'll find another one! Husband: That won't do! There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female. Wife: Oh, my God! How did I fall in love with you! " Husband: To ask what the world is, everything has its vanquisher. "

15. One day in geography class, the geography teacher asked me: What are the four oceans of the earth? I replied: Teacher, you are wrong. It should be five oceans, right Pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat and Jonie! ?

16. Not all? Dad? Are concerned, such as stocks? Dad? Play the money to death, not all of it? Mom? They are all very kind, such as Huang Shiren's mother, who pushed the poor to death. Not all short messages are for blessing, such as my short messages, but they are all determined to send happiness. I wish you happiness!

17. A woman bought a new bed. Because she lives near the railway station, the lathe rings as soon as it passes. Call after-sales service for maintenance. After the after-sales service, I can't hear it. The woman said you heard it when you were lying in bed. Just lying down after the sale, I passed a train and there was no sound after the sale. The woman didn't believe it and lay down. The husband of the woman who just lay down came back and said angrily, what do you say after sale? Dude, I said I was waiting for the train. Do you believe me?

18. If you don't fight for one day, two days early and three ups and downs, it seems to be over. Don't be impulsive, live, be angry with you and get sick. Eight thousand is difficult to treat, rest and play at ten o'clock! Online games? Fight? You didn't discuss it, did you? I wish you happiness

19. "My dad always asks me when he comes into my room to watch me play computer games? Are you studying? If I'm watching American TV, that's it? Are you learning English? If I'm painting Weibo, yes. Are you writing a novel? If I read text messages on my mobile phone, that's right. You read books on your mobile phone. I wish my parents happy every day! "

20. Dude, you haven't got a job yet! It just so happens that I recently found a position that is very suitable for you. This is tailored for you. I have signed up for you, that is, to be a cook in Xiang Yu military camp. My duty is to carry a bucket to cook, referred to as "useless husband"! Remember to go to the interview. After seeing this news, I shouted to the sky three times: I am useless! You will cross to Xiang Yu's barracks. Good luck!

A humorous classic joke 1. I like your big eyes, so smart and lovely, your soft hair, so smooth and bright, and your good voice, so crisp and sweet: Meow meow, if you are happy, remember to forward my message with your soft little hand.

2. I ate beautifully in the first month, and I was not thin, and I piled up meat. Few people chased me, and I was blown by my lover. I sat at home and became fat, and I felt inferior, and I didn't have three measurements, and I was sad. Still reading text messages? Go and lose weight quickly!

Remember when we were at school, everyone called you? Pigs are strange? I can't stand screaming too many times. Finally, one day, when your classmates call you a nickname again, you burst out: I am not a pig!

If one day we are sailing together by boat, and suddenly you are caught in a crazy storm, I will go down to save you, otherwise the cash you have with you will be wasted. Smile happily!

5. Leaders choose couplets for the unit. The first part: Bai Jiahei promised not to rest on Saturday; Bottom line: five plus two Sunday breaks are not guaranteed; Horizontal batch: work hard! I wish people who see the text messages put pressure on themselves and get more money.

6. Monitor of a new barracks: Hua Jun, why is your quilt always worse than Dou Bing's? Hua Jun: It is reported that Dou Bing made tofu before joining the army, while I made steamed bread with flower rolls before joining the army.

7. What is happiness? Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters. But for me, happiness means that you are fattened, healthy and then slaughtered, haha, pig!

8. You are fat and I am thin. On the balance of our friendship, you account for most of the weight. You are tall and I am short, so let us be in the vast sea of people. You always look back for me. When you are lively and introverted, you always say and I always listen. When can we live on the stage where you only make money and I only spend money? Have a good laugh!

9. When you are in love, promise to marry each other in your next life; After marriage, I often complain that I have built a doomed love in my last life. You say, is it us, the gatehouse is opposite the theater, not to say that enemies don't get together? !

10. In this spring season, cats find lovers, dogs find lovers, and even pigs have their own other half. What about you, dear? You haven't found your dream girl yet, have you? Then you are really worse than a pig and a dog.

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