Funny jokes with pictures in Moments (3)

Funny jokes with pictures in Moments 1. May you have wine, sex and a girl in the future, and the girl will be too ugly to look good.

2. I’m warning you, when I’m unhappy, don’t smile playfully with me, because when you smile, I want to laugh too. I’m embarrassed, you know.

3. Someone told me that Fujianese people don’t distinguish between gay and lesbian. I went up to him and gave him a slap. Where can I not get married?

4. Five principles of summer vacation: 1. Don’t ask about my grades. . 2. Don’t ask about my grades. 3. Don’t show off your achievements to me. 4. Don’t be falsely modest in front of me. 5. Don’t complain about not doing well with results that others can’t touch. Thank you for your cooperation.

5. I have a buddy! He studied nursing at the junior college and entered their class on the day he went to school to report. The scene was incredible. There were 80 students, 79 of whom were girls, so he became the star of their class. Sometimes when we were drinking together, we often laughed at his huge harem! Until one time when he came back to the classroom with a bruised nose and face after being beaten outside, the whole class was excited! So after class, he was surrounded by seventy-nine girls and went out to find a scene. ! Can you imagine a scene where a man with a bruised nose and face takes a group of women to fight? Seventy-nine girls beat 8 boys. The scene was shocking! From then on, we never laughed at him again. TM is a man’s dream!

6. I had an argument with my girlfriend, and she turned around to leave in anger. I immediately yelled, “Stop, you face!” She was completely confused:? Long legs, you have the guts to say it again, what’s wrong with me saying it again? Water snake waist!? Fuck you are simply not human, abs man!?

7. Your cheeks are slightly red, like they are swaying in the wind pig head.

8. Save water, please take a shower together.

9. Friends, before confirming that she will become your girlfriend, take her swimming first. There are three benefits. 1. Look at your figure. You can’t hide it without too many clothes! 2. Look at your bare face. In water, any concealer or foundation will no longer exist. 3. When she learns to swim, she won't ask, "Who do you save first if your mother and I fall into the water together?"

10. Every night I take the subway home, but every time I take the subway I feel extremely heartbroken and lament the quality of the Chinese people. Every time someone calls me loudly without any cover-up. , there are people who play pop songs and get intoxicated with them. The most disgusting thing is that there are couples who are intimate with each other as if no one else is around, completely ignoring the feelings of us singles. Seeing this, how can I still be in the mood to eat my stinky tofu! It makes people laugh. Funny jokes.

11. Many people ask, if I give you 10 million to betray your best friend, how should you choose? For 10 million, I would still choose my friends, who are all naked. Growing up, after so many years, Xiao Ma, Brother Jianlin, and Uncle Gates have been friends for many years. We can’t let the smell of copper tarnish our friendship!

12. A few people were in the golf locker room. The phone rang for a long time, and a man pressed the hands-free button. Woman: Honey, are you in the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I saw a BMW costing less than two million. Man: Buy it. Female: And that property is on the market again, priced at 60,000 per square meter. Man: Buy. Woman: I love you so much. Man: I love you too. The man next to him was dumbfounded in admiration. The man hung up the phone and asked: Whose mobile phone is this?

13. The kidnapper called: "I have your wife in my hands. I can collect 1 million within 24 hours, or I will break up the vote." Husband: No problem with the money, but can I give it to you a few days later? Robber: Why? Husband: I want to be quiet for a few days. ?

14. A colleague had a cough and mistakenly took the laxative medicine as a cough medicine. At noon, I saw this guy saying loudly: "This medicine is so damn effective. I cough and pull my pants. I don't dare to cough now." ?

15. During military training, the whole grade was in the same playground. The place was relatively tight. In order to find a more suitable place, our instructor shouted to us to turn left, turn left, and then turn left. Will turn right.

After working for a long time, my classmate said unbearably: Are you playing with the snake?

16. I heard that girls wearing bras to sleep will affect their breast development, so when I was in math class today, I personally My deskmate took off her bra. I did this for her own good, but I don’t know why she hit me? Haha, I deserve to have a flat chest for the rest of my life!

17. Teach everyone a new skill. If you feel you are not full when you go out to eat, you eat half first, then leave half, then turn around and go out. After a while, the waiter takes away your bowl, and you go back to ask for your food, and then the cycle continues endlessly. Until you are full?

18. There is a time in life, but there is no time in life. It really pisses me off.

19. Did Yue Lao use my red thread to knit long johns?

Funny jokes with pictures in Moments

1. I hope all girls can marry for love, and I married He Yichen.

2. When I was fat, I didn’t dislike the people who were kind to me. I wrote them all down in a notebook. When I lose weight, I will repay you well.

3. When looking for a wife, you must find two types of wives, one is my type, and the other is like me.

4. When I was born, God asked me whether I wanted to have a good memory or be beautiful. I have forgotten how I answered at that time.

5. Since the word "草" was gradually abbreviated to "诹", I have become increasingly unable to look directly at the idiom "smile"!

6 .The most precious birthday gift I have ever received in my life is probably when my mother gave me a life on my first birthday, and I still use it today.

7. My parents have been married for so many years, but they still always tease each other. Didn't my mother say to my father that day: "Look at what your son looks like." ?My dad was dissatisfied at that time and sneered and said: ?Haha, your son is no better than that, just like a monkey. ?

8. I have been dating my ex for 3 years. One day he suddenly broke up with me because he fell in love with someone else. I cried with anger. I fell in love with someone else and didn’t break up with him. How could he? It can be like this!

9. I accidentally left my cell phone in the taxi, but fortunately, the driver unlocked it and called my friend to inform me to get the phone back. I asked the driver: "I unlocked it by face recognition. How did you open it?" The driver said: "I opened it just by looking at Wang Yuan's poster." ?

10. One day when I was not very busy, a friend asked me to help write wedding invitations. I've been writing for a long time, and I feel like something is wrong. I just can't tell what's wrong no matter how I look at it. At this time, my brother's wife came over to look at it and said, "Can you change the groom's name? It's impossible for us." I. . .

11. If you are not acclimatized, I will obey you.

12. On a dark and windy night, a woman was walking alone on the road. Suddenly, a strange man stood in front of her with a dagger. The woman was so scared that she trembled all over, but she heard the man speak politely: Sister, can you give me some money? Have mercy on me, a poor man who has no job and is hungry! You see, my only property now is Is this the dagger!?

13. My girlfriend sent me a photo of lunch on WeChat. I asked with concern: Do you eat steamed buns for lunch? Girlfriend: Nonsense, they eat Xiao Long Bao. . Me: Xiao Long Bao? How come there are no pleats?! She: I took it with beauty, and the pleats are gone!

14. My friend went to KFC to buy a hamburger, and told the waiter that he didn’t want salad, so give it to him I patted two pieces of garlic and put them inside. The waiter said he didn’t have any. He said he had some. Then he took a few out of his pocket and they were all petrified!

15. What can I give you? You don’t need anything. , I’d better send you away. An engaging and humorous space to talk about.

16. Everyone knows that most children cry and fuss when they receive injections.

But I have seen a strange young woman being pinned down on the hospital bed by doctors and nurses, shouting: "Hey, what are you doing? Why did you do it? Let me go, you beast? You beast?"

17. ?Mom, don't worry, you have to believe that there will always be someone waiting for me to appear. ?The Lord of Hell?

18. A female netizen said to send me a photo of a real person. I clicked on it excitedly and saw that it was Zhang Sanfeng.

19. What is the most wealthy thing you have ever done unintentionally? You always thought that power banks were disposable, so you threw away several of them?

20. Helped a friend to order some The son was busy, so he said: "Thank you, I'll treat you to dinner another day!" I waved my hand and said: "You're welcome, you've spent a lot of money recently, save it, I'll treat you and it's still the same." ?I didn’t want him to take out his cell phone immediately and said: ?What day? I’ll make a memo so that I can be prepared. ?Oh my god, you don’t play according to the routine~ gt；gt;gt; More exciting pictures on the next page? Pictures of funny jokes in the circle of friends?