Four unpleasant tones

"Didn't I tell you before?" You don't understand such a simple truth? "

Imagine how you would feel if someone spoke to you in the above tone. Must be uncomfortable.

Why does the tone of rhetorical question have such a strong emotional impact?

A rhetorical question is a rebuttal, which also includes an attack on the speaker himself. Its message is: "You made a mistake, you are not only wrong but also very low-level."

Therefore, whether talking about things formally or chatting privately, rhetorical questions should be used with caution.

What should I do if I find myself in the habit of rhetorical questions? You can try to use the tone of declarative sentences instead, so that others will feel much more friendly.

2. The tone of the command

"Hey, give me this thing of yours!" "Go and praise my friend, be quick!"

The subtext of imperative tone is:

"I am strong, you are weak, I can dominate you at will, and you must obey me."

Some people are neither your work leaders nor your relatives' elders. They are just your friends, but they are always used to using a commanding tone when talking to others.

People who like to talk to others in a commanding tone are often very controlling. They enjoy that kind of control and even crush others' sense of omnipotence.

But no one likes the feeling of being despised and commanded, so it is easy to cause contradictions.

3. An impatient tone

"It's all my fault, it's all my fault. You're right, okay?"

"I have no choice but to think so!"

The impatient tone is saying:

You are a problem, you are a problem, and you make me unhappy.

There is a concept in communication theory called consistent communication, which means that when we express a meaning, the content and tone of our speech should be consistent, so as to convince each other. Once inconsistent, it will have the opposite effect and increase the distrust of the other party. That's the impatient tone.

When a person reluctantly says "yes" to you, it will only make people understand that they are unwilling, and disgust is the real idea. This so-called compromise is more annoying than saying no directly.

4. The tone of preaching

"I'm telling you this for your own good."

"Do you understand?"

Some people think that they are objective and rational when talking to others. But: talking too much can easily turn into preaching in the eyes of others.

People are narcissistic. When a person speaks to others in a didactic tone, it will make others feel:

It's just that the speaker is mature and naive, which actually hurts a person's self-esteem.

People who talk to others in a didactic tone seem friendly and reasonable, but unconsciously they set others against themselves, causing psychological conflicts and even contests.