Is it necessary for a daughter-in-law who hasn't gone through the door to help her in-laws wash clothes and underwear?

No need. Even if you enter the door, you don't need to help your parents-in-law wash. You have no obligation. But to tell you the truth, they are all embarrassed to ask you to help wash it. They are still moving, not to the point where they can't move. In that case, you should help wash it.

This is not the way to honor the elderly. If you really help with the washing, you may be asked to do something in the future. It's very kind of you to help, but don't let them take you for granted. . . Sometimes it's hard to get used to. Know what I mean?

My friend's mother-in-law only needs to wash my friend's underwear. . This is the gap.

I think you should talk to your boyfriend. The fact that things have come to this point shows that he is also responsible, and he failed to handle the relationship between you. To tell the truth, I don't like such a man. Have no place in the family. Can't handle a little thing well. What about the future?